(5 years ago)

“Seohyun ah!”

Eunhyuk rushed to the limp body on the floor. He rushed here the minute Kyuhyun broke the news to him. He knew his sister, she must be waiting. Waiting for Kyuhyun to go back to her.

And he was right. Luckily, Seohyun gave Hyoyeon a set of spare keys the other time to their home. The moment he stepped into their white apartment, he knew something wasn’t right. The stale air welcomed him, with a hint of alcohol reek. His eyes searched for any hint of life.

There she was, lying on the kitchen, eyes closed. Limp and lifeless. Their wedding photo in her hands.

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He had always been protective of his baby sister. When she told him she was marrying, he was upset at the thought of sending his baby sister away. He felt the responsibility, like he was her father, as he stood up to the role when their parents passed away. But he knew Kyuhyun, or so he thought, and he trusted Kyuhyun with her.

He was the one who led her down the aisle on her wedding day like what a father should and also the one who cried like a typical bride’s mother, weeping and sobbing, unable to let her baby sister go.

And the moment he saw the tear stained cheek of his lifeless sister, he knew he was wrong. Why did he let her go to Kyuhyun? Why didn’t he object to their marriage? He should know they were still young and aren’t ready for the commitment.

Seohyun had always been a prized sister. Boys surrounding her, and him too, to get her number, to win her affections. But her sister was a quiet and shy reserved girl towards people that she are not acquainted to. She was a cute and bubbly girl, who blossomed like a flower as she grow. She was witty and hardworking, coming in first in the exams every time without fail.

They were like a fairytale come true.

Kyuhyun was the school’s heartthrob, and Seohyun was the goddess. One day, he realized Seohyun started to wear clothes she never wore even when Umma bought them for her and started letting her hair down when she always tied them up in a ponytail “my hair affects me from concentrating, they fall all over the place” when he made her put them down to show how pretty she was with her brown locks falling over her shoulders. Then one day, Seohyun brought Kyuhyun back home, with her hands in his, smiling blissfully.

He likes Kyuhyun too. He was a perfect match for his baby sister. He stood by and helped when their parents died in the car crash, like a son, he took care of the funeral arrangements with himself and stood by Seohyun at her weakest. For that difficult period of time, he was the one who stood by his sister and took care of her.

“Hyukkie Oppa…”

She called out to the figure dozing beside her hospital bed.

“Our baby you finally woke up. Promise Oppa you won’t do this anymore do you understand? Oppa only have you left, I can’t let you go too.”

He held her hands in his, looking into the eyes of the girl who was found in the kitchen, fainted due to fatigue and hunger. She was there, waiting when he left, till he found her two days later after he heard the news.

With her baby. Their baby.

“Seohyun ah, does he know?”

He tried to ask her as tactfully as possible. She was two months pregnant, and he had to heard it from the doctor.

She stared into the waiting eyes of her Oppa. She knew he couldn’t hide from him. She shook her head silently.

“Seohyun ah…”

He felt his heart clenched together. He wanted the best for his baby sister. He had not dreamt of this scene ever, that she will be alone, pregnant with a baby when the father left.

“Do you want me to tell him? He will come back, I am sure he will.”

He went on carefully, trying to avoid mentioning his name.

“Oppa, I waited for two days for him to come back to me, tell me he was sorry, and that he was lying. I begged him to stay, and I would accept him back even if he was lying that he still loves me. But he didn’t. Oppa, he left. He never came back. I know his heart is not with me anymore.”

She smiled as she rubbed her belly.

“He doesn’t need to know about anything. This is my baby, and I will be bringing him to the world alone. Oppa, you will help me too right?”

He knows she is putting up a strong front for him, he knew she wanted him not to worry. And he’s not going to break all her strength, but it was too painful for him too. He knew she was weak at heart, and she is going to break down the moment he left. And that’s what he wants now, for her to let herself cry everything out, instead of keeping everything to herself.

“Oppa understands, and of course, Oppa will support and help you in whatever you do. Oppa will go and fetch Hyoyeon Unnie here now, she is dead worried about you. Wait for me to be back, I will bring delicious food for you.”

He stood outside the door, and seconds later, he could hear her tears. His fist clenched, and he told himself.

The moment her Hyukkie Oppa stepped out of the room, she let her tears fall. She started sobbing uncontrollably, she felt herself unable to breathe and she had to gasp for air.

To breathe. So it if feels like that to be able to breathe again.

She thought he would come back. And scooped her up in his arms, apologizing profusely like he always do when he did something wrong. For the past two days, she had been thinking what did she do wrongly. He was always busy with his work, and they didn’t even had the time to talk, rather than to habe any quarrels.

And after all, she realized that the only reason for his leaving was that he didn’t love her anymore.

She rubbed her belly as she felt the life in it, squirming around. She wanted to give up everything, when her everything left her.

But her baby was innocent. Her baby was there because they were in love and they were making love. Or she may thought at the period of time, that he was still in love with her.

Even though her baby will be born without a father, she had to bring her baby to the world.

Time seemed to pass fast enough.

Hyoyeon and Eunhyuk brought her back to Daegu and took care of her. She told Eunhyuk to engage a lawyer and let her be the one who end of the marriage by sending the papers to ‘that person’. They were used to calling him ‘that person’, as if it was a taboo. She signed off the papers for a mutual divorce, without any money or assets that he wanted to give to her. She didn’t want to have anything to do with him anymore.

Like strangers, she told herself. It’s going to be tough and difficult. It’s going to be painful, but she is going to make him disappear from her life.

Hyoyeon and Eunhyuk were always fussing around her. They fed her up, heeding to her pregnancy craves even in the middle of the night, brought her along to their dates and spoiling her with whatever she showed interest in.

They stood by her and when she delivered her baby boy. It wasn’t a smooth delivery and she was losing a lot of blood. She was almost gone, Unnie told her after that, and Hyukkie Oppa almost went with me. She was hospitalized for a month before she could go back home and start a new life with her baby boy.

She named him Kyujae. And she wanted to let him follow her family name. But Hyoyeon told her that ‘that person’ was still Kyujae’s father, and it is easier for us to tell Kyujae about his father’s disappearing act when he grows up, rather than telling him his father doesn’t exist.

Kyujae grew up to be a fine boy. Although it was obvious that he carries the features of his father so perfectly, no one had ever talked about it. He was the treasure, the life in the family, where everyone spoils and fuss about him, showering him with all the care and concern in the world. To make up for his loss: his non-existent father since his birth.

(present)

“Seohyun ah, are you sure you want to continue with the project?”

Her Hyoyeon Unnie was worried sick.

“Taeyeon Unnie says it’s okay to back out, but why should I hide and at the same time making TT Talents lose so much money because of me? It’s been five years, and I am up for it. I am not who I am five years ago aren’t I?”

“Of course I believe you can but Seohyun ah, your Hyukkie Oppa…”

“He doesn’t have to know. A month later after the project, I will be back in Japan. Don’t worry Unnie.”

I can do it, she told herself.

There’s nothing left for her to fear anymore.