Chapter 1
P.S. I love youOh My. Why does he have to be so perfect? His eyes, his nose, his whole face, his smile so cute, his height that’s tall, his attitude so cheerful and kind, and his voice so deep. Why!? Why does he have to make me fall in love with him even more whenever I look at him? I really wish I’m that water bottle he is drinking right now. His face while drinking with the sun shining at his back. Oh why he is so perfect!
“Hey! Hey! Yeon Hee! Why are you staring at me? It’s kind of creepy… Did you even listen to what I’m saying?” I came back to my senses when Chanyeol stopped drinking and his face came so close to me. Oh Why? Why does he have to do that? If he does that again, I might be tempted to kiss him… but as if I can do that…
“Uhm… sorry… What are you saying again?” He let out a sigh and started saying what he said a while ago. “I said, can you give me ideas to make Soyoung notice me? You know I like her right? And… you said you’ll help me?”
Yeah. I did say that I’ll help him. And I really regret saying that. Doesn’t he know that I love him? Doesn’t he know that I don’t want him to love someone else but me? Doesn’t he know that I always dream that one day he would realize that he loves me too? Doesn’t he know that it’s so hard for me to know that he loves someone else? But of course he doesn’t. He doesn’t know about a thing about my feelings for him. He doesn’t know that I love him not only as a friend, but more than that. He doesn’t know it because as much as I want to tell him and show him, he always look to that girl he loves. He always think of me only as a friend.
“Maybe…uhm… give her a letter? But make it a secret at first…? It would be exciting that way, wouldn’t it?” I suggested. As much as I don’t want to do that, I also don’t want him to be sad. I want him to be happy. I want him to smile like he always do and I don’t want him to feel like what I do.
“Hmm… nice! Nice! Okay I’ll do it now” He brought out a pen from his pocket and a piece of paper from his bag. “What should I write?”
“Ha?”
“You know that this is my first time right? I don’t know how to do these things, please help me Yeonhee”
“Uh…tell her that you are her secret admirer and you like her. Maybe tell things why you like her? She should feel special when she reads that ”
“Yeah!! Nice! nice!” He started to write on the clean piece of paper while having this exciting look on his face. How I wish I was that girl he is writing for…
“Oh by the way Yeonhee, how did you know about these things? Have you experienced this before?” Several times. I wrote you a lot of letters and placed it inside your bag when we were in middle school, but you were so dense to notice that they were love letters and not just friendship letters. Although it was such a failure, I am still happy I did that because if I didn’t maybe we aren’t friends right now. Maybe we aren’t close like we are right now. On the other hand, because of that I became coward, afraid of telling you my feelings.
I didn’t answer him and just watched him while writing his letter for Soyoung, the one he loves.
Because Soyoung and I are classmates, Chanyeol told me that I should just be the one to give the letter to her. I told him to just place it in her bag, but he insisted. I was actually thinking, what if I don’t give this to her? And just pretend that I did and tell Chanyeol that Soyoung threw the letter in the trash can?
I can do that, but i didn’t.
“This is from who?”
“I don’t know? Maybe an alien? Or a huge guy who’s blinded with love?”
“Yeonhee... Hahaha wow!” I just smiled at her and went home.
I really wish she would not take the letter seriously and she’ll just throw it. Maybe she would do that? Yes, she is pretty, smart, quiet, (and I think that’s why Chanyeol fell for her) yet a carefree person who isn’t thinking about love, just yet. We aren’t close, but I see her like that.
However, I was entirely wrong! The next day, Soyoung gave me a letter, asking me a favor to give it to her secret admirer!
“You’re really into this?” I asked.
“Erhm... Why not? It’s my first time receiving something like that... Hehe”
Should I give this to Chanyeol or not? Or what if I’ll change the contents and replace it with ,
‘Stop it, will you? Whoever you are I don’t like you! FORGET ME!’
Will that make Chanyeol stop? Will it make Chanyeol love me?
“Yo Yeonhee!” It was Chanyeol. I know it. I know his voice. I stopped walking on the hallway and looked back. I was right, It was Chanyeol with his bestfriend, Baekhyun. Their arms were on each other’s shoulders. They’re so close that if Baekhyun was a girl, I would think they are dating.
“Hey Yeonhee!” Baekhyun greeted. “Hello!” I greeted back. We aren’t close but I know him because of Chanyeol. Ever since middle school, I have seen him usually hanging out with Chanyeol.
“So what happened yesterday?” Chanyeol asked. I showed him the letter and gave it to him. He read the letter immediately and he was smiling and seems to be blushing too! What is he blushing for? I should have read the letter secretly too, but that would be rude.
“Yeonhee, I’ll give a letter again, okay? Will you give it to her?” I was about to say ‘no’, but his smile made me replied with a ‘yes’. I also smiled even if it really hurts deep inside.
These days continued as months passed by. Everyday, I’m hurt as if my heart was being stabbed several times. Whenever I see their faces smiling and blushing while reading the letter, it feels as if my heart was crashing into pieces, specially when I can see that Soyoung was falling for Chanyeol slowly.
Honestly, sometimes-- wait no, everytime-- I want to throw the letters they’re passing to me. But I can’t. I can’t imagine Chanyeol getting hurt because of my selfishness. But isn’t he also selfish? Asking me to give the letter to Soyoung without asking what I really feel about it? I really wish I can just change everything. That Chanyeol loves me instead... I really do...
I was lying down at the rooftop during our lunch break all alone. I don’t want to see Chanyeol because for sure, he would just talk about Soyoung, Soyoung, Soyoung. All about Soyoung and him. Then he will again ask me to give another letter. I don’t want to say yes. And I also don’t want to say no, that’s why I’m here, looking at the sky, trying not to feel hurt and trying not to think of anything. Just the sky and me...
“Hey sky, you’re so pretty” I admired. “Is it possible to just have a crush on you?” I told the sky, as if it will reply to me.
“But you are admiring me already, aren’t you?” Woah. That was not me. I promise. What is happening? I’m being paranoid! The sky is talking to me!
“I-I-Is that you...sky? O-Or a-are you one of the clouds up th-there...?” I suddenly saw someone blocking my view from the sky.
“Yes. I’m the sky! MWAHAHAHA!”
“Baekhyun!?” Thank you Oh My I thought I’m going crazy!
“Hahaha! You’re so funny! Hahahaha!” He kept laughing and laughing as if there’s no tomorrow.
“H-How did you find me here?”
“Chanyeol was looking for you and he asked my help. Then while going around I saw the door to the rooftop was open so I came here and heard a person talking to the sky! Hahahaha!” He was still laughing. Will this person stop? His laugh made me feel embarrass! I really regret talking to the sky...
“Wait... So Chanyeol was looking for me?” I felt so lively again and sat down without a second.
“Yes, he’s looking for you so that you’ll give this to Soyoung” He got the letter from his pocket on his pants. Oh no, not again. “He gave the letter to me instead because he knows I’m better at finding things and yes that is just so right! Hahaha!” He laughed again at how he is better at finding things than Chanyeol and I just laughed as well so he won’t look stupid. I can really clearly see their similarities, Baekhyun and Chanyeol... The both of them are so positive o.o
“You don’t have to laugh if you don’t like to” Baekhyun sat down beside me. He looked up at the sky and was admiring the sky just like I was doing a while ago.
“Hey that cloud looks like a star!” He looks like a kid that’s faced with a lot of sweets. Or should I say a puppy faced with shiny bones?
“The sky looks in love” I looked at the sky to see what he is talking about but... In love? The sky?
“Ha? How can you even know?”
“I just know.”
“What?”
“I have been observing the sky and it seems like it’s in love. It’s not obvious because it doesn’t want to show its feelings. The sun is just like the feelings, but because of that cloud blocking the sun, it looks like it’s afraid to show it.” What is he saying? “Well if the cloud would just go away, then everyone would see the sun right?”
“What are you talking about?”
He didn’t answer me and just stood up. Before he could go back inside, he left some few words, “Giving up won’t lead you to anything. Why give up if you haven’t done anything yet? If it’s not for you then accept, if it is, then treasure it...”
I was still thinking about what Baekhyun had said to me, even if days had passed already, when Chanyeol suddenly called me out, “ Yeonhee!!!” He looks so tired from running. Was he running after me? I stopped and turned to him. “Thank goodness you stopped! Tell me Yeonhee, are you perhaps mad at me?”
“Ha?”
“Well... We haven’t hang out these past days and I haven’t seen you too!” Do I really look mad? Is he sad that I’m not with him?
“Y-You’re sad...?”
“Yes! Very very! Please tell me if you are, so I can say sorry. You’re special to me! I don’t want to loose you!” D-Did he just say special? “I was wondering what I have done... And is it because of something I did? What is it? Did I say something wrong? Did I promise to treat you an ice-cream but I forgot? Did I forgot to return you something? Or--” He wasn’t able to finish what he said because I just suddenly laughed. I couldn’t take it anymore he’s so cute being so concerned that it made me blush!
“Oi... You’re red! Do you have fever!?”
“N-No I don’t” I looked away so he wouldn’t notice. “Don’t worry I’m not mad!”
“Are you sure? Wait... Is it because of... You’re tired of the letters that I want you to give to Soyoung? Don’t worry this letter that I’ll give to you today would be the last one.”
What? Last? Does this mean that he would stop on Soyoung already? That he doesn’t love her? Did he realize the what he feels about Soyoung isn’t love? Or did they fight through the letters? I don’t know if I should be in the place for this but, I’m actually very, very, very happy!
“Last time?” I still asked out of curiosity.
“yes. Last time, because this time I will reveal myself already and ask her to be my girlfriend!”
“What?”
I wasn’t able to give the letter to Soyoung that day. “Sorry, I had to do something urgent” was my excuse to Chanyeol as I texted him.
I know this makes me a selfish friend or even a bad friend, but I really don’t want it! Millions and millions of needles are like piercing my heart!
Should I just throw or burn this letter? Should I lie to Chanyeol that she doesn’t want her to see him? How selfish can I be? Chanyeol is such a good friend to me! Will I fail him being a good friend in return? Why should he be the one that I love? Why is it that he loves someone else instead of me? Why do I need to be hurt so much?
These questions were the repeatedly questions that I asked myself as I cry and fell asleep that night.
And on my dream, I remembered something,
“Giving up won’t lead you to anything. Why give up if you haven’t done anything yet? If it’s not for you then accept, if it is, then treasure it...”
Today I should remove the clouds that hinder me to show my feelings...
“Did you give the letter this morning?” We were on the garden that afternoon where they were supposed to meet.
“...yes” I lied.
“Yay! That’s great! Thank you so much!” He smiled so bright like the sun and hugged me. He is as energetic as ever.
“Uhm... Chanyeol, can I say something for a while?”
“Yes sure!” He replied enthusiastically.
I can’t believe what I was about to say. I practiced this just this morning, I should do this. I breathed in and out so deeply.
“Chanyeol... I-I-I love you.” There was an awkward silence. But just for a moment. “Really? Me too! I love you Yeonhee! I love you not just a friend, but as a bestfriend who’s very special!”
I knew it he would say that.
“No Chanyeol, I love you not just a friend, bestfriend or even a special friend, but I love you more that those.” There was an awkward silence again. This time, it was longer. His face was so blank like he doesn’t know what to react. Did it get into him? I hope it did.
“W-w-when? H-How? Y-You...? B-But I-I’m so sorry you know that...I-I... S-Soyoung...” I didn’t let him finish because I might just laugh again for his words were shaking.
“I know Park Chanyeol. I know. It was middle school when I started to admire you. You have been so cheerful, so handsome, so cute, so lively, and haven’t changed until today. Time flies so fast that I didn’t know I’m already in love with you.
“I put love letters inside your bag, and on the day I revealed myself, you mistook those as friendship letters, remember? But I didn’t regret it, because we became friends, and closer. Don’t worry, I won’t be a hindrance to the both of you, and I hope you won’t think of me like that. It’s in the past, I’ve already accepted it, just last night though. I’m so sorry that I kept it but thank you for letting me love you. I loved you. but I still do... As a friend...” I smiled as I turned back.
“Kim Yeonhee," I suddenly stopped walking away when he called my name.
"honestly, I’m really shocked. Wow I didn’t realized I was so dense, I’m so... sorry. However, thank you for accepting that I love somebody else, Thank you. No matter what happens, let’s stay best.. No wait special bestfriends, alright?” I turned around and saw his smiling that made me fell in love with him.
“Yes, special bestfriends!”
I actually didn’t lie exactly about giving the letter to Soyoung. Why would I still give the letter if it said, ‘See you TOMORROW’ , right? They might just get into trouble. So, I, instead, told Soyoung about it directly.
I’m guessing, right now she saw that Chanyeol was her secret admirer. Chanyeol might have already asked her to be her girlfriend. And Soyoung would say happily the word, ‘Yes’
‘I’m so happy for you Park Chanyeol. I will always support you.
PS. I love you...’
I can imagine how happy would Chanyeol be right now, and Soyoung as well. Just like a cute love story right? A love story that started with love letters and ended with such a cute ending. However, not all love stories goes like that. Just like mine...
I don’t know why but even though I cried so hard already last night, and as if my eyes are already dried, tears still fall down from my eyes. No matter how many times I wipe my eyes, tears kept falling down. I don't know if this is tears of sadness because of what I feel or tears of happiness for Chanyeol.
I just walked while bowing down and I think no one would not notice my tears that way, when somebody actually noticed.
“Yeonhee?” Somebody tapped my shoulders and I look at the person and saw Baekhyun.
“Baekhyun...”
“You’re crying?”
“Ha? N-No! U-Uhm... I-I’m just sweating... Through my e-eyes....”
“Haha really?” He suddenly hugged me.
“Ahh... Stop crying or else I might cry too!”
“But I said I’m not crying...” As I said those words, my tears kept falling down more.
“Stop making excuses... I know how you feel... The feeling when the person you love loves someone else...” He hugged me tighter. So tight that I want to say ‘please stop I can’t breath’ But I didn’t say it, because that is what I need right now.
“Huh? N-No you don’t”
“Yes I do, always looking at that person even if that person is looking at someone else, just like looking at the sky...”
"Wh-What are you talking about... You d-don't know what I f-feel..."
"Oh Kim Yeonhee, I do, because I love you.."
“Wh-wh-what?” He changed the topic and instead, he let go of me and pointed to the sun.
“Look! Look! The clouds aren’t covering the sun! Isn’t it amazing! But my eyes! Oh no the sun is too bright!” He looked at me and smiled...just like a puppy...
Well I guess love stories end differently from each other. It depends on how you view it. It depends on the choices you make. And it depends on how you accept what is not for you and treasure what is for you...
A/N: Yay so uhm I hope you like it even if it is short... Please comment (if ever someone will read this...T^T) so that I will know what I can improve on in the future (like if it is confusing, or boring, or something) and so that I will know what you feel about the story too! Thanks! *Please subscribe as well...if ever. So yeah thank you for reading it and again, hope you like it! Thank you ^_^
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