He never tried to touch her.

The first time he laid his eyes on her, she looked so beautiful and pure—like an angel. Her eyes were clear, as if screaming innocence. And he couldn’t help but to stare at her each time. There were times when they would lounge around together, sitting within an arm reach. And he wished he could have just grabbed her hand and held it all day long.

But he didn’t.

The times when they were paired in a dancing performances, and he would volunteer to be her partner, he would savor those fleeting touches, as if they were sacred—as if they were his greatest treasure. He would remember how their skin grazed against each other, and the faint feeling of warmth radiated through her skin. She felt soft. Even in those small touches, she was so delicate. And Luhan thought if he forced it on her, she might break.

He remembered the jealousy whenever he saw another man touching her—holding her hands, and gentle kisses. But even with all those ministrations, she still seemed pure.

Luhan wasn’t a fool. He knew he was in love. And those conversations he had with her were probably the most heart-warming ones. He loved every bit of it. Her giggles and chuckles were like sun, radiating brightness into his life. He would feel contented, just by watching her infectious smile.

The day when Baekhyun revealed his relationship with Taeyeon, Luhan thought it was rather odd. They missed Kris. They all did. But never once Luhan thought the two would end up seeking each other’s comfort. It was probably because of the constant controversy in SNSD, or maybe because of the turmoil among EXO. When Seohyun sent her comforting gaze to him, Luhan almost reached out a hand to hug her. His hand reached out, but paused in the air just an inch away from her frail being.

Seohyun’s bright eyes looked up at him questioningly. And then Luhan retreated his hand back to his side.

“Thank you,” he ended up smiling back.

Luhan thought for a split second, Seohyun had a disappointed look. But he thought it would have been his imagination.

“You know you could have just confessed,” Sehun almost whacked his head but it ended up just a light tap.

“What do you mean?” he feigned ignorance.

“Seohyun,” Sehun said as if it was a normal conversation. “You like her. You’re too obvious.”

Luhan felt warmth creeping up his cheeks at the obvious statement. “Don’t be silly. Are you sure you’re not mistaking me with Kris?”

He saw how Sehun’s face contorted of something mix with pain, hurt and frustration. “I would never mistake you with that guy.”

Luhan noticed how his voice wavered, and how Sehun purposely tried to leave out any names, or nicknames of Kris. Sehun had always been the one hurt the most about the latter leaving. After all, he was the one who was emotionally attached to all of them.

“You better hurry, before it's too late,” Sehun added before letting his styler fix him.

Luhan somehow disregard his dongsaeng’s advice. Seohyun wasn’t someone who would jump on any man. If she was, she would have dated someone already. Her heart wasn't for display. For that particular female, there was no such thing as 'too late'.

He was still feeling self conscious about touching her. And at one point, he had given up on trying already.

Until the fated day came.

Luhan could still remember how his heart sank and broke into pieces when he heard the news. His manager looked glum when he conveyed the message.

Seohyun and another two crews of SM Entertainment got into an accident. And they all died at the scene. No one would have guessed how it happened. She was still the bright Seohyun they know the day before. Talking and dancing with her sisters on show. She still appeared in an interview commenting about the blooming culture of hallyu stars dating lately. It was almost as if everything was a dream.

There were a lot of people giving speeches during the eulogy, even Kris attended the funeral. Luhan wasn’t sure how long the eulogy lasted. He couldn’t even raise his head. All he remembered was when people had stood to approach her coffin for the last goodbye. And Sehun had to drag him up.

She looked so clean under the coffin covered with a clear glass. Her fair skin seemed paler than usual. Yet she looked so peaceful, despite the accident. It was as if she was sleeping.

Luhan felt his eyes stinging with tears. Those lips won’t curve him a smile anymore. And this moment would probably be the last time he would ever see her. Those scorching desire and longing stare seemed to last forever, until his hand decided to reach out to cup her face—only to meet the surface of a very cold glass. It felt so cold, just as cold as his heart at the moment.

A lone tear escaped down his cheek. He wanted to hug her so bad, kiss her beautiful eyes and comfort her with his touches. He never thought he would ever regret the time he had lost. And how painful it was to lose her before he even start.

He remembered Sehun's advise. You better hurry, before it's too late...

It wasn't late because of another guy. He was late because he didn't even start. He didn't even listen to Sehun. He never thought time would snatch her this way.

He never tried to touch her.

And now, even when he tried—he couldn’t.


The End.