please stay with me

Will you stay by my side?
Secretly, in between the gaps of passions

The wind blew right to her face , making her bangs flew before they returned back to the original position . Hana stared at her left and right before she slowly made her way to cross the road . She could saw her shoes’ prints on the snow as she walked on them .

She stared at the house infront of her for a while before letting out a soft sigh and quickly made her way to the door , touched the knob and twisted it slowly and opened the door . She was welcomed with the same sight .

“ I’m home “ she said cheerfully .

There was a silence before her heart started to ache and she could felt her legs were getting weaker and she fell on the floor . Tears were streaming down on her cheeks .

There was no one there like she expected them to be for the past six months .

And Hana felt she was going crazy .

Peace is never in sight
in the face of tragedy

. . .

Luhan swore that it was one of his worst days in his life .

He woke up late , he slipped at the bathroom and landed on the floor with a loud thud , he found out his motorcycle was apparently out of fuel and he had to walk despite the snow on the road to the nearest bus stop .

When he arrived , he found a girl stood there while looked at her right and her watch . His footsteps must be loud when he saw the girl quickly turned around and that was when Luhan felt he could not breath .

Her dull eyes bore into his deer-like eyes and her lips was in a thin line as if she was trying to hold herself from trembling and mumbling some incohorent words .

He watched as she quickly left the bus stop and straightly made her way to the road . not noticing a car was a few metres away from her .

“ Hey ! Watch out ! “

Luhan threw his bag to the side and ran to the road and grabbed her to his embrace as they fell near the bus stop but away from the road . He flinched a bit as the snow touched his face and still embraced the girl against his body .

He felt the girl was trying to free herself from his embrace but eventually gave up as Luhan tightly embraced her .

The next thing Luhan knew was she was clutching on his shirt and tears were rolling down onto her cheeks .

You're holding it in but
don't grow so cold, okay?

Because words will someday
change into the truth

. . .

“ Are you okay ? I’m Luhan , by the way . “

Hana looked up from her hands to the young man infront of her as he put a cup of hot cappucino towards her . He smiled lightly as he took a sip from his drink , which Hana guessed is an Iced Americano and she frowned slightly .

“ I’m Hana , “ she said softly and paused for a while before she continued .

“ It is snowing outside and you have the urge to drink something cold ? “

They made an eye contact for a few seconds before he let out a soft chuckle .

“ Well . I want to . Hey , you don’t answer my question just now “

Hana wanted to say that she was not okay but after realizing that he was a stranger , she put a small smile to reassure him and nodded her head .

“ I’m okay . Thank you for .. just now but I kind of wish you did not save me . “

Hana stared at the snow outside the cafe they were in and gripped the leather chair tightly as she held in her tears .

Luhan looked at where Hana put her eyes on and he frowned .

It was two girls played snow as they ran around and laughed happily .

He turned her attention back to Hana and her words were replaying on his mind over and over again . He saw Hana slowly rubbed the palm of her hands against each other and blew on them for a few times . He watched as she turned around and slowly took the cup near to her mouth and took a few sips .

“ There’s a reason why you , me and everyone in this world is still alive until now . I don’t know what you’ve been going through all these years but I just want to tell you that there’s someone out there who will learn to love you and your flaws , your insecurities , who will be there by your side when you sad , who will catch you when you’re about to fall , who will listen to your stories and who will always tell you that he loves you . “

Hana stared at Luhan and put the cup back to its original position . The last few words hit her straight into her heart and echoing on her mind . She shook her head and quickly got up from the chair and straightly went out from the cafe , completely ignored Luhan who was shouting her name for a few times .

Apparently , Luhan was a bit faster to be able to catch her and he grabbed her left arm to make her face him . Hana was suprised and she quickly looked at Luhan , ready to give him an irritated face but stopped as she saw his lips was paler and his eyebrows scrunched down like he was in pain . He grippped onto her hands as he leaned downwards to her right ear .

“ Please stay with me “ he whispered and Luhan felt his body was getting weaker and he closed his eyes and fall in Hana’s lap as he let the darkness took over him .

If I could say,
"I miss you"
would I end up in pain again?
My tears are already overflowing...

my love

. . .

Spring , summer and auntumn had passed .

“ It’s been a year , “ Hana mumbled as she made her way to the bus stop . The images of Luhan came back into her mind and she could hear the last words he told her as the image of Luhan fainted on her was there also on her mind .

She remembered sending Luhan to the nearest hospital and quickly left after he was being checked up by the doctor . She was a nobody to Luhan and also she was scared if his parents come and call her bad names . She admitted she was being pessimestic , prejudice but she could not help it .

Hana continued to stare at the sky and watched as the snow slowly fall to the ground . Once again , her mind was filled in by Luhan and his last words towards her . Why would he wanted her to stay with him ? Did Luhan happen to know her before ? Did Luhan was there during her childhood days ?

Her thought quickly vanished in the thin air as she heard the loud engine of the bus infront of her . Hana slowly made her way inside the bus and she stopped at the middle when she heard her name was called for a few times .

“ It was probably just my imagination , “ she thought to herself before making her way inside the bus and took a seat at the right of fourth row and put herself near the window . She left the next to her seat empty and moved her attention back to the snow outside .

“ I told you to stay with me . “

She jumped lightly from her seat as she heard the familiar voice on her right ear and turned to her right only to see the person who she had been thinking for the past twleve months was looking at her with a small grin on his lips although they looked a bit pale , quite different from the first time they met .

There was a moment of silence before Luhan chuckled a bit , breaking the silence .

“ Do you even remember me ? “

“ My name ? “

“ The first time we met ?

“ The words - , “

Hana cut him off as she looked at him with a small smile on her face .

“ Your name is Luhan . We met at that bus stop . You saved me from being hit by a car . You took me to a cafe and I drank a cup of hot cappucino and you drank a glass of an iced americano , “ her voice slowly went quiter at the last sentence .

“ You walked out from the cafe . I was shouting your name and running after you . I grabbed your arm and told you to stay with me , “ Luhan continued after her and they both looked each other before they bursted into a small laughter .

Every time we pass by one another,
you become more precious to me

Please Stay With Me

. . .

As time passed , they learned about each other more but Hana still did not plan to tell Luhan about herself . She was scared and she did think about telling him but often ended up thinking the conseuquences rather than thinking how would she feel if she had told him .

“ My parents and I were not close . I often being compared to my older sister , Ara . Ara was pretty , smart , sweet and kind . I was the opposite . I tried to get closer to them but they favored my sister more and I gave up of trying anything at the age of 11 . I was kind of invisible . There would be always a birthday party for Ara and none for me .

My sister knew it but she never tried to help me . She talked to me but only when mom and dad was not there . And I just saw her as a hypocrite . People always talked how kind she was and how she have a big heart but why didn’t she help me ? Why she did the opposite ? “ she said and she could heard that her voice was wavering .

It was a summer’s night and both of them lay next to each other on the field , feeling the smooth and short grass against them as they stared at the dark sky . Hana decided to talk about her past to Luhan although there was a little bit of doubt towards her decision but just continued as she stared at the stars on the sky .

“ I left the house to a boardng school in the States when I was 15 and I was glad that my dad did not question about it but different from any other person , I did not being send away by my family . They were not there to bid me a farewell . It was just me .

Hana tried to hold back herself from crying as she took a deep breath and continued ,

“ The day I graduate , I received a news from my homeroom teacher that my family was involved in a car accident and I quickly bought a plane ticket to go back to my hometown . As soon as I got to the hospital , I was being told that they already gone and I did not how to feel about it . They never loved me but I found myself crying over them , wishing them for come back . It hurts , “ her voice was getting lower and she barely whispered the last two words .

She found herself in Luhan’s embrace once again and she once again cried as she clutched Luhan’s jacket .

Luhan’s ‘ It’s okay ‘ calmed her for a while and with a puffy eyes , she stared at Luhan and there was something familiar with him that she could not pinpoint what was it . Everytime she was with Luhan or when the first she met him , she often felt like he knew her before and that he could read her like an open book .

“ Hey . It’s a shooting star ! Let’s make a wish . “

Luhan quickly turned to the sky and Hana followed after him . She closed her eyes and softly sighed and the words she whispered was floating up into the night sky .

The image of Luhan came onto her mind and she whispered once again .

‘ Please stay with me . ‘

She opened her eyes only to find Luhan was still closing his eyes and she smiled .

I want to know you more
I want to hear your voice

I want to cry
I'm so confused
I'm so weak, aren't I?

. . .

Hana’s curiousity of Luhan was always there .

It was not like she did not believe him but there were something that Luhan hide from her and she did not know what was it . Whenever she asked him to go out for a walk , he would be hesitated at first before finally agreed . And when they would be in public , people always looked at them , more likely at her weirdly . Like she was out of her mind .

It was during Auntumn when one day , Hana decided to go to the hospital she left Luhan after he fainted on her . She had a hard time searching for the doctor who treated Luhan that day . She faintly remembered his name and only knew his surname , which is Dr . Kim .

Luck was on her side and the nurse knew who she talked about . The nurse showed her the way to the doctor’s room and Hana thanked her before went inside .

“ Do you know Luhan ? I was the one who sent him here on 23 December 2011 . “

She did not expect the doctor to be surprised at her question and she tried to refain herself from asking so many questions . She was indeed sure Luhan was hiding something and her only answer was with the male doctor infront of her .

“ Yes . I know him . He was my patient until last year , “ the doctor answered her calmly .

Last year ? Hana looked at the doctor questioningly .

“ What was his illness and why he stopped being your patient ? “

Dr . Kim was giving her a small smile and he took a deep breath . His answer was not what Hana expected them to be .

“ He was suffering from leukemia since he was 15 and he died on 25 December 2012 . “

Hana quickly excused herself from the room and quickly ran to outside . The rain was pouring down heavily and she did not bother to cover herself up from the rain .

Who was she speaking with all the time ?

Who was she spending time with ?

Luhan seemed familiar and Hana wished she could remember but she could not . Her eyes caught up at the two kids at the main entrance of the kindergarten across the hospital . They were playing under the rain , not caring if their uniforms were drenched in wet . The girl was laughing as the boy was running after her and they ran around a circle .

Hana dropped to the cold and hard ground .

Her bangs were covering her eyes but she saw something happened infront of her . The image of herself as a kid was playing with someone under the rain . The image of the boy was a bit blurry but she saw herself fell and that was when she finally saw the boy’s face .

I can't hear your pride or your talents
This can't just end as a dream

One thing
Two things
Explain them all to me

. . .

Luhan was watching the televison when he heard the door was harshly opened and he looked at the door only to see Hana was standing there . Her clothes were wet and he found her was looking at him with a cold stare . He quickly stood up and went to get the blanket next to him and quickly wrapped them around her body .

“ Luhan , I want to ask you something . “

Luhan looked at her and as always , put a smile on his face . She was shaking and her teeth was chattering softly as she looked up from the ground to look at him .

“ You’re not real , right ? “

Luhan was taken back by her question . Before he could reply , another question popped out from her mouth .

“ Why don’t you tell me ? Why don’t you tell me that we were once childhood friends , we met back again at the States and that you were sick . My mind was not at the right state when I returned here because all I can think of was my family , “ her voice came out hoarse and the rain outside was still pouring heavily .

Luhan smiled bitterly as the memories were playing back on his mind .

“ I was planning to tell you but I often found myself to not to tell you . You seemed scared of this world and I thought I want to teach you to be independent before I go again , “ he said and his own voice was quivering as he stared at the night sky . He wondered when the rain had stopped .

“ You will go ? I thought you told me to stay with you and I did and still am right now . “

Luhan could saw tears were formed on her eyes and he looked away , trying to restrain himself to do the same .

“ I’ll be gone by midnight . “

And he left her alone at the living room and quickly made his way to his room .

He did not realise he was crying when his tears fell on the palm of his hands .

His head was hurting , his eyes were blurry and his heart was aching . The image of five years old Hana was on his mind and he could heard her child-like voice when she called him , ‘ Hannie ‘ . The image of fifteen years old Hana replaced the other and he saw her and himself were dancing at the empty hall of the school after everyone went to their dorms .

The image of a twenty years old Hana , who looked broken and cold came to his mind and he silently cried his heart out .

Hana and himself deserved to have a happy ever after but how can he accomplished that when he , himself could not even made a happy ending for both of them .

“ Do you remember that time when the teacher asked us to go out from the class and stand outside but we ended up escaping to the library ? “

Luhan smiled as he remembered the memory that Hana had said . They talked a lot that day at the class and the teacher told them to stand outside . It started when Hana told him she was bored and Luhan came up with the idea of escaping the class and went to the library instead .

Luhan nodded his head at Hana’s question and he heard a small laugh from her .

“ We even had to stay back for another hour after school had ended bcause we escaped from our punishement to go to library , “ Hana said as she was staring at Luhan with a small smile on her face .

Luhan slowly took her hand and Hana gripped on his hand tightly as she choked out a sob .

“ Don’t cry . You know I hate to see anyone’s crying , right ? “

There was a silence in there and Hana kept her head down , her bangs were covering her eyes and she kept her mouth shut . She could not stop the tears that threaten to fall from her eyes and quickly rolled onto both of her cheeks .

They were both at the balcony of their apartment , holding hands as they sat at the couch and looking at the night sky .

There were no stars and moon was nowhere to be seen .

It was only the black sky and Hana thought that it was the most coldest night she was ever felt

It was 11.50 p.m when Hana felt Luhan’s grip on her hand started to become weaker than before

She stared at Luhan and their eyes met fa while before Luhan started to feel his body became lighter . His legs were slowly dissapearing and Hana widened her eyes as she quickly grabbed onto his hand tightly .

“ Don’t leave Hana alone , Lulu ! Please stay with Hana “

Luhan stared at Hana as he mouthed that one word that was enough to make his heart broke .

Hana shook her head rapidly as Luhan’s hand slowly dissapeared .

“ Hana loves Lulu oppa ! Please stay ! “

And when Hana looked up from her hand , Luhan was nowhere to be found .

He was gone .

Just by wishing that
I could see you
My tears are already
overflowing this much

my love

My sigh escapes,
floating up into the night sky

Please Stay With Me

A fail angst ;_; I'm sorry for dissapointing you but really I'm not good at words >< And when I read this story , it was weird lol but this is my experiment so I'm hoping to improve in the future ! This is supposed to be a chaptered fic but idk lol and I was supposed to write a new chapter of Luyoon fic but I'm sorry ! ;_; oh yeah , I bet everyone know this song hoho ! If you guys don't mind , I want to do a self-promote lol . Follow me at twitter ( faraniaa_ ) , IG ( friniaa ) and LINE ( galaxies_ )

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Goodbye and have a nice day ! Comments are loved ! ^^