The soft hum of the aircondition penetrated his fragile state of soft slumber in a hotel room with a pillow far too uncomfortable for his own liking. It wasn't so much the texture or the softness of the cushion that irritated him but more so his presence in an environment so undesired for his current mental state that the air within the space felt suffocating and contaminated with all kinds of poisons, ready to distinguish his existence. Perhaps it would be for the better, would it not be for that one woman who held the red string that connected him to this earth within her perfectly manicured fingers. How he wished to hold her just for this night. In between hectic schedules and promotions, he found himself looking for her face everywhere, only finding her perfect pearl whites shining back at him from posters loitered across Tokyo. They currently weren't promoting and yet some stores persistingly kept the Yoohoo banners up, letting customers know the CD was still available to be purchased in that particular store.

But no picture could ever compare to the original.

No position ever did justice to the way her radient features would lighten up when he'd look at her. No lighting would do justice to the way sunlight, candle light, the moonlight fell onto her pale alabaster skin, leaving him itching to trail his fingers across patches of skin along her arms, neck, face, just anywhere with her soft melodic chuckle to echo through the space of the room they'd be sharing. None of the songs TS would compose for SECRET could bring out the colours of her voice better than the songs he'd make for her because no one knew her voice like he did. With all the hitched breaths, whispers and keens that only he'd get the privilege of hearing. 

He missed her. Dearly so.

How unfair it was that she would be stuck promoting in Korea, while he was all the way over here, degraded to be satisfied with mere rushed text messages in between hectic schedules and little time to sleep. "I miss you." "I wish you were here." "Soon." The one word that would both keep them hanging on the line. Soon. 

A sigh exhaled past tired lips as he stared up at the ceiling, feeling lifeless, feeling tired to the core. He was nothing without her. His constant guiding light fading into a blurry shimmer in the distance as fog kept clouding his thoughts, his vision, everything appearing just a little less colourful, less lively without her. Phone in between fingers, he stared at the unmoving screen, the picture of her smiling sillily at him. If one were to ever cast a glance at his screen, a millions of rumors would arise again and he'd be forced to keep further distance to her than he already was, afraid of the leashback she'd receive. His one prior instinct was always to protect her, to wish her well. It tore at his heart to see himself unable to comfort her when she seemed more tired and more animate when performing a comeback that was supposed to appear groundshaking. Another missed chance for a number one hit, another missed chance at winning. And it was in that moment his screen lit up.

Tossing and turning within the comfort of her sheets, she simply could not find any calm that night. A never nagging worry and longing tugging at her consciousness, forcing her back awake when sweet slumber seemed to have finally come. Exhaling a frustrated sigh, the young musician sat up, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth. A gaze casted around the dark room, she could possibly not request for Hana to wake up to talk Jieun asleep, knowing the female could have that calming effect on her. The one person her concern mainly circled around not being her sleeping best friend anyway, Jieun curled her fingers around her phone, poking her nail against the black display. Should she call him and risk waking him up? Was he tossing and turning just like herself? His face lately had seemed so torn down, so tired and she longed for nothing more than to enclose him in her embrace, fingers running through his hair with calm and composing words as she'd tug him out of the fog she could see himself enclouding in. Long ago she had come to learn about his self destructive tendencies, luckily always finding a way to pluck him back together after one of his escapades. His tattoo had unsettled her. It didn't matter to her what ink he'd imprint on his skin, to her he would always remain perfection come alive but the motives behind it were what got her brows furrowing together in worry.

It was like a silent cry for help and she couldn't do anything to answer it. 

Exhaling a tired sigh, a hand came up to run through long curls as she remained staring at the unmoving screen, her fingertip pressing down on a buttom to make the screen come to life. With hesitating touches she brought up his number on the screen, wondering if she should call him or not. Intuition driving her into pressing her finger down on the option "video call" she panicked for a second when the calling screen came into view, a preview of her own shocked reflection staring back at her. "Oh -" Doing quick work to fix her hair, she waited with anticipation and hope, mixed together with the unsettling feeling what condition he'd be in if he did indeed pick up the line. And he did.

"Hey." 

He looked tired, lifeless, except for a hint of surprise and joy within his features. He was happy she had called, Jieun could tell. A slightly relieved smile stretched across her lips, delighted and relieved he was at least alive and breathing still.

"Hey." She called softly in return, moving to rest her head back on the pillow while tilting her screen so it would be as if he was laying beside her. The thought left her features to display an expression of longing but at the same time love, fingertip running along the side of her screen as if she was tracing his features. "Did I wake you up?"

"Nope. Couldn't sleep. You kinda beat me to calling, to be honest." A display of a gummy smile made her exhale a breathy chuckle, the tiredness of past weeks and hard work seemingly easing off her shoulders. "Oh did I now?"

"I don't want to be alone tonight."

His features stiffened as he admitted that, feeling defeated, tiny and vulnerable. Three emotions he detested the most to be feeling, seeing as he'd always prefer to  appear as the undestructive rock and warrior, fighting for justice and a better world. He could see her features tense with worry and understanding, knowing she'd be running her fingers through his hair in that very moment would they be laying next to each other. His eyes closed out of instinct, almost as if he'd be able to feel her fingers carding through his freshly cut hair.

"Please take better care of yourself. You look awful."

"Why, thank you." Laughter greeted him, which in return made a tired smile appear on his lips. She was like a refreshing spring rain, leaving behind the delightful smell of wet gras and fresh nature that was so rare to find in the city.

"I'm serious. You're doing it again." Her voice made him open his eyes, looking back into her worried features. How he wished he could kiss the wrinkles on her forehead away, calm her and ease her into his embrace with both of them left falling asleep.

"I'm afraid of the dark tonight." He began quoting and she understood, she always did. Their taste in music was different and yet alike. Another sigh echoing from his speakers, serious eyes were fixated on the screen when he traced the patch of his thumb carefully along the side of his phone, longing to touch her.

"Don't be afraid to fall. You know I'll catch you. I won't leave you alone. I'm right here with you." Soothing words easing down his back like luke warm water, loosening the tensing knots in his muscles as a defeated smile greeted her. His eyes remained closed as he bathed in the sound of her voice, phone held just a little tighter to himself.

"I'm usually not like this-"

"I know."

Relief washed over her features when he finally let go, his words spoken in such childish stubbornness that it made a grin appear on her own features. She didn't mind the loss for a win on music shows. Their comeback had been a success regardless, despite her own selfdoubts to question her ability as a main vocalist, now that even Hana seemed to be shining brighter than her. She was fearing to fade into the background with only her vocals left to impress. These days it seemed like not even those were sufficient enough to keep the name SECRET going about the country and beyond. It caused her great distress.

"You too though."

"Huh?" Voice shaking a little more than she'd like, the invitation their comfortable atmosphere offered her to let loose making it hard for her to keep her grief inside.

"You always piece me back together but you never give me a chance yourself." His words were piercing and precise, hitting the nail right on the head which left her only more teary, his eyes opening to her covering her vision with her arm. Like she always would when she didn't want someone to see her cry.

"It's just a phase..:" She tried to say, voice growing thin with emotion as she attempted to convince not only him but herself too. 

"You know it's not your fault. Stop blaming yourself for all the things that don't go right. I'm sure the others told you that already, didn't they?"

A nod was giving in response by her before a sniff could be heard over the line. "I feel so useless."

"You're one of the most talented vocals out there, Jieun. Just let me write your next comeback and you'll finally get a nicely fitting song for your voice." He spoke with confidence, half serious and half joking in an attempt to lighten her mood. It seemed to be working as she laughed, finally uncovering her eyes to reach for a tissue and clean her face, erasing traces of previously shed tears he wished he could have wiped away with his touch.

"Wait just a minute. I'm usually not like this-"

"I know."

A/N: I haven't written in a while, oh my. This isn't beta'd but I hope you enjoyed reading regardless! Comments are appreciated =)