it's been a month, and everybody in the company, every single person they know, told them to move on.
so they did. but it wasn't that simple, the whole group knew it.
one person left the formation, and although they have the others 11, the empty place will always be there.

joonmyun's the one who couldn't really accept the reality, yet he needed to appear strong. for the others.
it's hurt when he smiled out of his willingness, hurt when he said that everything's okay to his fellow members.
especially when the youngest line asked him about things.

"hun, what do you think fan-ge is doing right now?" joonmyun heard tao talked to sehun once.
sehun slowly replied, "i can't tell. missing us, probably?"

joonmyun's heart shattered.

his heart aches everytime he looked around and found his friends--his brothers--smile between their jokes, tried to have fun during their own games.
the whole room suddenly felt hotter and joonmyun thought he's going to throw up, when suddenly someone slapped the back of his neck jokingly.
it was lu han, with minseok behind him. well, now the oldests gathered.

"you okay?" asked luhan. joonmyun smiled at him.
"you look pale, better take a rest," minseok tried to tell him.
joonmyun snorted, "no if that means i will miss the chance to beat you in games, hyung."

minseok laughed at him as if joonmyun just said something ridiculous, when joonmyun's phone rang.
the owner checked the caller id, and for next several seconds, he had the worst expression. he looked like he's dead.

"i'm going to pick it up outside," joonmyun told no one as he walked away to the hotel's balcony. such a wonderful night out there.
inside, both lu han and minseok knew who the caller. joonmyun's face told everything, yet they couldn't say anything.

the first thing joomnyun heard after he put the phone near his ear was, "oh, i'm glad you are picking it up."
"what? you thought i'm so mad that i wont pick up your call ever?"
yifan sounded hesitate when he answered, "well, yes. you aren't mad?"
"i don't know, hyung. really," joonmyun's voice saddened.

there were long silence when neither one of them speak up.

yifan was the one who broke the silence. "i'm sorry."
joonmyun's sighed, but he did not answer.

"sorry for telling you guys nothing. sorry for everything i've done. sorry because i couldn't be a good leader, a good hyung for everyone. tell them i'm sorry."
joonmyun questioned himself if he heard a sob when yifan was talking just now.

yifan continued, "i'm sorry for leaving. i really do."
"why?" joonmyun asked. he himself didn't know he questioned for which statement yifan just said.
"i left because i have a reason, joonmyun. and no matter how hard it is to leave the group, i need to do this," yifan answered slowly, nearly whispering.

"i'm sorry again, because i can't tell you the real reason. but i need you to trust me. i need everyone to trust me."

joonmyun turned his body, he saw jongin and baekhyun bickering over the tv with yixing as a loyal viewer, kyungsoo eating the chips with sehun and chanyeol. joonmyun heard noises from the kitchen as well.

he took a deep breath before he replied, "i trusted you. we were."
yifan smiled as he spoke, "not anymore?"
"it’s hard and you know it, right? sorry," joonmyun sighed again.
"i understand. thank you, joonmyun."

there were silence again, before joonmyun heard loud laughs from the room inside. he knew it's the time.

"i'm going to hang up, hyung," he said.
yifan said, "okay. tell them i miss them."

joonmyun shook his head slowly, as if yifan could see it. "i'm sorry, but telling them that you contacted me isn't a good idea, i guess."

it's yifan's turn to sigh, "okay then. well, good night, joonmyun."
"good night, hyung. take care," he said before hanging up.

x-------------------------------x

"did i miss something?" joonmyun asked as he walked in. everybody looked at him.
jongdae laughed, "gossiping about girls. wanna join us hyung?"
joonmyun got in shock. "what? really?"
everyone laughed when they saw the leader was surprised.

but then joonmyun laughed as he sat down just beside minseok, "so tell me, which group?"

moving on is surely hard, but they need to give a try.
joonmyun knew it. the whole group knew it.

a/n: sorry guys, i know my english