-Hayeon-

 “I hate you so much, Hayeon,” I tear up when Sungyeol says that. I know that I made a big mistake, but it was an accident. Instead of going to his place for a farewell party earlier tonight, I stayed at home with Myungsoo, my close friend. I was crying at my room when Myungsoo came, bringing a box of chocolate for me, which made me happy. And we stayed at my house until I forgot the farewell party. Sungyeol came to my house right after Myungsoo left. And me, being an honest girlfriend, I told him everything that happened without a single lie. Sungyeol knows that I was crying because he would leave me, but he doesn’t seem to care. All he knows is that I was having a great time with Myungsoo when I was supposed to be with him at his farewell party.

 “I’m so sorry, Sungyeol,” I apologize to him, who is standing in front of me in a flannel top and black skinny jeans, “I didn’t mean to…”

 “Don’t speak, I’m really disappointed,” he cuts off my sentence, clearly showing that he doesn’t want me to say anything, “your boyfriend is going to leave you for three ing years, and instead of going to his farewell party, you had a romantic time with another guy here in your house. What the is on your mind?”

 “I forgot, Yeol. I ing forgot it!” I yell at him because he won’t understand my explanation. It makes me upset since this is the last day I see him before he leaves me to go to Australia with his family because of his father’s job. I know he’s disappointed but at least he needs to understand.

 “You yelled at me,” Sungyeol says calmly, but in a deep tone, “we’re done, Hayeon. Do not ever call me, do not go to the airport tomorrow morning, and do not talk to me anymore.”

I don’t know what to say. His words break my heart in a way nothing else can. I become weak as I see him leaving my house without even a good bye. I broke up with the guy that I love so much. I never thought this day would come. I thought everything about me and Sungyeol would last forever.

 “Don’t leave me,” I sob, begging him not to leave me completely. But I don’t know if he hears me. I need to run after him, but I’m afraid it’ll make him hate me even more.

Is this the end?

 

-Sungyeol-

I leave her there, not even listening to what she says. It hurts me too much to know the truth. I expected this night to be a memorable night for both of us, but she screwed it all. I’m really disappointed. Whatever her reason is, I don’t want to know.

 “Sungyeol, please…” I hear her saying my name. I look back, seeing her walking towards me in a fast pace. I stand there, letting her say all the bulls she wants to say. But whatever she says, I won’t change my decision about breaking up with her.

“Yeol, you’re just angry,” she grabs my wrists, but I let go of her, “please don’t leave me.”

 “Angry? No, I ing am not, Hayeon. Now say whatever you want to say but it won’t change a thing,” I point at her face, hoping that she’ll understand how disappointed I am with her.

 “Stop being so stupid, Sungyeol! You don’t get—“ I slap her for calling me stupid. I can see her placing her hand in her red cheek. Did I just hurt her?

 “Hayeon, are you alright?” I know I was wrong for slapping a girl like that. No matter how much I hate her right now, I still feel guilty because of it because I never hurt a girl physically before. That was really unmanly.

 “I’m sorry for everything, Sungyeol,” she apologizes as she leaves me standing there in front of her house.

I don’t know what to do. I hate her but I feel so sorry for slapping her. Guess I will leave her without a good impression. I hate how everything changed in a night.

Is this the end?

 

***

 

Today I’m leaving this place for Australia. Something’s wrong. There’s something which is supposed to be here, but it isn’t here. It feels like a piece of my heart is missing and I need it to stay alive. I try to figure out what’s wrong until I realize that I have one problem.

Hayeon isn’t here.

A few days ago I told her to come to the airport to see me for the last time until the next 3 years. I imagined myself hugging her tight, really tight that she couldn’t even break it. I imagined her crying on my shoulder and I would caress her hair, telling her that everything was going to be okay and I would always love her. I imagined seeing her beautiful face, kissing her, and we would cry together. I have imagined how hard it would be to leave her. But unfortunately, nothing is going right.

Nothing is right without her. I know I’m just a 10^th grader, who is madly in love with his best friend since the 7^th grade. I know I’m too young to understand what love is, but at least I can feel it. I asked Hayeon out like 9 months ago, and I can’t believe it’s over too soon. Why did I do that?

She was right, I was just angry. I regret what I did last night and I wish I could go back to her arms. But I don’t have the courage to talk to her after what happened last night. I’m afraid things will get worse. I wanna tell her that I love her so much. And the problem is, I’m sure she won’t believe me. Why? Because if I really love her, I wouldn’t have slapped her. I feel so stupid. I will feel so lonely in Australia without her. I promised myself not to be in love with a girl there because it would be so hard for me to go back to Korea. All I imagined was spending every night having midnight chats with her, so my feelings for her wouldn’t go away. But now, my pride doesn’t even let me call her.

When will I be able to talk to her again?

 

-Hayeon-

This morning feels so empty without a good morning text from Sungyeol. I spent last night crying, thinking about how horrible my life would be without him. If Myungsoo hadn’t come last night I would’ve been at the airport with him, promising each other not to fall in love with anyone else. 

I really can’t imagine Sungyeol having a new girlfriend there, since I’ve never seen him being so close to another girl besides me. He was my best friend who turned into my boyfriend, but now we’re so close to going back to being strangers. I want this drama to end soon. But, how? I’m sure he still hates me for what happened last night and he doesn’t want to talk to me. I can’t believe this.

I ring Myungsoo up to tell him about Sungyeol. Myungsoo is always there whenever I need him. Yes, he’s my best friend who lives next door. We don’t go to the same school and Sungyeol doesn’t really know him. He has heard several stories about Myungsoo from me but they never really talk to each other.

 “I broke up with Sungyeol last night and… Yeah. I didn’t get to call you because I was crying but I guess I need to tell you everything now.”

There’s a silence for like three seconds before he finally answers, “how?”

 “I forgot that there was a farewell party last night. I didn’t come because I was with you,” I cry a little as I tell it to Myungsoo, “and he was very disappointed because of it. I feel so stupid.”

“Sorry, this is my fault…” Myungsoo sounds guilty. Of course I don’t blame it on him. He only came to give me a box of chocolate from his father who had just come back from Swiss, but he ended up staying with me because I was crying at that moment. He didn’t know about Sungyeol’s farewell party, and I didn’t remember either. It’s my fault, but I already apologized.

And I all got was a slap.

How did I forget that he slapped me? Just a few seconds ago I was sad because of he left me, but now I have a strong reason to move on and forget him. I won’t let a guy slap me just because of some stupid little things. Sungyeol needs to learn how to be more patient.

But… wait. Before last night, everything was okay. I felt so comfortable with him and nothing was wrong when he was beside me. He was a loving, caring guy who never hurt me and I loved him so much. Why is everything so complicated now?

 “No, Myungsoo, this isn’t your fault. It’s mine,” I deny it since he didn’t do anything wrong, “it was mine.”

 “I’m so sorry. Everything could’ve been okay if I—“

 “Shut up, Myungsoo. It’s not your fault,” I say it once again. I don’t want him to feel guilty and responsible for something which isn’t caused by him, “I’m okay now, thank you.”

I hang up before Myungsoo can say anything. I know that there are a lot to tell but suddenly I’m not in a good mood to talk about Sungyeol. All I want to do is forget him now, and try to tell myself that what I had with Sungyeol wasn’t real. I want to wake up with amnesia and forget everything.

But what I had with him was too beautiful to forget.

 

***

 

It’s been a year since that day and I think I have moved on from Sungyeol. It’s unbelievable that I’m now Myungsoo’s girlfriend. I mean, how can I not be his girlfriend? Myungsoo is always here for me. After I broke up with Sungyeol, I spend more time with Myungsoo and yeah, I fall in love with his kindness. I thought it would be really hard for me to forget Sungyeol but I was wrong. Near to Myungsoo, I’m healing. I feel better when he’s around. It was hard at first but even though it took a long time, I finally realized that Sungyeol wasn’t good for me.

 

-Sungyeol-

It’s been a year since that day and I still can’t stop thinking of Hayeon. I regret everything, I regret being so rude to her, I regret my anger, I regret breaking up with her. Now I realized that I’m actually a lost boy without her.

Every night I almost call her just to say it always will be her wherever she is, but I don’t have the courage to say it. I don’t wanna seem stupid. I told her not to call me but now, I’m the one who is dying to talk to her. I spend every night missing her, looking at pictures of the two of us, remembering all the days spent with her. I really miss her and all the things we did.

I stick to my promise not to fall in love with a girl here. I will go back to Korea in two years and Hayeon will come back to me. I don’t want to disappoint her for the second time. I don’t know if she still loves me but I won’t break my promise. Sure, there are lots of pretty girls here but they are nothing compared to her.

I’m torn in two.