I happily smiled, reached my hands out and held the little baby from my father, lightly embraced the delicate figure. He giggled and used both of her tiny hands to push my face away to avoid the tickling feeling when I kissed his chubby cheek.

“He is so beautiful.”

I mumbled, knowing the word ‘beautiful’ supposed to be for girls, but that was all I could exclaimed seeing the baby’s perfect face. I observed him while the other blinking his big eyes nonstop.

 Sehun, my prefect little brother. 

 

…

 

Unlike me, SeHun was born with a lot of expectations from my parents, everything was organized perfectly on his path, all Sehun needed to do is reach his hands out to be succeed. Sehun and I were very close to each other, close to the point he wanted to have everything I had. As a brother, of course I would agree with anything my little brother asked. I shared about everything in my life to him; from the little things such as toys that I got on my birthday, favorite clothes,.. everything. Even the same haircut.

I found it adorable because it showed that I had affected Sehun somehow.

 

 

As time passed, the affection was became something much harder for me to understand. I still shared my stuffs to my brother, but he didn’t. Sehun like to possessed things for himself.

I shared all my stories to my brother, but he didn’t. Sehun like to keep his stories for himself.

Sehun still wanted everything I had but he never let me to have it.    

 

People mistook me and him because the similarities between both of us; our hairstyle; our clothes.. Sehun was exactly the second version of me.

I’m sick of him.

 

…

 

I moved three days after my graduated. And then I met him, the first person that made me felt special; Kim JongIn- a famous ballerino. We randomly shared a rented house; we first became friends then lovers.

He loved me and nothing could break our love.

Life was pretty better when you have your love beside; the one that you knew would not let someone replace you, though they the same appearance.

 

…

 

Sehun came to England, suddenly appeared in front of my house on a rainy day without any call to inform me.

The boy decided that he wanted to learn something new, he graduated sooner than expected.

 

“Perhaps ballet?” he bit his lips, thinking.

“Great!” JongIn suddenly spoke, grabbed both mine and Sehun’s attention. “LuHan is learning ballet, too. You can practice with him.”

The blonde smiled again without noticing a slight frown on my face.

“Perfect.” SeHun gave JongIn a big smile.   

 

…

 

“You can stay here or there.” JongIn eagerly pointed at two doors on the left side of the kitchen.

“Me and LuHan only need one anyway.” He said in a lower voice but enough for me to hear. JongIn chuckled as he hugged the smaller figure to his chest when he saw me tried to hide my blushed face from my brother.

“If you need anything just call me.”

I smiled, pushed my boyfriend away.

“Thank you, hyungs.” SeHun bowed and walked in the room.

 

“Having a younger brother in our house is good.” JongIn pulled me closer. “I can prepare myself before becoming a father, right?”  

He raised an eye-brow, amused with those red shades which were more visible on my cheeks. Our conversation ended with a playfully hit on his shoulder.

 

“Maybe we will regret after.” I mumbled, and JongIn didn’t notice it.

 

…

 

On my boyfriend point of view, everything was going on fine; days passed with nothing to complain about. Normal, JongIn is the one whoeasily get stress from work and lately he seemed to relax himself a bit; JongIn said that he didn’t want the younger to see him as a grumble man.

I did convince myself to believe his words but I couldn’t help kept worrying. I noticed the way JongIn smiled brightly every time he saw my brother walked in the room; I noticed the way SeHun always glance at JongIn while he reads his newspaper or watching the TV; I noticed the way SeHun’s lips formed into small smiles when JongIn whipped the food on SeHun’s mouth.

I didn’t let myself miss a single thing.

 

…

 

“LuHan”

JongIn cheerfully called as he ran crossed the living room to hug the delicate figure who was standing on the kitchen. He embraced his strong arms around the waist, buried his face on the small shoulder as he sniffed the familiar smell with his eyes shut tiredly.

 

“What the heck are you doing?”

I asked, stood frozen at the on the door. My eyes widen at the scene. My heart tighten when I saw JongIn turned to look at me with his round eyes as he awkwardly let go of SeHun.

 

“LuHan” JongIn yelled when he saw me turned and left. I knew it was a mistake but my heart couldn’t take it, I felt like broken from the pain.

I thought JongIn could distinguish the different between us while the others, even my parents, couldn’t.  I was wrong.

 

…

 

I went home late that night.

The street was freezing so JongIn lingered his fingers with mine and told me to come closer in order not to catch a cold.

A strangely silent between both of us on the way home, I knew he wanted to explain but just didn’t know how to start.I still felt happy because at least JongIn decided to run after when I walked away.

I didn't angry at him, It just some familiar feeling appeared made me wanted to escape from SeHun again.

I scared that my brother would replace me.

 

...

 

He left a kiss on my lips before we walked in, and that how we usually made up.

 

“Hyung.”

SeHun called when he heard the door opened, he walked fast to the door but the boy suddenly stopped the moment he saw me.

“LuHan hyung..” he looked me with surprised eyes “You changed your hair color.”

 

I nodded. I changed my brown hair into dark black, at least with that one difference; JongIn could tell who is who.

It was past midnight so JongIn suggested that we should go to bed, my brother just lightly nodded and walked to his room.

 

I didn’t know what the feeling at that moment was, but I made my heart choked. I barely breathing the moment I looked at my brother’s face, his gaze was on JongIn, even though SeHun’s gaze didn’t linger long on the other, it showed enough affection to the other.

I saw the small smile that formed on his lips which he tried to hide from JongIn before he turned away. I knew what kind of that look.

Love.

 

 

“Maybe we will regret after.”

I remembered the sentence I said the day SeHun moved to our house.

Maybe JongIn not, but I regret it already.