While he is sitting waiting he almost wants him not to come.

But he arrives. Late, with wet hair, untied shoelaces, torn pants and a jacket that was way too light for the weather. Watching the purple furrows his dark circles are he tells him self that it is not his duty to protect him, it is not his duty to take care of him, not anymore.

“Hi, Hyukie.” Says Hae with a small smile, almost shy. But his eyes reflect it; they are honest and seem to be happy to see him. HuykJae from his sit notes the dilated pupils and forces an imperceptibly trembling and maybe too big smile.

“Hello Hae.” He says releasing a sound that is something between a sigh and a snort disguised as a laugh.

He looks down blinking rapidly and breathes a little bit deeper trying to release the pain of the spine that was just dug in the bottom of his heart.

DongHae passes his hand through his wet hair as sitting down. He talks while waiting for the waiter, he talks while waiting for his coffee, he talks while drinking his coffee; and HyukJae only nods and hums expressing interest at the right moments, he loses him self watching DongHae ’s hands. Bitten and blackened nails, calloused fingers, dry and shiny skin, marked veins…

“He is so skinny – ” he thinks.

And DongHae speaks, speaks, speaks, and speaks; he resumes six years of his life in one coffee. HyukJae grabs his almost warm cup, trying to absorb some heat from it. DongHae uses his last sip of coffee for taking a break.

“DongHae…” Says HyukJae without looking at DongHae ’s face, DongHae lowers his cup and looks at him with wide eyes. “Why did you call?”

Finally HyukJae gazes at him; he has lowered his eyes looking almost uncomfortable, his eyes roosting, his back touching the back of the chair for the first time. He slowly grabs his spoon and stirs his imaginary coffee. HyukJae sees the spoon tremble in the air.

“HyukJae…” And so it starts.

He speaks. He peaks about how much he has missed him, about the endless sleepless nights; he takes his time explaining the big mistake it had been to ask him to leave, and about how low he has stooped, about needing him back, about dreams from the past that never passed for him.

HyukJae doesn’t listen to half of it. He hides in some corner of his mind, behind a three meters tall wall: one made of pain, one made of blame, and one made of resentments. Until he can’t handle it more, six years of healing him self, six years sticking each piece left, six years building a wall that can keep him way from a life of memories, they were not enough.

He takes out of his wallet the exact amount of money for paying for his coffee, but after a glance to DongHae he thinks better and takes out the money for both coffees and a bit more for the tip. He is about to leave it on the table as he stands up, but a sparkle in DongHae ‘s eyes, who has finally silent and looks at him carefully, makes him change his mind once more.

HyukJae stats to leave, but one last time changes his mind and asks what he doesn’t want to. He fears the answer. He needs to know.

“When was your last dose?”

He breathes deeply and squeezes the money into a fist while waiting for the answer. DongHae, who is standing ready to follow him, looks as if he is about to cry.

“No. Hyukie…” He shakes his head and finally stares at him “you know there was no way I could come…”

HyukJae listens no more.

Original chapter (in spanish). As I said, the story is mine :D 

I hope you liked it! I honestly posted the link at the end because I wanted you to read it in english too. I believe that, even though it is the same story, it feels diferent in each lenguage. 

Please comment, tell me if you like it, if it does hurts, what you think will happen, ask if you don't get somethign, if somewhere you don't understand who does what...