As the half-term holidays rolled around, school was busy and with Sora in a fever pitch of excitement about the upcoming trip, there wasn't much time to think about stuff, which was good because for once, I didn't want to think about anything anyway.

I finger combed my wild hair and layed on my bed. Letting my thoughts whizz around while I stared on the windows. It had been one of those days when shafts of sunlight probe their way through the clouds to point down at the earth. My mind settled on Kyungsoo, the expression on his face, the suspicion in his eyes. I sighed, I haven't gone back since then, and that resulted to me, ignoring Luhan's phone calls too.

My phone rang, interrupting me with my thoughts. It was Sora. She called to ask what I was packing, and I geniunely didn't know what she was talking about.

"It's half-term, remember?" 

"Oh," was all I could say. I flicked through my desk calendar.

"Oh my God, I totally forgot! We're going to Okinawa, like, tomorrow!"

"Uh, I've been handing out checklists constantly with your friend, Luhan. We've been talking about nothing else last time, like yesterday — hellooo? And you're supposed to be coming over to stay the night and we're going to the airport together, remember?"

I ran my pen over the days in my calendar. "I had the dates wrong in my head. God, this is so not like me."

"That's because you've been stressing yourself over nothing the past few days." 

And I felt bitter, what happened the past few days, weren't nothing at all. And yet, I'm starting to take Sora's words to heart. I was over-reacting. Maybe.

I shook my head, "Maybe I'm just stupid." I mumbled.

"Where did that come from?" I shrugged, not that she could see me.

"I just don't know what's going on inside my head anymore, that ever happened to you?"

"Like all the time. Look, this trip will be good for you, Hana. It's time to at least give yourself a break. Can we talk about this later? Like, you have to be here getting ready."

"Okay, okay." I glanced around my room and groaned. My clothes were all over the floor — I hated how messy it was, but trying to find the right clothes took up way too much time every morning for me to be able to clean up after myself. 

"I have no idea what to bring, Sora."

"Don't worry, it's gonna be warm there so I suggest you bring thinner clothes."

My stomach lurched as I thought about what it was going to be like when I was showing so much — in front of those boys — 

"I have to go now. Be here, quick, kay?" she hung up, breaking my thoughts.

Normally, I wouldn't feel this conscious about myself if it was just us and now that I think about it, 
why am I hesitating?

I grabbed some tank top and shorts from the laundry basket and folded up a few things I could bring for myself. I wondered how Luhan got to drag Jongin and —especially — Kyungsoo into this crazy group trip fiasco. Or if they'll be coming at all.

I checked the weather in Okinawa on the internet  — warmer than normal for this time of year, but cool in the evening — and wrote a list of all the last-minute details.

I gathered everything into a suitcase and called Mom. She wasn't answering her phone so I left a message asking her to give me a call later. I did one last visual sweep of the house before locking it down.

I put the money in my pocket, glad I had some left over to my account from my previous part-time job. I also found out online that my bank card would work over there, then I had only a few more bits and places to finish off —and I'd be ready.

And so far, I hadn't let the thought that Do Kyungsoo going on a trip with us distract me. Well, not too much, anyway.

* * * 

Sora and I laughed together like we hadn't done in ages, she did my nails — which were just plain horrbile before — and lent me some of her designer's clothes. We lay around on her bed and chatted, and as I drifted I felt like the worries, the tension with the guys — Sehun and Kyungsoo, the car wreck, all of it was just a bad dream.

When we woke up the next morning, it was so early that the sun was just breaking into the sky. I spotted Sehun's car as soon as I step out of the house and waved politely. He nodded in acknowledgement.

Stepping out of his car, he strodded towards me to help me with the luggage. "Hey, Kim Hana — how's the neurosis?" Sehun remarked, his eyes dead from any emotion. "Any new ones I should be aware of?"

"Hey, Oh Sehun, still being a jerk, huh?" he ignored me, obviously, I wanted to kick him in the shin. 

Sora interrupted us and tried to look stern. I didn't even notice that she was just behind me.

"Sehun that's enough, okay? You're really going to stale on us here."

"Whatever. I'll just find another ride —" I said quickly but Sehun grabbed my arm and steered me into the backseat.

"Okay, I'll do penance. I promise. Geez. You girls are so touchy today!" 

"Oww! That hurts you know!"

"It was a joke," he said. "Relax"

"It's all a joke to you, Sehun." He climbed in and slammed his door. "Well, I'm not laughing. None of it's funny to me." I retorted.

"I sure hope this trip will put that gorilla in the back seat in a better mood. And if you don't mind me saying so, Kim Hana, you look like hell."

"Thank for the compliment." I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, it's not a compliment. Don't get too cocky."

"Oh please —" again, I rolled my eyes.

Sora held up her hands.

"Wait a minute here. What is happening to us? We used to get along so well —"

"Ask Miss High and Mighty," Sehun grunted. "Hanging around with the wealthy set now, maybe she's too good for us —"

"Oh, I'm just a lowly tutor," I reminded him. "Just one of the help."

"Yeah, well, I wish it'd help your attitude —"

"My attitude?" I scoffed, "Look, I'm not the one who's been —"

"Just forget it, okay, Hana? I can't take all the craziness anymore. So let's just stay out of each other's way, and when you decide to join the human race again —

"Don't give me that crap now, Oh Sehun, how about you? When will stop acting so immature? —"

"Stop it! Both of you!" Sora covered her ears and glared at both of us.

"Sehun, just let up, okay? And Hana, just don't listen to him." She smiled, setting back in her seat. "And then we'll all be happy. See how easy it is?"

I pushed a hair back before closing my eyes and leaning my head against the car window, not speaking again until we get to the airport.

When we arrived at the airport, none of the boys were there yet. I checked the time on my phone, we still have twenty minutes, they're probably on the way. I silently thought.

I waited and waited, pretending to myself the whole time that I wasn't checking around for any of them.

"Are you sure they're not going to ditch on us?" Sora asked.

"I surely hope not." I whispered.

"Boarding will start from this gate at nine forty-five," Sehun finally said, handing over the papers, which were all neatly bound in a little jacket, we haven't spoken since our little tongue brawl this morning.

The airport buzzed with the constant chatter of people passing through.