I don't know when this story began, but I know that It's going to end soon.

I go into the cold water of the bay, my feet are feeling the soggy sand, and the cold is making my skin crawl.

I stare at the cliff, where the waves break with force. I still don't know how I'll die, I could just let myself drown. I've heard that drowing is unpleasant and painful, altought it's surprisingly rapid.

I move forward in the water, the sun forces me to close my eyes a bit.

He's here beside me, just like the old times, when he my hair and slowly leaned his lips against mine. I open my eyes and I only see the sea that is calling me, inviting me to go on.

I keep moving forward, now I'm completely immersed and instinctively I start moving my arms and my legs in order to float. That's fun: I'm trying to float when the only thing I want to do is drowning.

So, I start thinking with fear that maybe I won't be able to put an end to my life.

But then Kyungsoo comes back and I am with him, in my room. We're looking for a destination for our holiday. We're dreaming about exotic places, desert islands where we can live alone, only me and him.

I swim toward the open sea, slowly, then I stop and I turn on my back. I remember that ,when I was little, my mom was proud of me every time I swam for her.

I close my eyes again.

The smell of biscuits is filling my room, my mom is making them just for us; then I heard her moving in the kitchen, with her noisy slippers.

I start swim again, it's hard, but I make an effort to go on. Then I stop, I look around and I think it's the right time.

I stop moving, and slowly I'm drowning.

The sounds are muffled, I see a moray eating a small fish. The memory of the painful past comes back arrogantly.

My mum opens the door, she greets someone, then I hear footsteps; someone is walking up the stairs that lead to my room.

"Hi! C'mon, come in, and give us an advice... we're looking for a place to spend our holidays... of love!" Kyungsoo laughs while saying those words, and Chanyeol, his best friend, looks at me with mischievous eyes.

Chanyeol comes closer, he has a stange smirk; he's hiding something behing his back. And then, horror.

A big knife appears in Chanyeol's hands,and he hits Kyungsoo once, twice, and then again and again.

I hear my screams, my voice; I see Kyungsoo's blood on the floor, on the wall, on my trousers.

I curl up in the corner of the room, my hands are on my ears because I don't want to hear anything. Then, Chanyeol comes closer and hugs me, he rocks me back and forth, then he says: "It's all over now, you're mine. I always wanted you but he was between us... do you understand? I had to do that... and I know that you wanted me to do that too."

Suddently, the police enters the room, I'm still curling up in the corner, and I feel Chanyeol's hot breathe on my neck; they grab him, but he doesn't hold out, and they leave the room with him.

My mom, worried, takes me to the bathroom, she undresses me, she washes the blood on my body under the shower; then she takes me in her room, and she lays with me in her bed, she hugs me and she holds me tight. And my dad does the same thing. I'm between them, protected by their arms, and in that warmth I close my eyes and I fall asleep, already aware that I won't be able to live without Kyungsoo.

I'm drowning.

I can't hold my breathe anymore, so I open my mouth and I inhale a lot of water.

I'm dying. Panic attacks me, while my lungs are filling up with water. But after a while I feel calm.

It's over... soon I'll be with him again.

******

Jongin dies in a short time. His body will be found on the rocks the newt morning by some kids. The waves on the rocks ruined his perfect body, but is face is intact. His happy expression, despite his horrible death, will be the only thing that people will remember about him.