Day one.

18:15. Chanyeol unlocking his 3 bedrooms condominium only to find it empty. A sudden uneasiness tugged his heart. Something is not right.

“Baekkie, Baekhyun, are you sleeping honey? I’m hooome…” He called his boyfriend, walking into the house.

He entered the kitchen, placed the shopping bags that he brought on the dining table and saw a folded paper on one of the table’s corners. Frowning slightly, he shifted to reach it and something fell from the paper onto the floor.

Bending over, he realized that the object is a bracelet, the one which he gave Baekhyun on their anniversary 2 years ago. Since then, he never saw it leaves him. His heartbeat quickened in panic. Quickly unfolded the paper in his hand, he recognized the small, neat scribble of his beloved on it.

Channie,

            I'm sorry but I have to go. Please don't search for me. I'm sorry for not being good enough for you. I know it's hard to take but it's really hard for me too. I'm sorry, I love you.

-Baekhyun-

His knees felt weakened as he read the note.  Impossible. He grasp on the edge of the table to support himself from falling onto the floor. Still not convinced by the reality, he called for him. His voices wavered, trembled and filled with suppressed panic.

“B…Baekkie, Baekhyun? BAEKHYUN!! ” He grab his coat that he hung on the chair earlier and rush around his house, slammed open every room in the house hoping this is just a bad joke his boyfriend being play on. To no avail, he runs towards the door, grabbing his keys on the way and sprinted out from his house.

W…why?

Have to go?

But where?

Where do you have to go?

Months.

06:00. He wakes up from bed feeling the empty coldness besides him on the right side of the bed. Sighing, he gets up and walks to the bathroom while ruffling his messy bed hair and fetch his towel on the way. It is just another day of emptiness.

The scent of coffee and something sickly sweet filled the air, knock into his fogged mind that the day had begun. After giving his usual order, he took a seat and stares mindlessly towards the busy streets from the coffee shop. It is some kind of ritual for them to go the coffee shop every morning and sat at the table beside the large glass window.

"Your coffee, sir," the waitress gentle voice breaks his daze. It seems just seconds goes by. After thanking her, Chanyeol stir his coffee and saw another extra cup in front of him. He face palmed in realization. Looks like he going to bring another to work again.

11:00. He sips the remained quarter of the already cold caramel macchiato when his phone suddenly buzzing on his desk. Smiling he turn off the alarm. It's time to say his love to his angel now. Humming slightly, he scrolls his messages on the phone but stops abruptly. His smile flattened and he sighs. Putting the phone back slowly, he shakes his head a little and continued with his work on the computer.

17:00. The sun seemed to be basking in its own rays. It hovered over the horizon, and bright fuschia and apricot collided with the deep blue sky. Chanyeol tapped on the starring wheel as he hummed to their song, Lucky by EXO. Steadily, he made his way through the traffic, took a right turn when he saw the sign 'Lee Art Gallery'. Then a few blocks from the turn, he slow down and stop in front of a 2-storey building. In front of the main entrance of the building, a woman seems to be in the process to close the gallery for the day. The woman turns around and picks a few of paper bags on the floor. Her eyes widened when she saw Chanyeol’s car.

Chanyeol’s head jerked toward his right as he heard a tapping noise through his car window. He lowered the screen to greet the woman.

“Hi, Mrs Lee,” he said with a smile.

“Hi Chanyeol, what are you doing here, again?”

“I don’t know. It’s hard to break a habit,” Chanyeol answered with a laugh. Mrs Lee gave him a sympathetic looks.

“Oh dearest, have you heard any about him yet?” Ask her. They know who is she asked about.

Chanyeol sighs and shakes his head. He leaned more of his body towards the woman.

“How about you, Mrs Lee? Have you found the replacement?”

“I’ve been waiting for anyone to sign up for registration,” reply her nodding towards the job advertisement for artiste assistant that hung on one of the glass walls of the gallery. “It’s a pity he quits his job. He is very talented.”

Chanyeol nods his head. After saying goodbyes to each other, he took a U-turn back to the route he took before and turn left towards his house.

20:00. He twirled the spaghetti with his fork mindlessly before stuff it inside his mouth. His gaze fell on the opposite site of the table. He always accidently made almost everything ready for two. He sighed weakly.

Where are you?

Are you alright?

What are you doing right now?

Have you eaten?

Is there someone will cook for you?

Or are you okay just eating out?

Suddenly, a faint sound of thunders followed by the pitter-patter of the rain could be heard from the place. Oh no.

Will you really be alright?

I hope there is somebody will protect you from the thunder.

Comfort you.

Assure you.

Will you be alright without me besides you?

Seconds.

“Good morning, Chanyeol,” Chanyeol turned his head towards the source of the musical voice. Jessica smiles pleasantly at him.

“Good morning, Jess,” Chanyeol smiles back at her. Jessica is his boss’ secretary and apparently, his cousin.

“Want to go to the conference room together?” Ask Jessica.

“Sure.” Taking his ipad, he gestured to Jessica to lead the way.

“Say, Chanyeol, how are you doing these days?”

“Well, nothing. Just living my life normally,” Jessica gave him a sympathy smile. She knew the whole story about him and Baekhyun.

“How about you? Doing great?” Chanyeol ask gesturing towards Jessica’s swelled big belly. She laughed.

“I’m –“ their conversation were cut by Chanyeol’s phone buzzing inside his pocket. Smiles apologetically, he answered the call.

“Hello. Kris?” Kris is his best friend since childhood who is a doctor in the hospital.

Jessica stared at him curiously as he tensed and frowned. Slowly he drops his hand and end the call.

“What’s the matter, Chanyeol?”

“Baekhyun, they found him. He’s at Emergency department right now.” He clenched his fist tightly.

“Go, Chanyeol. Go to him. I’ll cover for you.”

“Thank you, Jess. I owe you this time.” Chanyeol ran towards the elevator, getting a few weird looks from his colleagues.

Years.

Saturday. They laughed as they entered the coffee shop. They hold hands, making their way towards their usual table. Chanyeol went to place their orders and plop down back in front of his boyfriend.  He takes Baekhyun’s hand, his thumb caress the outer side of his hand in affection. They smiled towards each other but no words been exchanged, just a bliss silence.

“Your coffee, sir,” the waitress smiled pleasantly as he places their coffee on the table, “Is your friend is not here with you today, sir? It’s been a long time since I’ve seen him with you.”

Chanyeol frowned at her. Did he not see that Baekhyun is in front of her? The waitress excused herself and continues her job. Chanyeol and Baekhyun exchanged questioned looks and just dismissed it. Maybe it’s just a joke. A weird one.

Monday. There was a tinkle of bell as they entered the studio. Today is a special day. But he couldn’t remember what event to be celebrated. They celebrate it anyway. It’s like a special date. The owner of the small studio greeted them.

“May I help you?”

“We want to borrow a piano for a while. But we’ll pay, of course. Right, Baekkie?” Baekkie just smiled and nodded to him. The owner looks confused.

“We?” Chanyeol nodded and smiled eagerly at him.

After being showed to the piano, the owner gave them a weird look before left them alone. They excitedly take a seat beside each other. Rubbing his hand, he grinned to his boyfriend.

“So, what are we going to play?”

“Hmmm…” Baekhyun tried to think an idea, putting his index finger under his chin.

Chanyeol started to play a tune. Baekhyun’s eyes widened in realization and he starts to sing with the music.

Gateun narae taeeonaseo gateun eoneoro mareul haeseo
Cham haenguniya, cham dahaengiya
Sesange dangyeonhan geon eobseo

Being born in the same country
Talking in the same language
We’re so lucky, it’s such a relief
Nothing is for certain in this world

Gwaenchanheun oseul ibeotdeon nal
Geureoke neoreul mannatdeon geon lucky
Na chakhage saraseo geurae

On a day that I wore nice clothes
I met you, I was lucky
It’s because I did good in the past

Chanyeol started to sing along with him.

Neoui ireumeul bureugo neoui soneul jabado doeneun na
Buseojineun haessareun naman bichuna
Na ireoke haengbokhaedo dwae?
Naui ireumeul bureugo naui eokkaee gidae oneun neo
Jeo haneurui haessareun neoman bichuna
Neo geureoke nunbusyeodo dwae?
So lucky, my love so lucky to have you
So lucky to be your love, i am hmm

I can call your name and I can hold your hand
Is the falling sunlight only shining on me? Can I be this happy?
You call my name and you lean on my shoulder
Is the sky’s sunlight only shining on you? Can you be that dazzling?
So lucky, my love
So lucky to have you
So lucky to be your love, I am. hmm

There’s a drop of water fall onto his hand. Then, another drops. Suddenly, his vision became blurred. He stops playing at all. His right hand slowly touched his face. He was crying. Crying without him even realized it. But Baekhyun kept singing like he is not even aware that the music had stopped already.

Wednesday.  The cool breeze of the autumn afternoon wafted as they strode side by side along the stone pathway of the park. Their hands clasped each other’s, exchanging heat from their bodies through it. Baekhyun then leaned over, wrapping his arms around the Chanyeol's arm and resting his head on Chanyeol’s shoulder as they continue to stroll along the footpath.  Neither of them knew that their actions are being observed from afar.

Suddenly, a rush of air blew some of the fragments of colours of red, golden and yellow onto the already carpeted ground of the similar colours. It is also did not forget to drop by on top of Chanyeol’s brown hair. Being aware of the scene, Baekhyun chuckled attracting Chanyeol’s attention to him.

“Hmm…?”

Baekhyun grinned at him and reach out to his head, brushing the leaves that stuck on the surface of his hair. He picked out the most perfect one and twirled it between his thumb and index finger.

“I love autumn. It’s like the world becoming the best thing they can be; bursting forth in brilliant colours before the bareness of blacks and whites of winter takes place.” Then, he quietly recites a stanza from John Keats.

Season of mists and mellow fruitfulness, 
        Close bosom-friend of the maturing sun; 
    Conspiring with him how to load and bless 
        With fruit the vines that round the thatch-eves run; 
    To bend with apples the moss’d cottage-trees, 
        And fill all fruit with ripeness to the core; 
            To swell the gourd, and plump the hazel hells 
    With a sweet kernel; to set budding more, 
        And still more, later flowers for the bees, 
        Until they think warm days will never cease, 
            For Summer has o’er-brimm’d their clammy cells.

Chanyeol smiled watching him sunk in his own world. For him, he looks beautiful during those times. Slowly he brought his hand to Baekhyun ear and brushed the loose strands of his hair back. Baekhyun turned his head to him, asking in silence. Chanyeol smiled softly to him and shakes his head a little. They continue walking, silently counting the arranged bricks on the pathway.

A bit far on the back, stood two men observing them.

“This is too much,” said one of the men. His friend, who is taller than him nodded to his statement in approval.

“We should confront him,” reply the tallest as they walked to the opposite way from the couple.

Friday. It was a surprise visit. Chanyeol was just finihed dressed after taking a shower and let his boyfriend inside to do his. Then, the doorbells ring. Hastily, he rushed to the door and took a peek before let his guests in.

“Hey Joonmyeon, Kris. What a pleasant surprise. To what do I owe this pleasure?” said Chanyeol gesturing for his two guests in.

“It’s nothing, really. We happened to pass through the way and we thought we should pay you a visit,” said Joonmyeon to him smiling.

“Oh, I should tell Baekkie that his brother is here,” reply Chanyeol as he turned a little to head to his bedroom but stopped by Joonmyeon. His expression is unreadable.

“It’s okay. Actually, we want to discuss about something with you.”

“Okay. Let’s go to the kitchen. I’m going to make dinner anyway,” said Chanyeol, leading their way.

They had a light conversation in the kitchen as Chanyeol making the dinner for all of them. They teased Kris for kept replying messages in his phone throughout the conversation made him blush madly. Apparently, he had found someone amidst his hectic works in the hospital.

“So, what do you want to talk about?” Ask Chanyeol as he placed the last plate of noodles with chicken stir fry on the table. Joonmyeon and Kris look at each other before Joonmyeon cleared his throat.

“Chanyeol, you have to stop this.”

“What is that?” Ask Chanyeol frowned.

“This!” Joonmyeon spreads his arms, his palms facing upward. “Baekkie is dead, Chanyeol. He loves you, but this getting insane now, Chanyeol.  Baekhyun isn’t alive anymore.”

“But Joonmyeon, you don’t understand,” Chanyeol voice was desperate.

“Yes, Chanyeol. We do,” said Kris. “We all do. We are families to him.”

“No, you don’t. He is here. There, he is standing in front of the door. Can’t you see him?” Chanyeol said as he pointed to where Baekhyun stood, watching them. Joonmyeon and Kris turned to the direction Chanyeol pointed to them. Their expressions were a mixture of horror and worry.

“Chanyeol…” Kris started.

“Stop it.”

“NO CHANYEOL! You are the one who have to stop!” Joonmyeon practically jumping out of his seat, sending it thumping to the ground as Chanyeol tensed up in his own seat. Kris touched Joonmyeon’s arms, trying to calm him down. “You are only making things worse for yourself, Chanyeol.”

Chanyeol silenced for a moment before he look up at Joonmyeon in the eyes, full of hatred and hurts.

“Get out.”

“Chanyeol…” Kris started again. Chanyeol shakes his head.

“No, get out from this house. NOW!” Joonmyeon and Kris exchanged looks before slowly rose up from their seat and made their way out of his apartment.

After the two guests of his out of his house, Chanyeol buried his head in his arms on the table, sobbing miserably. Baekhyun is still watching him from afar without making any moves.

Hours.

The next day after the episode with Baekhyun’s brother, Joonmyeon and his best friend, Kris, his doorbells rang again. He opened his door a little before tried to close it again as he saw who is his guest is but Joonmyeon blocked him faster. Sourly, he said,

“What do you want?”

“We want to show you something.”

“No,” Chanyeol said as he tried to close his door again but Joonmyeon gripped hold of his arm, dragging him out of his house.

“Joonmyeon! You’re hurting me, Joonmyeon! Baekkie, help me!” Chanyeol wiggled his arm to escape but Joonmyeon just tightened his grip despite of their height differences. “Joonmyeon!”

Joonmyeon dragged him to Kris’s car and throw Chanyeol and himself in the car.

“Now, Kris.” Kris nodded to him through the mirror as he started to drive away from Chanyeol’s apartment complex. Silence filled the car throughout the drive. Just Joonmyeon’s voice sometimes could be heard as he gave the right directions to Kris.

The car slowly turned to a road before stopped on the road side. Beside the road, there is a green field filled with arranged black marble blocks on it and trees surrounding it. They went out of the car to the field with Joonmyeon still dragging Chanyeol along the way. They passed through a few lines of marble blocks before entered a way to the middle of a marble blocks line. Joonmyeon let go of Chanyeol’s arms, making him tumbled to the ground in a panting mess.

“Look Chanyeol! Look who lying six feet under this, Chanyeol,” Joonmyeon said desperately to Chanyeol, signalling to the black marble block in front of him. There are a few lines of words written on the marble stone, or more precisely, on the gravestone in front of him.

In Loving Memory of

Byun Baek Hyun

1992 – 2023

"The greatest gift in life is love."

Chanyeol palmed his mouth in disbelief before he broke into tears. Again. Even as Joonmyeon and Kris crouching on the ground beside him, he couldn’t shirk the feeling of loneliness that had set itself in his mind again.

“H – How could I forget?” he whimpered in his sobbing as Joonmyeon enveloped him in his arms and Kris patted his back, soothing him. His memories played back all the evidences of Joonmyeon’s statement the day before.

He ran breathlessly into the hospital to find Kris, the one who told him about the accident.

“W-where is he?” He asked him.

“Theatre, he is in very bad condition.”

“H-how – “

“They said he walks himself onto the engaged street despite the red no-walking light and got hit by a car,” Kris explained.

“B-but how can – that’s impossible! He should have seen the light!”

“The previous data of his medical history reports show that he had brain cancer for almost a year now. That’s explained why he hadn’t seen the light. They are doing their best to safe him but the percentage he would survive is low.”

“Is your friend is not here with you today, sir? It’s been a long time since I’ve seen him with you.” No doubt the waitress can’t see Baekhyun. He really did not present there. That explained the untouched coffee.

Today is a special day. But he couldn’t remember what event to be celebrated. They celebrate it anyway. He remembered now. It is Baekhyun’s death anniversary date.

He had been so convinced… so convinced. He was so sure Baekkie was with him again. Then, was all of this time, the Baekhyun who have been beside him, living inside his house all along is his mind playing with him?

“What… w – what should I do?” he whined as he sobbed harder already damped shirt that hung on the elder’s body.

“We going to get you help. We are still with you, beside you. I’m sure Baekkie don’t want you to be like this,” said Joonmyeon quietly.

“But… b – but he said, he not going to leave me. He said he wouldn’t.”

“Yes, he is still with us. Inside our hearts and memories. But you have to let him go. I’m sure Baekkie wants you to let him go, Chanyeol.”

When he came back to his apartment, the uneasiness silence hit him once again. But he had to cope with it. He had to live in reality. Baekhyun had gone. He had gone for real.

New days.

Chanyeol returned to the same coffee shop. Stirring his coffee slowly, he indulged himself again inside the blend of sweet and coffee scent in the shop. The coffee shop is full today. He leaned his back on the chair, as he put in his earphone and lost in the music.

His blissful moment suddenly interrupted by a tap on his shoulder. A man, looks around his age, appeared inside his sight area as he opened his eyes.

“Excuse me. Is this seat taken? The others are full already,” explained the man apologetically.

“Oh, sure,” answered Chanyeol smiling, gesturing him to take the seat across. He thanked him gratefully as he let himself comfortable on his new-found seat. Chanyeol watched as he stirred his coffee and a familiar, too familiar scent reached him. He smiled softly.

“So, Caramel Macchiato huh?”

A/N:

Hello~ I hope you enjoy this story..please share some piece of your mind about this story..hehe