Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depressive, Acceptance

The news came and left like a whirlwind.

Someone left. Lets not pinpoint names, but just someone, because I am unsure of how to address him anymore.

That day the news came; no one would explain anything to me. Everyone was fluttering in their own depression. Everyone was reflecting in their own actions, everyone was muddled in their own anger.

My questions were left unanswered,

“Why did he leave?”
And the manager chucked me aside, saying that nothing was confirmed yet.

“Where did he go?”
And the rest of the K members stayed silent.

“Where is he?”
And the rest of the M members that just flew in from China did not offered much response either.

I only remember being thrown into a dormitory filled with unhappiness.

Luhan was silent, yet he was fuming.
Minseok and Baekhyun were nonchalant, and yet still affected.
Jongdae was comforting himself with little words, yet he was not convinced.
Yixing and Joonmyeon were calm, and yet they were disappointed.
Chanyeol was trying to be understanding, yet I could see the pain of betrayal reflected in his eyes.
Kai was patiently waiting for anyone’s explanation, yet I could see the impatience growing within him.
Kyungsoo was appearing to be void of any feelings, and yet I could see his fear.

And then there is Tao, the only one whose actions reflected his emotional turmoil. He was hurting, and he was angry.

That night, we huddled in the living room, no one left for their room. And it was scary how suddenly everyone is painfully aware of his absence. And what was scarier was how everyone was even more acutely aware of the presence of everyone else.

It was like, the battle that if one leave for their room, it’s following suit to the first one who did not even return.

The next few days were awful. Everyone had moved on at their own pace. The Kübler-Ross model was true, and by day two, there were some at stage three, there were some stuck at stage four.

I saw Luhan trying to contacting him.
I thought I heard Suho and Minseok talking to the manager about bringing him back.
Kai danced to sad songs, Yixing was evidently shaken.
Kyungsoo and Jongdae moped around in the morning, while Chanyeol and Baekhyun tried discussing about the case on their own.

And there was Tao that was in stage two, his actions vocaliz