darkpleasure
BIBIMBAP/KAWAII REVIEW SHOP ARCHIVETitle: Strays
Reviewed by: exoexoexolellel
First impression
The title sparked an interest to me and the layout of your description definitely got me excited to read the story. It's brief and simple, perfect for short stories.
Story title
One word titles are a pull in for me, and it's eye catching and appealing. However, I didn't think it was the best title for your story because you the period where they had become 'strays' was only for I think two chapters. Maybe I'm not seeing the full picture because you seem like a really experienced author, but that's just the impression I got.
Graphics
It looks plain to me. It might because of the pictures that look really similar, or the fact that the font isn't original but I wouldn't say I was pulled into the story from your poster. But your story is complete so there really is no point in getting another poster.
Description and foreword
As I mentioned before, it's short and simple. It has all the information it needs, and it's really effective and engaging.
Plot / flow / originality
The story is very unique. I haven't come across a fanfiction where it features aliens (partly because I don't usually hunt stories in the supernatural genre). Vampires, werewolves, mutants, read them all. But aliens? Definitely not. The flow, do I even need to point out that it's perfect? Not one event popped up from nowhere, and if anything looked a little abrupt, nothing was left unexplained.
However, the plot... I'm not really sure what exactly you had planned for your story be about. Is it Minseok experiencing love? Or something to do with Luhan's alien species? I was confused; I wasn't anticipating anything which is why I wasn't really into your story.
Grammar
Your grammar is excellent and I was very impressed with it. Most mistakes are small typographical errors but it's amazing how few I've come across seeing how lengthy your chapters are.
Alot of authors aren't aware of the tag-verb agreement. When you put a tag-verb (he said, she screamed, they laughed) after a character's speech, you have to put a comma before the quotation mark and put the first letter of the tag-verb in lower case. If it's an action sentence, vice versa; replace the comma with a period, and put the first letter of the sentence in upper case.
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