It was a sight Jackson had witnessed a few times and although it only bugged him a little in the beginning this time he felt anger rise inside him. He swallowed a lump in his throat and tried to stop the irritation from showing on his face, after all there were cameras everywhere and even if they weren’t directly pointed at him, he was still in the picture.

So Jackson balled his fists and tried to compose himself as Mark placed a kiss on Jinyoung’s cheek. The Hong Kong native had to grit his teeth and remind himself exactly were he was as the burning rage overtook him. He could feel his fists shaking and knew he wanted nothing more then to push Jinyoung away, maybe even hit him.

To him it just wasn’t fair how Jinyoung could kiss those soft cheeks and have Mark’s warm lips touch his face and the only time Jackson wanted to do it, Mark evaded him.

All of a sudden Jackson released a breath he didn’t know he was holding and his whole body relaxed. His eyes had widened and he realised how fast his heart had been beating. Jackson thought in the beginning it irritated him to see these to share those kisses in front of the camera because in reality they weren’t so close and he thought it should be him and Mark doing that, but that still didn’t explain why he felt such a burning desire to hit Jinyoung this time.

He wasn’t a fan of sharing best friends and he didn’t want other people to take his friends away but he had never experienced this level of jealousy because of one of his band members. Jackson blinked once and saw Jinyoung and Mark pull away from each other and go back to their respective places. As he turned, Mark glanced at him and immediately a frown appeared on his face. Jackson just gave him a reassuring smile and looked away again.

Despite the inner turmoil and confusion that was going on inside his head Jackson smiled through the rest of the recording and didn’t let his bad mood affect his work. So he was quite surprised when later that day, while he was playing games on his phone and dozing on his mattress Mark decided to question him. The older boy closed his laptop and crawled over onto Jackson’s bed, making the younger look up from his phone.

            “Are you ok Jackson? It looked like you were upset about something during recording.” Mark said in a careful tone, his brows furrowed in worry. The younger boy sat up on his bed and gave a bright smile.

            “Of course I’m fine I was just spacing out during that for a bit. It’s nothing, really.” Jackson answered and widened his smile for good measure but Mark just gave him the puppy look he knew none of them could refuse, imploring him to be honest. “It honestly was nothing Mark, I don’t even remember what I was thinking about. Maybe I was hungry.” Mark dropped his eyes to look at his fingers, which were fiddling with the blanket he was sitting on. The Hong Kong native really took a moment to look at him than, he seemed disappointed and there was a slight pout to his pink lips. It was not unusual for Mark to pout or sulk, honestly speaking the oldest boy quite often behaved like he belonged in the maknae line. He often seemed slightly confused or distracted and it usually made Jinyoung coo and baby him and whilst Jackson didn’t want to admit that is also what made the Honk Kong native want to protect him.

Jackson thought back to that one time when they were playing the frying pen game on Naver Starcast and Mark made a mistake because Bambam had sped up too quickly. Suddenly everyone was standing and pointing fingers at Mark who was still sitting on the floor his shoulders slouched and eyes like a scared puppy’s. Before Jackson knew what he was doing he had already jumped up and pulled the sitting boy to his feet.

In that moment the other band members looked like hungry sharks, ready to feast on the small and cute fish that had somehow gotten caught up in that situation. Jackson reasoned that’s why he had stood in front of the older boy, using his own body to block and shield him in case the others decided to come too close. Later he realised that his reaction hadn’t even made sense; the other’s would have never hurt Mark, but in that moment he really couldn’t care less as he felt the red head’s lithe and cold hand squeeze his and when he realised how readily the older boy let himself be protected. It also wasn’t until later that he realised he had told Jaebum, his hyung and leader to shut up. In that situation Jackson only thought about how he wanted to keep the slighter boy behind him out of everyone’s reach.

It didn’t help at all that some minutes after that, when he pulled Mark’s legs into his lap the other clung to him like a little koala. The L.A. native’s legs seemed so thin compared to his muscular ones and Mark looked so tiny and cute the way he folded himself next to Jackson. All of that made Jackson want to keep the older boy close and save.

He knew exactly how Mark felt being in a foreign country with foreign customs and a language that wasn’t exactly easy to learn and while Bambam and him were in the same situation they seemed to be able to cope with it better. Mark often seemed so insecure and lost and Jackson knew he wasn’t the only one who saw it. Jaebum and especially Jinyoung saw it too. Now add to that the confused puppy look the most innocent smile one could imagine and you got yourself the cutest twenty-year-old Jackson ever saw.

Suddenly he was brought back from his thoughts when nimble and slim fingers started playing with his hand. He looked up and saw Mark look at him through his black as ink lashes.

            “Jackson if there is anything bothering you, you will tell me, right?” Mark implored with a soft voice. Jackson felt something in his stomach again, although this time it felt more like a confused dove that was flying against a glass window than anger. Or was this what people described as having butterflies in your stomach? Jackson wondered how they could tell the difference between butterflies and stomach troubles. Also the Hong Kong native was quite sure that what he felt toward his band member was nothing but friendly love and affection, even when Mark’s eyes shone like a sky full of falling stars.

He had to avert his eyes and looked at Mark’s slim fingers play around with his broader ones and the thought to bundle the older boy in lots of blankets and protect him entered his head again. Jackson pulled his own hand back, planning to end the conversation there, but saw how Mark’s fingers froze at the rejection of his touch so he intertwined both of their hands instead and locked his eyes with the other’s again.

            “I might be feeling a bit lonely to be honest.” That was only a half lie. “I miss my family a lot.” That was a complete lie but the older boy didn’t have to know that. As Jackson said that Mark’s expression became so very sweet and understanding Jackson just wanted to squish his cheeks at the amount of cuteness. The L.A. native nodded to show his understanding then became silent for a moment and looked away almost shyly.

When Mark looked up again his cheeks looked a tad darker and he looked like a puppy that was asking for attention.

            “If you want to we can sleep together? I mean on the same mattress.” In that moment Jackson understood why girls squealed when they found something cute, but Jackson was a man so instead he let out an awkward noise somewhere between a hum and a caugh.

            “Yeah sure we can do that. I haven’t shared a bed in ages.” Jackson answered and wished someone would tell that stupid bird in his stomach that it’s impossible to fly through glass. Mark smiled at him, all sharp canines and pink gums.

            “Me neither, but it definitely helps when you feel lonely. I often used to share a bed with my younger brother when he was feeling sad.” For a moment Jackson’s smile almost faltered when he realised that Mark saw him just as his younger brother then he wondered about his own thoughts. As what else was he supposed to see him? “I’m gonna go shower.” Jackson just nodded in response and let go of Mark’s hands. “I won’t take long don’t worry. You need to shower as well right?” The younger boy managed another nod as he watched Mark pick out his pyjamas.

The shower really didn’t take long and when the older boy came back Jackson immediately rushed past him out of the room and into the bathroom. For some reason he felt nervous, but he was also in anticipation of sharing a bed with the older boy. The ex-fencer showered quickly and hurriedly went back to the bedroom where Mark was already dozing on his bed while hugging Jackson’s pillow. His heart swelled at the sight and as he came closer he realised Mark was wearing one of his black sleeping shirts. Jackson bit into his bottom lips to stop himself from grinning like an idiot at the adorable thing that was his hyung.

The L.A. native stirred and blinked sleepily at Jackson.

            “That was a quick shower.” Mark said drowsily and slid closer to the wall to make more room for Jackson. The younger boy just let out a short laugh as he slid under the covers as well.

            “Maybe you only think it was quick because you were sleeping.” Jackson commented in a teasing voice causing Mark to pout. Both boys moved around until they settles comfortably with Jackson on his back, how he usually sleeps, and Mark half draped over him, with his arm around his chest, leg over both of his and head nestled in the crook of his neck.

Jackson could feel Mark release a deep sigh of comfort and again he caught himself thinking how adorable the older boy was. “I thought you wanted to sleep together to make me feel better not for you to sleep more comfortably.” The Hong Kong native teased again. He could feel Mark’s lips form a pout against his skin.

            “What? Do you want to say ge ge’s presence doesn’t make you feel less lonely?” the older boy asked, the fingers that were resting over Jackson’s stomach prodding at his sides.

            “You feel more like a di di to be honest.” Jackson mumbled to himself, inaudible enough so Mark wouldn’t hear it and buried his face into the brunette hair of the other boy. Mark let out a sleepy hum and wiggled a bit closer. The tiredness overtook Jackson almost immediately, as he fell asleep listening to the other’s deep breaths.

After that night the two seemed to have become a bit closer, or at least Jackson felt as if they have. After all he was definitely paying more attention to the older boy and the two of them would share the same bed from time to time. Each time Jackson woke up with Mark beside him he couldn’t help but spend a few minutes just looking at the sleeping boy.

Mark was oddly enticing while asleep. Half of his face was squished against the pillow and one of his hands balled into a lose fist and right beside his lips. Sometimes he would let out soft snores and Jackson had to clasp a hand over his mouth to stop himself from laughing at the cute noise. A sleeping Mark certainly did not look like a character from a drama, nor like the picture of a flawless angel. But Jackson thought he looked better because he was Mark and his lips were pink and his lashes were long and black like ink and even when he was snoring and drooling and when he woke up with wrinkles across his cheek from the pillow he was sleeping on, even than Jackson thought he was the most delightful thing he ever saw.

So Jackson started noticing a lot of small things about Mark that made the older boy look even more appealing in his eyes. For instance how he would scrunch up his face when he was hungry but couldn’t start eating because the food was still too hot or how whenever he was feeling insecure or out of place his shoulders would slouch and he would try to make himself as small as possible. Another thing he found absolutely lovable was how when Mark was nervous he would his head slightly to the left and gnaw at his bottom like he was eating something delectable.

Jackson also got more protective of the other boy since he noticed the difference in physique between the two of them. He was aware that Mark wasn’t muscular like him but sometimes Jackson saw him stand next to Bambam whose insoles made him at least as tall as Mark, who didn’t like wearing them for some reason, and even standing next to the second youngest the oldest looked tiny. When Jackson stood next to him and Mark was wearing an slightly oversized shirt that revealed his collarbone and a bit of his shoulders the Hong Kong native felt like other boy was some weak boned, little bird that needed his protection and care. And because Jackson was Jackson he decided he would give Mark exactly that.

The next time the two of them went grocery shopping Jackson pulled the older boy on his other side so he wouldn’t walk on the side the cars were, he would watch out so the older didn’t bump into other people and only let Mark carry the lightest shopping bags. Mark was, of course, giving him weird looks because who wouldn’t if doors were suddenly held open for you and your dongsaeng insisted on paying for you and wouldn’t let your other band members come too close to you. Even Jinyoung stopped babying him because Jackson could become quite scary if he wanted to.

Jackson on the other hand felt as obsessed as never before. He was now quite sure that the feelings he had for the older boy weren’t feelings you have for your brother or just a friend. That was the only way he could explain his burning jealousy and need to protect the other. Not to forget that he couldn’t stop staring at Mark’s pretty lips and couldn’t stop thinking about kissing them. That might have also have given him the idea that his feelings went a bit deeper then friendship.

Jackson’s overprotective behaviour went on for quite some time and no one questioned it. Until one day when they were all sitting on the couch except Mark, who couldn’t fit himself on there and just sat on the floor, the sentence “Baby, just sit on my lap.” slipped out of Jackson’s mouth. Everyone turned to look between a blushing and surprised Mark and a slightly embarrassed Jackson.

The Hong Kong native didn’t mean to say that, but once again his mouth worked faster then his brain and for a moment he thought he might regret it, but then Mark whispered a soft ‘ok’ and slowly got up from his position on the floor. His cheeks were still flushed when he sat down on the ex-fencer’s muscular tights. Jackson propped his head on Mark’s shoulder and wound his arm around the other’s waist. The others were still watching them with raised eyebrows when the oldest gave them an annoyed look.

            “What? When Bambam sits in his lap you don’t look at him like that.” Mark said with a pout and the others turned back to the television.

The L.A. native turned his face so he was facing Jackson who was once again staring at the older boy’s pink mouth.

            “Jackson, when the movie is over we’ll have to talk about this.” He said softly so the others wouldn’t hear and Jackson only nodded in response and swallowed anxiously. Mark squirming around on his lap during the whole movie didn’t make anything easier.

As expected after the movie Jackson was being pulled into their shared bedroom and after the door was closed Mark turned to him with an understanding and serious expression.

            “Alright Jackson what’s going on?” He asked in English. “In the beginning I thought you were feeling very lonely and needed someone to take care of in your own weird way but then tonight you said that and I swear I could feel something poke my and-“ instead of letting him finish that sentence Jackson clasped a hand over his mouth. The Hong Kong native’s face was beet red he leaned his forehead against the other boy’s shoulder.

            “Ok first that was my phone and second why were you squirming around so much in the first place?” Mark tried to talk back but Jackson’s hand was still in front of his mouth preventing him from making a peep. “Also I’m sorry but I kinda maybe may have some feeling for you that kind of aren’t exactly just friends but may be a bit deeper.” Jackson said in a rushed tone and looked up again. His face and ears were completely red but then again so were Mark’s. “But it’s totally your fault, you with your stupid smile and stupid weird teeth and puppy eyes and too thin fingers.” By now he could tell that Mark had started smiling beneath the palm of his too warm hand and Jackson started gaping at him. “Oh my god you’re the worst!” Jackson shouted and released the other boy. “You’re actually aware of how cute you are, you little .” Immediately Mark burst out laughing. Jackson stayed serious for a second longer before he too started laughing.

After Mark had calmed down a bit he leant against the door and grabbed the front of Jackson’s shirt to pull him closer.

            “Jackson that has got to be the best confession I ever heard. Thank you.” The older boy said with a gentle smile. Jackson’s face fell though.

            “Just ‘thank you’? That’s you have to say?” the Hong Kong native asked in a disappointed voice. Mark pretended to think for a moment before he nodded once, still smiling at the younger boy. Jackson felt as if someone had stabbed him and wanted to pull away but the lithe fingers that were gripping his shirt pulled him forward and the pink mouth he had been dreaming of for weeks collided with his in a rather clumsy and painful way. Both boys pulled away from each other with a painful look on their face.

Their eyes locked again and Mark was the first one to speak up.

            “I think my lip is bleeding.” He said with a sheepish grin.

            “You’re such an idiot. A very charming one, but a huge idiot.” Jackson answered.

            “Well I must be an idiot for liking an idiot like you.” They smiled at each other for a moment then Jackson pulled Mark’s hand away from his mouth and tenderly kissed his bleeding bottom lip.

            “You taste like copper. But I like it. Probably because it’s you.” Jackson whispered against his lips.

            “Well you taste like stupid and I’m pretty sure I only like it because it’s you.” Mark replied. “But please stop glaring at Jinyounggie when he tries to touch me.” Jackson’s answer was a nervous laugh before he went in for another kiss. He would stop, not because Mark asked him to, but because if it wasn’t for the overly touchy relationship Mark and Jinyoung had Jackson would have never realised his feelings and he had to pay Jinyoung back somehow. The next time he tried to kiss his Mark he would definitely punch him though.