Stealing glances

 

For a few brief seconds

I dare to look to my right

To catch a glimpse of him

 

Blonde hair

Furrowed brows

Dark brown eyes

Pouted lips

Boyish smile

 

For the last 2 years

I’ve been stealing glances

At a boy sitting across the aisle from me

 

 

 

 

 

 

Across the aisle

 

Lately I find myself

Studying the girl sitting to my left

Across the aisle from me

 

Dark brown locks

Doe eyes

Flushed cheeks

Pink lips

Angelic smile

 

Wondering why nobody noticed she was pretty.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Along the Corridors

 

In the morning

I would pass him by

As he hung out with his friends

Along the corridors

 

In the short-lived moment

That he was within arms reach

I would feel butterflies in my stomach.

A feeling I would carry the whole day

And in my sleep.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pass me by

 

I thought I was popular with the girls

But she seems to be an exception

 

She would pass me by along the corridors

Without even a smile nor an awkward hi

 

I’m not an attention seeker

But really, is she ignoring me?

Somehow I felt this as a blow to my ego.

And I don’t know why it bothers me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Invisible

 

I dare not speak to him nor even smile at him.

Why would I?

I don’t think he even notices me

Who would?

 

I’m a nerd. He’s a jock.

He’s popular. I’m not.

I look okay. He’s hot.

 

I hang out in the library

and my friends are the librarian, the lunch lady

and the janitor who locks up after class.

 

I fly below radar in stealth-mode.

My status: Invisible

 

 

 

 

 

 

Waiting

 

I think she’s oblivious to my presence.

But then why would she take interest in me?

 

I’m just a jock.

I’m just good at shooting hoops.

I fool around and get detention.

 

While she’s smart.

She’s always the top in every test.

Teachers like her.

 

Everyday I would throw glances at her

Waiting for her to notice me.

And it still beats me why I want her to.

 

 

 

 

 

 

A girl’s dream

 

Everyday I steal a glance at him

And my heart would skip a beat

 

His dark eyes

Seem to reach my soul

 

His smile

Makes my knees go weak

 

I am like moth to his fire

Like an apple falling for gravity

But in reality he is just a dream

 

 

 

 

 

 

A boy’s dream

 

Everyday she passes me by

Leaving me with a trail of butterflies

 

Her hair sways

As if carried by a breeze

 

Her pretty face

Matches her beautiful heart

 

She’s a goddess, an angel

while I am just a boy

And to me she’s like a dream

 

 

 

 

 

 

Just my luck

 

I was coming out from the library

Carrying a pile of books

 

But I was such a klutz

So I tripped

 

I was silently cursing my luck

As I tried to gather the scattered books

 

I was surprised when someone helped me

 

 

 

 

 

 

Serendipity

 

It was an accident of fate

When I saw her trip

 

I came forward to help her

And she looked surprise when she saw me

 

As we finished stacking the books again

She stood up to leave but before she walked away

She smiled at me shyly.

 

“Thanks, Jiyong.”

 

I felt my heart skip a beat.

         She knew my name.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Across the aisle

 

Omo! I talked to him today.

My heart has been racing since then.

 

Will he find it weird

That I knew his name?

 

Oh dear! I said his name.

I felt my cheeks blush.

 

I slowly turned to look

Across the aisle to my right

 

And saw him staring at me

With a smile on his face

 

 

 

 

 

 

Stealing glances

 

I’ve been stealing glances

To my left at her

Waiting for her to throw me a glance

 

The happy feeling of her knowing my name

 hasn’t left me yet

and I’m like an idiot smiling.

 

So she knows me

 

Slowly she turned to look at me

Her pink cheeks blushed further

 

 

 

 

 

 

To my right

 

I look to my right and smile

Knowing he’s just across from me

Staring at me with a smile on his face

 

I could look at him now

If only I could speak up

And tell him how I feel

 

 

 

 

 

 

To my left

 

Watching the girl to my left

has become addicting

because everytime she’ll look my way

she’d smile

 

if only I could get to know her more

 

 

 

 

 

 

Surprise

 

After classes

I hurried to gather my stuff

So I could go home

 

I was surprised when I found him

by the schoolgate

 

Soon he was walking beside me

As he took my books to carry

I turned to look at him

And he was smiling at me.

I smiled back.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Start

 

I felt the need to get to know her

So I decided to walk her home

And start from there

But I don’t know what to say to her

So I just smiled at her

 

Thankfully she smiled back.

I was hoping it was a good sign.

Because I am getting used to her smiles.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Visible

 

The walk home was silent

But I was getting deaf

with the loud beating of my heart

 

Standing outside my house

He turned to me before he left

 

“See you tomorrow Dara.”

 

He knew my name.

As if suddenly I wasn’t invisible.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Realize

 

We walked in silence

But somehow I felt

It was the most meaningful conversation

I have ever had.

 

Weird, but her nearness is comforting

Yet exhilarating at the same time.

I felt a stirring in my heart I haven’t felt before.

And realized what it just might be.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Walking in silence

 

Walking home with him has become a habit

A habit which I do not wish to break

 

It starts with a smile and ends with a smile

The gaps filled by a long silence,

Where we both struggle for something to say

But couldn’t

 

But really, walking in silence is not so bad

When walking beside the boy I secretly love.

The silence is actually comforting,

To balance out the loud pounding of my heart.

 

Because breaking the silence

Is something I am too cowardly to do

 

 

 

 

 

 

Silent conversation

 

Everyday I’d walk her home

The silence lingering around us

 

In my head, I struggle for words

to say how I feel

Afraid that if I speak incorrectly

She would disappear

 

Everyday, we’d exchange smiles

Hoping that for the meantime it was enough

And that meaningful silence

would pass for conversation

 

 

 

 

 

 

Musings

 

I wish I knew what’s on your mind

If you think of me

The way I think of you

Your silence scares me

But when you smile

I feel reassured

Patience seems to escape from me

As I wait to hear your words so sweet

But I must wait

And pray that my lips remain sealed

 

Uncertain of what to expect from you

I fear of love unreturned

Hurt me not for my heart is frail

And I may never recover

(with much faith I hope otherwise)

But for now, it’s enough for me

that everytime I turn to look

you are there

and even in obscurity

I’m happy

 

 

 

 

 

 

Breaking the silence

 

The silence has been hanging around us for a while

And it’s about time I break it

I’ve found the words I have wanted to say

Hoping they were enough

to say how I feel about her

Hoping they mean to her

how much they mean to me

 

 

 

 

 

 

3 words

 

I Love You

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dara

 

I was much too happy to speak

My heart felt like bursting

I was tearing up even as I smile

 

I did not know 3 words could move me as much

 

 

 

 

 

 

4 words

 

I love you too

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jiyong

 

I didn’t know happiness could be found

In her 4 words

 

 

 

 

 

 

The boy to my right

 

I was smiling at the boy

From whom I’ve been stealing glances to my right

And whom I passed by along the corridors

 

The boy who walked with me in silence

Whose 3 words were enough for me

 

I reached for his hand  

Entwining mine

They fit perfectly

 

 

 

 

 

 

The girl to my left

 

I was smiling at the girl

Who sat to my left across the aisle from me

Who has been passing me by

 

The girl who walked with me in silence

And made me happy with 4 words

 

I leaned in

And our lips

Fit perfectly