Dead End

“Hey GD, the boss wants to talk to you” Suho said as he walked inside the room.

I stood up from my chair and followed Suho to the boss’ room.

 

We arrived at the room. And as we enter we can see the other gang members counting money.

“GD” Sunggyu said as he remained seated at his chair, I went closer to him and he gestured the rest to leave. We were alone inside the room filled with money.

“So GD, how’s your side of the street?” Sunggyu asked as he took a sip from his glass of Whiskey

“Everything seems to be doing great and the tenants is paying us at the right time and the right value”

“Good, good” Sunggyu said. He stood up from his sit and walked pass me. He was about to leave, but he stopped and said

“How are you and Seung-hyun?”

“Were good” I said

“Good. Remember what I said?”

“Yeah”

“Keep that in mind GD” Sunggyu said with a worried tone as he left me inside his office

“I know Sunggyu, I always kept that in mind”

 

I opened the door to our shared apartment and I saw Seung-hyun, in the kitchen, cooking and I smiled, I closed the door.

“I’m home” I said and Seung-hyun looked at my direction and he smiled, the sweetest smile he always gives, the smile that I know is full of love and somehow I feel guilty about it.

 

He went to me and gave me a kiss

“Welcome back” he said and gave me his trade mark smirk and went back to the kitchen and I followed him.

 

He continued cooking and I went closer to him and gave him a back hugged and he chuckled, but he continued cooking

“What are you cooking?” I asked as I try to peak on what he is cooking and its kinda hard because of his height

“Its just beef stew” he said

“Hmm…” I said and I nuzzled my face to his back. And I remembered what Sunggyu said

‘You can’t have everything, especially Seung-hyun GD, remember that’

“I know that” I said rather loudly

“Did you say something yeobo?” Seung-hyun asked as he turn around to look at me. I looked at him and smiled

“Its nothing” I let go of him and went to our shared room

“I’ll be taking a bath first ok?”

“Ok” Seung-hyun said and continued what he was doing

 

I went inside our room, took a change of clothes and went to the bathroom. I stripped from my clothes, opened the shower and went inside. I closed my eyes and suddenly I remember the cold and rainy night, where I killed Seung-hyun’s parents and how we became together

 

“GD, you know what to do?” Sunggyu asked and I nodded. I went to the shop with Sunggyu and Suho behind me, I saw the two couple happily talking to each other and they stopped as they saw us walk inside their shop.

“Its already the dead line” Suho said and the couple remained quiet and the husband said

“We know that ,but our son just applied for his college and we need the money to pay for his tuition fee…”

“I don't give a damn about your son’s college, I only care about the money you owe us” Sunggyu said as he flip the table and the couple flinched at the sudden action.

“Please, just give us another week and I promise you, we will give you the money and we will give you twice the amount we owe you” the husband said but Sunggyu wasn’t in the mood to give another deadline after all today was a bad day for him.

“GD” Sunggyu said and I nodded, I took out my gun and at the sight of the gun, the couple kneeled in front of us

“Please, just give us another week” the husband begged as he comfort his sobbing wife

“Sorry but I’m done giving you a deadline because this is already your end” with that, the couple looked up with their pleading eyes and without having a second thought, I shot them right on their head and we walked away.

 

As we walk outside, it was already raining, I turn around to look at the shop and then I saw a man, who was weeping at the sight of the couple

“Its their son” I said, Sunggyu and Suho stopped walking and saw the man who was calling for help

“So what about him?” Sunggyu said bitterly

“You don't need to be guilty about killing his parents, its their damn fault after all” Sunggyu added and they walked ones again and I followed, but even though I killed random couples and businessman who doesn't pay us, this is the first time that I felt guilty about it and I don't know why.

 

Weeks has passed since the incident and Sunggyu asked me to collect the money for this month and I was walking on the streets, where the shop of the couple I killed were and I walked passed the shop and there, I saw their son and he was handling the shop.

‘I thought he was a student?’ I thought to myself, I looked at my watch and I still have some time, so I went inside the shop due to curiosity. As I entered the shop and bell tinged and he looked at me

“Welcome sir” he said as he went towards me and I looked at the people inside

“Table for one?” he asked and I looked at him and he was smiling

“Um, yeah” I said and he escorted me to a table and placed a menu above the table and I took it, I heard people talking and I was about to ignore it until I heard them talking about the guy.

“Poor Seung-hyun-shi” the middle aged woman said

“Yeah, since his parents were murdered he is forced to work for his college” said her friend

“Yeah, but good thing his relatives are somehow helping him in paying his college fee”

“And I heard he wants to be a lawyer”

“I also heard that from his parents when they were still alive”

‘So he wants to be a lawyer huh?’ I thought to myself

“Excuse me, are you ready to order?” the guy asked and I looked at him

“Um, I’ll just have the chicken curry” I said, he wrote it down and smiled

“Ok sir, your order will be ready within 10 minutes” and he left, I kept on staring at him as he worked and he was very handsome doing it and he looked at me and I averted my eyes but I saw him in the corner of my eye that he was smiling and I blushed to that.

 

As I was waiting for my order, people were leaving the shop and I was left alone inside the shop and I can sense the awkwardness inside.

“Here’s your order sir” he said as he placed my order on the table

“Thank you” I said as I took the spoon and he cleaned the dirty tables. I took a bite from it and it was delicious, very delicious

“This is good” I said rather loudly

“Thanks” he said and he smiled at me. Damn that smile is so warm and I continued eating. As I was eating I kept on staring at him ones again and every time he looked at me I avert my eyes. I finished the dish and damn I was full, I stood up and went to the cashier.

“How much is the curry?” I asked

“2000 won” he said I was about to get my wallet but he suddenly said

“But I’ll only charge you 1000 won” he said with a smile on his face and I blushed

“And why is that?” I asked without looking at him

“Well, because I never saw a pretty person like you” he said and I blushed harder and I didn't reply because I think I don't have to because my face is already a dead give-away. I just took the money in my wallet and he took it, I was about to leave but suddenly he asked
“What’s your name?”

“Jiyong but you can call me GD” I said without looking at him because my face is becoming redder by the minute he talks to me

“I’m Seung-hyun” he said and I nodded and I opened the door

“I hope you come back again” he said and I left.

 

As I was walking I kept my head low because my face is still red because I kept on remembering his smile, but when I remembered the cold and rainy night were I killed his parents all I can think of is his weeping face, so I stopped blushing and I felt the guilt building up inside me and I continued walking and collected the money.

 

After I collected all the money I went directly to Sunggyu and their I saw him sitting while smoking, he stopped smoking as he saw me walked inside his room and placed it in the ash tray. I went to the table and placed the money, he took it and he smiled and placed it at the drawer of his table

“Good job GD” he said

“Is that all Sunggyu?” I asked and he nodded, I was about to leave but Sunggyu started talking

“Are you guilty about the couple?”

“No, why would I?”

“Yeah, why would you, but according to the boys, they saw you going to the shop of the couple this noon” Sunggyu said

“So what if I went their?” I asked as I turn around to look at Sunggyu and I saw the worry in his eyes and he sighed

“GD, I know your guilty about it especially when you saw their son weeping but what is done, is done and we can’t do anything about it” Sunggyu said as he went closer to me, he placed his hands on my shoulder and continued

“In this world of ours, we can’t have everything GD, remember that” he patted my shoulder and went back at his chair and lit another cigarette and I went outside.

 

I went to our buildings balcony and lit a cigarette. And I remembered the Seung-hyun I saw that night and the Seung-hyun I saw this noon. It was two different person but their was one in common, his eyes, his eyes were filled with sadness and hurt, but the way he smile when I saw him working at his parents shop, all the sadness faded away especially when he saw me. I sighed and huffed the smoke

“We can’t have everything” I said what Sunggyu said to me and looked at the stars

“I should stop thinking about that guy, after all I can’t have him”

 

Its been weeks since I last went to the shop of Seung-hyun, I actually avoided going their because I don't want to see him, especially on what I did. I finished going to shops and collecting money for Sunggyu. As I was walking somebody held my shoulders and out of reflex I grabbed the guys arm and twisted it and I turned around, as I turn around I saw the guy, it was Seung-hyun, in pain, I let go his hand and he massaged it

“I’m very sorry” I said and he continued massaging it and he looked at me with a smile on his face. Is he a masochist or something?

“Its ok, I know you were strong but I never thought that you were this strong” he said as he twist his wrist

“I’m really sorry” I said ones again as I hang head low

“Hey, its ok” he said as he try to look at my face. I looked at him and he smiled and I actually smiled back.

“You look pretty when you smile” he said and I blushed ones again

“Um, thanks I guess” I said as I averted my eyes

“Jiyong, are you busy right now?” he asked me and I was shocked because I never heard anybody calling me by my given name except for my parents who left me when I was 16 but I never felt this happy from someone who is calling me by my given name.

“Um, Jiyong?” he said and I was back to reality

“Um yeah” I said and he nodded

“I see, but can I borrow your phone?” he asked and I took out my phone and gave it to him, he took it and he gave it back after a minute and I looked at him confusedly

“Oh, I just put my number on your phone” he said and I actually checked if it was true and as I scan my contacts I saw his name and I smiled unconditionally, he suddenly went beside me and clicked the call button on my phone and his phone rang

“And now I have your number” he said with a smirk on his face

“When are you free Jiyong?” he asked me

“That depends” I said honestly

“Hmm…” he said and their was a awkward tension between us and my phone rang, I looked at the caller and it was Sunggyu

“Hello”

(“GD have you finished collecting the money?”)

“Yeah”

(“Ok, go directly at my office ones you’ve arrived”)

“Ok” I said and he hanged up and I place my phone in my pocket

“Hey Seung-hyun, I have to go” I said and I was about to leave but he grabbed my arm and I turn around

“Call me when your free, ok?” he asked, I was about to answer but I remembered what Sunggyu said, I smiled lightly and I looked at him

“Ok” I said and he smiled, the biggest smile he ever gave to me. He lets go of my arm and I walked away but I can feel his gaze on my back, so I hurriedly went to our gangs building.

 

I went directly to Sunggyu’s office. I entered the room and saw Sunggyu alone, when he saw me, he gestured me to get inside

“Lock the door” he said so I did, but its rare for Sunggyu to lock his door.

“Sit down GD” he said, so I obliged

“Where’s the money?” he asked. I took out the envelope filled with this months money and gave it to Sunggyu. He checked the amount and placed it inside his drawer. And their was a awkward tension between us, I was about to talk but he sighed and said

“GD, do you remember what I told you?”

“Yeah”

“What did I told you?” Sunggyu asked

“That we can’t have everything” I said while looking at Sunggyu straight in the eyes

“Yes, we can’t have everything but I can see, you want something, right?”

“I don't know what you mean Sunggyu”

“The guy, the son of the couple you killed, you want him, right?” Sunggyu asked and I was stunned because I never thought that I want him and even though I want him, I can’t.

“I don't know” I said honestly. Sunggyu stood up from his sit and went in front of me and sat on his table

“You don't know or you don't want to know” he said and I kept silent

“*Sigh* GD, I know you and I know that look in your eyes. That eyes has the look of want, but at the same time theirs guilt.” He said and I still kept quiet

“Do you love him?” he said and again I was stunned at his question

“I don't know” I said

“Do you wanna find out?” he said

“What?” I asked

“Do you wanna find out if you love him?” he asked as he looked at me

“I… I don't know” I said

“Then go find out” he said and I looked at him, I was searching for something in his face that says I-Am-Just-Joking but their wasn't, so I looked down

“I don't want to Sunggyu, especially I did something to him”

“I know that GD, but even if its just temporary happiness, I don't want to be the one to stop you from going for it” Sunggyu said as he placed his hand on my shoulder. I looked at him and I saw his sincere smile that he only gives to me and Suho. I nodded and he did as well, he went back to his chair and he gestured me to leave, I went to the door and before I turn the knob he said

“Just keep in mind what I told you” he said and I nodded and I went to the balcony, I took my phone and searched for Seung-hyun’s number, as I found it I was about to click it but I felt the guilt building up inside me, but I set it aside and I click the call button

“Even if its just temporary happiness” I said to myself and waited for Seung-hyun to pick up his phone

(“Jiyong”) he answered

“Hey Seung-hyun”

(“I never thought that you will call me this early”) he said and I can sense that he was smiling when he said that

“Um yeah, same here”

(“So what’s up Jiyong?”)

“Are you…. Um, free… tomorrow?” I asked

(“Yeah, I am. Are you asking me to go on a date with you?”) he said and I can sense that he was smirking

“Um, you can say that” I said shyly and I heard him chuckling

(“Ok, it's a date. Lets meet up at the train station at 1:00 pm, sounds good?”) he asked

“Yeah, that sounds good” I said as I smiled

(“Good, ok see you tomorrow, ok?”) he said

“Yeah see you tomorrow” with that I hanged up and I felt happiness scourging through my veins and I can’t stop smiling.

 

I was at the train station a little early than expected, but before I left I told Sunggyu about it and he just smiled, but I can sense the worry and I assured him that I am prepared for what the outcome will be and I always kept in my mind what Sunggyu said

‘We can’t have everything’

I was about to leave to buy a drink but suddenly someone called me

“Jiyong!!” I turn around and it was Seung-hyun, panting.

“Hey, are you ok?” I asked him and he just smiled as he was catching his breath

“*Pant* Yeah, I’m ok” he said

“Why did you ran?” I asked him

“Well, I saw you seating here and then you suddenly stood up, I thought you were going to leave because I wasn't here yet, so I ran” he said, so he ran because he thought I was going to leave? That kinda made me happy.

“So lets go?” he asked

“Um sure” I said and we walked on the streets of Gangnam

“So where do you want t go?” he asked me

“I don't know actually” I said honestly

“I know, come” he held my hand and I was shocked and people around us were staring, but Seung-hyun didn't mind.

 

He led me to a café near a college

“What is this place?” I asked

“Well, this is were I always stay when I’m on break or when I’m just wasting time” he said and he led me inside.

 

As we enter I saw many college students inside.

“Jiyong, what would you like?” he asked me

“Um, black coffee is fine” and he nodded. I scanned at the surroundings and I saw many people eyeing Seung-hyun

‘Maybe they know him or something’ I said to myself

“Hey Seung-hyun, I’ll look for a table”

“Ok” he said with a smile on his face. I looked for a table and I saw an empty table at the end, so I went their and I sat down. As I was waiting for Seung-hyun, I heard girls talking about him like

“Is he Seung-hyun of the law department?” or

“He is really handsome” or

“Does he have a girlfriend?” and also

“Should I try confessing to him?”

The typical girl talk. I just seated their while I wait for Seung-hyun with our coffee. Minutes later he came with a tray filled with bread and also our coffee

“Why do we have a lots bread?” I asked as I took my cup

“Well, I didn't asked you what bread you like, so I just bought all the bread they have” he said with a smile on his face. He took a sip from his cup and placed it back at the table

“So Jiyong, how old are you?” he asked me

“Well, I’m 26, you?”

“I’m 27”
“WAE?!” I said rather loudly and all the people inside the café looked at our direction and I bowed down and said sorry

“I thought I was older than you” I said and he just chuckled, I took another sip from my coffee and took a bread and looked at the people outside the café

“So, if I was a student, we’ll be in different levels” I said

“Yeah, but why aren’t you a student?”

“Well, I don't have the money”

“How about your parents?”

“I don't know, when I was 16 my parents just left me” I said as I ate my bread

“Well, my parents was murdered just recently and I was forced to work on my own, but good thing some of my relatives are helping me with my college fees” he said, as he said those words I became pale and I tried to calm myself

“I… I’m sorry” is the only thing I can say and I looked down. He placed his hand on my chin and forced me to look at him gently and he smiled, the sweetest smile that I am lucky to see

“Its ok” he said, he took another sip form his coffee and he asked

“What’s your job?”

“I’m just a collector” I said as I took a sip

“Of whom?”

“A businessman” I lied because I can’t tell him that I work for a gangster and that I am a gangster as well and I collect money to people who are renting our lot and I can’t seriously tell him that it is also the reason why I killed his parents

“I see” he said with a smile on his face.

We kept on talking for hours about random things until we were tired of sitting. We went outside the café and talked as we walked around Gangnam.

 

It was already dark, we decided to go to the playground near the station so that we can rest, so we went there. We sat on the swing set and I looked at the stars

“You’re really beautiful” he said and I just blushed

“So beautiful” he said again and I looked at him, his face was getting closer to mine and I just closed my eyes

“Beautiful” he said and I felt his lips touched mine.

 

We’ve dated several times and every date we have the guilt in me kept on building up inside me until the day that we became together. He asked me if we can live together and I happily said yes, but the guilt is still inside me and I always reminded myself that we can’t have everything, so that I wont get my hopes up.

 

I was inside Sunggyu’s office, counting the money we have earned this past months and Sunggyu asked the members to leave me and him and they obliged.

“So, you two will be living together?” Sunggyu asked, I let go of the money and I looked at him and their I saw worry in his face

“Yeah and you don't have to worry Sunggyu, I’ve already prepared myself that he might leave me because of what I did to his parents” I said

“I know your mentally prepared, but are you emotionally prepared GD? You and Seung-hyun dated for 5 months and you know everything about him but he doesn't have a clue about who you are and he only knows that he loves you and you love him, so are you emotionally prepared GD?” Sunggyu said and I remained quiet because I was dumbfounded in his question, I am mentally prepared, I really am, but is my heart prepared for the day that Seung-hyun will leave me? I don't know. Sunggyu just sighed and stood up and went towards the door, before he opened the door he said

“We can’t have everything GD, especially the person we love” and he went outside.

 

“I know that Sunggyu, I always kept that in mind” I said to myself

 

*Knock**Knock*

 

“Jiyong, are you done taking a shower?” Seung-hyun asked me, I turned off the shower

“Yeah, I’m done” I said as I dry myself

“Ok, dinners ready”

“Ok” I said and put on my clothes.

 

I went outside our shared room and their I saw Seung-hyun, not eating.

“Why aren’t you eating?” I asked as I sat down on the chair in front of him.

“Well its kinda lonely eating by yourself and…” he suddenly placed his hands over mine

“… I want to eat with my yeobo” he said as he smiled and I blushed

“O… Ok then… lets… eat” I said while stuttering and he just smiled and nodded and we ate. While eating we talked about what happened today, but I, kept asking Seung-hyun about his day and I somehow lied to mine, after all I don't have the guts to tell him what I am doing everyday.

 

After we ate dinner Seung-hyun went directly to our shared room because he has lots of things to do, after all he is a law student. I washed the dishes and cleaned the table, like a good house wife. After cleaning, I went inside our room and I saw Seung-hyun, on his table, studying. I went to him and I backed hugged him and nuzzled my face on the crook of his neck and he chuckled

“What’s wrong yeobo?” he asked

“Nothing, I just want to hug you” I said as I tighten my grip

“I love you Seung-hyun, I really, really love you” I said and I didn't realize that I was already crying, but Seung-hyun knew, he turn around and he wiped my tears and pulled me towards him and I was sitting on his lap.

“I know Jiyong. I love you too, I really…” he kissed my forehead

“… Really” he kissed my cheeks

“… Love you” and he kissed my lips, passionately and the I can feel how much he loves me and I also felt the guilt building up inside me, that's why I stop crying, Seung-hyun hugged me tightly and I felt his warm and the security, I calmed down and Seung-hyun felt it.

“Have you calmed down now?” he asked me and I just nodded

“Do you want me to lay beside you until you fall asleep?” he asked and ones again I just nodded. He carried me to our shared bed and he lay me on my side of th bed and he lay beside me and I went closer to him and he hugged me ones again.

“I love you yeobo” is the last thing I heard and I was in deep sleep.

 

Sunggyu, Suho and I went on our monthly rounds on the stores that are renting on our property. Sunggyu and Suho was in front of me, while I was behind them. Last night was a little blur to me and the breakdown I did last night is something I rarely do, rarely meaning, never. I was lost on my own thoughts and Sunggyu turn around with widen his eyes

“GD look out!!” he said but when I turn around I was already been hit in the head and also Sunggyu and Suho.

 

I woke up in an unfamiliar place and the only light I can see is really dim.

“Sunggyu? Suho?” I called but their was no response, as I regain my eyesight I saw my two friends tied up on a chair, and dead. I widen my eyes at the sight of my friends dead body.

“SUNGGYU!! SUHO!!” I screamed because maybe they are just sleeping, but their was no reaction, not even a twitch, nothing, and I hanged my head low.

“Sunggyu. Suho” I said silently and I closed my eyes and a tear escaped in them.

 

Suddenly a door opened and two human forms were coming towards me

“YOU MOTHER ER!! IF YOU HAVE A GRUDGE ON ME, KILL ME, NOT MY FRIENDS!!” I screamed at the two person and they didn't respond and I just whimpered. The man went closer to me and when he was on the light I widened my eyes at the sight of the man

“YOU SON OF A , JUNHYUNG, WHAT HAVE WE DONE TO YOU?!” I screamed to Junhyung, the leader our rivalry gang – ACRS – he went closer to me and I tried to punch him, but I was also tied on the chair I am sitting.

“I never thought you have a thing for a loud mouth” Junhyung said, I was about to talk but a familiar voice started talking

“Leave us Junhyung” then the man walked towards Junhyung and I saw the gun he was holding and I saw his face clearly even in the dimmed light and I was shocked

“Seung-hyun?” I said confusedly and he just looked at me. Junhyung looked at me ones again and he just patted Seung-hyun’s shoulders and left us.

“Jiyong” he said and I hanged my head low and cried, he went closer to me and kneeled in front of me so that we can be in eye level, he placed his gun less hand on one of my knees

“Jiyong, please look at me” he said with the voice he always used when he is comforting me, but I can’t look at him. He caresses my face and made me face him so I did and I can’t stop crying because I know, he knows about my secret, he knows that I am a gangster and he already knew about me killing his parents

“I’m sorry Seung-hyun” is the only words that escaped my mouth

“I’m sorry too, Jiyong” he said and I widen my eyes

“I’m sorry that I killed your friends and I’m also sorry because I have to kill you” those words escaped his lips and my tears kept on falling, but he suddenly hugged me and I felt the familiar security in his hug and I breakdown ones again

“I’m really sorry Seung-hyun, I’m sorry because I didn't tell you about me being a gangster and also I am very sorry because I killed your parents” I said while I hanged my head low because I don't have the guts to look at him straight in the eye. Seung-hyun just hugged me tightly.

“I’m also sorry Jiyong, for not telling you that I am a part of the gangster you are rivaled with, and I’m also sorry for not telling you that I already knew about you killing my parents” he hugged me even tighter and he continued

“But the love I have for you is true and I know your love for me is also true” he said and I just kept on crying

“I’m really sorry Seung-hyun. I am really, really sorry” I said ones again

“I’m also sorry for killing your friends Jiyong…” he looked at me and he continued

“I’m also sorry because I will be killing you next” with that said I just kept my tears flowing and Seung-hyun stood up and I looked at him and he pointed the gun at me

“Just tell me it wasn't your fault that you killed my parents. Just tell me that it was Sunggyu who told you to kill them. Please.” he said and I can see a tear escaped his eyes, but even if I can tell him that, I can’t, because I said an oath that says

‘Brothers First Before Anything Else, Even If Death Is At Stake’ and also because I will pull the trigger without double thinking even if Sunggyu didn't tell me to do so. I looked at Seung-hyun, straight in the eyes

“I’m sorry Seung-hyun, but I can’t do that” with that said Seung-hyun closed his eyes and pointed the gun in my head

“I love you Jiyong, so much that it hurts me to kill you” he said as tears continues falling from his eyes

“I love you too Seung-hyun, I really love you from the bottom of my heart” I closed my eyes and I waited for the shot.

 

So this is how my love will end.

 

‘We can’t have everything’ that's what Sunggyu always said and yeah I can’t have everything.

 

Seung-hyun I love so much and I am very sorry.

 

Our love for each other will just be over like a DEAD END.

 

*BANG*

 

-END-

---

---

To continue, click THIS