It took quite a few days for Baekhyun to reveal more than his name. 

And Kyungsoo already knew that much…

Every moment after their initial meeting had been spent playing a tedious game of cat and mouse that started when Baekhyun yelled and Kyungsoo snapped. The boy had made it clear early on that he bore no trust towards the psychologist, but even then Baekhyun never revealed just how determined he was to drive the man away.

 

The day immediately after they’d met, Kyungsoo had returned with the same punctuality.  He’d barely taken so much as one step into the room before a pillow came hurling into his face.

“You actually came back?” the boy shrieked, feeling behind himself for another piece of fluffy ammunition.

Kyungsoo sighed, toeing the deflated cushion aside before heading towards the bed. 

“I don’t recall Jongin mentioning you were suffering from amnesia. Had I known you’d forget our schedule so soon, I’d have written it down.”

At this, a startling tinge of pink mapped fingers against Baekhyun’s cheeks and a fury lit behind his eyes like a roman candle.  “Just shut up and get the out! I already told you I don’t need this.”

When Baekhyun’s still-searching hand happened upon a gift shop vase on the dresser beside him, Kyungsoo knew it was best to retreat.

“Alright then, I guess we’ll be calling it a day.”  He heel with a huff, tightening the clutch on his briefcase with every step. “Expect me back tomorrow.  We’ll extend the session to make up for lost time.”

A shatter of glass against the door was Kyungsoo’s only farewell.

 

Unsurprisingly, the day after had been no better. 

To Kyungsoo’s relief, he’d been able to set foot in the room without a bombardment of pillows or glassware coming for his life.  However, the atmosphere felt not much lighter. The boy was predictably wide-awake, as if he’d expected the psychologist to come but still opted to show his distaste when he did.

“Leave...the ...now,” Baekhyun breathed, gripping the sheets as if he planned to spring from them at any moment to claw at the newcomer.

Kyungsoo couldn’t find it in himself to even feign caution, what with the potential threat lacking about a foot in his height and clearly bedridden.  Instead, he merely stationed himself at the chair beside the cot, locking eyes with the other as he sat down.

“You and I both know I can’t do that,” he began, leaning forward on his elbows to better gauge the boy for his reactions. “I don’t understand… You seem to want me to leave so badly, but you know what you have to do in order to get me out of your hair, right?”

Baekhyun snorted and rolled his eyes so hard that for a moment he almost looked possessed.  “You want me to roll over and obey you like some dog… And you know what? I might as well be. You seem to wanna treat me like a lab animal, but that’s not gonna happen.”

Silence followed, shaken only by the occasional ruffle of Baekhyun’s sheets as he shifted.  Kyungsoo thought on the boy’s words, all the while never lifting his dark gaze from the boy’s defiant one.  It seemed his patient was revealing more about himself than he realized… Byun Baekhyun was clearly afraid. The psychologist had a sneaking suspicion that the boy had a penchant for control, but it wasn’t until that moment that he witnessed just how deeply it ran.

“Dog, you say?” Kyungsoo gained no small amount of satisfaction as he watched the boy startle at his words.  “Have you ever heard of Pavlov’s hound? It’s a term for a silly, little home-based experiment that revolutionized the psychological world and introduced it to the art of respondent conditioning.” He stood to his feet then to pace, as he often did when his train of thought was marking its trail.

“It’s a marvelous discovery, but I’ll shorten it for time’s sake… Basically, the mind is prone to have a conditioned response to a stimulus that it’s been exposed to, even if the response isn’t normally one that would happen… It only occurs because the subject has been conditioned to it. So do you see where I’m getting at?” He turned then, facing Baekhyun with a purpose. “I come in here every day… If you at least pretend to like it- force a smile and answer my questions- you could easily come to truly enjoy our sessions.”

Taking their conversation down that road was a long-shot, and Kyungsoo was aware of that.  He was also aware of how contentious the boy was, so he wasn’t at all surprised at Baekhyun’s response.

“So then if I shove a catheter up your every time you visit, would that mean you’ll eventually get the point or would you come to enjoy that too?” the brunette bit out with a sardonic smirk that held in it every intention he threatened Kyungsoo with.

There it was again- the tenacity that seemed to cling to the boy as his signature aroma.  But there was something else there too… Something else entirely that stirred a pause in Kyungsoo’s actions.

The fists that gripped the bed sheets were ashen at the knuckles, all the more emphasizing the azure veins that split beneath them.  From behind tightly-pressed lips, Kyungsoo could see Baekhyun’s jaw work to clamp his teeth or perhaps to merely bite down his next words.  But it was the darkness swirling behind those slanted eyes that gave the child away.

No irritation or sardonic prodding this time.  There was only anger.

Kyungsoo bent to retrieve his briefcase, yet to be opened to provide any service for him since their encounter. 

“I guess we’ll have to see tomorrow.  I’ll be tacking on another half hour to our next session. Let’s try to at least make it that far.” He took his leave then, not missing the heavy groan that unfurled behind him and blanketed the air in displeasure.

He’d also taken note of the visible dent that decorated the wall near the door.

 

Unfortunately, the next couple of days had progressed with little to no interaction between the two.  During the third session, Baekhyun had to be excused for EEG testing and their time was cut short.  The fourth day began and ended when Kyungsoo walked in, gracing the room with his gloomily skeptical presence, only to be rushed back out by a wild-haired nurse whose ears reminded him of butterfly wings.

“Sorry, sir, but we’re getting ready to perform his somatosensory evoked potentials.  Just want to make sure his brain stem’s getting signals correctly,” the nurse slid himself before a small computer, hooking the wiring up to a machine in the corner.  “It won’t take too long, but you’ll have to wait outsi-”

“Don’t bother… I was just taking my leave anyway.” Kyungsoo heel, avoiding the nurse’s questioning gaze.

But as he left, the psychologist was surprised to find that the look Baekhyun had been donning wasn’t one of smug satisfaction. It seemed that the boy appeared almost lost.

 

The fifth day was perhaps the day that Kyungsoo noticed the initial change. Up until then he had nothing to truly show for himself, nothing to scrawl into his dog-eared notepad or to provide a bit of insight into the boy’s mind.  Almost a week into it and they were still at the baseline, rounding back at square one and making a home there. But this day- the fifth day of their sessions- marked a drastic turn of events.

That day, Baekhyun’s spasms appeared.

To say it had begun like any other day was perhaps an understatement to them but a jest to anyone on the outside who wasn’t aware of their routine.  Kyungsoo arrived, greeted Baekhyun- only to be met with a tasteless remark- and proceeded to continue with their session.  But the patient seemed immune to Kyungsoo’s warning looks and rather deaf to his words.  Perhaps that was why he’d interrupted Kyungsoo’s lecture once more to deliver a cutting remark.

“I could have you thrown out, you know…”

Those words were enough to halt Kyungsoo’s tongue, and his naturally-wide eyes stared back at the other, signaling him to continue. And that was all Baekhyun needed.

“I overheard Kai talking about it to Chanyeol. The only reason you’re here is by request from him… You’re not even supposed to be practicing outside of your clinic, much less on a minor.” Baekhyun had him then… Kyungsoo knew it all the more by the delicate twitch of the boy’s smirk.

“All I have to do is tell someone with more authority than Kai and you’d have hell-”

“That’s enough!” Kyungsoo was on his feet before his mind could take ahold of the situation. He reared himself inward, trying to maintain the nonchalant mask he’d upheld years before he’d even met this kid… But there were too many cracks in it now. The fissures were large enough that even a boy like Baekhyun could see right through them.

“Your threat is completely void if I’m no longer here. I already told you that every second I spend in this wasted place is to get Jongin off of my back!”

He was ranting… He needed to stop, needed to reclaim control of the situation as the adult and only one in the room with legal obligation. But Kyungsoo’s mouth wasn’t having that.

“If you think I’d honestly remain in the presence of a foul-mouthed, cheeky brat just to reap the sows of my mistakes, clearly there’s more wrong with your brain than we’d guessed.” Baekhyun hadn’t graced him with a response just yet, but by then Kyungsoo was too far-gone to care. The boy had spent days poking at every available inch of his tolerance, and it seemed that he’d finally found a pressure point.

“I’m not even doing this for payment! You should know that immediately after our ‘sessions’, I have a clinic of my own to run- a clinic filled with adults who uphold themselves with more dignity than you’ve probably seen in the short span of your life.”

Kyungsoo immediately began gathering his things, pausing to spare a heated glare at the boy before taking his final leave. “Adults who need me far more than someone like… You…” He paused, brows knitting together in confusion as the glance he’d cast towards the boy extended in observation.

Baekhyun was trembling, almost seizing. Violent tremors quaked the delicate body, jerking him as if something vile threatened to tear from beneath his skin.

Kyungsoo wasted no time, materializing by the boy’s side and reaching out, only to have his hand batted away by Baekhyun’s quivering one.

“N-No… Don’t…touch me,” he managed past twin rows of clenched teeth. “Don’t ing touch me!”

Kyungsoo practically demolished the nurse call button, pounding his pale finger into the device at the beat of hummingbird wings. Almost immediately, the slamming of a door against the wall was heard, and the elf-eared nurse from earlier rushed to Baekhyun’s side.

He began ridding the boy of his blankets, revealing to Kyungsoo’s stunned eyes just how painfully scrawny his body was. Every pillow and sheet was shoved off of the bed and it seemed like the nurse was taking particular care not to make contact with Baekhyun.

“Just don’t touch him,” the man said, eyeing his patient with practiced weariness that could only be gained from having witnessed this a thousand times over. “We need to clear everything near him. Anything that so much as rubs against his skin is considered ‘painful’.”

Kyungsoo nodded, and began to tear the blankets further off the bed when Baekhyun leaped from the cot. In an instant, the boy was curling into himself on the tiled floor, his tremors slowly beginning to recede. Kyungsoo gaped.

“What the hell?”

“The floor is cold… I think it soothes him,” the nurse shrugged, “Like an icepack.”

The psychologist made no effort to acknowledge he’d heard the man… Instead, Kyungsoo merely stared in a frightening mix of horror and awe as Baekhyun’s body grew still. He remained on the floor, his breaths evening out into steady surges against his chest.

“I’m sorry…”

The voice was so faint, so wispy that it barely managed to graze against Kyungsoo’s ears, yet the resounding echo it left behind was of a magnitude he couldn’t ignore. 

“I’m so sorry…” Baekhyun murmured once more before the nurse knelt down to gently scoop him up. He barely had to tilt his head up at Kyungsoo before the other was on the floor with him, lifting the boy and delivering him back to the bed. Though, he highly doubted the nurse truly needed his help. The boy was just so light… It was if his bones were hollow, the skeletal outline of a robin used to string up the body of a young boy.

The nurse began to drape him in blankets, stopping only to ask Baekhyun if he was alright or comfortable. Whatever his exact words were, Kyungsoo couldn’t really hear him at that point. This… So this was what Jongin had been talking about.

“I’ll need you to step out with me for a second.”

Kyungsoo almost jolted at the voice, sparing the nurse a nod as he followed him out into the hall. But he didn’t make it out the door before glancing once more at the boy in the hospital bed. Baekhyun was swathed in the dawning light streaming from the window, illuminating the opacity of his skin. In such a peaceful form he appeared almost angelic…

And yet, just moments before it almost seemed as if he'd been exorcising out demon.

“What happened before I came in, huh?” The nurse jumped right to the point, shutting the door once they both took their leave. “What caused it this time?”

Suddenly, Kyungsoo was stricken with embarrassment at the thought of revealing to this man that he’d lost his temper. “I was… We were in the middle of a session when he began to have a fit.”

“I see…” The nurse- Park Chanyeol, according to his badge- crossed his arms in a way that suddenly had the psychologist on guard. “So do these ‘sessions’ normally involve substantial amounts of yelling?”

Crap… He had him there. Chanyeol only shrugged, seeming to dismiss the enormity of his case altogether as he continued.

“I mean, I get it… Really. The kid can be irritating, but at the end of the day he’s a patient,” he jabbed a finger back in the direction of Baekhyun’s door. “A patient who seems to be going through some messed up and could really use your help.”

And there it was- Kyungsoo’s mistake. He’d lost it, absolutely blew the wiring of his mind to pieces by yelling at a client. Regardless of doing it for free or the fact that the boy was underage, he’d taken it upon himself to help him. The safety and stability of Byun Baekhyun was his responsibility.

Chanyeol stepped forward to move past a frozen Kyungsoo, but the psychologist stopped him with a hand to his forearm.

“Wait…” he managed, pressing a bit more sincerity into his words now that he knew what he was up against. “Jongin… Do you know where I can find Kim Jongin?”

At this, an amused glint flickered in the nurse’s bright eyes. If there was one thing Kyungsoo could definitely say about this man, it was that he seemed to be far too chipper for this early in the morning. Or any hour, for that matter…

“Oh, you mean our resident model slash pediatric brain-whiz?” he chuckled. Kyungsoo raised an eyebrow, a bit too shaken to humor him. “He should be with a patient at the moment… I believe he’s on the second floor- the Intensive Care Unit.”

Kyungsoo nodded absently, scanning the area down the hall and immediately spotting a tiny, white sign that signaled a nearby elevator. “What room?”

At this, the nurse smirked, stepping away from him and easing his towards the front desk, but not before responding with: “I’m not at liberty to disclose that.”

With a frustrated sigh, Kyungsoo dragged himself away from Baekhyun’s door to follow the sign that steered him vaguely toward the elevator. He needed to speak to Jongin. This wasn’t what he’d signed up for and he wouldn’t have if he’d known the extent to the boy’s suffering. Baekhyun didn’t need someone like him- someone cold and callous and demanding. He didn’t need someone who could analyze his pain and tear into it with logic and probability.  He needed someone who could completely destroy it slowly from the depths in which it began.

At last, Kyungsoo discovered the elevator tucked away in a desolate corner.  And as he prompted it to him to the second floor, he shivered, recalling the darkness in Baekhyun’s eyes when his spasm had ended. There was no fire behind them, none of that vengeful passion that seared its way into Kyungsoo’s meticulously-planned schedule. Instead those molten chocolate orbs now stood to rival the cool hardness of soil- empty save for the promises of burying away everything beneath it.

But even then, Kyungsoo couldn’t find it in himself to truly believe the death in those eyes. After all, he seemed so urgent with his apologies.  Except something about Baekhyun's words seemed off…

The elevator ‘dinged’ before the doors slid open to reveal to him the ICU, but Kyungsoo almost missed his signal to get off.

 

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry.”

 

Baekhyun hadn’t been talking to him... Baekhyun hadn't been talking to either of them.

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