Title: Electrons and Protons

Pairing: Kangin/Leeteuk

Rating: G

Warnings: AU

Youngwoon wonders if this is why they exists, why the earth spins, why the universe looks like it does. He wonders if its because every electron loves a proton. 

He wonders if there’s any point in all this. He doesn’t know, after all. Maybe all the electrons and the neutrons and the protons actually form something. Or maybe it’s just what it looks like, everyone and everything wandering around aimlessly. 

He doesn’t know anything, except that he is an electron, and that he loves a proton who sounds to him as if it should be white and have magnificent wings and a matching halo. Oh, right, he knows something else. That there are eleven others in love with the proton as well. 

All of them wander around the nucleus, hoping to catch a glimpse of the proton, and yet knowing they would see no more than what they can presently. There’s a strong feeling of attraction, like they were drawn towards this proton, like a magical force that binds them all to this proton, and therefore each other. But there’s a set path that they have to walk on, and no matter how many times they sprint or crawl on it, the path would never lead towards the neutron. It’s a circle.

Youngwoon knows that there are three such circles, one circle surrounding another. And the closer the circle to the neutron, the clearer they can see the proton, the more they fall in love with him. 

In the innermost circle are electrons called Hyukjae and Ryeowook. Youngwoon thinks they are the luckiest, to be able to see the proton so clearly. But they’re always crying, because they say that the proton is always crying, and it hurts them to see it. Nobody knows for sure, since eight of the electrons, the majority, are in the second circle, and those in the second circle can only see the proton’s silhouette. Hyukjae and Ryeowook say that the proton is called Jungsu. But nobody knows for sure as well.

Youngwoon knows that he’s on the outermost circle. He’s with an eccentric electron named Heechul, and frankly, he wonders what he did to deserve this. From the third circle, all they can see is a big opaque orb. Sometimes Youngwoon wonders if he’s being fooled, if Jungsu is really like they say, beautiful with twin dimples. Or if Jungsu really exists. Or if there are such things as protons, and the set path for electrons. Sometimes he thinks if he stops his feet, turn them towards the big orb, and just walk, would he transcend all circles and restrictions and be able to hold Jungsu? He never really dares to try, but he does fantasise all the time, because, although he supposedly feels the least attraction to the proton, he feels like he’s already given a part of himself to this Jungsu which he doesn’t know. 

Then comes the day when he has to say goodbye to them all. The electrons of the third circle is being given away. To where, he doesn’t know. Why, he doesn’t know. How he knows that information, he doesn’t know either. He doesn’t know if this Jungsu really exists, but he feels him let go all the same, feels the curiousity, the attraction, the magic, leave his very being. 

“We have to go sometime.” Heechul tells him. 

“Will we come back?” Youngwoon asks.

“Who know?” Heechul shrugs as if he doesn’t care, and maybe he doesn’t, because he is no longer in love.

But Youngwoon knows that he still loves, somehow, and he will come back, even if it’s never been done before. And maybe then, Jungsu will welcome him back, with his wings and halo and twin dimpled smile.

XXXXXX

Kangin wonders if this is why they exists, why the earth spins, why the universe looks like it does. He wonders if its because every person loves another person. He had said goodbye, but now he’s coming back, and he knows that Leeteuk will welcome him back, with his wings and halo and twin dimpled smile.