Good gracious, the wifi here absolutely . 

"Hey, Liz! What is his name on Facebook? ...Why are we not already friends?"  

It's late. Especially considering you have to get up with the sun tomorrow to host another fun-filled day of summer camp. 

But, then again, isn't this what camp entails? Staying up too late because you will only be here for one week, but totally regretting it the next day just to repeat it the next night? Besides, you and your bunkmate, Elizabeth, hardly ever run out of things to talk about... like cute boys. 

"Oh! I found him! ... and we weren't already friends. That's weird. I could have sworn we already were." Hesitation... Why!? It's not like I'm doing anything worth being nervous for! I mean, we are friends... 

This is how you calm yourself down. You are just friending him, it's not like you're flirting or anything. Granted he is the most attractive person at camp. You've always said so. The past four years of coming to this camp, you've voted him as most attractive. It still surprises you when not all of the young female counselors agree with you. How could one not fall into like with his adorable square shaped face and squinty chocolate eyes. He was taller than most Asian men, and it was also easy to appreciate his sense of style, those shirts accented his nicely toned figure. But you must admit... his hair is one of your favorite things. It looks so silky, laying softly across his forehand. 

I would totally pet his hair... *one new notification* "....oh my gosh. "Liz! He's already accepted me!" What is he doing up so late? 

Not that you doubted he would accept you. It just never occurred to you that he would act so soon. Not that you were complaining...

Wait, what? "...He wrote on my wall!!" Deep breaths. Don't freak out. 

 > Hello my friend! ^@^ 

Innocent enough. "I'm freaking out. What should I say??" 

Just... be friendly. You can't read into this. You chose not to read into this, that's how hearts get broken. You've watched enough rom-coms and dramas to know this. Just like how you're choosing not to read into what happened in the pool the previous nights. I mean, splashing each other and him holding you captive is what friends do. ...right? Pranking him with shaving cream was a normal camp activity. You didn't take part in that just so you could smear the white fluff onto his bare, wonderfully toned six-pack. That would be inappropriate. 

>> Hello, my new Facebook friend!

oh god. That is so lame... I am ashamed. 

> why don't you go to sleep?? its late

>> I am asleep. Why are you not asleep?? It's late

Sassy... will he understand that? Hopefully it won't get lost in translation.

> yes. i wana sleep right now

> have a nice dream guy!!!

Oh~ how adorable is his broken English?!

>> Goodnight! Sleep well and sweet dreams! 

Good, play it safe. 

> thanks you!! see you tomorrow.........

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What am I doing?? ...I think I'm going to be sick. Pull yourself together. It's for the children. They'll love it, no one will care if you're a bit off key. 

These wonderful children that you are sacrificing for all come from difficult backgrounds. And let's be honest, when you live in a thrid-world country that's not so uncommon. But the 86 children at this camp, oh my, they are you favorite part of the year. You're yearly visit never comes soon enough, and always ends too quickly. Missing them during the school year is a part of you, and has been for the past four years. 

The group of young boys putting on their cute performance before you begins walking off the stage.  

Oh, god. I'm next. Lord, please don't let me faint, or barf, or... or oh, god. 

You try to keep your hands from shaking. How did you even end up in this situation? This is literally your biggest fear. Telling them you were going to sing at the closing ceremony was supposed to be a joke! Yet, here you are, standing on the tacky green stage with a bloody microphone in your hand and a hundred pairs of eyes eagerly staring at you. Everyone at camp attends this event. Everyone. Not only that but because your "new Facebook friend" is one of the eldest children (he's 20) he has been put in charge. He's the bad, bad man that handed you the microphone. Did I happen to mention he's a music major? Well, yeah. He can sing and play the piano like a professional, and dabbles in guitar playing. Usually y, but in this circumstance, completely nerve-wrecking. 

Luckily you have enough confidence to fake it until you make it. The music starts and you've picked a song that you 100% know all the lyrics to: When I Look at You, by Miley Cyrus. You got this! The music is so loud they can't even hear me over Miley. 

Miraculously, you pull it off. They loved it! You were even able to throw a bit of soul movements into the performance. You climb off the stage and try not to make obvious eye contact with him. Fail. He's looking right at you with a blinding smile on his face. "I know~ I see you!" he says through a laugh. You can only manage a smile, because you honestly have no clue what he's talking about.  

You get called "singer" for the remainder of camp. Suddenly, it clicks: he was talking about knowing that you were lip syncing. Haha! This is all too humorous to you. Do some people think that was you actually singing?? How brilliant. This makes for a good story to go home with. 

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The last day of camp is always an emotional one. The people you're about to leave for a year are not just fellow campers or friends. They are you family. You call them your brothers and sisters, and the last thing you want to do is say goodbye.

That's what you end up doing all morning. 

After breakfast, you walk down the valley of death hand-in-hand with one of your sisters. Then the gates of hell, in the form of open bus doors, come into view and a silent sob racks your body. You are not lost in your own world, the pain of everyone else can be felt around you. Hugs come with hesitation, because that is a symbol of the end. No one is ready to accept that. You are not ready for that. A whole another year! And there is no guarantee that you will get to come back next year. This could be the last time you ever... No. No, you will come back. You have that feeling. You've fallen in love. With a country, with a culture, with a people. How can you not come back? 

These comforting promises loose their impact on the young children, as they have been spoken by many before you in the heat of sadness only to be broken next year. 

It is time. 

The hugging begins. The children file onto the bus. God, you hate busses. You stand alongside and look into the windows, their tear stained faces matching your own. You force a smile because they want to see you be happy, but it is impossible. You have little control over your emotions when your hand meets that of Lam through the glass. Her smile literally is contagious. She has the sun inside of her, and you are terrified that you will forget what she looks like and sounds like and how it feels to hug her over the course of the next year. 

Oh God, why have you called me to such pain? 

Everyone is sobbing. 

And then... then the bus begins to pull away. No, no please. Don't take my family away. I'm not ready, I'm not ready for this. 

You sink to the ground, reality pressing down onto your shoulders. 

For force composure onto yourself. The fact that you will get to see a select few again as you travel the country is comforting. Not only that but there are still boys still around. They haven't been forced to leave yet, including the man that makes your heart flutter. He's part of the group that you will get to see again. It's easier, for now at least. You just have to wait to say goodbye next week.  

 

 

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Author's Note: 

Well... here's to the beginnings! 

Let me know what you think! I'm always game for constructive criticism, that is, if you actually read it all! ^^