As the sun fell down on the horizon and the moon started to peek on the sky I came down to the realization that yes, life is indeed unfair.

My life when I was a kid was nothing but happiness. I was always complete with everything that I want. From the things that I want up until to the persons I love, from my family to my friends. When I was a kid I always felt love, contentment and happiness, I never felt that I was alone but never did I thought that when I grow up I would also feel emptiness, hardships, heartbreaks and the worst of all is loneliness.

It is his funeral today and I was prohibited to come. My parents didn’t give me the right to be there, they said I would just be the center of attraction and it would be a shame and disrespect for him. For them I would just ruin the peaceful funeral that he should have. But it is my beloved brother’s funeral, how come I am prohibited? Why can’t they just let me see him for the last time?

The rays of the sun blinded my eyes as I tried to hide behind this tree. I was wearing a black dress, black shoes and a black scarf that is wrapped on my shoulders. I was witnessing a ceremony that should have not happened this early. There was a black furnished coffin in the middle which is surrounded by many people. There is also a priest who was guiding the ceremony. I took a look at the people clearly and found my mother weeping beside my father who was supporting her by holding her shoulders. Even if the sun shines high at the sky it can’t take away the winter breeze atmosphere on my brother’s funeral. Everyone was wearing a sad face, some are weeping and some are staring blankly at the coffin. My vision suddenly got blur, I guess it’s because of the tears that are forming on my eyes. Why did it have to end like this? Why did it end up someone dying? Why can’t we just be together? Oh wait I remember, we are siblings. We can’t, we never can. Yes, it is a shame to know that I love my brother more than I should but still I was happy and proud with the fact that he loves me back as much as I do. Yet, this is still wrong.

Our love is forbidden, our love is wrong, our love is a shame but still I don’t mind those things, I intended to forget my pride, my dignity, my everything just for this love of us. Now I believe, yes love is indeed blind. It is so blind that I even forgot the fact that the person I loved was my brother in blood and in flesh. Oh God, why does it have to be us? We suffered a lot with this love we have. We fought a battlefield even if we are sword less, even if we are weak enough to lose. We still fought even if we are wounded, we thought it would be heroic and surely God will pity us and let us live happily ever after. But I was wrong, God didn’t pity us, happily ever after are just for fairytales. And we are living in reality, in a world which hates us with what we had.

I knew this was wrong from the start, I knew it was a sin to love someone who is your brother but why did I let happen? I guess love is really uncontrollable. My brother had a lot of characteristics a girl would ever want; he is patient, kind, loving, caring, and supportive, a gentleman and understanding. At first as his younger sister, I didn’t mistake his actions for me. I never gave meaning to the gestures he does, from how he support me to how he protect me from other guys. I always thought he does those kinds of things because he is my brother and I am his little sister. Never did I thought there was a hidden meaning behind those actions, I always thought he loves me as his sister but I was wrong, he loves me more than a sister.

Since we are kids, we always got each other’s back. Whenever someone tries to bully me or scare me, he is always there to protect him. Whenever he is lonely, I was always there to make him happy. And because of those things we grew closer to each other. When we were kids, we consider each other as best friends forever. Every minute that passes that we are together I can’t deny the fact that I started to love him more than I should but I knew it was wrong that’s why I decided to hide my feelings for him. I tried to act that I like somebody else even though the truth was it was only him. When we were kids I knew I like him but because I was just a little child on that time, I didn’t mind those emotions that I felt. But when middle school and high school came, that was the time I got a really difficult time on controlling this emotions.

When we were in middle school everything changed, I got taller, thinner, I got bumps on my chest and I got my monthly period while him he got taller than usual, he had a lower voice and of course he got more time with his friends. To be honest, I was pretty jealous on that time. I always thought I was his first priority but then I always try to understand the fact I was just his little sister. He has no obligations to me, then why would I expect? I tried to focus on my studies and lessons, not minding him. We were like that throughout the whole middle school but when high school came, things get more complicated than I thought.

I was 17 and he was 19 on that time, he had a girlfriend and I had many suitors in line. Well I think it’s normal to get attracted to other persons, and I did get attracted to someone. On that time I liked someone; I told it to him first and not to my best friends hoping he would even feel a little jealousy in his heart. But it more complicated than I thought, he didn’t just simply got jealous… he got mad at me. So mad that he even courted someone and made it his girlfriend. Actually it hurted me a lot, but I didn’t show it instead I faced him with a warm congratulation. I acted that I was happy with his love life and I was happy with my crush but the truth it felt like my heart was crushed into pieces. Then one day I decided to move on and live my life but why is fate like this? When the moment comes when you’re ready to forget a person then suddenly they would just say those words you want to hear from the start.

I still remember clearly the time he confessed to me.

“Seohyun…” I heard someone called my name. I tilt up my head and found my brother in front of me. He wears a half smile on his lips with nervous eyes. I wonder what’s up with him.

“Yes?” I asked calmly while I flash a sweet smile of mine.

“Ugh…” He stuttered in front of me. It’s obvious he has a problem. My sweet smile suddenly turned into a worried pout and eyes. I look at him straight in the eyes.

“Kyuhyun, do you need something or does our principal want you to call mom and dad?” I look at him with a suspicious eyes, he suddenly shook his head and wave his hand at me.

“Then what is it?” I asked.

“Ugh… Seohyun, can we… can we ta-talk...?” He paused for a second and looked around. I just simply look at him puzzled. “…privately?”

“Aren’t we talking already? And isn’t this a private place since it’s only the two of us here well… except for the librarian and the teacher there?” I pointed out silently to the teacher who was busy on reading a book. He suddenly looks around and sat across the table; in front of me.

“Seohyun…” He called out my name again. What the heck is his problem?

“You know what Kyuhyun, you look so tense that it even cracks me up inside on why the heck are you acting like that. What the heck is your pr—“

“Seohyun I love you.” He straightforwardly said to my face with a serious face. Wait he loves me? Obviously, I’m her sister

.

“Kyu…” I stare at him blankly; suddenly I felt confusion in my part. Is he trying to say he loves me as a sister or more worst than that?

“Do you love me too Seohyun?” He asked me whispering, with a soft voice and serious face. I can see hope in his eyes. Oh God, why is he acting like this?

“Come on!” I laugh silently. “Of course I love you…” I smiled. “You’re my brother remember and I’m your little sister.” I giggled and flip the page of the book I was reading. There was silence for a second when he suddenly spoke up in a different manner.

“I don’t mean like that Seohyun.”  Boom. He was serious, dead serious. It was obvious in his tone of voice; he never let me hear that voice of his. Suddenly I felt like shaking, obviously nervous on what he said, nervous on how to react with what he said.

“What I mean is… I love you more than a sister Seohyun.” My heart, it was throbbing fast. It has an unusual beat, what is the meaning of this? I continue to stare at the book like I didn’t hear anything. But I was shocked, mentally, physically and emotionally shock. Why would he suddenly confess to me when I’m already ready to forget him?

There were many emotions that are floating in my mind. Should I be angry, be nervous, be scared or be anxious? I don’t know but one thing is for sure, I felt an unknown happiness here in my heart.

I felt the wind blew my hair as the ceremony on my brother’s funeral continues. The summer breeze blew as I felt cold and alone in my place; the wind was different from this time. Before I always felt the warmth and enjoyed it but now it felt like a winter cold breeze that sank on my skin. It made me shivered and felt emptiness. Before, even if it was winter I always found someone who can make me warm and it’s him, only him.

I continue to stand behind the tree even my legs started to weaken. I was almost standing there for an hour but I didn’t mind my legs knowing my heart is aching more than it. And also knowing he suffered a lot more than I do right now. Knowing the fact that my brother is now dead gave me the feeling of being guilty. I knew that it was wrong; I should have stopped it from the start. I should have sacrificed my happiness in order for the safetiness of the both of us.  But all of that are ‘I should have, what done is done.  I should stand with it. This are the decisions I made, I should face the consequences. But how could I when one of my reasons to hold on is already gone? How could I when he’s not here anymore?

I tried to hold on before because I knew someone would always get my back, someone would always support me no matter what. Now he is gone, and I’m not a God to make him rise from the dead. I guess I’m back to zero again and the only question in my mind right now is how?

“Why?” Both of us were silent as we are kneeling on the floor. Unfortunately, the truth shall be revealed. They knew it, accidentally our parents caught us and we were guilty at the crime scene. Of course what do we expect? Our parents were bursting in anger on the two of us. I keep my head down, facing the ground. I can’t look at my parents neither to him. I can’t face all of them, why? I would just simply felt shame and guilt knowing it was wrong.

“Shame on the both of you…” My father’s voice was harder than a rock and colder than a winter breeze. It was obvious that he is angry, dead angry. I remained silent and so as my brother.

“How can the both of you stand doing those kind of things that siblings shouldn’t do?!” My father yelled at us. I gulped; I never saw my father threw such anger like this to us.

“You Seohyun, I believe that you are a very wise girl. Then how come you can do this kind of thing? What kind of girl are you? You are disgusting!”

“Dad! Don’t say that! She is not!” My brother suddenly protested and tried to defend me. But still my dad was right.

“Shut up Kyuhyun! I am not talking to you!” My dad shouted.

“Honey, relax. Calm down.” My mother said softly as she rubbed his back. “Your words, they are still our children.”

“I don’t have children who have a relationship more than it should. What kind of shame is that?” My dad said coldly as he looks at us. My mother silently looks at us with disappointed eyes. I also felt my brother looking at me, he must be worried with what I feel right now.

“Kyuhyun … Seohyun… Why does it have to be like this?” My mother asked us. “There are a lot of people out there right? Wh-why… your brother Seohyun? And you Kyuhyun … why her?” My mother pointed me out. To be honest I don’t know how to response on my mother’s question. Why does it have to be my brother?

“Kyuhyun, Seohyun from now on I prohibited the both of you to see each other neither even in the house nor in the school. If you try to violate what I said, I’m afraid I will put a harder punishment that you never thought I will give.” My dad said coldly as he stood up and left us. My mother followed him silently as they left us dumfounded with what he said. I was staring intently at the chair that was empty in front of me. Suddenly I felt disgusted with myself, with the thought that I loved my brother more than I should. But there’s a part of me that says I didn’t regret it, oh God… why am I feeling this way? Things are getting more confusing that I thought.

“Seohyun…” I heard a low soothing voice called out my name. Then I felt a warm feeling on my hands. I suddenly pushed his hand without any reason; I guess my body is moving against my commands.

I felt him jerk a little with the action I made but I guess my mind is floating this time, that I didn’t even care what would he feel if I try to reject his love. I stood up unknowingly and started to move my feet, then his warm hands held my wrist.

“Kyuhyun please… not right now…” I said with a feeble voice as I shove his hand and continue to walk. I guess I need more time to think, more time to realize how stable my feelings are. My mind is totally messed with the things in my head. Now I’m questioning myself, did I love him because I really do? Or I was seeking someone’s attention because I never had one when I was kid? Did I love him because he was there when our parents aren’t? Did I love him because it’s him who was always here? Or I was just option less that I picked him throughout the guys in this world.

My mind was muddling with the fact that maybe I just loved him because of the mere fact that I need someone and he was always there. Maybe my heart was forced to fall because on that time he was the only guy I saw. And I was locked up with a house only with him I guess I have no choice at all.

On that time, I was ready to give up. I was ready to surrender the armor I have. I was already accepting the fact that I need to raise up that white flag, but something about him makes me want to hold on tighter and have faith and hope to things I never thought I will have. I don’t know but I guess he corrupted the whole of me. When he looks at me, I melt, when he smiled at me my heart jumps and when he holds me it always feels like heaven. These things made it difficult for me to choose, should I fight or should I surrender. Oh God, which one is right? And which one is wrong.

My brain gives me options that if I choose to surrender this will be the things that may happen to me; I may be free but I will not be normal as I was before, I may walk and talk but still some things stops me, I may smile but still it was empty which leaves me with the option of fighting until the end. At least I’ve done my part right? But even did I fight; I still feel the guilt of choosing this path.

“Seohyun…” I heard someone call my name and it was a familiar one, a soothing low voice that shivers on my ears. I knew that voice and I will always know that voice. I wanted to turn my head and face him just like before but things are different this time around.

Control it Seohyun.A voice shouted at my head. I walk continuously like I didn’t heard anything. I need to start moving on before I fall to him more deeply than now.

“Seohyun… Please don’t act this way…” He said more of like pleading but I already closed my heart and walk like no one was speaking. Suddenly he pulled my wrist to stop me.

“Seohyun please…” He whispered.

“We are in a public place brother… be careful.” I said weakly as I pulled my hand from his grip. I didn’t face him instead I just remained standing on my place.

“Seohyun… talk to me… please?”

“We have nothing to talk about.” I replied rudely.

“Seohyun… please…” He pleaded like a child. “It hurts you know…”

“I don’t care if it hurts; you’re too old to take care of.” I said coldly and started to move my feet away from him.

“Don’t you love me anymore?” I suddenly froze on his words, unknowingly my feet started to move and there was a sharp pain that trigger my heart.

“It’s better to not.” I said heartlessly, unknowingly what he would felt if I said those rude words to him. But it’s for our sake; I need to do this even if I don’t want to. I continue walking and left him on his place standing there alone which I never want to do.

From that time I started to be cold to him and ignore him rudely. We never talk normal since that day, since that day when I decided to forget him and move on with my life. I tried to convince myself that my world doesn’t revolve around him even though the truth was it was only him. Since that day whenever we see each other I just act like I don’t know him or when he looks at me I simply look away knowing it might melt my heart and love him more. When he tries to talk to me I always walk out of the scene knowing I might feel my heart leaped with his angelic voice. But I can’t deny the fact that every time I ignore him it always tears up my heart inside.

But I guess without knowing my love for him was irrevocably. It was so strong that one day I came back to him.

“Your marrying that guy Seohyun, don’t worry he is a gentleman and responsible. I’m sure you and your kids would not have any problems at all.” I suddenly dropped my fork. I just heard my dad right? I am going to marry the person I just met a while ago. I was stunned knowing the fact that I’m marrying someone I don’t love.

“What do you mean dad?” Kyuhyun asked our father. It was obvious that he was jealous, his voice was cracking up. Our parents thought that our relationship is over; that we don’t love each other anymore. Well it’s been two months that we are not talking, who wouldn’t thought?

“Your sister is going to marry Minho; well he fits your sister. And don’t worry Seohyun, me and your mom and Minho’s parents will handle the wedding expenses. And I will make sure that it is memorable one.” My dad continuously said as I stared at my plate. My ears just exploded with what I heard.

I continue to freeze on my position; I can’t lift up my head knowing my brother is in front of me. But I know he already has his gaze on me.

“Seohyun… are you okay?” My mother’s soft voice asks me. I gulped, should I lie again?

“Ugh… I’m already finished, I’ll just go up. Excuse me.” I continuously said without looking at their faces. I rushed to my room and locked the door. Suddenly all of the weighs that I’ve been carrying for the past months shed out by the tears that continuously pouring out of my eyes. I bit my lip and hugged my knees. I cried silently hoping my parents would not hear me especially him. I thought everything would be back to normal, I thought it was already okay but why do they have to let me marry the guy whom I don’t love? I sniffed, I still love him, and my heart only beats for him. I can’t live without him; thinking about the future of me not having him scared me a lot.

After a few hours I lessen the tears that I shed. Unconsciously, I was thinking of a way escaping their plan. But how? I’m too weak to defend my own self. Suddenly I heard someone knock on my door. I quickly wiped my tears and arrange myself. It could be my mother, I don’t want to her to see me crying. I unlocked the door and opened it. Far from I expected it was my brother who is in front of me. I didn’t think he would be here today, especially when he started to avoiding me too.

“Ky-kyuhy—“He touched my lips with his fingers signaling me to be silent. I simply obey his command. His feet started to move forward while my feet moved in opposite direction. He pushed the door close and he locked it up. It was already 11:00 in the evening; I guess my parents are sleeping right now.

“Bro-brother…” I stuttered while he looks at me intently in the eyes. Oh God, it melts me.

“Did you cry?” He asked me softly. I suddenly lowered my head and rubbed my eyes, God I’ve been crying for hours! “Don’t try to hide it, your eyes looks red and puffy.” He added on. Suddenly I felt tears forming my eyes again. Geez, I don’t want him to see me crying.

“Seohyun…” He touched my face and titled it up.

“No.” I stopped him while sniffing, I was crying now. Then suddenly a pair of warm, soft arms hugged me.

“Shh… stop crying. Don’t worry, I’m here…” He said softly with a reassuring voice. I kept sniffing, I don’t know why but I suddenly felt safe and protected in his arms. It was the pair of arms I’ve been longing for months. God, I miss this feeling. Unknowingly, I hugged him back.

“I miss you Seohyunnie…” He whispered on my ears.

“I miss you too Kyuhyun …” I whispered back. He was softly caressing my hair with his hand. This made it more difficult than I thought.

“I’m gonna get married…” I said, snapping it back to reality.

“I know…” He replied. That’s it? Is it okay to him? Isn’t he going to do something? There was silence, silence that broke my heart. Isn’t he going to stop it? Is he really going to let it go? Let me go?

“Don’t worry…” He suddenly spoke up. I look up at him with a puzzled look.

“It will never happen…” He said to me with assuring eyes. He smiled lightly then he kissed my forehead. A smile curved on my lips.

“I’m never going to let you go… Till death do us part.” He said softly, and then he looks at me. He tilts up my head and his lips suddenly crushed mine. It felt like heaven, it felt like the whole world stopped. His soft lips curved mine; it stayed for seconds there which made me hope it would last forever. We did a sin, an unforgivable sin but I know God is kind. I hope He will forgive us.

Days passed by and we started a new, but this time we were more careful and vigilant. We kept it in control; our relationship was a top secret one. And I guess because of being madly in love, we were always in this hidden place, a hidden place which made us one, in a hidden place which we shouldn’t be from the start. Even still, we may be together but I’m still tied up to be married on this person which I truly don’t know. Which scared me that if the time comes that I’m required to marry him on the eyes of other people; will I be able to stand it forever?

I was still clueless on what would happen until the day before my nightmare starts; someone tries to change the path.

Meet me at the bus station three blocks away from our house. Let’s go away together, let’s escape all of this chaos before it starts. Be there at 11:00 pm, I’ll be waiting for you. I love you Seohyun...

PS. Forever starts later.

-Kyuhyun

I froze on my place. Did he really write this? Does he really mean this? I checked the clock and it was already 6:00 in the evening. We just finished eating, my mom told me that I need to sleep early so I could enjoy the day tomorrow. Oh yes, I will enjoy the day tomorrow, because tomorrow, it will be him and forever. I smiled with the thought that after all of the challenges and chaos I’ve been finally, we can be together. Just like how a girl dreams of his prince. Finally my dreams will come true, finally I we will happily ever after.

But I was wrong, happily ever after is for Cinderella and Rapunzel. It was only for princesses and I’m not one. I’m just a simple girl who lives in a painful reality that you cannot have all the things in this world even if you work for it, even if you fight for it. At that night, when I was about to escape from the hell I’ve been going through, someone suddenly left me in a glimpse. I was running to the bus station and I found him lying on the side of the street, lifeless. There was blood all over his body, he was murdered. I look at my watch and knew I was late; it was already 12:40. My dreams were over when I saw him there, on that lifeless position.

“Kyuhyun …”  I whispered his name as the ceremony ended. Everybody was already leaving the place. I tried my best to hide my face with the scarf I have and behind the tree. I pretended to be someone else. I waited for minutes until his graveyard was empty. I walked slowly, shaking towards to his grave. It’s been a week since the last time I saw him on that scene, the wedding that was supposed to be held on that day was postponed. Thank God, my parents decided to stop it but I’m not that thankful at all knowing He took the most important person to me. I look at his name curved on the piece of marble.

“Kyuhyun …” I whispered his name again. “Why did you leave me...? You said you will never going to let me go… but where are you now?” I wept, how can I move on with my life without him?

“You are so unfair…” I smiled; still there were tears that are still falling. “I’m sorry Nathan if I never said you these words… I love you too.”  I said bitterly with regret hoping I said those words earlier when he is still alive. But it was too late, I need to move on with the fact he is dead and he will never be with me just like what I dreamt of, of me and him having a happy life, together.

I took the road less traveled by and that has made all the differences and those differences are the things that I will suffer today. I choose this road and I need to face the fact that I was wrong; we are wrong. We had our love at the wrong time, wrong place and wrong world. This is the reality, and it was meant to be like this. It can never be. I walk emotionless towards the door of our house. I opened the door and found silence that made me feel like I am alone, forever alone. I went to my room, I was about to lie on my bed when I felt something from my stomach pulled up to my mouth. I covered my mouth and hurriedly run to the bathroom. I held my stomach and puke on the toilet bowl. I puke hardly and there was an unknown pain that I felt. After a few seconds it finally stopped. I washed my mouth with tap water when my ears went wide when I heard someone called my name.

“Seohyun…” I turned around and found my mother on the door of the bathroom looking at me with worried eyes.

“Mo-mom…” I stuttered. How am I supposed to explain this?

“What’s happening Seo…? Are you okay?” She asked me flawlessly with concern just like how a mother cares for her child… just like what I’m going to be right now.

“I-I’m…I’m sorry mom…” I said with trembling voice. There were already tears that form in my eyes. Oh God, please have mercy on me.

“What do you mean Seo?”  Her worried eyes turned into a puzzled one. How am I going to say those words? All my life my mother never gave nothing but happiness, love and care but I guess after this she’ll be disgusted with me.

I bet she will hate after this…

“Mom… I’m pregnant.”

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Thank you so much for reading! I hope you all like it. :) Well I hope you survived my long introduction and got along with the story. It's actually my first time to do a long one shot so I hope you all appreciate it. I'm not really good thought and it's not the best story I've done so I'm excusing myself for that. That's all! I'll upload my next one shot soon. ^^

I want to hear your comments! They are highly appreciated! I want to know what's you reaction about this fanfic. THANKS. :)

SEOKYU FIGHTING! ♥