First & Last

The Reality You Wanted

Today is a special day,because you will go for a stroll on a special place.

Getting off the mattress already became laborius to you since you've aged, having gray hair streaks along the years, so you decided calling it an achievement whenever you accomplish the said task everytime the sun starts to grow on your room.

Downstairs, after taking plenty of your time to wash up and prepare, is a lady smiling at your appearance, as you notice her indistinguishable display to you.

"You ready, grandma?"

You assuringly nodded and endured the struggle of walking as she went to you for assistance. The both of you continued to exit your home reaching to an auto that you will be essential for today's stride.

On the trip, you are silently glancing at your neighborhood through the car window. Abruptly, you wondered howcome you've made it till the seventy fourth year of your life. Fascinated by the fact, various thoughts crept on to your mind.Throughout those years, what you have been doing?

Before being completely drowned on your sentiment, music started playing courtesy of the beautiful maden by your side. It's a song very known to you, for it was a popular one back at your young days, a korean one. Realizing that a smile is being formed on your wrinkled face, you continued swimming in your memory.

 

Fangirling. That was it. That's what mainly composed the years of your existence. You remember it all too well, from your first step to everything into it up to now. Before, in your age of blooming, it was something you didn't even bargain for, but also something you didn't even regret. Korean idols, being captivated by their beauties is what you can say the beginning. You secretly laughed at the immature thought of yours. But in agreement, Google served as your bridge to them in the past. Searching for their names, then constantly checking out their lives. And even having several social networking sites only dedicated for them.

You never thought, well before, that they are the ones that will have that bam effect on your life.

Right then and there, you remembered the most familiar word among fangirls, 'comeback', wherein these idols would be awoke from their silence of not performing, both for rest or even more practice for their next. The interval was monthly-or even annually, but totally worth the wait.

And as you said, you had more than one social networking site devoted for them, where you had your first virtual yet best friends. Same interests bonded you. You were all sleep deprived, for pulling an all nighter just to spazz, mostly to read fanfictions.

Fanfictions. The only supporters of your delusional mind. They were stories made to be your way of releasing your feels - what your heart is acting upon six sense-ing them.

Looking back, it was really for the hopeless ones, which is you. Yes, you haven't mentioned being overdosed by them yet, but you were. You also started to care less of yourself, and concern more for them. And you felt a strong urge to protect them. It was fine albeit calling you dumb, but it actually came to a point were you actually planned your future life being with the one of them that you absolutely love -your bias.

"Grandma, we're here. I'll go out first then I'll you there but I'll go back to the car okay? Just call me if you need anything, I love you."

You waited her to be finished before you planted a kiss on her fair and smooth forehead.

"I love you too."

She did what she said.

You are now solemnly left alone.

You took a sit from a bench near the tree, not too far from the place of your real intention. You did let your senses leave you again, then you came back to your sentiments.

You are now old, so old, yet you are here, still here. Which means you survived, endless criticisms of the judgmental society, scarcity of money and the painful journey. Tears started to flow, like they were having a race, as you begin to think that you absolutely deserve all of this.

People always thought you would grow out of it. Well, you just grew, but not out of it.

"Grandma, stop crying in front of grandpa, he's probably going to scold me for letting you cry. He loves you that much, we all know that."

 

You didn't notice her approaching but then you managed to smile weakly as you stand and bid goodbye to the grave, with your bias' name embossed in gravestone.

             ~×~×~×~×~×~×~×~×~×~×~×

Thank you so much for reading. ♡ - Serin ××

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baekpapi
Hi! Thank you for giving time reading this although it's quite ty. =)

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