In this part I used the lyrics to Gnash’s song called I hate u, I love u since I think it pretty much the song for this chapter.

Disclaimer: I do not own this song or these lyrics, I am only using it as a muse …

If you see any errors its because I'm writing at 1:55am so yeah please ignore them for now :)... 

A Few Months Later:

I look around the room with a smile on my face as I listen to the screams of the fans surrounding the stage, their shout’s of excitement echoing around me in pure enchantment. I sit down calming my heart so that once the lights turn on and I’m shown, I can get right into singing… 

Feeling used

But I'm

Still missing you

And I can't

See the end of this

Just wanna feel your kiss

Against my lips

And now all this time

Is passing by

I remember the day where I was left crying as I heard his declaration to his label mates that I was nothing but a game to show that the fierce girl everyone saw was nothing but a naive little girl…

But I still can't seem to tell you why

It hurts me every time I see you

Realize how much I need you

I hate you I love you

I hate that I love you

I remember looking down with tears running down my face as I ripped out pages and pages of us declaring our love to one another in our photos together, in the letter’s we wrote when we couldn't see one another because one or both of us were in different countries…

Wedding bells were just alarms

Caution tape around my heart

You ever wonder what we could have been?

Always missing people that I shouldn't be missing

Sometimes you gotta burn some bridges just to create some distance

I know that I control my thoughts and I should stop reminiscing

But I learned from my dad that it's good to have feelings

When love and trust are gone

I guess this is moving on

Everyone I do right does me wrong

So every lonely night, I sing this song

I remember lying in my bed with tears running down the side of my face as I think of why, with thoughts rolling around my head of being unworthy of receiving his love, of being wanted, of having a happily ever after…

I hate you I love you

I hate that I love you

Don't want to, but I can't put

Nobody else above you

I hate you I love you

I hate that I want you

I remember our whispers to each other, declaring our love for one another that was nothing from the heart, from my heart only…

As the song finishes and I trail off I open my eyes to stare into the quite sea of fans before they start yelling again, this time more loudly than before. I see that some of the fans are crying while others are shouting at me to be strong making my heart beat in happiness at the fans love for me. I stand and bow before moving off the stage where the fans start to yell my name even louder. I wish I could go back out there and just talk and sing with them, but I cant as this isn’t my solo concert, but a concert that I am sharing with other artists from different entertainment companies. I walk down the stairs with thoughts rolling around my head without really taking notice on the people who were directing me back towards my dressing room.

As the many thoughts roll around my head I fail to notice that someone had stepped into my path until it was too late and I had nearly bounced off the wall like object that I had walked into. I bow in apology before looking up to see that it was no one other than Kai, my ex-boyfriend. I smile at him while muttering a sorry, noticing his closed off expression while internally knowing that he had intentionally put himself in front of my pathway for the sole purpose of getting my attention, for what reason, I don’t know. I bow in greeting before moving to the side so that I could pass him hoping that I don't see anyone else from his group as it’ll mean that I would have to stay and talk to them. Something that will definitely be awkward considering how I ended up ignoring them whenever they tried to get a hold of me.

I move a step to bump into someone again knowing that I was too late to leave as the person that I had bumped into was no one other than Sehun, who was standing behind Kai, and I knew that if I looked behind Sehun I would be able to see the rest of their members coming our way. I’m brought out of my thoughts by someone softly grabbing onto my elbow, pulling me backwards, making me jerk back in surprise.

I look up to see that it was no one other than Taehyun. I smile up at him before focusing my gaze at the now fully assembled EXO who were staring intently at Taehyun and I. I bow politely towards them with a smile on my face that I reserve for those that I’ve only just met and I can tell that Kai still knows this little fact by the way his lips tighten in the slightest.

“Hello Sunbaenims,” Taehyun says as we both bow in greeting, with his hand that was on my elbow coming to rest on my shoulder as if in support. He turns to me his normal blank face showing, yet I can see that his eyes are sparkling in mischief.

“Noona, the hyungs and I were wondering if you wanted to eat with us after this schedule is over since we all haven't seen you in a while as you’ve been promoting your new song. Think of it as a celebratory dinner with just us guys, and well, you of course.” He says while smiling cheekily at me making me smile softly at him before nodding my head in agreement to his offer.

“Ok, we can leave once the concerts finished then we can go to a restaurant that we will all love,” I say while smiling up at him making him nod at me before walking away with his normal smirk on his face. 

“I’ll text you later then noona.” I watch as he saunters off before turning towards the opposite side of where he was going.

“Um, Minzy-sshi, your song is really good!” I spin around in surprise as I realise that EXO had not moved an inch since they assembled making me flush a slight pink at my rudeness.

I smile softly at Xiumin who was the one to blurt that out “Thank you Xiumin-sshi,” I look around the whole group including them in what I was about to say next “Your newest song is really good, I hope your promotions go well. I have to go but I hope you have a good year,” I say before quickly moving down the hallway that I think holds my dressing room since I wasn’t really paying attention to the staff that had shown me where to go when I had gotten here...

Third Person P.O.V.

Minzy was so deep in her thoughts that she don't realise that someone was behind her, following her silently.

“Why did you stop talking to me?” His deep voice asks making Minzy jump in surprise, while also make her heart skip a beat too. Her once relaxed shoulders tense as she slowly turns to face the boy who gave her the experience to sing with emotion….with a broken heart.

Kai just watches silently as the girl in front of him fidgets in discomfort, her eyes darting everywhere other than in the direction of which he stood, as if it hurt her to look at him. He watches as she goes from an uncomfortably shy girl to the girl with so much confidence you had to ask yourself if she was ever that shy girl moments ago. She lets out a long breath before looking Kai right in the eyes, her emotions showing Kai so much yet so little.

“I realised that I was deluding myself into ever thinking that what we had was real, that you could have liked me as much as I liked you, and once I realised this fact I just stopped all form of communication between us knowing that you would be smart enough to get the message that the thing between us was over.” Minzy says carelessly, as if she felt nothing making the boy in front of her wince at the pain he felt at her words.

“You talk as if our relationship was nothing more than childs play, as if what I felt was nothing but empty words.” Kai says soft yet with conviction. His eyes flashing in a dangerous way.

I shake my head wondering why he was keeping up this charade. It was only us two now in a empty hallway with no other witnesses to hear his words that, a few months ago, would have set my heart into a frenzy.

“Because it was. You don't need to force yourself to act this way when we both know that you never really wanted to be with me, Kong Minzy. A few months ago I would have said something that I would have in the end regretted, but the me now accepts it for what it was, a game.” Minzy says in acceptance. She would be lying if she said that she wasn’t in love with him anymore because the fact was that she was still in love with Kim Jongin, but like the song that she had just sung said, ‘I hate you, I love you, I hate that I love you,’ which was exactly how she was feeling. She didn’t care that once he heard the song he’d know that that song was about him but she just didn’t care. 

As Jongin hears the words ‘game’ he knows that she had heard what he had said all those months ago while surrounding his label mates, making the ache in his chest intensify and the anger melt away at the realisation that it was his fault that she had cut off all contact with him in the first place. He takes a step towards her but stops when he sees her move back at the same time. He just wants to grab her and hold on to her while begging for forgiveness yet he knows that its not the right time or place for that.

“Minnie I-I…what I said,” Jongin stops trying to get his mind in order, his fists clenched tightly as he starts to talk once again “I didn’t mean anything I said. You were never a game to me, you still aren’t…” He says desperately, trying to get her to understand that at that what he said wasn't how he felt.

“Then why did you say it if you didn’t mean it?” Minzy asks softly, her hand coming to rest on the handle of her dressing room door.

Jongin opens his mouth to answer but nothing comes out which seems to confirm the question Minzy had not verbally asked. All he can do is watch as she turns her back to him as she opens the door. It’s as if time has slowed down, as Jongin watches her close the door in his face, his chest aching even more than before.

He leans his head on the door while silently cursing his stupidity while wondering if there was any chance that he could get the girl that he loves so much to forgive him yet he already knows the answer just by looking into Minzy's expresive eyes.

Time is something that Kai doesn't notice go by, until he feels a hand on his shoulder, snapping him out of his melancholic state. When he looks at who it is to see that its Taemin, who's now guiding him away from the closed door to the room that guards the person who I had obviously hurt with my careless words.

While he’s being guided away by his best friend with his mind in utter chaos, she’s inside the room with her back against the closed door, her eyes tightly shut while tears stream down her face, her hands clenched tightly into fists that help her not break down even further…

“Do you think the universe fights for souls to be together?
Some things are too strange and strong to be coincidences.”
― Emery Allen