Nana's POV

 

He slammed my bedroom's door and I glared at him.

 

"WHAT THE ARE YOU DOING WITH HIM!?" he yelled. "I WAS ONLY HELPING HIM! HE NEEDED HELP! HE WAS DRUNK! WASTED!! EVEN THE BARTENDER DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO TO HIM!!! AND I WAS ON HIS SPEED DIAL!"

 

 He scoffed, "you know... I always thought that you couldn't act or lie... but I was wrong... you are so damn good about it..." "what do you mean by that?" "You told me that you are busy at the moment... and when I asked you where you were, you told me that you were on your way home"

 

"I WAS!!" "THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THAT YOU WERE WITH HONGBIN!?" "WHAT? YOU WANT ME TO SAY 'OH HEY RAVI, I AM WITH MY EX WHO WAS APPEREANTLY YOUR BEST FRIEND' YOU HAVEN'T EVEN INTRODUCED ME TO YOUR FRIENDS!!!! WERE YOU SO ASHAMED OF ME!?"

 

Ravi looked at me in disbelieve, "I'm tired of this... we're over... have fun with my best friend..."

 

I froze up, did I hear him right?

 

The sound of the front door slamming woke me up and the next thing I know, I was on the floor-crying my heart out.

 

I heard my bedroom door's opened and Hongbin came out, "Nana... are you okay?" He asked. I smiled forcefully at him, "mhm, yes... go back to sleep Hongbin... you're not in a good state..."

 

But instead of obeying me, he sat next to me on the floor and hugged me, "I know you better than anyone... just cry okay? Let it all out..."

 

Then I spent the whole night crying on Hongbin's chest while he hold me tight.

 

*The Next Morning*

 

I woke up on my bed which confused me, I thought I slept on the couch last night. I went out of my bedroom and saw Hongbin sleeping on the couch.

 

I smiled softly at the sight. I went over him and pokr his arms, "Hongbin? Wake up... it's 10 am already..." he slowly stirred but he didn't budge.

 

I pouted and poke him again, "wake uuuuuuuuup" he the slowly opened his eyes, "what????" He slurred.

 

"You need to wake up" I replied. He just nod and yawned while rubbing his eyes. Suddenly he pat my head while looking at me, "are you feeling okay?" He ask.

 

I couls only smile awkwardly and nod, "mhm..." he scoffed and stood up, "come on... let's get something to eat... usually food cheers you up" he said while grinning.

 

I groaned but I just obeyed him.

 

*skip to the cafe*

 

We sat down and ordered some food for us.

 

"So, how'd things go with Ravi?" He ask. I could only smile bitterly, "I don't wanna talk about it..." I mumbled. He sighed and tap my head lightly, "yah idiot... don't you think that you need to confront him?"

 

I pout and shook my head, "I don't wanna..."

 

He chuckled and ruffled my hair, "you're like a kid you know?" I could only smiled slightly at his comment.

 

"Hongbin... can I ask you something?" "Shoot" he answered. I took a deep breath before I start talking again, "did he ever talked about me before? You live in the same apartment as his right?" Hongbin took a moment to think.

 

"Yeah I live with him... no, he only said that he has a girlfriend... he said that around... I don't know, 5 months ago or so?" "And since when do you live with him?" "Around 4 years I guess?"

 

'So he has been keeping me a secret for 3 years...'

 

"Have you ever been into our apartment?" He ask. I looked at him confusedly, "no... why?" "I've seen a girl got out from our apartment 3 times since around 3 months ago. When I ask him who it was, he said that it's his girlfriend..."

 

Then it strike me hard and deep... he has been cheating on me.

 

I could only put a bitter smile. Hongbin held my hand and pat it lightly, "you're a strong girl... and he's a jerk... just forget about him okay?" I forced a smile, "I'll try..."

 

We ate together like nothing's wrong, he pulled me up when I slumped down.

 

After we ate, he accompany me back to my apartment. But as we were on our way, we saw Ravi... With another girl... Holding hands...

 

"..........…...Ravi.....?" His name slipped through my lips and a small smirk appeared on his face, "I knew something was happening between you two..." He chuckled lowly.

 

The girl clung onto his arms, "yah oppa... Who is she?" Ravi smirked while looking at me. I felt my heartbeat fastened as he opened his lips.

 

"She... Used to be my stress relief... Nothing but a booty call" he said and chuckled.

 

My chest tightened, I can't take a breath. Tears start to brim in my eyes, I felt like I was collapsing.

 

Hongbin took a hold on my body and he help me back on my feet.

 

I could hear Hongbin mumbled, "Ravi you ..." Then he helped me walk back to my apartment.

 

He sat me down on the sofa. I could only stare down at the floor with tears spilling freely from my eyes.

 

Hongbin was helping me taking off my shoes.

 

"Is... Is that what I am?" I cracked. Hongbin looked up at me with a questioning look. I finally found the gut to look at him, "am I just a trash in his eyes?"

 

He suddenly hugged me, "no you're not... He' s a douchebag for calling you that... Don't listen to him..." I burst out into more tears and he buried my face on his shoulder.

 

I spent an hour and a half weeping as he tried to comfort me. He slipped me in my bed and I just lay there-pretty much drained, exhausted... Broken.

 

"I'll call Jaehwan and Hakyeon to accompany you okay?" I could only reply with a nod.

 

And soon he left.

 

I close my eyes and I fell asleep.

 

Hongbin's POV

 

"Hyung... Can you accompany Nana for the night?" "Why?" "Something happened... And I need you and Jaehwan hyung to be her to keep an eye on her... And if Ravi showed up..." "Ravi? What did that did this time? You know, because of that guy I was being scolded everywhere..." "please just do it and I promise I'll explain everything later..." "okay" "okay, bye"

 

I ended the call and I walk back to my apartment.

 

I walk in the apartment and saw Ravi shirtless with only his pants on, that is it was ed.

 

I saw his room was slightly opened and I took a peek, and I saw whoever that is laying under the covers of Ravi's bed.

 

He suddenly tapped my shoulder, "back already?" He asked.

 

I scoffed and shrugged his arms away.

 

He laughed maniacly, "why? I thought we are brothers~" "the correct word is 'were'..." I answered him.

 

I went into my room and sat down on the bed. I ruffled my hair in frustration. I took my photo album that I kept under my bed.

 

As I open each pages, I went down to a memory lane and I started smiling at the pictures-our pictures.

 

Her soft and gentle smile, her cute face she made when she's frustrated... God... I just can't stop loving her...

 

And I still remember what she told me when we met after 2 years of having a break...

 

*flashback*

 

We met in a cafe.

 

At first I was shocked, but what shocked me the most is that she suddenly hugged me.

 

"Hongbin oh my gosh!!" She squealed.

 

At first, I felt butterflies in my stomach when I saw how happy she is.

 

But it all suddenly crashed down...

 

"Hongbin... I'm sorry to tell you this but... I've got a new boyfriend..." Her words stabbed me right in my heart.

 

She reach out to my hand and put hers on top of mine, "Hongbin... I still want us to be close... Friends... Can we?"

 

I looked at her and I saw her pleading eyes. Well... I can't say no to that... "Okay... There will be no awkward moments or stuff..." I said and she grinned.

 

*back to present*

 

I put the album on my bed and took out my luggage.

 

I strated stuffing my luggage with my clothes.

 

While I was stuffing my clothes, Ravi came in, "where are you going?" He asked. I smirked and zip up my luggage, "away from you"

 

He scoffed at my answer, "what? Just because I broke up with her now you think you're her guardian again?". I glared at him, "no, you've caused me so much trouble all these years and yet you don't know how to say 'thank you' or stuff. Instead, you always say that I always interfere in your business. Well guess what? I'M FCKING DONE WITH YOU AND YOUR STUPID "

 

 He chuckled lowly, "fine bro, but once you step out of this apartment, there's no way you could come back" he said.

 

I faked a loud laugh, "don't worry about that 'bro', I won't bother to come back. Heck, I won't even think of coming back" I spat on his face.

 

I pull my luggage and bags out of the room and I took my car keys. "Dude, what the heck!? You're taking our car!?" Ravi yelled.

 

I looked at him weirdly, "'our' car? Last time I check, I was the only one who paid for the tax, bills and everything for this car, which means it's MY car" I said while emphasizing the word 'my'.

 

I slam the front door and pushed the button on the elevator.

 

I put my things inside the car and drove away.

 

I checked the time and it has been an hour and a half since I was at Nana's apartment

 

Ravi's POV

 

God... what am I doing?

 

This isn't right... I shouldn't be doing this... what the fck is wrong with me?

 

 I  went to my room and took off the blanket that... uhh...whoever her name is wearing, "Hey!! What the fck!?" "You, out, now" I sternly said.

 

She then scoff, "as if, I'll leave when I get my sleep"

 

"Leave now or I'll whip you out myself" I threat. She groaned but she oblige, she put on the rest of her clothes and she walked out.

 

 After she's gone, I sat on my bed while looking at the pictures of me and Nana that's still on the wall and the frame on my table.

 

Soon I broke down in tears after realizing what I did.

 

I can't live without her... but I can't ask for her forgiveness... I've messed up big...

 

I decided that it's best for me to just drink my sorrow away.

 

Wearing my button-up, I went out to a club near her apartment.

 

Nana's POV

 

"Yeah, she's been sleeping..." "well, now that she's sleeping can ypu explain to us what's happening between her and Ravi?" "Let's go to the cafe across the street..."

 

They were talking about me... are they making fun of me? I can't tell anymore... I'm going crazy...

 

Hearing the front door shut, I jump out from my bed and walk around my room where pictures of me and Ravi hung on the wall and on the frames on the table.

 

Tears start b again as my already-swollen eyes tried to blink the tears away.

 

I grip on the hem of my sweater.

 

I went out of my room, only to be greeted by the darkness. I went to the kitchen and took a bottle of alcohol and drink it up.

 

On my 3rd bottle, tears suddenly spilled as I was now sitting on the kitchen floor, weeping at my pathetic life.

 

I screamed loudly and smash the bottle that I was holding to the floor.

 

Sobbing more, I stood up and took a rather large and sharp knife from the counter.

 

Not bother about the glass shards that's pricking my foot, I walked through to the living room, making bloody footprints along the way.

 

Sitting on my white fluffy rug, blood start staining the soft beautiful rug.

 

Folding the sleeves of my sweater, I start cutting and slicing through my left arm as fresh blood start dripping down to the white rug-staining it even more.

 

It was painful, but I was too numb to care.

 

Suddenly, the front door opened and in comes Hongbin with a frightened expression.

 

The moonlight shone at my figure.

 

Not bothering to look at Hongbin, I continue to slice my arm.

 

Hongbin ran to me and snatch the knife away before I could make more scar.

 

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?" he yelled. Numbness is all I'm feeling as I no longer feel the urge to reply him.

 

He hugged me, "I'm sorry... I'll get you cleaned up soon ok? I'll clean the kitchen first..." he said.

 

He proceed to clean the kitchen as I could only look at the balcony with my head on the sofa behind me.

 

"I'll get the first aid kit and water for you okay?" He said.

 

Then he walk to the bathroom.

 

As I keep looking at the balcony, feeling the agony of living, I decided that I want to fly.

 

Walking to my room, I took out a note that I made for Ravi.

 

Walking to the balcony, I could feel the breeze and starting to tear up again.

 

Standing on the railing, I open the letter once again, and re-read the whole note as tears start staining the paper.

 

"Sorry, the water took a long time to he- NANA!!!!" Hongbin screamed as he saw me on the railing. He threw the basin to the floor, not caring about the puddle he made.

 

He stood frozen on the frame of the door.

 

I looked up from the note that I'm holding with a smile, "Hongbin..."

 

"What the hell? Come on... it's dangerous there, you could fall! This is the 7th floor for God's sake and it-" "Hongbin..."

 

That shut him up instantly.

 

"The day we met again after our break, it brought warmness into me, seeing you again... it's like a miracle... don't break your friendship with Ravi because of me... I love you Hongbin... I love you and I still do... and Ravi too... he taught me that the world isn't cruel... but I guess he was lying to himself..."

 

"Nana..."

 

"Hongbin, what I'm holding now is a letter to Ravi... I'm going to hold it as I soar up in the sky... but when my wings evaporate, I want you to give it to Ravi... I've made onw for you too... it's in my room..."

 

"No... no, please no... you're gonna give the letter to Ravi yourself you hear me!? Me and Ravi will be bestfriends again! I promise, just... please... don't do this..."

 

Then, the front door opened and  in come N and Ken, "hey dude what took you so- OH MY GOSH NANA WHAT THE HECK!?!?" N yelled as he ran to the balcony.

 

"I'm gonna be free... N, Ken.... thanks for looking after me... take care of Hongbin and Ravi ok?"

 

"No... don't say that!! You're gonna stay with us you hear me!?" Ken yelled.

 

"I love you all... now, I'm going to be free and let my wings take me to a better tomorrow..." and with a single tear dropping to the floor, I heard them scream my name as I felt air gushing and time slowing down. Memories start to play like a movie.

 

Then suddenly I felt my whole body hit the hard stone path of the street.

 

My vision were black, I can't see anything but I heard Ravi's voice calling my name. In my short breaths as I struggle to speak I whispered

 

After saying that, I can't hear anything anymore. I let death took me away.

 

Ravi's POV

 

Trying to drown my sorrow in alcohol, I found myself regretting even more.

 

I decided to just ask for her forgiveness.

 

Paying for my drinks, I stood up and walked out of the club and to the pathway to her apartment.

 

Walking with my head down, trying to form a speech for her. Without me knowing, I was 3 meters away from the front door of her apartment's lobby. But I suddenly heard someone screamed her name.

 

Then, a body fell right in front of me.

 

 I dropped down on the sideway as I realized who it is. She hand me a piece of paper, but as soon as I gripped on the paper, her hand fell as her last breath was exhaled.

 

"N-no... no, please... WAKE UP!! WAKE UP BABY!!! DON'T PLAY AROUND!! PLEASE... OH GOD" I sobbed hard as the ambulance siren rang loudly and soon they took her away.

 

I tried to follow her but I was being held back by 3 peoples and when I look up, Hongbin, Ken, and N was holding me.

 

I looked at N, hoping that he'll tell me that this is just a prank... a bad prank that someone did to scare me. But with a shook of his head, I slumped down as my hands found its way to where her body lie just a few minutes ago, drowning my palms in her blood.

 

I cried even more as the other 3 soon joined me in our sorrow.

 

*funeral*

 

Her body is now burried under the ground.

 

I looked at her picture on her tombstone and I silently cried again for God knows how many times this week. 

 

"You wanna go back now?" Honbin asked. "You go first, I need some time alone..." I replied. Hongbin strode out by himself to join N and Ken and went home with them.

 

Kneeling next to her grave really hurts as I now imagine the girl I love is now sleeping peacefully.

 

I suddenly remembered the letter she made for me. I took it out from my pocket and read it slowly.

 

              ' Dear Ravi,

        I'm sorry that I've been unfaithful and I should've told you about Hongbin and I shouldn't have accuse you of being ashamed of me... I'm a bad girlfriend...

 

         I love you Ravi, I do and I will always do... I don't know your feelings for me now but I'm gonna pretend that you love me too...

 

         Live a long abd happy life ok? You deserve better and the best... all those memories we made will be burried with me... I never regret a single thing when I'm with you...

 

I love you Ravi... don't forget me...

The one who once was yours,

Nana'

 

My sobs grew louder and with that, I made a vow to never forget her and to cherish the moments we've made.

 

~the end~