I have always believed in happy endings. Probably because of the amount of books I have read or the movies I have watched. I am, though, old enough to know what is right from wrong. But I chose to do the opposite.

I believed I was old enough to experience love; to feel love, to give love and to be loved. I didn't know love can hurt me. Not physically, though, but emotionally. Who knew we weren't for each other? That everything I have believed in were lies?

I was blind. I didn’t see what was happening. I fooled myself in thinking we were for each other. I was deaf. I ignored what the people said, that I should let go. I was used. To think that the people I loved lied to me.

Moving on was hard, yes, but I had to. I want to. I chose to. If he have moved on, why can't I? It's for the best, isn't it?

…

"Hi Sehun." A familiar voice greeted as I make my exit at the park. I shrugged at the sweet tone I haven't heard for months. Hearing the voice made me happy- excited at most. But no. I forgot.

Move on.

I looked up to see who I expected it to be. "Hi…" I trailed off, "Luhan." My heart ached at his name. I looked at the person who had his hand intertwined with his. My heart almost fell, I faked a smile. "Hi Minseok."

"Long time no see." Luhan exclaimed as he pats my shoulder with his free hand. The seemingly happy smile tugs my heart for a deeper fall. Doesn't he remember? Doesn't he feel sad? Yet, I looked at him. I probably stared at him. He still looks amazing. His eyes were as beautiful as when we first met. His hair framed his small face perfectly. I got lost in his brown big eyes for a moment and responded quietly.

"Yeah. Long time no see."

There was an awkward silence that fell on to us. My eyes kept on glancing at their hands. Something’s not right. Their hands doesn’t fit well for each other; or maybe I was just thinking too much. I decided to speak up. "Um," I coughed as I gained both of their attention, "I see you guys are doing well." I motioned to their hands.

Luhan smiled brighter, so as Minseok, and they lifted their intertwined hands in unison as if they were showing it off. Maybe they are. And it makes me sick. "Yep!" He replies as he looks at Minseok, "We're doing really well. How about you?" He added as if mocking me.

"That's… great!" I insisted a smile. "Oh, and I'm fine. You know, high school stuff."

Lies.

"Well, that's... fantastic?" Luhan stated but the last word came out like a question. "I'm happy for you, Sehun." The other boy said.

Happy, my . You're the reason why-

"So, Sehun," I looked at Luhan who had his eyes fixed on me. "We, um, got to go. Talk to you later?"

"Uh, yeah... sure." I rubbed the back of my head and avoided eye contact with the couple. I started walking away as I heard Luhan yelling a final goodbye as I left.

I took three deep breaths and clenched my fists as I walk, almost sprinting. The images from the past flashing back.

"Goodbye", huh?

…

I have always believed in fairytales. No wonder why I'm the one who was hurt the most. Probably because I kept on hoping that maybe, just maybe, we'll end up like Cinderella and Prince Charming. A happily ever after; that was what I was hoping for, wishing for.

Instead, I was one of the step sisters. Did I force myself to him that he became distant? Was I too clingy? Was I really blind? Was I really deaf?

Or it's him who was blind because he didn’t see how hurt I was? It's him who was deaf because he didn’t listen to his heart? No one knows.

Moving on is hard, yes. But I have to. And I'm slowly getting there. Hopefully.

-

"Meet Minseok! My best friend." I smiled as I introduced my best friend to my boyfriend.

"Nice to meet you. My name is Luhan." He offered a hand shake as Minseok accepted it. Luhan gripped Minseok's hand tightly as Minseok did too. They kept on shaking their hands and stared at each other. I felt an unsettling feeling as I watched them.

"Um," I interrupted with a cough as they broke their friendly hand shake. I felt something wrong but I don't know what it was. I simply can't get a grip on it. But my conscience tells me to keep an eye on Luhan. Or maybe both of them.

I'm actually not sure of what was happening. After a week of their meeting, they became close. Too close.

They started to go to the mall together and even rejects me to come. And to be rejected by your boyfriend and your best friend didn't feel good. There was as if a barrier between us. He didn't reply to my messages or answer my calls. Usually, the two of us would eat lunch together in the garden but now, he would always ask if Minseok can join us. He didn't even picked me up for school this week. Actually… Where was Luhan this week?

I trust Luhan. I do.

"Luhan?" But it wasn't my fault that we were in the same mall. "Minseok?" In the same restaurant.

"Sehun?" The two of them said with equally amused voices and surprised faces. "Sehun, let me explain."

I stared at Luhan and glanced at the face of my best friend. "Explain what?" I asked, expecting a quick answer to which I didn't get. I huffed and clenched my fists really tightly.

"Explain why you and Minseok kissed right in front of me."

Luhan stood up and went to me. As he was about to hug me, I took a step back from him. "You're disgusting." I whisper-yell at him. I took a final look at the shameless faces in front of me and walked away.

I trusted Luhan. I really did.

…

I never knew how strong yet fragile I was until I ended the so-called relationship. I am finally free.

Looking back, I realized how stupid I was to not notice the little affair. How both of the persons I loved chose to stab me from behind. I kept the pain for all this time.

Four years after, I became a top student in Seoul University. Yes, I am proud. To think that I, the not-good high school student who would always cause trouble from before, would become an outstanding student now. I guess I underestimated myself four years ago. I didn’t know how capable I was. That I thought love will inspire me and not to break me.

I sigh at the thought of my past and walked out of our class room as my professor dismissed us. I waved goodbye to my new friends who I have met when I entered the college three years ago.

"Sehun," Junmyeon, a senior who I spent most of my time with, called me. "Take care, okay?" He reminded as he joined the others. They walked away to different directions and moments after, I was alone. I took a deep breath before deciding to walk home. I heard someone walking slowly behind.

"Hi…" I flinched at the familiar voice that greeted me from the back. I haven't heard this voice for years now. How I missed it. Yet, it wasn't the same. It wasn't as sweet as before. "Sehun."

I turned around and showed off a happy smile much to his surprise. "Hello Luhan." I greeted as I stood there on my place, frozen. The distance from me to him was big yet it felt like I was right next to him.

Everything about him has changed over time. Before, he would wear a v-neck shirt with random prints and texts he bought at the mall with coloured shorts and sneakers but now, he wore more casually. Before, he would style his hair for a couple of hours and let it stand but now, he cut it shorter and his signature bangs trimmed. His wild piercings gone yet the small tattoo on his collar bone is still visible. He looks more mature now and somewhat older.

Some  things didn't change, though. The way his hands would be tucked in his pockets when he's embarrassed, or the way his eyes would glitter in excitement when he talks. He loved talking. The way his smile becomes really contagious or the way he laughs uncontrollably. When his smile would sparkle when he greets me.

He's still the Luhan I know. The Luhan I loved.

"So…" He started, "I see you're doing well." I followed his eyes that landed on the university's name on my ID.

"Yeah," I showed it off, "I'm actually a top student." I managed to smile at him. And this time, it was real.

Luhan gave me an excited grin. "That's fantastic!" He said as he showed his thumb up at me. "I'm proud of you."

"Thanks."

Luhan didn't reply, neither did I say something. We stared at each other from our distance and stayed still, as if we were communicating with our eyes. We let the cold wind brush our skin and our hair flow with it. The silence was comfortable yet depressing at the same time. We still do have unfinished business after all.

"Look, I'm sorry.” He decided to apologize as he slowly step forward to my direction, “I didn't mean to-"

"Luhan," I cut him off, "I get it. It's okay. I forgive you." I found myself smiling at him even though I was crying on the inside. "Past is past and, well, I decided to move on." These words seems like it stabbed him, like I threw daggers on his chest. The pain was evident in his eyes.

"Sehun…" He walked to me and grabbed my hands. But I quickly shoved him away and took a step back.

I looked at his glossy eyes. "We can at least be friends."

He looked at me with his hurt eyes, almost like shouting something I can’t figure out. Or maybe I just ignored it. But he gives me a smile and a hand stretched towards me. "Friends?" He asked with his shaky voice. A visible tear rolled down his beautiful face.

Without hesitating, I grabbed his hand for a shake and smiled at him. I gripped his hand tightly as he did the same.

"Friends."

…

I have always believed in happy endings. But now, I stopped believing in them. Probably because of what just happened, because of my first love. I thought I was old enough to experience love. I know now that love can hurt me. I know now that we weren't for each other.

In fact, we were both blind. We were both deaf. We were both lost. Lost in our immediate love when it was all infatuation to begin with. The things I have believed in weren't lies. But they were life lessons in disguise.

Moving on was hard, yes, I've been there. And I, happily, have done that.

We don’t know who we truly belong to. The person you meet will probably the one destined to be with you, or he would only be a friend or so. We might think it’s love that we’re feeling when it’s not. We make bad decisions but they lead us to better ones.

"The end" is just the beginning, after all.

…

"Who are you texting?" A voice from behind asked as it made way to sit beside me on the couch. I grinned but I didn't get my attention away from my phone. "Minseok."

"Hey!" The person beside me slapped my shoulder. "I told you to forgive and forget!"

I winced at the pain and looked at him. "Look, is it wrong to talk to our friend?"

"Well, no, not really…"

I laughed at him as he blushes.

"Why are you laughing?"

"Nothing!" I kissed his forehead and ruffled his bangs.

Moments later, my phone rang a tone. I quickly grabbed it and opened the new message from Minseok. I smiled to what I read.

"Look," I showed the message to the person next to me, "He said yes! They're getting married!" I exclaimed as he  jumped in excitement.

"Minseok's a lucky man to have Luhan." He stated as he leaned on me and gave me a comforting hug.

"Well, are you not lucky to have me, Oh Sehun, to be your boyfriend?" I teased.

"No, I'm not!" He laughed and hits me playfully.

"Well," I inserted my hand in my pocket and fished for a familiar small box. "How about being your husband?" I got it out and hid it behind my back.

"What are you saying?"

I slowly showed him a small maroon box on my hand as I watch him with his amused face. He quickly covered his opened mouth in surprise as I got off the couch and kneeled on one of my knee in front of him. I opened the maroon box as a ring with a shining diamond elegantly placed on the middle with little diamond studs were decorated around it was tucked neatly inside.

"Will you marry me, Kim Junmyeon?"

-

a/n: i'm not sure when i'll update because the plot i thought for the second chapter is hard for me lol. and! the second chapter is a surprise!!