"it only takes one action, one word, one memory to set hearts ablaze

and its that one action, word and memory that can also scald the hearts and burn"

was it worth it?

the meanings were hidden under cover

yet he thought it was obvious the whole time

yet Jackson thought he was done with him

Jackson forgot Youngjae wasn't one who would sacrifice their strong relationship

Choi Youngjae

the groups vocal

with an undeniably soothing voice that Jackson fell for

and Youngjae was also

the latter who saved him from the tidal wave of darkness

every day was a new day of laughter and happiness

tough challenges and training

yet there were days where things were just a blur of grey

Youngjae was an angel in disguise

but an angel who was dying

"If you had taught me better we could've won!" Jackson would say

but, "I'm sorry. I'll work harder next time." Youngjae would answer

arguments were like small ambers

before they could burn bright like a bonfire

they were put out by Youngjae

but soon enough, Youngjae wasn't there often to extinguish it

it hurt, it hurt badly but Jackson endured it

and then the heart grew slowly with rage

Youngjae became less frequent in his conversations with Jackson

and they avoided each other

and their arguments grew with fury

and Youngjae's sleeves grew longer

"All these time you thought I actually cared?

Well you thought wrong."

those words slipped out of Jackson's mouth with ease

the silence was broken with the loud slam of the door

the following weeks, Jackson's ears were craving to hear the sound of Youngjae's voice

talking to him casually, like an old friend again

it's a phase. it's a phase. Jackson had to keep reminding himself

and only on Youngjae's birthday did he have the courage to knock on his room door

his door creaked open slightly

strange

oh but it was left open for a reason

because Youngjae was lying on the floor

and had no time to lock the door

his there Jackson saw

Youngjae's not breathing anymore

Youngjae was gone

Youngjae's heart has failed

it was too soon but cardiac arrest did it

and what hurts was that

after all, Youngjae saved Jackson

but Jackson couldn't save Youngjae