02. recollection

let's go to hell, my love
Please Subscribe to read the full chapter

Hyukjae was alone in his apartment, working on a piece he couldn't seem to get a grip on. Recently, he'd been thinking he couldn't get a grip on anything these days. His mind was always elsewhere, drifting.

Hyukjae remembers the first time he told Donghae he loved him, three months after meeting him. He supposed he shouldn't have been so nervous, or even nervous at all, after all-- it was just Donghae. But Donghae wasn't Donghae recently. 

Hyukjae gripped his paintbrush a little bit tighter, slightly grinding his teeth together. It had been 5 months since Donghae told him he thought they needed another break. It came as no surprise to Hyukjae-- in fact, after his most recent "outburst", as Donghae liked to call them, he'd been expecting it.

There was something in the way that he would push Hyukjae aside in a way that wasn't as friendly as it was forceful anymore, there was a slight snap in his words and an old glint that seemed to have traveled so far deep back into his eyes that Hyukjae couldn't find it anymore.

If Hyukjae thought back, this was probably the 4th "break" they'd taken from each other in the past year and a half, all per Donghae's request. Of course he couldn't do anything but watch Donghae walk away; Donghae held all the power in their relationship. It had always been this way. But when had he started becoming numb whenever Donghae approached him and said "we need to talk"? When had  Donghae's, more often than not, glazed over eyes and tight-lipped smile not continue to phase to him? When exactly had the point been that Donghae emotionally drained him so severely he found there were some moments he couldn't feel a thing anymore?

But when Hyukjae was patient, the bad moments always eventually gave way to the rare pleasure of good ones. Moments where Donghae would look at him with genuine happiness in his eyes, would squeeze his fingers tight and say "I'm proud of you, Hyukjae-yah", or "You've been strong recently", and he figured he could put up with whatever mood swings or bad treatment he recieved from Donghae e

Please Subscribe to read the full chapter
Like this story? Give it an Upvote!
Thank you!
Back to Top ↑

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
MeinAltire #1
Chapter 3: This is great, I like how you draw hyuk emotions...
it sad and destructive for hyuk...his attachment to hae is too strong and hurting...
Looking forward for an update :) Good luck
czuczi12 #2
I love this!
tihikix33 #3
Chapter 3: i'd be lying if i said hyukjae at this point, angry, shaken, and hurt, doesn't get to me. because it does. like a lot. i can feel the sad intensity rolling off this chapter it's affecting my pathetic heart HYUKJAE
i shouldn't come to any conclusions before we get the entire story, although donghae does seem a little…strangely cold as of what i'm getting from what hyukjae says? and i think that hyukjae's attachment to donghae is too strong, has probably been since when they were kids, but this attachment is hurting him, and maybe donghae, or maybe both. i'm just. overwhelmed by intense feelings JESUS SERAH WHY ARE YOU SO GOOD AT GETTING TO ME
tihikix33 #4
Chapter 2: i can't but help find it interesting how hyukjae points out those certain details he sees in donghae (the slight curl of the lips when he's slightly ticked off, the shaking during confrontation). mainly because it's specifically these things that he sees, which almost kind of sets out an almost foreshadowing of what may come later? maybe i'm looking too much into it, haha, but i find it really interesting.
you incorporated their sunrise moment!!!!! ahH so beautiful ;;;; i'm almost sort of sad that it's just going downhill from now, aahaha aw

bug-eyed jaejoong you weren't going to miss the chance were you anD he hissed at him HAHAH
tihikix33 #5
Chapter 1: YEEEEE SERAHHHHH

I'M STILL FAWNING OVER THE WAY YOU WRITE I AM SO INTRIGUED AND SADDENED BY WHAT HAPPENED IN THE END OF THE PROLOGUE why whwyYy whAt did donghae do
hyukjae admiring donghae from afar and being intrigued by him HAHA why does this make me laugh
donghae being older and one of the "cool kids" in the neighborhood also makes me laugh, but in a nice way I like it wheeeehwh I LIKE and they're both artistic, I love artist!eunhae ah and I also can't wait for the story to unravel their relationship into pieces and bits and wHY HYUKJAE AND DONGHAE HAVE COME TO THIS SAD POINT EHEJJWAK
good luck with this! i'm excited for whatever is to come ((((: ((not like my heart is going to burst from the dark themes that are going to come right i'm sweating from nervousness and anticipation gUh))
Back to Top ↑