The bells tied to the door jingled as the scent of fresh coffee filled my nose. I stepped inside the familiar place, and almost immediately, a lady dressed in a white shirt and blue apron greeted me with a big smile. The corners of my lips instantly rose as I recognized the lady.

          “It’s been a while Yuna” she greeted. I couldn’t help but chuckle and nod, agreeing with her statement. I looked around. It really has been a while since I last visited this café. The last time I was here, I was with him.

          “It really has been a while Jinhee” I said, still looking around the shop, “Not much has changed here at the cafe.” I pointed out. Jinhee chuckled at my statement. As she chuckled, I couldn’t help but stare at her face. She hasn’t even changed one bit. She was still the pretty girl I knew three years ago. Not a single wrinkle on her face could be seen, despite her being older than me. If I didn’t know any better, I would’ve thought she was younger than me.

          “There’s nothing to change.” She said with amusement in her voice, “Do you want to sit at your usual table? It’s open right now”. And with that, a smile instantly appeared on my face. I looked at a table with two seats near the back of the cafe and nodded, seeing that there’s no one sitting there.

          Jinhee nodded and started walking to the table, with me following her. I happily sat at my usual seat and sighed in relaxation. After spending hours just walking around the town, looking at what changed and what didn’t, it felt good to finally be able to sit down and rest.

          “Do you want the usual?” Jinhee asked as I slouch on my seat.

          “Yes please,” I nodded. Jinhee nodded and walked away, back to her counter to get my order. I sat back straight on my seat and looked around. I studied every inch and part of the café. Nothing really has changed. My eyes landed on the seat in front of me. Memories rushed back. Memories of him. Memories of us.

          It was here where we came to hang out when none of us were in the mood to attend our acting lessons, back when we were friends. It was here when we first held hands. It was here when he confessed. And it was in this exact place where we had our first kiss.

          I laughed as he cracked one of his jokes. He smiled, seeing that his joke made me laugh. I quickly stopped laughing, finally realizing how loud my laugh was. I looked around the café and sighed when I saw that no one heard my laughter. This was why we loved sitting here at this table. It was far from the other customers. We could do everything we want and be as loud as we want without disturbing others.

          “Yuna,” he called, softly. I instantly looked at him, wondering what he wanted to say. As I looked straight in his eyes, he sighed and looked away. I raised an eyebrow and tilted my head to look at his face.

          “What’s wrong?” I asked as I brought my face close to his. In a blink of an eye, he looked up and his lips touched mine. My eyes widened and I quickly pulled away and sat on my seat. I looked around to see if anyone saw what happened and sighed in relief when I saw that no one was looking at our way.

          “Why? Are you embarrassed of me?” he asked, with a daring gaze, his voice turning a little childish, “You don’t want others to see me kissing you?” he accused, his face turning into a puppy-like one. Although I was a hundred percent sure that he was serious, I couldn’t help but chuckle at his childish side. His eyes widened and I quickly shook my arms, telling him that I wasn’t making fun of him, even if I was.

          “It’s not that,” I said, copying his childish voice, “Why did you surprise me like that?” I asked.

          “What do you mean ‘Why I surprised you like that’? It’s a surprise kiss! It’s supposed to be romantic!” he fought back. He frowned and crossed his arms before looking away, sulking. I smiled and shook my head at his childish behavior.

          I looked around the café, making sure no one is looking, before standing up from my seat and leaning over to his side with my face in front of the side of his face.

          “Yeollie,” I whispered, his head snapped forward and our lips touched again. His eyes widened and I smiled as I pulled away.

          “Let’s order food.” I said, changing the subject, as I sat back on my seat.

          A smile immediately formed on my lips as I reminisced. I heard someone call my name, bringing me back to reality. I looked at the owner of the voice and saw Jinhee looking at me with a weird look.

          “Are you ok? You’ve been smiling at the air for a while now.” She pointed out as she placed a plate and a drink on my table. I stared at the food on my table before nodding my head.

          “Yeah, I just remembered something.” I simply said and picked up the fork on my table. Jinhee stared at me for a moment, as if she was trying to read what I was thinking, but gave up after a few seconds.

          “Alright. Call me when you need anything.” She said before walking back to the counter. I watched her walk away, and when she was out of sight, I stared at my food once again. Creamy white pasta with a strawberry smoothie. It was my usual order in this café.  It was my usual order when I was with him.

          The bells of the door jingled and I jumped on my seat, startled. I diverted my eyes to the door and my heart stopped beating.

          Lee Sungyeol.

          It was him. Lee Sungyeol, the man I was thinking about. The man I left Seoul for. The man who promised to never leave. The man who gave me butterflies only to leave me hoping. My first love, Lee Sungyeol.

          Jinhee walked towards him and greeted him with a big smile. Sungyeol smiled back and suddenly glanced towards my direction. I quickly looked away and looked down, hiding my face from his view with my hair. After a few seconds, I peeked through my hair. Jinhee brought him to a table with a few tables apart from where I was. He sat the down, with his back facing me. Jinhee took his order and walked back to the counter.

          I stared at him, or rather his back. Finally, there was something that changed in this town, or rather than something, it was someone. His hair was short and was styled upwards, definitely different from the long and messy hair I used to love playing with. He was wearing a blue plaid shirt with a clean dark pants, unlike the simple t-shirt and dirty pants he used to wear. He was different. He changed. Yet my heart was still beating. Beating as fast as when he first confessed and when we had our first kiss.

          “Yuna” a voice called. I looked at the owner of the voice and saw Jinhee with a worried expression, “I guess you already know that he’s here.” She pointed out. I nodded in acknowledgement. I looked back to where Sungyeol was and sighed.

          Is he always here?” I asked before looking at Jinhee, waiting for her answer. She scrunched her face before she shook her head.

          “He visits at times, but not as much as when you two were together.” She explained, “He comes at least once every two months.” She said. I nodded and looked again at him. I breathed deeply before spitting out my question.

          “Does he come with anyone?” I asked, holding my breath. A part of me wanted to know if he really have moved on and found someone else, while one part doesn’t. Just thinking about him with another woman pained me.

          “There were times when he came with his friends, but most of the times he came alone.” She said. I sighed in relief as I looked back at Jinhee.

          “He usually sits in this seat, but seeing that you were already here, I gave him another table.” She explained. Hearing her statement, my eyes instantly widened and I shot up in my seat.

          “He knows that I’m here?” I asked, panicked. Jinhee was startled with my reaction. She slowly shook her head making me relax in my seat.

          “I never told him you were here. He didn’t see your face either. All he knows is that you’re just another customer.” She assured, “Don’t you want him to know that you’re here, back in Seoul?” she asked. I sighed before shaking my head, telling her that I didn’t want him to find out.

          “Why?” she asked. That was my question too. Why didn’t I want him to know that I’m here? Why didn’t I want him to see me? Was I afraid? Afraid of standing in front of him? Afraid of seeing him already grown up and changed, while I wasn’t? Or afraid of admitting that my heart was still rapidly beating for him?

          The next day, I found myself at the same place and at the same table. I kept on looking around, waiting for signs of him. Waiting for him to come, but he didn’t. Even the days after, I found myself doing the same thing over and over again. Sitting at the table, waiting for him, wanting to see his face. I kept on waiting and waiting. Jinhee gave me worried and pity looks, but I ignored her. She told me he rarely visits anymore and that me seeing him there was a coincidence, but I still kept on waiting. I couldn’t risk anything. A day that I won’t come to the café might be a day that he will come. I didn’t want to miss him.

          I kept on waiting. I kept on hoping. I kept on believing, I trusted the words he once told me.

          “I’ll always be here” he said. But ‘trust’ was a strong word. There was no reason for me to trust his words from the past. He already broke his promise. He already left. He just left. Without any explanation, he left. He isn’t here for me anymore, yet I still keep on waiting.

          Why was I acting like this? Why did I keep on waiting? Was two years not enough for me to move on?

          “Why don’t I set you up in a blind date.” Jinhee suggested, one early morning at the café. “I know a lot of nice guys who will take really good care of you”.  I looked at her, expressionless, and she gave me a firm look, telling me that she won’t take no for an answer. I sighed before nodding, knowing I had no choice but to say ‘yes’ to her.

          The bells of the door jingled, turning my attention to the door. Just like that, my heart started beating faster and I forgot about the blind Jinhee was talking about.

          He’s here.

          At the sight of him, my heart started beating and a smile formed on my face. But it was quickly replaced with a frown and a broken heart as I sight the woman behind him. He gave a her a big smile as he walked with her at the table he was at when I last saw him. He pulled the seat for the girl as the girl sat on her seat.

          I quickly looked away, not wanting to look at them anymore. I picked up my things and took a few bills from my wallet. I glanced at Jinhee who only gave me a worried look before I started walking to the door.

This wasn’t what I waited for. This wasn’t what I wanted to see. I couldn’t take the sight of him with another girl. I had to leave, quickly.

          I was near the door when a familiar voice called my name.

          “Yuna?” my heart dropped, hearing his voice call my name. I froze on my place. Tears threatened to escape my eyes, but I held them back. I took a deep breath before turning around and looking at him. He was standing, and was probably just about to sit down when he saw me. He had a surprised look on his face. I took all the confidence I had and looked straight into his eyes, despite the tears that was threatening to come out of my eyes.

          “You’re back” he said, still with the same expression on his face. I forced a smile on my face, not caring if it looked fake or not. I wanted to slap him. I wanted beat him up for leaving me without a word, yet I didn’t have the guts to. I wanted to ask him why he left me, but I couldn’t.

          “I am” I said, trying my best to calm my shaking voice, “I just came back a few days ago.” I explained. He nodded before looking down on the floor.

          “Have you been well?” he asked.

          No, I wasn’t. I was great after the two years I spent away to get over him, but after seeing him again, everything came back. Those two years were forgotten and was useless.

          “I’ve been great!” I lied. I couldn’t tell him how I really felt. I couldn’t tell him how stupid and useless I felt when I saw him with another girl. I couldn’t tell him how the feelings and the memories that took me two years to forget suddenly came back when I saw him. I just couldn’t.

          “Oh” that was all he could say. For a few moments, we just stared at each other. I observed him, from head to toe, finally getting a good look at his transformation. He looked different. He looked mature. I couldn’t see the Sungyeol I once knew. There was no sign of the old him.

          I could feel the tears in my eyes falling, and that’s when I decided to take my leave.

          “I have something urgent to attend to. I have to leave. Bye.” I said as quickly as possible and turned around, not waiting for his response. I quickly walked out of the shop and ran away, not looking back.

          After what happened that day, I was motivated to do the blind date Jinhee told me about. She set me up with a few guys and we had our date at the café. They were all so nice and fun to be with, yet I still couldn’t help but look around the café, as if I was waiting for someone. I still kept on waiting for him. Waiting for him to come and take me back. Waiting for him to make my dates go away and claim me back.

          One day, I was at the café with my sixth date. His name was Kim Myungsoo. He was handsome, smart, and everything a girl would want. But as usual, I still kept on looking around the café. I still kept on waiting for him.

          “So what do you like to do?” Myungsoo asked. I stopped looking around and looked at him before giving him a small smile.

          “I like to act. I used to attend drama classes.” I said, reminiscing the times when I was still attending drama classes. It was where we met, six years ago. Sungyeol was still a young childish boy. Different from what he was today.

          The bells of the door jingled and I quickly looked at the door. My breath hitched and my heart started to beat faster, something my heart didn’t do for a while. But again, my heart dropped, seeing the same girl with him.

          I looked away and stared at the food in front of me. I waited for him to see me with Myungsoo. I waited for him to come and walk towards this table. I waited for him to shove Myungsoo away and leave the girl he was with. But what happened next shocked me.

          “Sungyeol!” I heard Myungsoo call, “What are you doing here?” he asked as he stood up. I heard footsteps coming closer, making me look up. Sungyeol had a big grin on his face as he and Myungsoo hugged.

          “I’m on a date with Hyerin” Sungyeol said as they pulled away from each other. Sungyeol’s eyes drifted from Myungsoo to me, his smile disappeared.

          “Yuna” he whispered, and again, I found myself staring at him with him staring back.

          “Oh! Do you know each other?” Myungsoo asked, surprised.

          “Yeah. We know each other.” I said, simply, and looked away from Sungyeol to look at Myungsoo.

          “What are you doing together?” Sungyeol asked, carefully. I held my breath, knowing that Myungsoo was going to answer his question. I didn’t want him to know that I was on a date with Myungsoo, but at the same time I also wanted him to know. I wanted him to feel jealous, and to think that I already got over him.

          “We’re on  a date” Myungsoo said.

          I waited, and waited. I waited for Sungyeol to feel jealous. I waited for him to tell Myungsoo that we couldn’t be on a date. I waited for him to get mad and tell me I’m his. I waited for him to grab my hand and run away from the café. I waited for him to do something. But what he said disappointed me.

          “That’s great!” he exclaimed, with a smile forming on his face, “Sorry we bothered you. Enjoy you’re date!” he said before walking away from us. I watched him walk away with his arms around the girl. I felt jealous. I felt mad. I felt disappointed. He moved on.

          That night, I walked home, in the dark, alone. Thoughts of him filled my head, only him. I didn’t care about my surroundings. I didn’t care about the people around me. All I could think about was him. What did I do for him to leave me? What did I do wrong?

          I couldn’t understand. I didn’t know what to do.

          “Ah!” a sudden scream escaped my lips when I felt a weight lean on my body. I pushed the weight away and the person stumbled back to the floor. I looked at the man sitting on the floor. He looked like he was in his forties and he was holding a bottle of soju. It was obvious he was drunk.

          I ruffled my hair in exasperation. Tears fell from my eyes and I quickly walked away from the guy, not wanting to wait for anything worse to happen.

          “I’ll always be here” his voice rang inside my head. Where is he now? Where was he when I needed him the most? Where is he to protect me? Where was he when I waited for him? He said he was always going to be with me, but broke his words just like that, without an explanation.

          With that, I woke up. I finally realized that I had to try harder. I had to leave. Coming back was a bad idea. I opened my phone and dialed Myungsoo’s number.

          “I had fun tonight. I’m moving to Japan in a few days. If you want to continue getting to know each other, you can come with me.” I recalled Myungsoo’s words when we ended our date.

          After a few rings, I heard Myungsoo’s voice from the other line, “I’m coming with you” I quickly said. I could hear him chuckle from the other line and a short “Ok” from him.

          A few days before our flight to Japan, I visited the café, on last time. I bid my good byes to Jinhee before handing her a letter.

          “Please give it to Sungyeol.” I pleaded which she easily said yes to.

          I walked out of the café and started to walk away. I looked back and once again my heart dropped. Sungyeol was entering the café, again, he was with that girl. I looked away, deciding it was for the best. My thoughts drifted to my letter. It contained everything. Everything I felt about him. Everything that happened in the past two years I was away, and everything after I came back. I wrote everything in that letter. Even the fact that I was leaving for Japan with Myungsoo.

          For the past two years, I tried to forget about him. I tried to forget about my feelings for him. But he never left. He never left my mind. He was always in my heart, and my heart always belonged to him. My heart was and is still his. It will always be his.

          At the airport, I waited. I waited for him to come. I waited for him to beg me not leave. I waited for him to tell me that he was a better man than Myungsoo. I waited for him to tell me his was sorry and to tell me to stay.

          I waited.

          But he didn’t come.

Author's Note:

          As usual, I don't know what i'm writing. I don't know... i've been having some 'sad' feelings lately so... honestly I kind of miss someone. I used to wonder why people used the saying "Waiting for nothing", and now I somehow understand why. I don't understand much why people wait for 'nothing' either but now I know that it actually really happens.

          What am I saying. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed it and I didn't want to make Yeollie nor Myungsoo look bad or anything. I just had to LOL

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