The surrounding darkness was cold and enclosed, shadows cast deep and impregnable in the shallow grey light. The muted touch of the rays wandered astray shafted through windows gnawed by time, fraying wood swollen and aching, softened and yet dry and brittle as if parched despite being drenched at the ocean bed. In the smattering of illumination, scattered shapes littered the floor, the pallor and weak pattern of the carpet a haze of monochrome. Bookcases lined the room, the leather of the tomes bloated but still clinging to their former selves, while their blood ran and stained the shelves black. Few ornaments had withstood the fall from the surface; a silver vase stood proud on the withered table top, despite its floral company disintegrating a long, long time ago. An ink well lay in patient waiting on the writing desk heading the room, a quill nib leaning on the rim, mourning its former feather plume. Leaning back in the chair, one hand on the desk and the other clutching a locket at its side was the captain, clothes faded to the tone of their surroundings, loose and coming apart at the seams, baggy around her skeletal frame.

Her ship had once been a grand one; one to rival the swiftest on the seas, a schooner with crystal white sails, opulent and noble, with a fine crew and a fine cause. Her ship, heading a fleet destined for the other side of the ocean, was cruelly stricken down, nature while in her beauty raining a tempest down upon her charge. And now, she along with her ship were locked in the time capsule of their fathomless resting place.

The timelessness was part of what attracted him to places like these. The ocean bed was a frigid and foreboding place, filled with frightful creatures, some he would go so far as to call abominations, somewhere so dangerous and endlessly lonely only the toughest of physique and resolve could go for fear for their lives and their sanity. Whenever he came across a wreck, it became his refuge, and after a while of aimlessly roaming the ocean floors he finally picked here, travelling back to sixteen twenty-two every time he swam in through the broken windows. He dragged his pearly fingers across the smooth leather binds, glancing out the window on into the midnight abyss. His company would be the captain for now.

-----

Tao was a curious creature. With ragged hair, glistening in its constant state of weightlessness; with stark brown eyes, framed by thin lashes and thick bands; with a gentle nose and bow shaped lips; with ears that hide behind them a shift from caramel skin to soft scales, gills emerging from his hairline and stretching down his neck. The smooth silver extends across his shoulders and from his nape past the first few knots of his spine, a few black spines protruding from each bump, only to fade back into unblemished skin; and then again retreat into scales past his elbows, pectoral fins lining his forearms, giving way for his nickname 'silver fingers', which eventually stuck as 'silver'. While his torso bore huge resemblance to that of a human, with broad shoulders, protruding collar bones and wing blades, toned muscles and smooth flesh, from his waist down smooth scales harden and splint, line of spikes appearing once more following the line of his tail bone, and one powerful beryl limb fans into a webbed, lithe, wondrously complex and yet utterly normal tail.

Tao would never know of the beauty humans paint his kind in with their legends and lore. To him, why, he grew up surrounded by a beauty unparalleled in human literature, and yet in its normality it quickly became mundane. The corals, every colour and pattern imaginable, had always been there, and to the merfolk, there was no reason for it to be any other way. Although appreciated, it was just nothing special. It was the same for the very vessel of their existence; although its marvellous beauty was appreciated, it was just nothing special.

Tao was utterly normal in his world. Utterly normal, utterly aware of it, and utterly bored of it. He was also utterly mortal; something he didn't quite understand yet, for death had never touched the boy's life, not through anyone he knew and he'd never even caught fish for himself. The merfolk had a fairly extended life span themselves, and it was within their own folklore that they once knew what it was to have the clock of their life never tick, however due to the descent of the mers from piety time quickened and their flesh aged. As generations passed their time became shorter and shorter.  Tao fancied these tales, though he cared not to admit it.

And then there was Kris. Kris with golden hair, sharp eyes, definitely a sharp body (one which Tao both loathed and admired), and scales which would merge flaxen with the sand if it weren't for the delicate way in which they winked and played with the light. His scales were marbled with all the shades of the sun itself, his dorsal feathered and delicately speckled with translucent opal, while the harp-shaped fan which webbed from the tip of his long, limber tail is said to have been a gift of reverence from the moon. His tanned upper body was more human than the rest; he had not a scale from the waist upwards, his gills were small and fleshy, barely noticeable. The complete opposite of Tao, who was more fish than filial.

Tao hated Kris. When Kris was surrounded by the other mers and he was left alone, he felt wave after wave of despair. Loneliness. Jealousy. He detested the cocky mer's unyielding popularity. Why did others have to follow him around like that? It was like watching a shoal of herring. Did he cry pearls or shed gems? Not bloody likely.

It was times like these, onlooking the group while he unsurely floated an awkward distance away that he felt as if he were alone. Being alone and feeling alone were completely different. There were many ways for Tao to entertain himself, but seeing people he cared for and who once cared for him with their eyes only for another hurt. He put it down to the man's magnetic looks. The dazzling crook of his lips as he told a story he knew would enrapture his audience. The glint in his eye when he talked about something that impassioned him. The endless tones to his tuneful voice. The pierce of his gaze when his attention locked in on you. Singled you out, pushed all the attention he received on you, as if turning a spotlight, making you feel like all eyes were on you when there were only his. That unwavering gaze with eyes deep as the ocean itself.

It was definitely his looks.

Tao knew that he was way more interesting than the pretty boy of the lagoon, but people just didn't listen long enough to find out. They were too wrapped up in the binds of the popular one, the shoal leader. Tao knew that when he rejected their beautiful master he resigned himself to his own company. If that was the way, he decided, so be it; there were plenty of things he could do by himself and with the few other misfits, it didn't matter.

The lagoon where he lived in his reasonably small community was beautiful as it was complex. The shallow water was crystal clear and sat in a bed shaped like an oyster, a small island with a forest of trees inhabiting it encrusting one corner. The main body was huge and unblemished, many shallow water creatures building their homes on the beaches of the island or in the corals of the reef within. The lagoon seemed as if a hand of rock had reached up from the ocean's depths and cupped life in its fingers; the pale rock cutting it off from much darker seas was barely peeping above the water, not a metre in the air to separate them from the deep sea. For some, it was merely a fence, which they could hop as they pleased. However, this rock was steadfast, and when ships were blown adrift in a storm it was easy to wreck on the near invisible husk of the lagoon. There were many a cave and crevice to explore in this barrier, something Tao entertained to pass the time. He didn't like going out of the water like many of the others did; the rocks were usually hot under the sun, rough and hard to the scale and an effort to climb onto if your arms weren't quite in ship shape like certain others in his company. The heat felt strange to the skin, unlike how it felt to bathe in the sun underwater. The rock pools were nice, and the beaches white and tempting, but it was not the place for Tao.

He had his eyes elsewhere. Somewhere vast, twilight blue and absolutely forbidden.

-----

Today was one of those days. Since the merfolk became mortal, the older generations have been passing on wisdom, knowledge and practicalities to the young and inexperienced. When old enough, they would be allowed to branch off into their own interests and pursue their own lifestyles- but until then, they were stuck in general studies, and today Tao was bored out of his mind. Today, all he wanted to do was bask in the middle of a dazzlingly coloured reef and watch fish of every daft design drift by. He wanted his sight to tingle with stimulation and touch numb with relaxation. But today was one of those days.

Tao didn't have much reason to think very highly of his classmates. They were all sat with their tails folded beneath them in a small basin of rock, while a distinguished elder yammered away lying on a thin jut of stone extended above them. The water's surface rippled and glimmered not a meter above her head, and Tao found himself fixated on that rather than anything the mermaid was saying. Some others in the rows before him seemed vaguely focussed on what she was talking about, some with concentrated frowns and others concentrating on not falling asleep. Tao was daydreaming about nothing in particular when he felt something small and blunt collide with the back of his head. Jolted forward slightly, he glanced over his shoulder only to see innocent faces. His eyebrows knitted together in annoyance. Someone was feigning. He turned to the front.

Again, a sharp thwack. Although pebbles didn't travel through the water quite like they could through the air (now that was always a spectacle- the difference of pretty much everything to do with the body when above the surface). Tao's back stiffened. Instead of looking back immediately, he delayed and shot a glance over his shoulder when he expected a third assault only to catch Yixing with a small stone fisted, ready to launch with his bottom lip in his teeth and eyebrows raised. Tao scoffed, though his shoulders dropped in the anticlimax. The blue-scaled goof hastily hid his ammunition behind his back, wiping the cheek from his face. Tao liked Yixing. He wasn't the smoothest nor was he the cleverest, but he was certainly the kindest. Well, he had his moments, and he wasn't unknown to get in a spat or two with some of the less agreeable mers, but when it came down to it, Tao liked Yixing.

“Tao?” Tao glanced up at their elder only to realise half the class were watching him expectantly. It seemed his attention had taken a couple of attempts to retrieve.

“Yes?” She pursed her lips and cast him a disapproving look, arms folding. He shrank slightly in his slump.

“I'll repeat myself-” Despite feeling a slight glow of embarrassment, Tao once again lost interest, answering her dull question with a dull answer.

The lecture came to a quick end with little disturbance after that. After the esteemed mermaid with such long hair it was the last of her to disappear through the stone archway had left, the class started a discussion of their own. Some swam to the close surface to have a small change of scene, some left- as Tao normally would now- and others stayed in their places, shuffling into a small circle. Today, Tao and Yixing slunk to the back of the shady basin, resting themselves next to an an aperture in the rock which overlooked the deep blue. Out here, they were on the edge of the lagoon. There were plenty of places here Tao liked to stare off into the wider world from.

“I'm going out there, Xing,” Tao sighed, staring out there absent-mindedly, elbow resting on the smooth rock of the opening with his chin perched on his palm. Nothing was out there, not right now, but he wanted nothing more than the stretch his tail and go on a journey, an adventure, have some time to himself to explore and be in wonderment and awe. He wanted to talk to dolphins from further shores and see what the sand was like on the other side. He wanted to see the caves of the dragons of the seas, and the ships docked on the ocean bed. But, most of all, he wanted to see a blue whale, and he held his breath at the thought of ever seeing its calf.

“You're joking,” Yixing laughed, slapping Tao on the back, forgetting his rougher scales were patched there a moment. He hissed, snatching his hand back to himself, eyeing Tao from the side. “...Although I doubt you'd see much trouble there- you look more like a siren than Chanyeol does.”

“Hey!” The only siren among the group lamented, a keen ear for his name. “At least I get legs out of water,” he mumbled, hunching his back in a huff. Others, interest piqued, nodded at his point. The conversation had perked a few listeners. While the wider group still nattered amongst themselves, Tao shifted uncomfortably at the new audience.

Turning his attention back to Yixing and trying not to let the spines on his neck prickle, Tao tried to convince his friend he was ready to embark on his own journey, despite what the other mers say. It was a distinct no-go area for the younger mers such as himself, even in a group. The lagoon was safe, they said; but Tao couldn't see past the wonders in his wild, wild dreams to notice the sharks lurking in nightmares.

Over the years, Yixing has always listened to Tao's ramblings and fanciful yearning, watched the way he stares into the twilight blue as if pining for someone dear. Yixing knew as children that the boy wanted nothing more than to see what he'd always imagined in the flesh, but now they were grown he began to worry about the lovesick Tao. He was ailing with adventure, and he knew exactly who had infected him.

“You should just go,” A silver tongue silenced the nattering. Tao had caught Kris' attention, something the former had never really appreciated, although Yixing couldn't see why. Tao had always resented it, no matter what it was that the other had to say.

Tao shot a dirty look at the other, despite the encouragement genuine enough to the others who were listening. “You think so?” He drawled, surprising Yixing with the sudden change in attitude. Not Kris, though; Kris was used to it.

“Yeah, why not? You've always liked those 'follow your heart' stories if life and lore class.” Another chirped, draping an arm over Kris' shoulders as he joined in, scarlet scales glittering in the shift, red coming to rest over gold. A few giggles tinted Tao's ears.

“Shut up, Baekhyun,” Tao mumbled without much conviction. At this point, there wasn't any point in blushing- it was true enough. He had cried enough of his dignity away when they heard 'the little mermaid'.

Kris chuckled, fins lightly wagging in the shallow water, chiming voice making Tao cringe.

“Actually, Silver, I think it's about time you stopped leaning out the window. I feel like you're going to fall out if you keep on like that.” Yixing clutched Tao's wrist, grabbing his attention from the deep blue window. He didn't want them prompting him now- he was one of the few who took Tao seriously, and right now, he felt as if Tao was threatening him with his departure rather than wistful longing.

“Come off it, he'd never actually.” Baekhyun earned a glare from the moody Tao, and Yixing inwardly swayed with despair.

“It's all I want- why wouldn't I?”

“Then why haven't you gone?”

“Don't egg him, Baek-”

“Why, you scared he'll go off in a huff and get eaten? Because that's what'll happen to you if you actually leave, Tao, by the way-”

Baekhyun felt himself get launched off Kris' back, and in a plume of sandy dust Tao was knocked against the wall at the slap of the harp of Kris' tail. The room was shocked into silence as the cloud settled where the blonde once was. Baekhyun looked as if he'd been slapped himself. “What's eating him?” he eventually mumbled, tail curling self-consciously beneath him. Eyes bore into the back of his head. Kris had vanished.

Yixing glanced at Tao, and couldn't quite tell what the muted man was thinking under the dark shadow of his fringe.

-----

“Ugh... This is so nice...”

Yixing lay with his arms stretched out beside him on the raised rocks, relaxing out on the heated platform, sun sizzling at his damp skin and warming his dead-weight tail. He groaned in lazed leisure. His russet hair was still sticking to his head; he hadn't been out of the water long, like the others. Flat-out and satisfied, he closed his eyes and soaked up the sunshine, savouring the way the hot rock tingled at his skin, steaming the water away, although not quite hot enough to scorch. The heat right after the effort of climbing up to the prime spot above the sands of the beach always addled him.

Kris was sitting on another slate slightly above the others with his tail stretched out in front of him, propped on one hand with the other in his lap. The tip of his tail slowly tapped the rock, every time it raised revealing a somewhat damp patch, while a pensive frown adorned his brow, corners of his lips slightly tugged down. He looked as if he was still brooding on earlier that day. Needless to say, Baekhyun was giving him some space and sat the other side of Yixing, looking a little uncomfortable with himself.

Chanyeol was taking a carefree stroll down the beach while a plum-purple tailed mer glowered at him, eyes narrowed in distinct envy at the bipedal being. He wanted to know what it was like to run along the shore, to have pale, slender legs with smooth skin and not a rough scale in sight. Baekhyun clicked his fingers in his eyeline, shaking him from the green daze he'd fallen into. Baekhyun smiled sympathetically. While Luhan burned with jealousy and wonder, it was something he'd never be able to experience. He just wasn't Chanyeol.

While the others sunbathed and generally lay about falling asleep, the few mermaids who decided to come out of the water hopped about the rock pools with surprising athleticism, giggling and making games together. They had been out for longer, and their whispy long hair was dry and frizzy from the salt of the sea.

Most of the young mers were there, colourful tails brightening the slate grey of the stone. Of course, except for Tao. He had never been a fan of coming out of the water. The solid spines on his tail and back made it difficult to relax on anything harder than sand when the weight of the surface bore down on him so. Sometimes he'd go onto the beach with Chanyeol, but not today.

For the most part, the usual dozy chatter up on the rocks buzzed. Yixing had fallen asleep, Baekhyun and Luhan talked quietly about nothing in particular. Kris scanned the lagoon and beyond it's shell fence. From here, the grey of the stone shined white, the shallow, crystal blue water a stark contrast to the twilight beyond their haven. A few birds fluttered in the trees behind them and floated above the horizon afar. A dark shadow surfaced in the water to the east of the lagoon.

Kris squinted at the fast swimming creature. As the teal glimmer picked up momentum, he pointed and shouted incredulously, “Hey- is that Silver?” Everyone's ears perked at the exclamation, even bringing Yixing from his drowsed flop and the mermaids from their chase to watch.

And sure enough, the mer in question burst forth in a great wave and a shower of glittering droplets into the air, flying up and up and arching over the wall of their haven, graceful, powerful, rippling, and gone in a blink of an eye.

A moment passed; then chaos erupted.

-----

He finally did it.

Tao was flying on a cloud; while his body soared through the open waters, adrenaline powering his incredible speed, every muscle pushed to the maximum, his heart had risen to glide with the birds above- why else could he feel the immeasurable heat of the sun burn within him, a great wind gusting against his fins as he sails his proud galleon of elation?

By the time he finally started to notice the ache in his muscles and strain on his lungs, the high that fogged his mind slowly clearing, Tao glanced behind him to notice he'd flown a lot further than he thought. Not a peep of his lagoon was in sight. This briefly paused his movement, the smile plastered on his face faltering (painfully, as his expression had been frozen like that by euphoria for a while now). He'd never seen his home from the outside, and in his haste, the thought to look back never even crossed his mind. I didn't have time- one chance, one life, right?

He quickly brushed the small chip off his shoulder and a new energy surged right to the tips of his tail as he rocketed on into the deep blue, no destination in mind; he wanted to go everywhere he could go, all at once, right that moment. He felt like he had all the time in the world but not a moment to lose.

He had been travelling mostly near the surface, the water mildly clear and calm. However, as he got further away from the lagoon, the waters became stronger and rougher, holding a commanding grip over the mer. Unused to the bold handling, he delved deeper into the water, finding himself into a slipstream anyway. At least it made it easier to swim swiftly, he thought.

He passed a few spectacles on his unguided journey, capturing his wild imagination which had been thirsting for a sip of the wine Tao's expectations had brewed; for one, he saw for the first time the smooth hull of a huge ship, followed by a sizeable fleet of barnacle-bottomed wooden vessels, what he imagined to be a seasoned and loyal fleet headed by a state-of-the-art admiral. The grandest taking the lead had windows looking out into the water just below the surface, sending Tao into a craze of excitement as he could look into the rooms and glimpse into the human world he knew so little about- in the flesh. His expression blossomed into unbridled awe as he saw a real human sitting at a desk with a quill and concentrated frown, two legs stretched under the mahogany with a tapping foot. Tao closed his eyes for a moment to try and imagine the clicking of the buckle and hollow tap on the wooden floor. He'd seen Chanyeol plenty of times walk the beach shore, but this was completely different, and on an otherworldly level for Tao, who was dying of curiosity more than ever as each window passed him by.

Even the creatures of the wider blues cast him deep into wonderment. Tao couldn't believe his eyes. The current carried him to a colossal formation of silver, glistening fish, suspended in an orb of gentle movement in a deep and otherwise empty blue. Undisturbed, the flashes of moonlight that glided so effortlessly this way and that, perfectly in sync, mesmerised the mer, never witnessing such a huge school of one creature in his entire life.

As the current took him closer and closer, Tao was stunned by the size of these fish, and how detailed their bodies were up close, rather than just a glimmer in the distance. Letting the current drag him towards them, his lips parted and almost began to gape in amazement, and as he was taken through the ivory-streaked fish he felt his hands raise of their own accord, dorsals fluttering against the stream. He reached out, let his fingers glide across the smooth skin of the magnificent creatures, absent-mindedly wondering if they even knew he was there, when at the touch of the pads of his digits he was given the shock of a lifetime.

The once docile fish passing him by scattered like darts in a frenzy around him. Heart pounding right into his throat, Tao began to feel panic rise within himself as the whole shoal went into a hysteria. The fish grouped together in tendrils and rushed at him, passing him inches away and spinning him with the wash created in the water, tossing and turning him until he couldn't tell up from down.

The berserk shoal eventually passed, Tao's dizzied beyond cohesion body dragged by the stream out of the main body of the storm of fish. The mer simply floated along in the current, still turning gently in the remaining momentum. He was absolutely addled beyond any sense. He could barely form the thoughts to wonder why the first incredible thing he witnessed turned into an incredible disaster. They must have thought he was a predator when he reached out to touch them in wonderment. He wouldn't make the same mistake twice; hands were kept strictly to himself.

As he felt his drained body turn again he craned his neck as he spotted a dark shadow coming towards him. Alarm struck through the giddiness as he saw how rapidly the black formation was approaching, turning quickly to heart-stopping terror as what emerged from the darkness was a beady-eyed, pointy-nosed, hungry-looking shark, coming straight for him.

He barely had any time to process his doom and plead for his life with whatever deity there may be before the monster was almost upon him, jaws stretched wide open to reveal rows upon rows of ragged, filthy teeth, rotting flesh stuck between one or two. He gaped in horror down the throat of the beast, truly believing the last thing he'd see was the bud of the shark's tonsil before his whole body shuddered to the core, eyes knitting shut to try and block out what he witnessed instead of what he thought was the inevitable. As the terrifying brute almost had him snapped up in its jaws, a behemoth mouth collided into its side, causing the image of Tao's death to instantly be whisked from his sight- only to be replaced with a sickening crunch and the passing body of the biggest shark he could ever have imagined, a sight which turned him a ghostly white as he clenched shut his eyes. By now he was trying with all his might not to pass out at the thought this titanic creature just had that huge predator for lunch, one whose open mouth could have swallowed Tao's pitiful frame whole.

Tao's body was almost convulsing he was shaking so hard, mouth juttering open and closed, hands grasping at his chest as if his heart would hammer out if he didn't hold it there. Finally the tail of the mammoth passed, the span three times the size of Tao from his head to the tips of his tail. The beast left behind a trail of crimson in the blue. Tao was left hyperventilating alone, no other being in the wide abyss.

-----

Although hard to imagine after nearly being swallowed whole, Tao had a bigger problem. It started off as a dull growl, but after a while- after what must have been a whole day of restless swimming- it was just impossible to ignore. Tao was hungry, and it was becoming more painful and debilitating by the minute.

He couldn't think straight any longer. He had brought a few snacks with him, tied small (dead, of course) fish around his waist with rope made from seaweed, but those were long ago devoured and seaweed-belt discarded in frustration. He needed to eat; he made a resolve to himself that he'd eat the next edible-looking thing that swam past, but every time a small group of fish dashed past he couldn't bring himself to catch anything. They were minding their own business, and when he eventually was driven to take a swipe, they fled in such terror he instantly felt guilt bubble up inside him, and an even deeper frustration that he was so soft. Shouldn't he just man up and feast? Even the crèche of turtles drifting happily by was turning his hungry eye, and it jabbed him inside. When did he ever look at a turtle like that- the same who would come and lay on the sands of the lagoon every year, who he would admire and help the babies make it to the water when they finally hatched? Would he snatch their life to preserve his own, commit what was almost committed to him?

Opportunity after opportunity passed him by. Until, that is, he finally snapped.

The flesh of the struggling squid tasted so bitter as he tried to ignore the squeals of the writhing body trapped in his grasp.

-----

The real ocean wide was far beyond the reaches of his imagination. Out here, he'd experienced the ultimate, a heaven and hell he never dreamed of. The ultimate high, the ultimate low, the struggle of finding food and eventually shelter when he just couldn't keep exploring any longer. By now he'd managed to delve to the ocean bed, somewhere he was beginning to think he'd never find it took so long. It got darker and darker down there, but luckily he was no-where near where the light really couldn't penetrate; even he knew that would take months of swimming, not to mention a death-wish. His shallows-built body would be crushed in that kind of pressure. It was bad enough where he was; his swimming was sloth-like and every move took ten times the effort than before. There were bizarre creatures here, some which made him jump and others dry-heave. He had a particular shock when what he thought was a rock tried to snap his fingers off. Eventually he found a relatively uninhabited, tiny cave to slink into like a crab receding into its shell. He shivered as he backed himself into one of the cave's veins. His tough scales scraped against the sandpaper walls. The crevice was claustrophobic and so, so cold. He resigned himself to losing the sensation in his tail for a night in order to get some sleep undisturbed. He couldn't keep his eyes open, although he felt as if he should sleep with one staring wide. He fell into a fitful sleep, on edge and frightfully alone.

He woke up with a few small creatures attached to his tail and arms. He peeled the limpet-like creatures from his arms but despairingly admitted defeat when it came to his tail, which even had a starfish attached to it. His fins had some kind of seaweed-coral stuck to them, floating around him like some kind of cloth garment. Now he understood what the hull of the ships were burdened with.

After that much needed rest, however light his periods of sleep- he had entirely lost track of time, but he knew he'd been away a long stretch now- he decided to continue along the ocean bed, slow swish of his heavy, armoured tail billowing clouds of sand in his wake. While most of the creatures down here struck him with fear, his morbid curiosity got the better of him and he found himself locked in constant fascination, to the point that every hit became duller, fear coming under his control more and more. While he wasn't one to defend himself well, he learned how to give a scare back, with a bristling of spines and displaying of fangs with a fire in his eyes. He quickly discovered many of the creatures were more bark than bite.

Tao's spirits had been broken. By the good and the bad, it was true; but the fact remained that Tao's nose was practically pushing a trench in the sand the way he kept his head down. He only looked up when he swam from light into dark. He slowly lifted his eyes to see the thing which was casting such an opaque shadow was a regal, tranquil, dolorous ship, anchored in its final resting place.

He stopped and stared, floating for who knows how long as he took in the stoic wreck. The fraying linen of the sails hung like a mist around the mast. What caught his attention the most was the figurehead; while it lost its colour long ago, Tao was fascinated to see a fabulously detailed sculpture of a mermaid, with long hair and long, intricate tail. Her face seemed eerily familiar. But that couldn't be possible- this wreck looked hundreds of years old. Perhaps a distant relative? Tao pondered.

Shaking himself from his reverie, he slowly approached the ship, circling around the hull, wondering whether he should go in through the trap door to the hold or through one of the shattered windows. He's never seen a ship in its entirety before, not in the way he could from any angle he wished, as if he were a bird, or one of the humans themselves.

Opting for what he considered a short cut, he found a window with no glass at all and drifted in with a push of his tail, trying to be careful not to disturb anything; he wanted to see it for exactly what it was.

There was very little light filtering into the room. He took a long, decisive look around the room, eyes adjusting the more he poked around. He began to see the book cases and bloated tomes- trailing a curious finger or two across the embossed patterns in the leather spines; a desk with not much on it, things scattered on the floor while only certain brave ornaments remained standing proudly on their place. He saw a tarnished silver vase and wondered what used to be held in it. He turned and came to inspect the desk; finally seeing a skeleton sitting at it made him insist he could feel a cold finger trail up his spine, making his shiver. He felt as if it was staring at him. He could feel eyes on him. Shrugging the feeling off, he continued to peruse, and as he was deciding to move on to another room he turned around.

Tao shrieked.

He'd felt eyes on his back, but when he turned around he expected something like a curious fish or a small shark. He never anticipated having large, honey eyes stare back at him, mere feet away. He immediately billowed backwards, disturbing ancient dust as he curled his tail in front of himself defensively, spines bristling upright on the tensing limb; and although he took fright at the sudden appearance of the being, those strange eyes drew him in, and he couldn't stop staring at the way the honey was shot with rays of grey and violet. The stranger's lashes were as white as his ghostly skin, his hair the last thing with colour apart from his curious eyes; even then, it was faded and dull, almost invisible in the low light if not for the movement in the ocean. His tail reminded Tao of the lagoon, irking him.

“Are you a siren?”

“No.”

“So you're a merman?”

He nodded. Tao inwardly rolled his eyes at himself. He was surprised he had a voice at all, but he wasn't exactly putting it to great use. The spikes on his back and tail relaxed and lowered a fraction, although the stranger's appearance still made his skin creep.

There was a pregnant silence between the two of them. They just stared at each other, perfectly surprised to see another of their shallows-dwelling kind at the bottom of the fathomless seas. Tao's tail lowered and his curiosity heightened.

“Had a good look?” Tao jumped at the sudden break of the quiet, broken out of the catalepsy he'd slipped into. His cheeks darkened; he'd clearly been staring.

“I, I...” He managed to squeak out.

“No worries. I sometimes scare myself if I catch my reflection in something still left with shine on these ships.” Tao hesitantly nodded, diverting his eyes. “I used to look like you, you know.” Tao's eyes, which had taken to watching his nervous fingers play, shot up to meet the mer's sad gaze, shock turning to pity at the brief display. While he didn't mean to pry, the question was in his eyes and the slow wag of his tail, and the stranger noticed. “This is price I pay to go where none have seen before; to go where no light follows.” He said. I am a shadow of myself, Tao heard. No longer afraid yet still entranced by the stranger's unique looks, he couldn't resist reaching out to touch a silver hand to a pearly white chest. His eyes swam with wonder and mouth slightly parted at how his gleaming scales were still outshined by the pallor of the other's skin. “My skin pleased the sun and my hair the night. My eyes were black and my tail the colour of the emeralds lost in the hold of this very ship.” Tao's eyes wandered back up to the stranger's, seeing something different, wistful and sentimental about them as they looked into his own. Tao felt as if the mer was seeing something in him; something he couldn't understand or even begin to see himself. He began to feel a soft thump under his fingers, and realising how close they had become, he quickly retracted his hand and lowered his eyes again, tail slinking close underneath himself.

“What are you doing out here, then? Are you lost? Separated, perhaps?”

“Well...” The stranger's tone had caught Tao off guard, making him falter in his unease. “Really, I've always wanted to explore, but now I'm out here, I'm not exactly sure. I felt released when I left, but after wandering for a while...” His eyes were cast to the side, fixing on the inert captain. He caught a glimpse of the suspended locket. I began to lose purpose... and feel lonely again.

-----

“So... What's your name?”

Although they had talked for a while now and loosened up, a sense of normality forming between the loners, melancholy clouded the mer's expression at the mention. After a moment, a decision seemed to have been made.

“Heenjabuja.”

Tao surprised himself with his reluctance when the natural time to part came between them. Tao, who had been intruding on where the other had been residing, found he didn't want to part; and yet, turned and sulked away, deciding it was best not to look back as he his tail in the still and heavy water. He had further adventures to embark on, he told himself, and he needed to get moving. And so, again, he pressed on into the dark with his hair dragging and fins fluttering, anxiety which had been threatening to break through worming its way into his hard resolve, seed planted and purpose shaken at its core. Having come back into contact with a mer, leaving them again was ten times harder, as if something anchored him there even though he'd only met the other in that very moment. Seeing such a familiar yet alien face made him think of his parents, Yixing, Chanyeol, even Kris. Leaving Heenjabuja was like leaving all of his loved ones all over again, and he realised exactly what that meant to him.

“I was bright with inquisitiveness and bold with enterprise, but I began to fade away inside and out the longer I wandered, and yet the longer I was gone the harder it was to go back. I can't go back now; now that I'm a wraith.”

Now he just wished he'd said goodbye.

-----

Tao didn't get far. He felt that somehow, he never did before something happened.

This time, what stilled him was a sight which washed his mind entirely blank. He'd never even heard the likes of it described in lore and legend. He never knew such a thing could exist before he happened across it by pure chance. Right then, Tao learned there are some things which can't be imagined, only experienced. He stared with eyes glazed over into the midst of thousands upon thousands of luminous, translucent, bell-shaped things, long tresses trailing below the strange blue-tinted flesh through which he could see a glowing flame in the centre. He could see straight through the creatures. What held him frigid now was the thought the copper glow in the blue was their heart. It must be, echoed around his head.

He knew better than to approach such a swarm by now, and was perfectly content to gaze from afar. The creatures lit up the ocean wide, like delicate Chinese lanterns set free into the night sky. As he observed, he noticed how the fierce orange glow was linked to the thick rim of the bell by several smooth chords, which stood out in the softer blue. The long, spindly tentacles were slim and elegant, some frilled, some fluid, all glossy and waving in the gentle swell of the waters. This tickled Tao; it reminded him of the mermaids' hair back at the lagoon.

Glancing down at himself, he saw how the light of the colony tinted his skin and made his scales shine. It was different to the sun or the moon. It warmed him; only to remind him that until then, he had gone so terribly cold, without even noticing. The thought crept and lingered over his tingling skin.

The jellyfish (what else could he call such squishy-looking sea creatures?) enraptured him. At first, he thought they were all the same; it was their combined beauty which set him at awe. But then, looking closer, he saw the tiny discrepancies which set them apart from each other, and saw them for their own uniqueness, no one quite the same despite their vast number. Not one glowed brighter than the other; they held a kind of harmony which set the mer at ease, tranquillity washing through him right to his aching bones.

Tao began to wonder if he'd ever given such consideration to his own little community as he just had to a colony of mysterious blobs.

His mind wandered as he watched and watched. He'd never considered himself the deepest of thinkers, but just then, he felt as if the puzzles of his heart were slowly shifting and locking as he held his pensive gaze. He felt questions he never knew he'd asked find their answers. He felt enlightened. He felt empowered. He felt moved.

“I know what you felt like; what you feel now. And I know what you'll feel like very soon. That troubles me.”

He wondered if Heenjabuja ever had anything to go back to, and why he chose the path that he did.

-----

He hadn't quite expected the welcome back that he got when he finally returned home. His arrival was met with severe reprimands, and despite all he'd seen, all he'd learned, and heck, what he'd survived, he knew he was in deep trouble.

The reactions of his classmates were mixed. He'd only been gone a few days- at least, that's what he estimated- but the others had quickly assumed the worst. Even those putting up a strong front on his behalf had no heart or conviction behind their stance, a solemn face to their defences of “He's alright” and “he's tough enough after what we've put him through”. Yixing was a frightful mess for Tao to deal with, leaving him with a pang of guilt in his chest although he had convinced himself anything was worth the experience he'd had; at least Tao now truly understood just how important these mers were to him. He'd never been hugged so much in his life, shed so many tears, seen so many tears shed.

And then he'd bumped into the blond he dreaded seeing the most.

He was floating in a shadowed part of the lagoon, next to one of the tall stone walls. Tao was passing on his way home in the evening, to his personal shelter in the caves to be alone after the hectic day he'd had. No such peace was in his luck.

“You came back.” His faint voice forced Tao to strain his ears. He was a few metres away, his back to the source of so much heartache for so long.

“Of course I did.” Puzzled, Tao forgot how Kris hasn't earned the right to hear his concern and didn't assume his old 'irritated at your existence' tone with the mer.

Of course, Tao instantly regretted it when he felt a surprisingly nasty fist connect with his jaw. Crying out, he nursed the tender flesh, frowning in astonishment and looking the furious mer up and down for an explanation. His anger quickly faded when he saw the face that was so close to his- the normally radiant face was scrunched with hurt, eyes tightened with distress and jaw clenched has his chest heaved and vocals trembled. If they were above the surface, Tao knew very well the other would be in floods of tears. He'd never seen Kris like this, and it shocked him deeply. Why was he like this?

“Why would you do that?” Kris screamed through locked teeth. Tao was too lost in the turmoil of the blond's eyes to answer. “Why would you leave? By yourself!” Kris was gesturing madly and letting his voice go as he regained his outrage. “It's so dangerous! I didn't think you- you- would be so inconsiderate,” he spat.

Tao was completely taken aback. It was as if, in that moment, there was a mirror in Kris' eyes, and Tao saw exactly how he treated Kris, whether he accepted it or not; but nonetheless, the words came tumbling out. “I'm always inconsiderate,” he replied bluntly, although his bruising cheek hurt to utilise. His clouded brain didn't register what he was saying at all. “When have I ever been nice to you, Kris?” He asked, confounded. Tao's tail curled insecurely below him, helixing tightly.

Kris rolled his eyes so hard his head circled. “No Tao, you're just an . At least, the Tao I know is. Why would I take your idiocy personally?” Tao looked at him dumbly, not having a response. “That's just how you communicate with me, you seamonkey.” Kris mustered a small smile in his flustered state, voice soft with what Tao could have sworn was affection.

Tao wasn't sure when Kris had taken his shoulders, but suddenly the contact burned his flesh. He couldn't pin what it was, but he was pretty sure it was shame that broiled up from his chest to scorch at the man's palms on his skin. He knocked off a hand grumpily, looking away from the concerned blond. He couldn't fathom why Kris was behaving like this, as if Tao never coming back would grieve him- looking back, wasn't he a royal pain in the arse?

He winced in pain when the hand he swatted roughly took his injured chin and turned him to face the mer that was making him feel guilt the most. “Tao, if you dare try and leave again- if you come back- I promise won't hold back when I beat you. I won't feel like I've lost a friend for a third time.”

And in a flash, Tao was left wallowing in a cloud of sand and self-doubt.

-----

Tao had to get away after that. While there was a satisfied part of him that just wanted to mooch around the lagoon with a new perspective and grow from his experience of a lifetime, the other side of him which had been flipped up-side-down overrode any sensibility he had left; before he knew it, he was swimming again, as directionless and confused as ever before.

He knew his second escapade so soon after the first would cause huge drama when he yet again returned, but he needed some space to think and the lagoon was just so tiny after he discovered just how astronomical the world was. For a moment he forgot that homesickness, that longing, that hardship, failing to heed Heenjabuja's warnings. Once he got the itch, there was no sating it.

That being said, he knew his only protection was a bubble, one loneliness or inadequacy would pop eventually. And he didn't need to leave the lagoon to know how that felt sometimes.

To shake the deja-vu Tao had to put it down to muscle memory; but then again, he couldn't possibly have returned in a few hours what he trawled over days before. None the less, here he was, floating in the deeply familiar deep blue.

Two curious creatures floated before each other.

Tao watched the tiny, softly glowing jellyfish with a tender gaze. Fondly, he let himself draw closer, feeling strangely attached to the lonesome blob. It must have gotten separated from the others somehow, because it was a solitary beacon in the darkness. He related to the invertebrate.

Tao's forehead lined, creased, furrowed as the jelly's copper heart began to pulse faster and faster. Something strange was happening to the little thing, and Tao felt his own heart rate quicken alongside it.

Horrified and oddly fascinated, he watched frozen as the plump film of the jelly's skin began to shrivel and the translucent flesh inside deteriorate. It was as if it were ageing and dying before his very eyes. While he wasn't sure if he was ready to witness such a thing, he couldn't bring himself to look away; what he saw made his jaw slack and eyes nearly pop out of their sockets.

The jellyfish had collapsed in on itself, but something had changed. It wasn't deceased, as Tao had resigned himself to expect; rather, a tiny polyp floated in front of him, a babe where the medusa had been. Tao blinked. He'd found the phoenix of the seven seas.

Tao was sent into a deep trance, his eyes glazing over. The world blurred around the merman, as if nothing was important enough to register any more. Since he couldn't quite register what he'd just witnessed, he switched off instead while his mind processed in the background during power-down. His blank stare failed to perturb the tiny jelly, which minded its own business, innocently hovering with not a care in mind. It had no idea what it had just set off in the other's head.

If his observation was correct (scientific Tao reasoned,) this glob was immortal. If it could revert back to a previous state when the going got tough, that- technically- left infinite possibilities.

Philosophical Tao reared his ugly head (in scientific Tao's opinion). Mortality aside, this fish was the living embodiment of reinvention and growth. In it's fragile frame, Tao witnessed something let go of every single thing in it's past, effectively cleansing it and returning it to it's original state. Original? A new, fresh, unburdened state, with a clean slate and energy to start again.

In it's fragile frame, Tao witnessed what it meant to be never too late. Tao had a chance. A chance to start again; a chance he had to take.

Maybe he always knew, but could never quite see it before.

Maybe legacy is the real immortality of the mortal realm.

He knew what he had to do.

-----

“...Kris, can I talk to you for a second?”