Mark inhales. He looks over the profile one last time; all the information needed is on there, his profile picture looks ok and his personal message doesn’t sound creepy. The mouse hovering over the save button is pressed. Mark exhales.

It had started out as a joke between him and his two friends Jinyoung and Jaebum. They joked about how, since Mark was too shy to approach anyone in real life, he should try a dating site. In the beginning he scoffed at them.

The second time they mentioned online dating they said that it really would make things easier for him, since he was only really shy when he hasn’t gotten to know people yet and talking to people on the Internet was easier. They pointed out that if someone got to know him like that first it would be easier for both of them once they met in real life.

Mark frowned at them but didn’t say anything.

While they were sitting in a bar, music too loud in Mark’s ears and smoke making his eyes tear, some guy tried flirting with Mark. In his own awkwardness he managed to make the guy burn himself on his own cigarette and spilled his drink all over him. Mark was embarrassed, his face turning almost the same shade as his hair, and talked his two friends into going home since the night could only get worse. On the way home Jaebum once again said that while it was a joke in the beginning he thinks online dating really might be the thing for him. Jinyoung nodded his agreement, his cheeks flushed from the alcohol he had consumed before.

            “Aren't only creeps and erts on dating sites? And people who are really, really desperate?” Mark asked, slightly shivering as the cold night air hit his still heated face. Jaebum draped an arm around him, his body heat immediately making him feel better.

            “Not if it’s a good and serious dating site, no.” Jaebum answered with a serious voice. From his other side he could feel Jinyoung grab him around the waist and cuddle into him.

            “Besides aren’t you really desperate Mark-ah?” The youngest boy added with a teasing smile. Mark didn’t find the energy to disagree.

In the end Mark decided to give it a try, he had nothing to lose after all, and to his surprise none of the people seemed weird or creepy. That opinion changed however, when in the first couple of minutes after he uploaded his profile four different people had already asked him if he wanted to meet them for something quick and without any responsibilities.

Mark had of course blocked them right away and called Jinyoung to complain. His friend promised he’d be over in a few minutes to be his mental support and told him not to give up yet. Mark listened to him, but decided to stay away from his laptop till Jinyoung arrived.

Fifteen minutes later Jinyoung let himself into his home and joined Mark on the living room floor’s soft carpet.

            “How bad is it? Any new messages.” Jinyoung asked, face serious but voice laced with amusement and Mark really felt like pouting in that moment.

            “I decided to wait for you before I check for any new messages.” Mark replied and rested his chin on Jinyoung’s shoulder.

The other immediately grabbed the mouse and refreshed the page. An icon with thirty-seven new messages popped up. Mark groaned and Jinyoung snorted.

            “Well no wonder people are ing on you when you post such a picture.” Jinyoung commented dryly and Mark frowned at his friend, a pout finally forming on his lips.

            “That’s just what my face looks like.” Jinyoung raised an eyebrow and gave him a disbelieving stare.

            “Really you have a constant pout to your face and your eyes are constantly widen as if you just saw something shocking?” Mark pulled his chin away from his friend’s shoulder and hugged his legs, resting his chin on his knees.

            “Just open the inbox Jinyoung-ah.” His friend nodded as if to say ‘See? I’m right.’ but did as he was told.

Mark decided to study the carped as Jinyoung went through his messages.

            “Well congratulations are in order I think.” Mark looked up to see what Jinyoung could mean and his eyes immediately went to the profile picture of a very handsome guy with dark hair and a charmingly playful smile. “Look here, this Jackson guy writes: Hi, I hope you won’t get scared away by the tons of inappropriate messages you’re most likely going to receive, I’m really sorry you have to go through that but with a face like that it can’t be avoided.” Jinyoung paused for a moment and turned to his red headed friend. “He’s definitely smart and I told you it’s the face.” Mark gave him a half-hearted glare and he turned back again. “I would like to get to know you better since it seems we have a lot in common, but instead of something quick and without responsibilities how about something slow with lots of responsibilities? If you want to we can exchange email addresses. Smiley face. He seems nice.”

Mark skimmed over the message and the guys picture again then laid his hand over Jinyoung’s and clicked on his profile. His eyes took in the information and he mumbled to himself.

            “Jackson Wang, one year younger, from Hong Kong, Olympic Medal in fencing, student, funny and playful, we like the same music and he read some of the books I love. He really seems nice.” Mark said softly but pulled his hand back from the mouse.

            “Do you want to massage him? He definitely seems like he could be dating material.” Jinyoung pointed out. Mark just shrugged, still looking at the picture.

            “What if he’s a mass murdering psychopath?” Mark asked causing Jinyoung to roll his eyes far enough to make you think they could get stuck in his head like that. “Aren’t the ones that seem really normal often the craziest ones?” Jinyoung nodded his head in mock agreement.

            “Oh yeah sure, instead of the cute and seemingly normal guy you should message the one who asked you if you would want to have dressed as a cow, he seems much less like psychopath material.” When Mark still didn’t say anything or even move Jinyoung tried another tactic. “Come on Mark-ah! You have nothing to lose by messaging him and if you want to meet him me and Jaebum can of course be there in case something happens, if you want.” Both boys were quiet for a moment; just staring at each other and even before Mark opened his mouth Jinyoung knew he had won.

            “Ok fine I suppose we could exchange emails that’s not such a huge thing.” Mark mumbled in defeat. Jinyoung smiled brightly and petted his friend’s head.

            “Atta boy. Now you write the message, I’m not gonna do it for you.” Mark sighed and leant forward, fingers resting on the keyboard. He glanced at Jackson’s picture again and started typing.

The next day when Mark was sitting in his lecture about 19^th century English Poetry his phone vibrated to notify him that he received a new email. In a second his fingers started shaking and his mouth was completely dry. A nervous anticipation settled in his stomach as the email loaded and opened.

As expected the addressor was a certain Jackson Wang and Mark couldn’t help the shy smile that spread across his face as he read the email.

            Hi! Wow, I can’t believe you actually answered! Much less that you’d give me your email address.

I’m actually sitting in a physics lecture right now (I know from my picture you’d never guess that I’m not stupid) and I only now saw your message and I had to answer right away.

So what are you up to at the moment?

To Mark it seems like words came easily to Jackson, like they’re some Lego pieces and he’s constructing them however he pleased. Mark was envious of that; he had always struggled with words, preferring to stay quiet and observe instead. Since he came to Korea years ago he found it even harder to talk with the added language barrier. It was a miracle how he managed to become friends with Jinyoung and Jaebum, but he suspected the other two boys pitied the confused looking boy who entered school two weeks after everyone else.

Mark took a long moment to carefully think about his reply then typed out a rather short answer, but added lots of emoticons to not seem rude. For a few days they exchanged emails back and forth, all very shallow and more like small talk, before Jackson asked if it’s ok to exchange phone numbers and added his number at the end of the email. That evening Mark didn’t answer him.

The next morning he felt brave enough to sent a good morning text. Jackson immediately answered; his playfulness and bright mood making Mark’s morning coffee taste sweeter. They texted each other for a few days but everything was rather impersonal and either about university, their friends or about the weather. When Mark tried asking Jackson something personal the other admitted that he wanted to them to keep the important and personal stuff to when they meet. Despite the shallowness of their texts, the messages were by no means boring as Jackson’s wit and lame puns managed to make him laugh and smile like an idiot for hours.

Yet at the promise of a personal meeting Mark became nervous. Jinyoung was already pushing him to ask Jackson for a date, but he just couldn’t bring himself to do it.

The eleventh day after they exchanged numbers he got a text around two in the afternoon asking if he had a bit of time later that afternoon. Before he could make up an excuse to not go Jinyoung had grabbed the phone and Jaebum his arms.

            “There, now you have a date today. Make sure to dress up nicely, Mark-ah.” Jinyoung said in a sing sang voice as he gave his phone back.

To say that Mark was nervous was an understatement. He was trembling with nerves, his hands icy cold despite the heat of the summer. Since he didn’t know what they would do he decided for casual wear, opting for simple jeans and a nice shirt and cardigan.

Ten minutes before they were supposed to meet Mark arrived at the small park close to his flat. His teeth worrying his bottom lip and fingers nervously digging into his wrist he stood there for exactly five seconds before Jackson appeared in front of him. The other was, as expected, all bright smiles and perfect teeth and a raspy voice and mischievous eyes to top it all of.

Mark was intimidated. His lips suddenly felt dry and chapped and hands even colder then before.

            “Hey I’m surprised you got here so early!” Jackson smiled looking at his watch one more time as if to make sure how late it was. “I was actually kind of nervous so I came here even earlier, so I’m glad I don't have to wait any longer.” Jackson wasn’t invading his personal space or anything so Mark didn’t know how to explain taking two steps back and just smiling awkwardly. What he wanted to say was ‘What reason would you have to be nervous?’ but what came out was a mumbled:

            “Can we get ice cream?” Mark watched Jackson’s eyebrows rise slightly and his expression became surprised before he showed Mark another bright smile.

            “Sure!”

They were quietly walking along the half busy shopping street and every time Jackson tried to walk a little closer Mark would unobtrusively try and move a bit further away. Of course Jackson noticed and being the straightforward person that he was, he commented on it.

            “I swear I took a shower before I went out to meet you. I can’t be smelling that bad.” He said with amusement and mock disapproval in his voice. Mark immediately started shaking his head in denial and opened his mouth to explain, but Jackson beat him to it. “It’s alright don’t worry! You seem really shy so I’ll stop pushing you. If you don’t feel comfortable with something just say so.” Mark nodded and went to walk a bit closer to Jackson, arms almost brushing against each other while they were walking. His fingers still felt like icicles and tried rubbing them against his each other without Jackson noticing. They only just met but Mark didn’t want to have icicle fingers if Jackson’s and his hand end up brushing, or more then just brushing.

They sat down in a nice little ice cream parlour and while Mark ordered something almost sickening sweet and full of chocolate souse Jackson seemed to prefer his ice cream sour and fruity. They had a nice and quiet conversation, both explaining how they happened to be on a dating site. Mark admitted to having rusty, or actually non-existent, people skills while Jackson said he just thought it might be fun to meet someone over a dating site.

The younger male was being very friendly and open, a smile almost always on his face, and when Mark looked at him he felt as if he was melting, just like the ice cream he was eating. Jackson joked a lot, as expected, and he also liked to tease Mark, seemingly enjoying it when the other flushed or squirmed under his intense eyes. Despite all that Jackson was patient and sweet with him.

Everything went rather well between the two of them until Jackson, who had finished his ice already, decided to reach forward and touch Mark’s freezing fingers with his almost scorchingly hot ones. At the unexpected touch Mark flinched and sent his bowl still filled with ice cream flying into Jackson’s lap.

Immediately a waitress came with tissues and a wet cloth to help Jackson while Mark just sat there looking like a helpless puppy and waiting for Jackson to get angry with him. When the younger looked at him there was worry in his eyes.

            “Are you alright? Why do you look like someone is about to kill you?” Jackson asked and stopped wiping at his pants in order to glance around. “Is it an aggressive ex boyfriend? Do you want me to beat him up?” He continued in a hushed whisper and leant forward as if he was plotting something.

Mark just looked confused, his fingers nervously playing with the sleeves of his cardigan.

            “Aren’t you angry?” He asked, voice hesitant and small. Now it was Jackson’s turn to look confused.

            “What should I be angry about?” Mark’s eyes dropped to his lap and Jackson didn’t say anything more but asked for the check. He paid before Mark could even reach for his wallet and when the older looked at him Jackson just winked and told him he could pay next time.

They ended up walking some more. Mark looking like a child that just broke its mother’s favourite vase and Jackson with a dark brown stain all over his crotch but a smile on his face.

            “I’m really sorry about your pants, I’ll pay for the cleaning of course.” Mark said but Jackson just made a dismissive gesture and grinned teasingly.

            “That’s nothing, don’t worry. I didn’t like those pants in the first place. No idea why I wore them. But if you really want to make it up to me you could let me hold your hand.”

Mark’s fingers were like icicles and Jackson’s felt as if his blood was boiling but somehow they fit together perfectly.

The second date didn’t go much better. Actually it went worse.

They went to the amusement park and Jackson kept giving Mark food, teasing him about how he was way too thin and that he should eat more if he wanted to grow to be big and strong like Jackson. Mark felt a little more comfortable with him so he dared to make a witty comeback and point out how Jackson was shorter then him (only by one centimetre, but still).

Mark knew he didn’t like eating when he went on rides because he could get sick easily, but he figured it didn’t matter if he ate a little. Jackson teasingly feeding him, with that mischievous smile on his face completely made him forget any reservations he had about eating before riding a roller-coaster.

As it turned out Jackson wasn’t a big fan of roller-coasters as he linked arms with Mark and screamed into his ear like a scared little kid while Mark couldn’t help but laugh loudly. After three rides he felt bad for forcing Jackson to ride with him but the younger boy insisted on going.

            “Even though I don’t like riding roller-coasters it’s worth seeing you smile like that.” Jackson explained with a lopsided grin and Mark’s heart skipped a beat.

After the fifth ride Mark felt a little queasy but figured it may be because of the butterflies in his stomach that Jackson caused every time he as much as glanced at him. As they got of the eighth ride Mark just had enough time to lean forward and be sick all over Jackson’s expensive looking sneakers.

Instead of getting angry Jackson just slipped out of his shoes and pulled Mark to the next bench. Immediately giving him a bottle of water and fanning his face.

            “Are you ok? Is it the heat? Did you eat too much?” Mark nodded at the last question as he slowly took sip after sip from the water bottle and eyed the ruined sneakers. Jackson followed his gaze before he came to stand in front of Mark, effectively blocking his view of the shoes.

            “It’s alright, I never liked those old kicks anyway.” Jackson said with a light voice.

            “They looked new.” Mark pointed out and Jackson shrugged, dropping the topic.

Just like at the end of their first date people were giving Jackson weird looks. At the first date it was because of the huge stain on his pants, this time because he was walking around with only sock-clad feet. Still, just like the first time there was a bright smile on Jackson’s face as he held Mark’s hand and joked about him being a trendsetter and that in a few weeks everyone would be walking around without shoes and with stains on their pants.

Before they were about to part ways at Mark’s flat Jackson looked almost sheepish.

            “You know, if you really feel guilty about the shoes you could give me a hug.” His voice was playful enough so he could play it off as a joke in case Mark refused. He didn’t though. The red head slowly inched closer, his arms winding around Jackson’s shoulders while the other wound them around his middle. They stayed like that for a long moment just enjoying each other’s presence and warmth.

When Mark’s fingers touched the heated skin of Jackson’s neck he discovered the younger’s quick heartbeat and had to bite his bottom lip to stop the huge grin that threatened to split across his face.

The third date was an outright disaster.

They went out to have a nice dinner in a fancy restaurant. Both dressed in clean cut suits and Mark was way too embarrassed to admit that he had to buy a suit just for this occasion. As the waiter arrived with their champagne and started pouring it Jackson looked at him and gave him an almost shy smile.

“You know, I wanted to impress you with the reservation for the restaurant but I actually had to buy a suit just for this.” Jackson admitted, and completely ignored the look the waiter was giving him. Mark’s eyes widened and he let out an awkward snort and tried to cover his face with his hands.

            “Me too.” Mark whispered after he leant over the table and closer to Jackson. Both of them were grinning at each other like five year olds who just found a box full of candy.

The dinner that arrived tasted wonderful and the two of them had a flowing and deep conversation. By the time dessert arrived their waiter lighted a candle for them and the lights in the restaurant were dimmed slightly. The mood was romantic and they locked fingers on the table, Jackson having finished his dessert and Mark still enjoying his.

            “Do you want to try some of my cake?” Mark asked with a slight flush on his face, trying to be romantic and flirty. Jackson gave him a bright smile and muttered ‘sure’, already leaning forward.

As Mark moved his nervously shaking hand to feed Jackson his elbow got caught on the candlestick and the candle fell onto the table and Jackson’s blazer caught fire.

Jackson immediately tried extinguishing it with a tablecloth and the waiter who took care of the table next to theirs took a glass of water and spilled it over Jackson’s burning sleeve. The fire was gone and so was half of Jackson’s blazer sleeve. The waiter was checking if he was injured and asked if he should call the hospital or anything, but Jackson just took off the blazer and reassured the man that he was ok.

Mark felt so guilty and like the worst idiot on the whole earth, his throat felt blocked and his vision became blurry. He felt even worse when Jackson’s face immediately became worried and he reached for Mark checking if the other was injured anywhere.

            “I’m so sorry Jackson. I don’t even know what to do to apologize for all the trouble I’ve caused.” Jackson reached for his hands but Mark pulled them away, placing them in his lap and sinking his head in shame. “You brought the suit for today and the very first time you wear it I set it on fire. I’m such an idiot.” Mark was pretty close to crying and wiped the back of his hand over his eyes.

            “That blazer? I didn’t like it in the first place. I thought the colour didn’t suit me at all, it me look very sickly, don’t you think?” Mark looked up to shoot Jackson an angry look and as expected the other was smiling gently.

            “And that as well!” Mark said hand dismissively pointing toward Jackson. “Why do you keep making up all these lame excuses for me?” Jackson’s smile turned even softer, his eyes intense like never before and Mark felt like crying all over again. The younger male’s warm finger’s reached for his hand and this time Mark couldn’t bring himself to pull away.

            “Because you were worth all that trouble and more. You’re worth way more to me then a pair of fashionable pants, new shoes and a fancy blazer.” Mark couldn’t bring himself to say anything and instead just looked at his lap and enjoyed the feeling of Jackson’s warm hand.

Just like last time people were giving them weird looks. Jackson with his slightly charred sleeve on his otherwise spotless button down and Mark who even though he was a grown up man that looked like he had cried like a baby and still had a pout on his face.

When they stopped in front of Mark’s flat the two of them just looked at each other, Jackson’s fingers still tightly intertwined with his.

            “You know if you really feel bad about the blazer you could give me a kiss and agree to be my boyfriend.” Jackson repeated almost the same words as the last two times, but this time his voice sounded deeper and more serious.

Mark let out a relieved and breathy laugh and felt his heartbeat flutter wildly in his chest as he cupped the other’s face and slowly leant in to place a kiss to his lips. Jackson’s lips were just like he expected them to be; they at first tasted of mischief and playfulness like his first impression of Jackson, but they were warm, gentle and loving underneath all that.