As a student and a daughter of a religious based family, I have never really thought about the word love. There are two types of love in this world: your family and to that one special someone dear in your heart. I've only got the first part of what love truly is. But the latter is the one I try so hard to run away from. Because I know that one day, I will get into that black hole and there is no turning back.

 

In truth, I am scared. Scared to fall in love, scared to like someone even just a little bit, and also scared to admire someone from afar. Out of all the things that terrify me the most in my life, love has definitely been on top of my list. It is a bit weird I should say so myself. But what can I do about it? The reason why I'm so scared is because of what my parents will do to me if I should ever fall in love.

 

My parents control my life pretty much, believe it or not. My freedom in and out of the house is very, very low. Possible chance of experiencing such feeling is negative zero (if there is such a number). My grades have to be above an A minus because they believe that that's how I'm going to excel and I'm going to stand out from the rest of the people at school. The way I dress has and definitely has to be different from how other students dress. Even if the school doesn't care whether their student wears or not wears a uniform (as long as it's not inappropriate), I have to wear an outfit uniform style every single day. My actions are practiced and disciplined by my parents as well. Just to make sure I don't end up talking or acting like the other students at school. Weekend outings equal family outings. Weekend events equal studying and doing chores. 

 

They have laid out a set of rules since I was in my much younger years. And indeed I was and have been expected to follow each one of them whether my parents are right or wrong. They believe they're always right. Or else, how would I get such numerous college scholarships from top universities around the world, including the US? Yes. If this has been a result for following their strict, nagging rules, then I am glad I'm their child. 

 

But the main, big reason I have come this far in life is because of their ultimate rule: no boyfriends. There were times where I've almost gone out with one. However, under the watchful eyes of my parents and that I cannot hide anything from them (else I'd feel guilty and regret it for the rest of my life), I didn't. Every day and every day, I've tried extremely hard to not fall for anyone. Even at the slightest bit. My distance with boys at school is very long. If one tries to talk to me, I'd walk out on them. I try my best not to even make eye contact. If I ever do, I'd look away and don't do it again.

 

Love? There were times where I'd like to experience it once more. Just once. Not just experience it but actually be part of it. Go on dates with the one I love, be part of a relationship and the sort. Seventeen years of being single. I think it's totally worth it. I can handle it through college and in the end of it. But I don't think I can take it anymore. 

 

* * * * * * * * * *

 

(Flashback)

 

"Jin-Hee, can you come downstairs please? Your father and I have some news to tell you," my mom called. I was in my room in the middle of solving the last word problem for geometry homework. Generally speaking, it's actually home work where my parents actually assigned me to do it before I end my day of doing school work. With no complaints nor thoughts backing me up as to what the reasons was for my parents to talk to me, I made my way downstairs to find both of them sitting in the living room.

 

As usual, my father looks professional as he always does. He has just come back from work, which was to finish a court case. Yes, my father is a lawyer. My mother is my teacher at home/housewife. And then there is me, their daughter, student, and responsibility. 

 

My mother sat up straight when I arrived and took a seat on a couch that's across from them. My father then cleared his throat, preparing himself to speak and for my absolute attention. 

 

"Jin-Hee, as you are aware, you are going to start a new term at a new school in Seoul International Academy for the Gifted." I nodded in response. After speaking, it was my mother's turn to do so.

 

"You have made us very proud to the extent. And our rules are a bit horrendous and strict yet you have stuck through them no matter what," she paused. I nodded in response but left me quite confused at the end of her sentence. Her words are very, very strange. My mother is not like this. My father I understood. But my mother? I don't think so.

 

"Because of our concern for you and the new enviroment you will have to be in until your high school graduation, your father and I have decided to let our close friends' sons be your friends till then." I choked on my own spit, which left my parents in a sighing routine.

 

"Jin-Hee, I believe it is for your own good. Despite the fact that the school is indeed an excellent school filled with bright students, there are some who are just wolves in sheep clothing. And I don't want anything to happen to you at all. So just consider this as protection, alright?" my father reassured. Sadly, I had to give in and agreed. Disobeying or not following my parents orders, suggestions, and rules is strictly forbidden. But at the same time, I felt that by having my so-called "friends" by my side is going to change the way my life has been forever.

 

* * * * * * * * * *

 

(Present. This is where the REAL story begins.)

 

The ear piercing alarm clock of mine jolted me awake, sending my heart and soul to heaven. First mistake of the day- having an alarm clock five millimeters away from my ear. Stopping the alarm before waking up routine was not even necessary. My eyes continued to widen and their vision is slowly adjusting to the bright morning light shining through my thin curtain hanging over the open window. Second mistake of the day- open window. Third mistake- thin curtain.

 

My body reassured itself after my alarm clock's "horror movie" scream and everything went back to its normal state. As for the clock, well, I will have to buy a new one as my gaze dropped at its dismembered parts scattered on the floor. Including the glass. Carefully walking towards the restroom, I suddenly realized that today is my first day of school at Seoul International. The uniform, including the well polished black leather shoes, were put in one corner of my room. 

 

My mom must've went in last night. I let out a small sigh and scratched what looked like a bird's nest on top of my head. My eyes widened to the size of a racoon when I saw the state of my ebony, wavy hair. Literally a bird could live in there or mistaken it for its own home and lay its eggs. There is a high possible chance that could happen. That's because my window was wide open.

 

Anyone or anything could've come in...

 

But no matter, no matter. I took a quick shower and hurriedly dressed up. Looking at the state of my wet hair, I decided to let nature dry it on the way to school. I'm walking there anyways. Or bike. Either way, I won't be alone. Supposedly the boys are coming with me anyways. As I put on my shoes, I heard noisy clamoring going on downstairs in the dining room. Speaking of the boys, they are here. Unfortunately.

 

I put on a disgusted face for a second but quickly dropped it. Else it will stay on permanently and I will then make a huge bad impression of myself. I looked at the full body mirror hanging on the wall and practiced smiling. Smile. Smile. Smile. My lips widened to the point where it actually hurted. Giving in to the fact that I just cannot be pleased with THEM around, I put on a relaxed expression but not smiling.

 

I rushed downstairs to the dining room when I suddenly felt a bump in front of me. It's as if I hit a wall with great force, soon making me lose my balance. But it was not until an arm pulled me by the waist and soon finding myself against that person's solid chest. "Whoops." 

 

I looked up to find a guy with short, black hair and a friendly pair of eyes. He was grinning, and yet at the same time, apologetic. He wasn't that tall though he has topped my height by a few centimeters. But I can definitely tell he's at least older than me by something. 

 

"Lucky catch huh?" the guy laughed. Snapping out of my thoughts, I immediately pulled myself away from his protection and continued going down the stairs without looking back. What a weirdo. He did not even say sorry. 

 

As soon as I stumbled upon the dining room, the chairs were filled with people sitting on them (mostly the boys) and the breakfast plates were almost gone. Except for some soup. But that was about what my eyes could gander at. I released a disappointing sigh. The boys soon turned their attention to me, which caught me off guard.

 

Oh my gosh.

 

They were actually good looking! As in, they-came-out-of-the-modeling-agency good looking. I thought at first they all looked the same but most of the hairs were dyed. I'm surprise their parents allow them to do so. Wait no. I'm surprised that MY parents allowed THEM to be friends with ME. The person who stood out the most I think would be the boy sitting across from where I stood. His hair is white. As in bleached white.

 

I've never seen a person that up close before in my life. His eyes looked so bored out as he was looking at me. I think every eyes were when I first stepped in the room. And that's the one thing that just totally ruined my day. Aside from the almost-emptied-out-breakfast-food-except-for-the-soup, yeah, I think with the hint of heavy sarcasm in my head, everything has just turned out great as expected for my first day of school.

 

"Jin-Hee, hurry up and eat! You guys are going to be late!" my mother bugged as she lightly smacked me with her wooden spoon on my shoulders. I immediately sat down and did as I was told. As I indulged myself on the soup, my privacy seemed to have decreased its level. I could feel their eyes stare at me. The temptation to look up at them was very hard to resist. But, it was just making me really uncomfortable so I raised my head up to take a glance at the boys.

 

"G-Good morning?" I said nervously and really creeped out. So now my greeting changed itself to a question from the tone of my voice. One boy smiled kindly. He had black hair with layered bangs swept sideways. Come to think of it, he seems to be the youngest out of all the faces I've seen in this dining room.

 

"Why are you so nervous, Jin-Hee? Lighten up!" he reassured me. I gave him my weakest smile. The boy noticed and let out a laugh.

 

"Ah, before I forget, I'm Jungkook by the way. So now you know me okay?" he introduced. Jungkook... Hmm... At least he's nice. Unlike the rest of the guys. I nodded awkwardly in response and resumed eating my breakfast. It wasn't until long before my mother announced that all of us will be late for school. And the bad thing about that is I didn't even get to finish my soup. 

 

I let out a disappointing sigh and stood up. Watching everyone leave with their stomachs filled with what I could've eaten, I felt my self-esteem go down. I grabbed my backpack and walked out the door last. My stomach grumbled like a monster's rumbling growl, catching everyone's attention. It hasn't even been five minutes since we walked out of the house and now already my stomach decides to sing its award winning opera.

 

No one asked what it was. Instead some let out a chuckle and some a scoff. So rude. Very mean. 

 

The boy whom I bumped to along the stairs walked next to me casually with his hands behind his neck, whistling to a tune that immediately echoed in my head. Repeating itself over and over again. Mistake number four (?)- use headphones.

 

Nevertheless I continued to walk. And then my stomach growled again. I decided not to curse because my parents told me not to. Even though I had and wanted to curse when occasion calls for it, unfortunately, it's as if my tongue is glued permanently to my gums and I can't curse whatsoever. And it's annoying. I noticed that everyone still looked but then continued to walk.

 

We were almost to the school gates when I stopped at my tracks. My stomach then began to hurt really bad. I clenched onto my tummy, trying my hardest not to kneel down on the ground due to its immense pain. Instead, I walked towards a wall and leaned my shoulder against it to rest for a bit. Taking a quick check on my watch for the time, I noticed that I had five minutes until the gate closes.

 

I remember my parents saying that the first day at Seoul International is very crucial. Missing the morning ceremony would result a week's detention after school. Just remembering those words caused my stomach to churn and hurt even more. I hissed in pain. Until a shadow appeared in front of me. I raised my head up to look at the person. It was one of the boys who had dyed hair. He had slightly light brown hair and a pair of bored looking eyes.

 

The boy bent down slightly with his hands on his pockets to take a closer look at me. He let out a scoff and soon ped his jacket, handing it over to me. In addition to that, he also gave me a sandwich in a ziplock. It looked like his lunch but his face didn't seem to mind at all. I took both of them with a confused expression. After giving me those things, the boy just stood there, waiting for me to move.

 

"Hurry up. We're going to be late for the ceremony," he said, nudging his chin towards the jacket. What on earth does he want me to do with it exactly?

 

"Why are you giving me this jacket?" The boy continued to look at me and smirked. He walked closer to me, causing my heart to pound faster and faster each step he took. I thought I was going to die! He leaned his head sideways near mine, which almost stopped my heart from spreading blood throughout my body. Was he going to kiss me?!

 

I braced myself for the worse and shutted my eyes tightly, not wanting to open them again. But... Then I heard a laugh.

 

I opened my eyes quickly and noticed he was farther away from where he was. "I won't do anything to you, stupid. Calm down." He let out another laugh and nudged his chin towards my waist. I looked down to find the jacket wrapped around. Huh?

 

"What's up with the jacket exactly?" I asked once more. With his amused expression, the boy whispered out the words no girl should ever hear from a guy. Never ever. Ever. Ever. 

 

"You were on your period, dummy."

 

* * * * * * * * * * 

 

Hello my fellow readers & writers of AFF. How was the first chapter? Was it boring? Was it nice easy going? Or was it rushed? I don't know. You decide! Comment on below what your thoughts are because, as usual and goes the same to authors out there, the comments give us strength to write. I guess it's one of the many ways to show support!

 

I realized it was a bit long, the chapter. Some of the paragraphs are choppy but that's the thing. I don't want to bore you guys out with such long paragraphs that are so straightforward! So I guess I think this could work. Anyways, thank you so much for reading the first chapter. Got any ideas how to start the next chapter? Comment!

 

Don't forget to upvote if liked and fan! ARMY fans, newbie ARMY fans (like me hahaha), and curious readers, thank you so much for reading! And look forward to second chapter!

 

xoxo bulgogiyumyum16