It came as a shock to them, the possibility of Kris leaving them. The members were all flustered, sad, hurt, angry and worried. But there's nothing they can do, it's his decision, and as his group mates, friends, brothers, the only thing they can do is wait, and support him. Luhan has seen the members crying, and he couldn't help but let some tears fall from his eyes. He can't break down completely though. He has to be strong for his dongsaengs. Whatever happens, he has to be strong. 

Luhan has laid off calling Kris, but he's worried for his duizhang. So he picks up his phone one day and dials Kris's number. He doesn't really expect Kris to pick up though.

--

Luhan calls twice, waiting patiently, but persistently. But after the fifth call, he breaks.

'，接电话！'
(God dammit, pick up the phone!)

Luhan sents a message to Kris angrily, he doesn't curse usually, so Kris should know that he's serious.

And after 4 rings into the sixth call, it goes through.

"..."

"Kris."

"Hello..."

"..."

Luhan doesn't speak, but neither ends the call. 

Luhan just wants to talk to Kris, to ask why, to scream at him for hurting him and the other members. 

"你现在怎么样？"
(How are you now?)

But he doesn't, because he knows Kris is hurting also, alone.

"还好。" 
(Alright.)

"真的吗？"
(Really?)

"...不是。"
(...No.)

"..."

"你……他们呢？"
(How about you...them?)

"和你一样。"
(The same as you.)

"对不起。"
(Sorry.)

"..."

Luhan wonders what else he should say, but he sees Chen coming out, so he hurriedly tries to end the call.

"我们还爱你。"
(We still love you.)

"我也是。"
(Me too.)

"我有事，下次再聊吧。"
(I have something on, let's talk some other time.)

"...再见，鹿晗。"
(...Let's meet again, Luhan.)

Kris hangs up first, leaving Luhan listening to the dull tone of the phone.

"Will we really?"

Luhan stares at his phone, wondering how Kris is right now. 

Is he crying? Is he feeling guilty? 

"Hyung, we're going to the practice room, you coming?"

Chen asks as he, Tao and Xiumin get ready to set off.

Luhan shakes his head.

"I'm going somewhere. I'll practise later."

Chen just nods simply and heads off. 

Luhan watches them leave and dials on his phone again.

"Manager-hyung, is it okay if I go see K right now?"

"Okay, they are about to perform at MCD now."

Luhan murmurs a reply and heads off on his own. 

The K members will be holding in their tears and doing their best for the performance, and Suho, like the responsible leader he is, will act as the strong one. But Luhan wants to be there 

with them, to give them comfort and support, and not let Suho carry the burden all by himself.

We

Luhan arrives just in time for the ending of MCD, and he's worried when he sees Suho up on stage, alone. He sees Suho's slightly moist eyes and his heart squeezes. He's at the backstage, away from the eyes of the fans. Luhan's not sure if he should stay and watch Suho, or go to K's waiting room, where the members are undoubtly crying or zoning out. Both situations to him are heart-breaking, but as he watch the idols clear the stage for the encore stage in celebration of EXO-K's win, he stays. 'We are one! EXO saranghaja!' Suho's words ring in Luhan's head.

He can't leave now, Suho's alone, on the big empty stage. Luhan remembers the time when all 12 members were running around in a huge circle, celebrating their win together. The stage seemed just big enough then. He feels his nose tingle, and Luhan swallows hard. He won't cry now. Not if he has come here to support his dongsaengs.

Luhan sees Suho giving his angelic smile and thanking the fans, and he's proud of his leader. Proud that the leader who cried when they received their first win ever is now the leader who held in his tears for the members and fans.

"Suho."

Luhan greets Suho calmly as Suho reaches the backstage.

"Luhan-hyung!"

Suho seems honestly surprised that Luhan is here.

"Why..?"

"To give you guys support."

Luhan smiles tiredly.

"To share some of your burden."

Suho widens his eyes.

"But I'm your leader, I should carry the group's burden so-"

"But I'm your hyung."

Luhan cuts Suho's sentence gently.

And at Luhan's words, Suho's front seems to break down.

"Hyung..."

Luhan sees the tears start streaming down Suho's face and he steps forward to engulf his leader in a warm hug.

"I'm here now, so rely on me. Let's go to the waiting room okay?"

Luhan doesn't wait for a reply as he takes the trophy from Suho's hands, wraps an arm around Suho and start leading him towards K's waiting room, guided by a staff.

--

"Thanks hyung, for coming."

They are now at the door of the waiting room.

"I'm one of the oldest here, and I'm also a member, you don't have to thank me Suho-ah."

"All the same..."

Suho smiles, his eyes slightly red from crying on the way.

"Guys, Luhan-hyung's here."

Suho opens the door and steps in before Luhan.

"Luhan-hyung!"

"Hyung!"
 
The 5 members greet him, forced smiles, blank expressions on their face.

"You don't have to pretend in front of me you know."

"...I came to give some support if you guys need it."

No sooner had the words left his lips than Luhan see a mob of brown hair in front of him.

Sehun is leaning down and he wraps his arms around Luhan's smaller frame, squeezing him tightly.

"Lu..."

Luhan, caught off guard for a moment, now pats Sehun on the back comfortingly.

Kai stands up and wraps his arms around Luhan and Sehun. Followed by Suho, then Chanyeol, then Baekhyun and D.O. They stand there, in the middle of the waiting room, engaged in a group hug, with Luhan in the middle and Sehun clinging to him, Kai around the both of them, burying his head, Suho at the opposite of Kai, Chanyeol behind Kai, his long arms reaching to almost 3 of them, Baekhyun burying his head into Luhan's shoulder and D.O leaning onto Sehun and Suho. All members' eyes are closed, with tears flowing from all, except one pair. Luhan is biting his lips and patting Sehun, trying to stay strong for his dongsaengs.

But it's not long before he breaks down too, as a tear drop escapes from his eye.

Are

"Luhan-hyung you're leaving?"

"Yea, I told Chen I'll practise today."

"Oh! I'll go with you then!"

"You should rest, Baekhyun-ah. Aren't you tired?"

"I am, but..."

Luhan laughs lightly and pats Baekhyun's head.

"Then go sleep Baek. I'll buy something nice on the way back for you?"

"Really?"

"Yea, go rest now."

"Okay! Bye hyung!"

Baekhyun waves as Luhan leaved the dorm. 

All the other K members are sleeping after their performance. Lay had came back from practice and is resting too. Luhan wonders if it's alright to leave Baekhyun in the dorm with no one to talk to. He hopes Baekhyun will go to sleep like he has said, it'll be bad if Baekhyun is to overthink and cry again.

--

"Good job everyone!"

Luhan pushes through the door to the practice room, cheering the 3 members who are tired out from their practice.

"Hyung you came!"

Chen stumbles a little as he gets up from the floor and walks over to Luhan.

"Of course! I told you already, didn't I?"

Luhan reaches out to ruffle Chen's already messy hair, and pulls back immediately.

"Eew. Big mistake."

Luhan shakes his hand, sweat droplets flying from his hand.

"Haha hyung! You'll get sweaty anyways."

Luhan scrunches his face and sticks his tongue out while Xiumin and Tao laugh at them.

"Since Luhan's here, let's start practising again!"

Xiumin says as he pushes himself up from the floor, pulling Tao up as the latter stretches his arms out.

"Ehhh Xiumin-hyung! Can't we rest more?"

Chen protests.

"Blame Luhan if you want."

Xiumin shoots back, pointing at Luhan cheekily.

"Hyung why did you come!"

Chen in mock anger turns to Luhan, who punches Chen on the shoulder lightly.

"Who's the one who is excited when I turned up huh."

"Definitely not me."

Chen jokes, Tao and Xiumin cracks up as Luhan's face scrunch up again.

"Come on Chen, let's start practising, else you'll end up like Kri-"

All laughter and cheeriness disappeared from the room as soon as the start of Kris's name left Xiumin's mouth. 

The air is still, perfectly still, it's almost as if no one dares to beathe.

"Why?"

Tao's voice rings out in the silence, his voice cracked.

"I, we don't know."

Chen answered hesitantly. No one knows if he should even have answered it.

"He betrayed us!"

"Tao-"

"He doesn't even love us!"

"You know that's not true!"

Luhan snaps as he hears Tao saying that. 

He knows Tao's angry, but Tao of all should know how much Kris loves each and every member of EXO.

"You know that's not true."

Luhan repeats himself, his voice quieter this time.

Chen looks on, tears already in his eyes, and Xiumin stays silent, a pained expression on his face.

"Then why?"

"We'll have to wait for him to tell us."

With that, Tao burst into tears.

"Why? Kris... Ge..."

Luhan blinks rapidly as he walks towards Tao, as Xiumin pats Tao on his back.

Luhan doesn't pull Tao down to hug him, instead he tiptoes, wrapping his arms around Tao's neck, bringing his head near him. Xiumin and Chen joins them, and once again Luhan is in a group hug. Xiumin and Chen are beside the two, arms around each other and Tao and Luhan respectively.

"他还是爱我们的。"
(He still loves us.)

Luhan whispers as Tao sobs, and even Chen and Xiumin understands what he has said.

Luhan tries hard to keep the tears from escaping, but it's hard to do that, with Tao's sobs ringing beside his ears.

One

"Do you guys want to get something to eat? Hyung will treat."

Luhan grins as all of them collapse on the practice room's floor.

After the little episode, the four of them continued on with their practise, all worries and sadness swept away under the sweat, muscle aches and fatigue.

"Really?!"

Xiumin sits up, eyes sparkling.

"You do know you're the hyung here right Xiumin?"

Luhan raises an eyebrow.

"Alright! Thanks for treating us Xiumin-hyung!"

"Yea! You're the best!"

Tao and Chen, catching on to Luhan's idea, went along with the flow and joined Luhan in tricking Xiumin.

"Wait. What! Hey that's not fair!"

Xiumin grumbles as the other three laugh, high-fiving one another.

The atmosphere is once again, light and cheery, and Luhan hopes that it'll stay this way for a much longer time.

--

"Geez you guys sure eat a lot."

Xiumin mumbles as he looks at his wallet sadly.

"I'm pretty sure you ate a lot too Xiumin-hyung."

Tao teases as Xiumin sends him a glare.

"Luhan what's that you're holding?"

Xiumin points at the bag in Luhan's hand.

"Some relief patches for Kai, his waist seems to be hurting again."

Luhan explains, he doesn't miss the way Kai has this expression on his face whenever he practises. 

Luhan spots a fruits stall and remembers his promise of buying something for Baekhyun.

"Auntie! Do you mind if I try a strawberry?"

The auntie gestures a 'no' and Luhan helps himself.

"I'll have two packets please!"

"What are these for?"

Chen pokes his head over Luhan's shoulder, Tao and Xiumin just behind him.

"For Baekhyun, do you think he'll like them?"

"Yea, he loves them."

Luhan grins.

"Here's one for you too."

Luhan picks up a strawberry and pops it into Chen's mouth.

"Sweet!"

Luhan laughs.

"Why don't I have one!"

Tao whines, Chen sticks out his tongue, Luhan laughs and Xiumin shakes his head and sighs.

EXO

Luhan sits up on his bed, he's tired, both physically and emotionally.

He lets out a small smile though, as he remembers the members' laugh and jokes after the four of them returned from practice.

Baekhyun's eyes had lit up when he saw the strawberries in Luhan's hand, and all members scrambling around him to get some of the fruit.

Kai's eyes was grateful as Luhan handed him the packet of relief patches, with Lay quickly stealing some for his back too.

He just wants this to never end, the suffering is always weighing on the members heart, no matter how happy or carefree they seem at a moment.

"别皱眉头了，会有皱纹的。"
(Don't frown anymore, you'll get wrinkles.)

Luhan feels a pressure on his head, and he shrugs off the hand there.

"别动我的头。"
(Don't touch my head.)

Lay smiles and sits on his own bed, facing Luhan.

"你感觉怎么样？"
(How are you feeling?)

Luhan ponders for a while. How is he feeling? Sad? Frustrated?

"累。"
(Tired.)

"Go sleep."

Lay replies, but Luhan makes no move to sleep. So far Lay is the only one who he hasn't talked to yet.

"你呢？"
(You?)

"气。"
(Angry.)

Luhan looks at Lay, and it hurts him to see Lay with a sad smile. 

"需要抱一抱吗？"
(Need a hug?)

Lay nods, and Luhan tosses off the blanket and starts to move.

"我去你床上。"
(I'll go on your bed.)

"当然。"
(Of course.)

There's a hint of teasing in Lay's voice. Of course no one will get on Luhan's bed except himself.

Luhan smiles as he sits on Lay's bed, Lay's arms wrapping around Luhan's body automatically. 

He feels Lay shake, as he pats Lay on the back lightly, softly singing phrases of Lay's favourite Chinese song. Luhan hates how the only thing he can do to give support is to give the members hug, to pat them on the back, or to murmur soft words of comfort. He wishes he can do something more, something which can make this whole situation disapper, but have Kris with them once again. 

But it's impossible. This situation that they are in right now, they can only wait, only hope for the better in the future. And in the meantime, they can only continue working hard, continue following their dream and continue supporting one another. 

Lay pulls back after a while and rubs his eyes.

 "谢谢。去睡吧。"
(Thanks. Let's go to sleep.)

Luhan nods numbly and returns to his bed, switching off the desk light.

But he sits in the darkness, and waits for the sniffling to stop and the light snoring to start.

Saranghaja

Luhan is now under his covers, lying on his back, looking through his phone.

He looks at the photos of him, Kris and the other members. 

Pictures of EXO eating dinner together, pictures of members after long hours of practice, pictures of them laughing and teasing.

Luhan smiles as he locks his phone and places it on the desk.

"We are one! EXO saranghaja!"

He whispers in a trembling voice.

That night, Luhan cries himself to sleep.

 

 

 

---

:'(

stay strong everyone