The office was big, much larger than she had remembered it was when she had came a few months ago. 

 

With a sigh, she trudged along the glass floor, her heels humming against its surface with a repetitive cling cling cling sound.

 

The building was a breathtaking sight, arching at the front and towering a whole twenty-five levels at the back. There was barely any old feeling to it as it looked new and was constantly under renovation. One thing Gaeun had not payed much attention to before was how much of it was made of glass. Thin, transparent glass that looked like it would crack under her feet any minute. 

 

The lobby was huge, chairs and desks, rows and rows of book shelves and computers aligned in symmetry. There were people at the computers, almost a dozen at each station and immediately Gaeun felt under immense pressure. 

 

Park Chanyeol, she repeated in her head a few times before taking a look at the faces behind some of the computers. Most of them were women, blouses and skirts tucked in no speck of unprofessionalism visible. It warmed Gaeun to think the company was more female dominant. 

 

"Are you looking for something?" Someone spoke and Gaeun blinked for a moment.

 

Turning to her right, she noticed a young male seated at the computer near the back. With caution, she walked towards him, her steps quiet not wanting to disturb the others.

 

The man was slumped in his seat, his shoulders slouched and gum in his mouth. In fact, his chewing was loud and irritable. He raised his eyebrow, giving the girl a one-over.

 

"I'm looking for Park Chanyeol," She spoke and the man stared at her slowly.

 

He looked at her as though this Chanyeol character was someone she wasn't supposed to know about. 

 

"Park to the front desk," the man spoke into the reciever of a phone. 

 

It echoed in the room and a few heads turned to look at the speaker system before turning back to work. 

 

The man smacked his lips, giving Gaeun a wary nod before questioning,

 

"Do you have a date with him?" 

 

Gaeun sputtered, her balance faltering and her cheeks beginning to hue a deep red. She was bewildered, her eyes searching his face for some sort of 'joke' look. 

 

"What? No, I don't even know him!" She said quickly, the palms of her hands beginning to sweat.

 

"He usually brings girls here, you're not fooling anyone doll," the man chuckled. His gum expanded into a bubble and then popped right before Gaeun's face.

 

She was furious. How dare he question her with such a delusional assumption? Not only did he invade her space but he was irrational and a horrible employee as well. 

 

"Mind you, I have no interest in associating with animals like yourselves, " She spat, her fingers brushing away the saliva that had touched her cheeks when he blew up his gum.

 

"Then may I ask what someone like you is doing here?" He countered, emphasizing the you like she was some sort of inferiority. 

 

"And what am I exactly?" She scoffed.

 

"Chanyeol didn't tell me his next had an attitude."

 

Gaeun stomped her foot on the floor beneath her, almost ready to strangle this mans neck.

 

"I am not anyone's next! You are a lousy employee, I might as well have you fired!" She grumbled.

 

"I'm sorry, you clearly have no business here. I find it in your best interest to leave," the man his upper row of teeth, leaning back and facing his computer screen again.

 

"You're sick, and I have no idea how people like you have jobs," she spat again, speaking slowly as if he were stupid.

 

"Gaeun?" Someone called from behind her and she spun around, her cheeks red.

 

"What?" 

 

The boy was tall. Very tall and very cute. 

 

Park Chanyeol was a slim one with a broad smile, one that could swallow a person whole. His retro glasses and dark red hair sparked a sense of youth in him. His blazor was pulled over a dress shirt and a pair of trousers. He had a few clipboards and papers stashed under he forearm and a thin silver ring on his pinky finger.

 

He towered over her, not looking impressed at all. 

 

"I asked you to ask for me, not insult our employees," He sighed.

 

Gaeun took a deep breath, not wanting to loose her cool. She had never been one to loose her temper before.

 

"I'm sorry, there was some misunderstanding," She frowned.

 

Already her chances of getting back the payment she was promised was falling slim. 

 

"Don't do something you'll regret ma'am," Chanyeol spoke under his breath.

 

Was it really worth all of this? Something in Gaeun's head told her to leave, to walk away and forget everything. It wasn't fair that she was being treated like nothing after it was their fault she was here in the first place. If she had gone home, her mother would ask what happened and she would have to explain that they weren't getting the payment and it was all her fault. Maybe, just maybe if she had done well today things would be back to normal. She wanted to go home smiling so her mother knew everything was okay. She wanted her mother to feel like there was a chance for them to grow as a family again.

 

Her eyes began to feel clouded and the familiar stinging feeling returned. 

 

"Let's just go," She mumbled, walking ahead of him.

 

If their father hadn't passed then maybe they wouldn't be in this situation right now. October twelve, two thousand and one. The day her and her mother decided the only thing they could do was beg. It seemed ridiculous really, thinking so highly of yourself and believing all your life you were superior. And then the next second you were on your knees, pleading and crying under the foot of another being. Her mother had cried for nights, endless phone calls to neighbours, friends and family. She needed help. 

 

An old friend of her fathers had decided to pay her condolences by offering her mother a deal. Gaeuns father and the lady were close and almost conjoined at the hip because of their closeness. She had told her mother that she was earning illegal money. Money that she wasn't supposed to have on her hands. She explained that if she had spent her profits on a house or a car, the authorities would be suspicious as she was known as a woman of low status. Being so, she had invested in the biggest company she knew, GFT. By doing so, the business flourished and she gained what she had expected. By now the money was clean and she was able to spend it on whatever she wanted, making it seem like it was coming from the businesses success.

 

The moral of her story was that the lady, Yubin, didn't want to hold it all on her own and being the 'kind' woman she was, she decided to share her profit with the family after their fathers death. The CEO had known of the situation Yubin was in and agreed to finance her as well. With this close connection, Yubin had arranged for monthly meetings with the CEO of the company so that Gaeun could cry and beg for money just like she had. That way, the CEO would either decline or accept her condition and send out a check in her name to be granted to the family. 

 

So for a year or so, Gaeun had met up with the CEO, telling a tragic tale of how she barely could afford dinner and that her room was falling apart in front of her eyes. And with that, they would recieve a hearty sum of money that paid for their bills and all other necessities. 

 

Was it against what she had stood for? Yes. She knew in a way Yubin wanted to spread the blame. If she had gotten caught by any chance, so would Gaeun and her mother. But her mother wasn't able to see this, too busy being blinded by a future of hope and new beginnings. 

 

Taking part in an illegal activity was never what she had planned but somehwere along the line she had forced herself to believe that it was for the best. It was for their happiness. 

 

Her tears blurred her vision as she stood in front of a large door. 

 

"Are you okay?" Chanyeol asked, bending over a little so he could see her face. 

 

"I hope you understand that this is a special treatment for you," he continued.

 

When she didn't respond,  he sighed stepping back and sauntering down the hallway. 

 

Gaeun wimpered, confused as to why he had gone but she shrugged it off. Wiping her tears with her index finder, she sniffled.

 

"Here," she heard someone speak beside her.

 

A small piece of cloth was brought up to her cheek and she turned around.

 

Chanyeol had brought her a face towel, probably from the staff room down the hall. 

 

She peered up at him, for once a look of concern and worry written over his face. She glanced over the faded dimple on his left cheek when he pursed his lips.

 

"Thank you," She managed to fumble and Chanyeol's fingers tapped nervously against the hem of his blazor.

 

"I don't do this to people, I shouldn't do this to people," He tightened his lips, turning the door knob an inch.

 

"You can go ahead now. When you're done just follow the junior assistant back to the front and head out." Robotic Chanyeol had returned. 

 

"Thanks," she said again, ing her coat.

 

"I'm not usually like that. Don't let it get to your head." 

 

And with that, he walked off, leaving Gaeun alone.

 

---------

 

"My child, you can stop wiping the floor,"  Gaeun's mother frowned, grabbing Jongdae by the collar and pulling him up.

 

The towel in his hand fell to the cold floor beneath him and he scrunched his nose playfully.

 

"I'm serious, if anything I need you to shovel the snow outside not clean up here," she picked up the cup of coffee on the table and leaned her free hand on her hip.

 

Jongdae let out a laugh, fixing his position so he was crossing his legs and looking up at the older woman. 

 

"You're always such a burden," she mocked, ruffling his hair.

 

Jongdae had been a part of the family since birth. Born from the sister of Gaeun's mother, he was basically her brother with a one year . That was probably one of the reasons why he was so strict, the fact that he was older than Gaeun made him feel more responsible. Like a father figure of some sort. 

 

Him and Gaeun weren't close during their childhood because Jongdae practically lived in the hospital. The musky old equipment and feverish atmosphere was where he spent most of his days, in a gown and many wires dug into his skin. He had always had some sort of problem with nutrition and hydration. Gaeun's mother had never really explained and she had never really asked. 

 

But as years passed, they grew fond of one anothers company. With his parents always traveling, he lived on his own attending the occasional college lecture but other then that he was a free soul. 

 

Now he spent most of his time at Gaeun's home, helping the two and hanging around them so much to the point that Gaeun never locked the door anymore so he could simply walk in.

 

"Umma, why don't you sit?" He frowned.

 

The lady brought the cup up to her lips and breathed in the liquid, completely ignoring Jongdae. 

 

"Fine, don't blame me when your back starts hurting again," he chuckled and she immediately sat down on the couch behind her.

 

Jongdae laughed, amusement in his eyes.

 

"You're just like my daughter," she rolled her eyes.

 

"That's a good thing umma," he corrected her.

 

"I hope you've been watching out for her," The lady's tone was more strict, sad almost.

 

Jongdae noticed this and he leaned back, his weight on his arms. 

 

"I've been trying. It's difficult, she's always mad when I do,"he replied, remembering the way she got upset at him a while ago for scolding her about coming home too late.

 

Her mother nodded, "I know, she doesn't want to be babied after she practically raised herself."

 

Jongdae blinked, "She works hard but she was never like this before."

 

"She doesn't like it when she has to be protected from things she's grown up with, " her mother sighed, turning away from the boy.

 

He gave her a look, shivering a little from the soft chill of the afternoon, "What do you mean?"

 

"She's experienced everything child," the woman began, "Pain, suffering, danger, heartbreak."

 

"There has got to be more of an explanation-"

 

"She has seen all those things with her own eyes, felt all those things with her bare hands." She struggled to speak, remembering all those nights when her daughter came home crying.

 

"But I'm trying to help her umma-"

 

"What is the point of trying to help a blind man who has already lost his sight?"

 

Jongdae let out a shaky breath. She was right, Gaeun had been through hell and back so what was the point of him trying to help her? Still, he was confused,

 

"So why do you want me to protect her so much? What's the point of protecting her from evil she already knows?" He blurted.

 

The lady closed her eyes, one arm massaging her wrinkled temple. 

 

All those times she had let her daughter suffer on her own. All those times she had watched her daughter bask in regret and sorrow only to sit on the side and watch her. All those times she was too afraid to help. 

 

"All this time I've been hoping she understood, the harm is not around her. I'm not trying to protect her from the evils around her," Gaeun's mother frowned,  locking eyes with Jongdae,

 

"I'm trying to protect her from herself."

 

---------------

 

 

The last thing her heart wanted was to see him. 

 

To see him sitting at the desk a metre in front of her, looking helplessly beautiful in a fitting black suit. To see him staring back at her with eyes so confused, so lost. To see him right under her nose knowing she couldn't touch him but oh how she wanted to.

 

"How shocking you're back," CEO Kim YeeJin smiled. 

 

Gaeun gave her a small nod, her eyes still gazing at the young man beside her. 

 

"Oh, this is junior assistant Mr. Byun. I'm not sure if he would like you to call him Baekhyun," YeeJin furrowed her brow, looking over at the man before he shook his head, brown locks falling slightly out of place.

 

"Mr. Byun is fine ma'am." He said.

 

His voice had changed. Gaeun noticed it dropped an octave or so over the time they had been apart and something in the pit of her stomach flipped when she heard him speak. 

 

One whole year. Twelve long agonizing months. She had grieved him, cried for him, longed for him and here he was seated in front of her looking as dashing as ever. He had matured, something in his eyes looked like he had struggled and lived. He was alive, his smile more charming and boyish than it had ever been before. But the same soft lingering smell of cologne and after shave emitted off of the man. His hair was styled back, never loosing its shape or delicate chocolate color.

 

But Baekhyun hadn't given her a second glance when she walked in. His eyes met hers for a second, shock and loss in his eyes before turning back and whispering something to YeeJin. But Gaeun could read him like a book now. She knew he was confused and hurt at the same time. She could tell just by the tone of his voice or the way he nervously bounced his knee over and over again. 

 

I love you. She pained, remembering the words he had told her so many times before. And now he wouldn't even let her call him by his real name. 

 

"Let's get this started shall we dear?" YeeJin folded her hands over her lap and smiled.

 

"How have you been?" She asked suddenly, her eye smile so endearing. 

 

Gaeun felt a cold sweat break and she tried to answer honestly.

 

But she couldn't speak. The more she tried to form words in her brain, she failed miserably, only soft mumbles escaping her lips. 

 

Byun Baekhyun. That was all she could think about for now, for as long as she would live. She tried to look down or anywhere she knew wasn't near him. It hurt. It damn hurt like hell and in no way would she be able to speak when he was around her. It seemed surreal. As if this was some crazy deja vú and she would awake any minute. 

 

For a second Baekhyun glanced up at her but he quickly looked away. Gaeun caught it though. She practically caught everything about him.

 

"Are you okay?" YeeJin pouted, reaching over to place a hand over hers. 

 

She wished it was Baekhyun. 

 

"You're not well. I've been through alot, things even I never expected myself to get through and I can see in your eyes you're not well," YeeJin replied.

 

 Gaeun tried to keep her expression blank and her eyes away from the one her heart used to beat for. 

 

"Tell me, speak to me," YeeJin was getting to her. The more she asked about her past, the more she was able to give her the money with more of a smile. 

 

This was the meeting Gaeun had planned for hours, day and night. But the minute she began to speak, those words became nothing and new ones of truth and pain replaced them.

 

"Mr. Byun, ask her some questions," YeeJin smiled, glancing up at Baekhyun who had his eyes on Gaeun.

 

Nostalgia. Strong nostalgia. 

 

Her heart beat so hard she was afraid it would rip out of her ribcage. 

 

Baekhyun frowned, not daring to look away from her. His eyes searching hers, her furrowed his brow. Did he expect her to be okay? Did he expect her to be fine after what happened between them?

 

"What happened, tell me. A break up? A death?" YeeJin probed, her grip on Gaeun's arm tightened. 

 

Baekhyun swallowed, his eyes looking awkwardly at the wall behind them. Gaeun didn't care and at this point, she had no intention of acting like she was okay anymore. Like everything between them was perfect and that she could move on. Because she couldn't. And in no way was she going to continue acting like she could. 

 

For a year she had endured questions and interrogations about what had happened and she complied with a shrug of her shoulders and a grin on her face. She told them she didn't care and it meant nothing to her when every single second she was breaking.  She was dying faster than she thought she would and slowly everything was falling. She had built a wall.  A wall she knew would soon crumble but she ignored it and continued to hide. With every smile and lie she managed to speak her wall began to crack. 

 

She longed for his touch, his voice, hearing him say that she was the best thing that ever happened to him in forever. That warmth he gave her those butterflies he left floating around in her stomach even when he wasn't there. That light headed feeling he left her with that made her look like she was under the influence of some sort of drug. That thought she had that they would grow old together and only leave each other when there were no more stars in the sky.

 

Her wall had fallen and shattered so helplessly under her feet before she had even noticed it was gone. And it was only when she laid eyes on him today, when she saw his beautiful eyes and glorious lips that she realized healing was way over due. 

 

"I don't know where I went wrong," Gaeun cried, burying her face into the palm of her hands. 

 

YeeJin flinched, pulling her arm back.

 

"My dear-" 

 

"I'm sorry but I can't do this, not today," Gaeun breathed, standing up and wiping the hot tears that fell from her eyes. 

 

Baekhyun's mouth was agape and he furrowed his brow. Almost as if he was supposed to, he stood up after her.

 

"But this is the only-"

 

"Let her go," Baekhyun spoke, his eyes still on her. 

 

She had never expected him to say that. At all. 

 

"Mr. Byun, this is protocol!" YeeJin shouted, shooting him a glare.

 

He wanted to let her go. He didn't care if she had walked out and away from him. In all honesty, she thought he would walk up to her, wipe her tears and embrace her in his arms. She thought he would kiss her and tell her it was okay. But maybe she had expected too much. You see the reason she was so sensitive and scarred was because never once could she imagine him walking away from her again. She didn't want to walk away and replay that night that he promsied her he couldn't love her anymore. She didn't want to experience that same feeling that she was nothing without him and she could do nothing on her own. But over all of that, she wanted him to care. She wanted him to cry and feel like nothing just like she had. She wanted him to suffer and die inside until he couldn't bear it any longer. 

 

"I don't know what I'm supposed to feel for you" She finally cried, letting out words she had wanted to say from a long time ago.

 

Something inside her had snapped. She didn't know what to feel, what emotions to express anymore. Was this love? Feeling as though one second you were on cloud nine and the other your insides were flipping in ways they weren't supposed to. She was conflicted in that moment and her mind was screaming, telling her to walk away. But she couldn't. She wanted to stand in his presence for as long as she could stand. Something about not having him made her crave him even more. He was open, a free card.  Anyone could have him now and she had lost her chance. But she couldn't find it in herself to walk away. 

 

So, he did.

 

And for the second time in her life, 

 

Baekhyun had opened the door and walked away.