In the process of loving, change is inevitable. Be it love of things, love of people, love of fame, love of power, or any other forms of love, subconsciously, you’ll try to make yourself better to live up to the expectations of the people or concrete and abstract things that you love. You start exerting effort in order to keep them by your side. You give something without asking for anything in return. And in the process you start losing yourself.

That is why I’ve always hated changes.

They make you or break you.

They make people ask for more or ask for less than what they deserve.

Maybe it’s not really the thought of change that irks me. I mean literally everyone changes- say the physical aspects of person or a thing. Maybe it’s the thought of non existent things that causes things and people to change that I hate- particularly things such as love.

I mean, how can something that can’t be decipher by the five senses change a person’s orbit? Or simply, how can it cause change?

Peculiar.

But then again, how the world revolves was something that is way out of my control. And so I was tricked. I was forced into a game where my belief about change has been tested.

Tested by fate. Carried out by none other Lee Seungri. Or shall I say Professor Lee Seungri.

It was supposed to be a normal day for me. Wake up. Attend class. Do home works. Go home. Eat. Sleep. Then the cycle goes on. But for some unknown reasons the Universe seem to be working hand in hand with fate this day and my subject professor for Philosophy took a leave which was why another professor substituted on that day.

Professor Lee Seungri. Given the privileged to teach college students although is not yet finished with his masteral. He took place of our current professor to teach Philosophy. I was almost convince that he must be someone with brains to be given such opportunity. Which is why despite him being my professor and all he was young and older than me by 3 years.

But then he has to teach the ways of the world, the concurrent events of the world and how it affects everyone’s life.

He has to teach about abstract things and change.

Which immediately made me bolt up at my seat and argue about the words that someone called ‘they’ said that he brought up.

Flashback

“They said the only permanent thing in the world is change.”

“Sir, with all due respect I believe what you just have said is some sort of a fallacy. This may be biased but I hate changes. They make you or break you. Why bother changing if what you have now is good enough?” a 20 year old girl with short hazel colored hair detested her professor’s statement.

“Tell me Ms. Lee, What if one day you wake up not knowing that later this day you’ll find someone that will change the way your world revolves?”

“Then I better not wake up Sir.”

“But what if that day is today? As you clearly can see you’re awake enough to bolt up from your seat and say that my argument is some sort of a fallacy? You can’t do what you just said.”

“Then I must pack my bag and leave this class which is, for some unknown forces, makes my blood boil.”

“Now that’s what I call a fallacy Ms. Kim.”

“Say class, have you seen a person standing inside a classroom, have his or her blood boil? In actual? ”

“No, that would only mean a person must have had his or her blood drained from him or her and ask somebody to heat it until it boils.” one of my classmate answered which made the entire classroom a pit of laughter.

“See Ms. Kim. What you’re saying is merely some sort of fallacy. Furthermore, just tackled last semester, according to the Correspondence Theory of Truth, as popularized by Plato and English Philosopher Bertrand Russel, based on intuitive recognition, true knowledge corresponds to the facts. Which makes the false one, the other way around. Simply saying, an idea which corresponds to reality is true and the one that is not, isn’t ”

Smart pants. Move. Him grinning widely didn’t do any better to reduce my rising temper. For a moment that caught me off guard. Ugh. Remind me not to let my nerves speak the next time in front of this hideous being.

“Well then Sir, what you just said, I won’t argue.” with me saying this his grin became a lot wider. But I’m Lee Chaerin, the highest in rank in this class. I won’t let myself be humiliated in this class. In ‘My’ Class.

“But that just makes me want to leave this class more, it seems to me that what you’re going to teach us would be something that we’ve taken just last semester. I wouldn’t want to waste my time for a recap right? Especially from someone who’s NOT yet qualified to do so in the first place.”

His grin came to a halt. It was now my turn to smile. My signature evil smile that would make you crawl back to your mother’s womb.

I grab my bag and slowly walk through the aisle while my classmates took time to look at the astounded face of him.

“You never mess with Lee Chaerin, Lee Sungri. Ooops! My mistake. It should be Professor Lee.” as I came side to side with him, I manage to whisper such words to him. But in my mind I was already counting all the subjects that I could credit and eligible schools I could transfer to once I’m kicked out. It is almost impossible that I’ll have my way out of this but my pride got to my head that I forgot I was talking back to a professor. I should be responsible right?

I was about to take a step when his hand grab my arms. With the same voice as mine he made me faced him and said...

“What if I start the change I was saying a moment ago now Ms. Lee? What would you do?” before I could even give a smart and sassy retort, his other hand grab my nape and slam his lips on mine.

End of Flashback

It was true when I have said that I would rather not wake up than let that ‘someone’ change the way my life has been.

But then I realized, how the matters of the world nor the universe affects the orbit of one’s life is way beyond my control, way beyond everyone else’s power. But there are things that we do that changes the orbit of our lives. But then again, change no matter how much we try to avoid it, is bound to happen in order to follow the course bound to be taken by the world. It is not nature that will change it’s course for me but me who will change for the nature. It doesn’t really make any sense, does it?

All I’m saying is that there are changes that could result from the choices that we make, the feelings that we feel, or as simply as the way of nature telling us to change the road we walk on.

Or the other way around. We feel because we change. We make choices because of change.

For that one sinful lip smashing action of his. Of course a lot of things has happened. Therefore there has been a lot of changes. My once quiet life became the hot issue of everyone in campus at that time. He and I was sent to the office and appropriate actions were then decided and done.

Which means he was, of course, fired from his job and I was suspended for a week to repent on my action, which was talking back to a professor. But that did not stop just there. I’ve learned that he has been in love with me for sometime before the incident happened. How gross for a professor to love his student but then what can I do? He already knew what he was about to do that time was going to get him fired but then he still did it. He’s that stupid. He knew how much change it could cause to his and my life. How he knew me before? Let’s just say that’s a secret that he doesn’t want to share to me until now. But the point is one action lead to another and another and another. Which is why at the age of 27 here I am married to this abnormal man.

How Lee Seungri change my life in one second is way beyond my power. But all I know is in order for things to happen, change is inevitable. Be it an abstract or concrete reasons, things are bound to change and happen.