[-3]

It started out innocently enough, as everything else does. He didn’t understand it back then (two, three months ago?) because the lines of reality were a bit too blurry that night.

Jackson stood in the harsh lighting of the elevator, his eyes full of glass shards, stuck to the flashing red numbers. He couldn’t really remember the moment someone else got inside until there was a boy with his hood up standing next to him, but it was probably somewhere between the fourth and the tenth floor when the weight of his own body became too much.

Jackson hated elevators, hated tiny enclosed spaces and he hated his own life too, but it was supposed to be some time after midnight and he wanted nothing more but to sleep. His stomach ached with hunger and the boy next to him was supposed to be the last thing on his mind but Jackson watched his every movement with sharp eyes and his head hurt too much for him to breathe. There was something close to static inside his head, like every thought was replaced with a fly, circling around and around and around. He hurried outside as soon as the door opened, almost brushing against the boy’s arm. It was only when he was in the hallway, fingers clenching his keys too tightly, that he remembered that this was the last floor, there was nothing else above and he was the only one who exited the elevator.

But he slept for fifteen hours and Jaebum made him something delicious and there was a drama in the background when he typed on his laptop mechanically and it was only then that he realized that the boy had the same hoodie as he had. Not that there was anything too strange about it.

But he couldn’t find it anywhere. Even when he understood enough to search for it frantically.

[2]

„Hyung, “Jackson thought that his voice was strange, even to his own ears, and there were bruises on his arms, painful blotches running up to his shoulder he couldn‘t remember getting and everything was wrong wrong wrong, but Jaebum had nothing to do with it, he couldn’t see it, he couldn’t feel it when they hugged, couldn’t taste it when they kissed, so he tried to smile, looking away from Jaebum’s eyes.

“Do you think that, maybe, there’s something off about our apartment? Something not normal?” Jaebum just continued looking, his brow furrowed and Jackson wanted to go away because there was something in the air itself and he didn’t know if he’d be able to fall asleep ever again.

He jumped when Jaebum finally spoke. There’s someone else’s voice ringing in his ears.

“Well, there’s something wrong with the water pressure, I think. And the tap is leaking. Is that what you mean?”

No, he meant the feeling of someone looking at him all the time, the nightmares he’s having even when he’s awake, the constant feeing of wrongness, like someone has replaced all the oxygen in the air with chlorine gas.

But he only smiled, tried to smile, and Jaebum cuddled up to him and everything should’ve been okay but wasn’t.

[0]

Jaebum was his boyfriend, he was perfect and caring and sweet. But that didn’t explain why Jackson’s fingers were around his neck.