On high school days, everyone must have thought about having a lover and that also happened to me. When my friends asked me, “Are you still single? Do you have someone special?” I would smile and answered, “I am single and I am happy about it.” I lied. I am actually a good liar which made my friends don’t know a single thing about my love-life.

But to be frank, I have someone I like, someone that I care for, but there is one problem; he is my best friend. His name is Lee Ho Won, his got this nickname Hoya. We have befriended since we were young, we used to be inseparable, but ever since both of us got into senior high school, he had made this distance with me which made me feel like he is far beyond my reach.

I hoped my love-life would be like a movie, where the unexpected things could happen, where the impossible things could happen. I guessed I am probably a fool to be in love with my own best friend. “Eunji ah... Come on, you have to come with me, or else we will miss it!”

Boo Mi suddenly showed up out of nowhere and without my permission she just grasped my arm and dragged me away from my seat. “Wait!”

She dragged me went through the school’s hallway, the teacher’s office and finally to the school’s entrance. I was pissed off and I burst out my anger towards her, “Boo Mi ah... Where on the world are you taking me?”

“Here!” She delightfully pointed to a tent where there is a board written down: Free Fortune-telling for students only for TODAY!!

I sighed. “You are taking me to a fortune-telling? I don’t believe such things, it is only a trick, come on let’s get back to the class.”

“Oh, come on Eunji,” Boo Mi grasped my arm as I wanted to go, “just think of accompanying me to go.” She dragged me into the tent.

There I saw the decorating inside the tent was like a gypsy house, it was all covered by red curtains, there was a magic lamp like the one Aladdin had, and some treasure boxes around the tent and others, in the middle of the tent sat a woman wearing like an Indian dress with red veil covering her face, she had that crystal ball on the table in front of her.

“Come, come,” she said as if she had known our arrival; I couldn’t believe Boo Mi actually love things like this. Boo Mi hurriedly sat down and I followed her, I don’t even remember how she could have an insisting friend like her. “Ah, two young lovely girls appeared right before me, what can I do for you?”

Boo Mi exaggeratedly pouted out the things that she wanted ask; from her love-life, her career and everything. The woman smiled as she said to Boo Mi, “What an ambitious young lady we have here...” She later asked Boo Mi to pick out a card from arrangement cards that she had on her table. After she picked one, she told Boo Mi some things that I couldn’t understand any of them, however Boo Mi seemed to understand in a weird way.

“Alright,” I said and got up after seeing Boo Mi had enough with that fortune telling, “So, can I go now? Because I think my legs are going to be numb if I sit longer.”

“Wait a minute, young lady,” the woman said, “You seemed to have some things troubling you, come and sit if you want to seek the future that awaits you, I can tell you.”

Boo Mi again grasped my arm and dragged me to sit down, she whispered into my ear, “Eunji ah... there is no harm to try, just for incase.”

It’s all for Boo Mi, for Boo Mi. I picked a card on her table and let her read it. “Oh, a lover card, I could see you and him had a fate since you are born,” I was shocked to hear what she said, then she continued, “on the day you see a falling star, you will see who he is and by then...” she gave me a necklace, a cheap necklace that you could find in the market, “wear this to make your bond stronger.”

“Thanks but I don’t need that, it is my life and I handle it myself without your necklace,” This time, I forced myself to get out from the tent first, leaving Boo Mi alone.

I finally could breathe, inside the tent was so suffocating me. Then Boo Mi came out, she hugged me, “Eunji ah...”

“What is it, my sweetie?” She always acted that way if she had something that she wants.

“Please accept the necklace.”

“And why would I do that?”

“Just for incase? Nevertheless just accept this!” she took my hand and put the necklace on my palm and ran away while yelling, “Park Eunji! Wear it or I won't lent you my new DVDs!"

"What? Boo Mi, stop right there!" I ended up chasing Boo Mi. The necklace was on my grip before I realized it. To be frank, I wanted to believe that the necklace could remain the bond I had with Hoya and so I wore it while believing that what that woman said was true.

On my way home, I still thought about what that woman had said to me. Really? Could I found the love of my life when I saw a falling star? My eyes rolled to the bus that had arrived in front of me, the same old bus I took every day for going to school and going home. After lining up, I finally got into the bus. Not long after I went up, I felt a presence that I had known for a long time and so I turned around and see who it was. "Oh, Eunji, what a coincidence!"

It was Hoya that I loved secretly with my whole heart. I was startled to see him at the bus, he usually rode his bicycle to school and go home, however he didn't. Did the necklace actually work? I acted like usual and said, "You know I always take the bus."

Hoya hurriedly put his arm around me as we walked inside the bus. The distance between me and him was closer than ever and it made my heart beat fast. "Hey, don't be mad, Eunji."

"Ya, don't 'Eunji' me," I took his hand off me, "you have been ignoring me since you had your gang."

"That's why I am going to repay my mistakes to you."

"What do you mean by that?"

"By letting you sit at the last empty seat on the bus." After he had said that, I just realized that he was right, there was only left one seat inside the bus. I tried to be cool and acted as I didn't care, "You are supposed to let me sit because I am a girl."

I sat down and I could hear him chuckled while he was standing by my side. "You think a man like me will see you as a girl? Eunji-hyung?"

"Don't let me throw my fists on you."

"Oh... I am scared, spare me Eunji-hyung."

That attitude of his that made me annoyed all the time. I almost thought that my one-sided love wouldn't be known by him because he had never seen me as a girl, but as his brother. But I still had some hopes for him, there will be a day where he sees me as a girl and loved me as much as I am. I let my hopes went up too high again, I mustn't do that, or my heart will hurt badly if he rejected me.

"Eunji, we had arrived," said Hoya through into her ears. When I turned to face him, our faces were closer as if we are going to share a kiss. I could feel my face blushed and so, I looked away. Hoya then said, "Well... Uhm... Let's go."

I nodded my head.

We both walked from the bus stop to our neighborhood. It is true that we live not far from each other's house; even our parents had known each other. I felt awkward to be alone with him, besides it had been a long time since we walk together like this.

"Eunji ah..." Hoya suddenly started a conversation with me before I went to my house, "from tomorrow on, don't take bus, just ride on my bicycle."

I thought I was daydreaming when he said that but it wasn't. He really asked me to ride on his bicycle, at first I tried to reject his offer because I was afraid that I might fall to him more. However, he convinced me by saying girls are not safe walking home alone especially on evenings, something bad might happen. "I thought you say that I am not a girl."

Hoya turned away from my sight. "Just wait me and I'll pick you up tomorrow at seven, don't be late!" Then he walked away. I didn't want myself to misunderstand what he mean, he was only being nice to me and there was nothing special about it. I went inside my house with a feeling of a bit of happiness and a bit of worrisome.

Was it because of the necklace? Will it really made our bond stronger?

 

The next day, I found Hoya had already waited for me in front of my house as soon as I got out, after he greeted my parents, we went off to school. I didn’t know that his back has become this wide? When we were still children,  Hoya used to let ride on his bicycle and we would get into the mud together (because he always hit on stones or anything that made us fell together), I missed those old times where we spent our time together without these feelings that I had for him.

"We arrived." When he stopped, I went down and said, "Thanks."

He reminded me, "Eunji, I'll wait you here after school."

I just walked though I felt happy for a small moment like that; I hoped that I would last forever. I really meant it.

* * *

Boo Mi kept nagging me about why Hoya let me rode her to school, she asked whether I was his girlfriend or not. I kept avoiding her question by talking other topics but she was only distracted for a while.

On the school’s hallway, Boo Mi and I unexpectedly saw Hoya and his gangs who were walking right to our way. As I had expected, Boo Mi’s reaction was: “It’s Hoya, Eunji, I will go and ask if you don’t want to tell about it.”

“Hey, Boo Mi...” she just ran to them while ignoring me, but then, it was only then, I saw a girl who came out from their class and put her hand around his shoulders, if I wasn’t mistaken that girl was Bae Suji, the most popular girl in school. As Boo Mi saw Hoya and Suji were together, she moved backwards and hugged my arm. “Eunji, I am sorry, I was mistaken, but they seemed good to be together.”

“Yeah, they do.” I didn’t know why I replied like that. My heart was obviously hurt because of this. When we walked passed through them, it felt like I was in a movie and was made to walk in slow motion, it hurt me so much and I thought I could faint because of the pain he caused me but I didn’t. I kept walking forward and forward, I tried so hard to not let my tears fell from my eyes.

I just didn’t know why the day seemed to end so fast that I couldn’t realize that it was the time to go to our own house. I remembered the promise I had made with Hoya, I was unsure whether I still wanted to go with him or not. Finally, I decided to go to where he had parked his bicycle, only just to see whether he was waiting for me or not.

As I had expected, Hoya didn’t keep his promise, I didn’t see his bicycle or he, himself, waiting as what he had promised me earlier.

Maybe, he was busy with Suzy, until he forgot about his promise.

I was disappointed and if my heart could bleed, it will be bleeding by then. As I was about to leave, I heard someone yelling at my name. I was surprised to see Hoya panting as he approached me. “Eunji... I’m sorry, I’m late...”

My tears fell. I didn’t know the reason why and I just cried without hesistation.

“Eunji ah... What’s wrong?”

I wiped my wet eyes and replied him, “No, I’m fine...”

“Don’t lie to me, I know you better than anyone.”

I couldn’t hold myself. “Don’t act like you know me, you know nothing about me...”

“Eunji ah..” He called me, “I’m sorry, if I did anything wrong.”

“It isn’t you who did wrong, it is me, I did a terrible mistake and I hoped you forgive me.” What in the world am I saying, I took a deep breathe, I was ready, though I knew the moment wasn’t right but I still would like to hear his answer, “I love you, Hoya, I had always have, I don’t know when... but my heart started to beat when you are around and I am scared of losing you, I get jealous and hurt when you hang out with other girls.”

I wished to hear his answer, a yes or a no; it didn’t matter to me anymore. What made me more surprise was his reaction; he hugged me instead. “Ya, you, stupid girl, don’t you know my heart, too?”

What? I don’t get it. What did he mean?

“I love you before you even love me, I had never seen you as a brother, and I have always seen you as a girl, even when we were still in elementary, you always helped others who need you, even you are not smart or you are not strong enough to help them.”

I pushed him away. “How about that girl, Bae Suji?”

“Suji? She is just a friend of mine, she is nothing than just an ordinary friend, it’s you the one I love Eunji,” he embraced me in his arms, “the reason why I made a distance with you ever since we went into senior high school was I wanted you to see me as an independent man, I tried to have improvement in my studies to make you impressed with me.”

“You don’t need to do that, but you hurt me instead.”

He hugged me as I heard him say, “I’m sorry, I love you,” for numerous time. Then he bent his body and his lips were nearer and nearer to mine, “I am going to kiss you, close your eyes.”

I closed my eyes. I felt his lips were on mine and it felt soft and warm at the same time. It was a moment that will be forever remembered by both of us, where when our identities changed from friends into best friends, and best friends become lovers.

I ever heard that when lovers kissed, they became more intimate to each other as if a kiss was the seal of their love and that moment was our seal. Hoya had the same feelings with me. Our feelings are mutual.

I later said to him. “You know, I even thought that the necklace I wore was the reason you suddenly showed up on the bus that evening.”

“Really? I thought you didn’t believe those things.”

“I guess, I really don’t believe in it.”

We smiled and laughed with each other with our hands linked to each other.

 

We both have fallen for each other and we were just too shy and too stupid to admit that to each other.

We hurt each other but we still love each other, no one understands us more than we understand each other as we understand ourselves.

This is not an ending but it is only our beginning.