FINAL
Thank You, Myungsoo-ah.He became different.
Maybe it's also the reason why our love became different.
We only talk when it's needed.
He doesn't initiates our conversation anymore.
I always do.
We only kiss and hug each other occasionally.
Heck, I can even count it with my fingers now, unlike in the past.
I can't remember when's the last time we ate together.
Oh right, that's when Sungyeol hyung's birthday bash which was..
Uhmmm..
Two months ago..
The worst thing is that I don't even know why it happened.
It just occurred?
Is that even possible?
Suddenly, you fall out of love?
"Good morning." I greeted as I saw my lover woke up. His expressionless face greeted me like the usual.
Even so, you can't deny his face is still gorgeous as ever. He stood up from 'our' bed.
Emptiness.
His body may be here yet, I'm feeling that he's forced to do it.
Maybe I'm just thinking too much?
How I wish I am.
I looked at our apartment.
It used to be so bright and dazzling.
Now, it's dull and cold.
Somehow, indifferent..
"Will you eat breakfast?" I asked with a smile. He quickly shook his head and headed outside. Without those cheesy and cute goodbyes.
Which I miss.
I really don't know when this cold treatment of his started.
A year?
Or maybe, my heart and mind got numb because of this that I even forgot.
In spite of that, why does it feel like I'm being in this for centuries?
Will this even end?
I’m still waiting.
Waiting for the chance for him to change again.
Then again, why do I feel it's already futile?
I'm uncertain if I can hold on any longer.
"Welcome back home! I made you din-"
"I'm not hungry." I did my best to keep my smile up, trying to keep my composure.
He made his way to the couch and the television. As he's browsing the channels, looking for a good show to watch, I sat quietly next to him. "Do you mind, if I talk to you?" I asked. This is actually for the first time I had courage to ask him in how many days? months? I don’t know, years? "Can't you see I'm watching something? I'm tired." I sighed.
I lost count of how many times, you've rejected my help and other things I've proposed.
I’m human, Soo-ah.
I’m also getting tired.
"Soo-ah, you've changed." I heard him chuckle with fakery. "Are you out of your mind? I'm just tired." He ended the conversation just like that.
I went to our room to see no one inside. He must be showering. My eyes got fixed on his phone which he never leaves alone. I looked around and got the phone.
Password.
After trying so many combinations I've got the right match.
I quickly look at his messages.
Hoya hyung
Woohyun hyung
Sungyeol hyung
Sungjong
He changed my name.
Then, I saw a name that made my blood boil.
Doyeon <3
"What are you doing?" I gulped at the tone of his voice. "W-Who's Doyeon?" I asked bravely as I look at him. He grabbed his phone from my hand hard. "You have no right to look at my phone!" My heart shattered into pieces. I look at him with disbelief. "What in the world are you talking about?! From the last time I checked, I AM your lover, mister!"
"Who in the world is Doyeon?! And why the hell does her name have a ing heart!" I burst out. I can't believe him. "Why don't you answer me!!!!" I screamed out. "Calm down.." I felt tears left my eyes, out of frustration.
"Calm down?! How am I supposed to calm down when I just knew you were cheating on me with a ing !" I felt tears left my eyes, out of frustration. "You're not even denying it.." I closed my eyes, trying to ease the pain I'm currently experiencing.
I felt he hugged me. I weakly pushed him. "I don't know what came over me.." I punched him chest weakly. "W-why are you doing this to me?" I sobbed.
"I'm sorry.. I won't do it again."
I forgave him with his just one sorry.
Call me martyr or whatever you want.
This isn’t what I wanted anyway.
Days pass by, my suspicion grew on.
He kept on going home late, but the new thing is he’s nice to me.
Out of pity?
I know that this love isn't alive anymore, nevertheless I'm still here doing my best to revive it..
Why am I still here, getting myself suffered?
Honestly, I also have no idea.
I took a day off for me to go for a visit to his office.
Yeah, this will be the final.
"Good morning! Is Kim Myungsoo here?" I greeted the receptionist.
"S-Sungjong-sshi, Kim-seonsaengnim is currently b-busy at this moment.." The receptionist looked anxious. My heart broke because of this. "It's alright, I'll wait for him at his office."
"NO! I-I mean.." I forced up a smile. "I'll go there myself."
"Seonsaengnim said that h-he doesn't want anyone to go to his office at this moment." I ignored him as I walk down the hallway.
"Sungjong-sshi!"
To my surprise, the door is not locked. I slowly opened the door.
I felt the whole world crashing into me.
I expected this..
I expected this..
Yet, why does it still hurt this much?
Why doesn't the pain lessen?
It only became worse..
"M-More.." His moaned.
Disgusting..
Tears streaming down my eyes. I looked away, can't take a look at the scene and screamed. "S-Sungjong.." Myungsoo looked at me with wide eyes as he quickly put on his clothes. He held my hands.
"Let's end this... " I sobbed as I pulled my hands from him. "Please let me explain-"
"EXPLAIN?! AFTER ALL THIS YEAR! I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU TO EXPLAIN!" I choke back a sob. "I held on and waited for you. My efforts are in vain..." I cupped my mouth to stop myself from crying out louder.
"I don't know-"
He forcefully held my face as he kissed me. I pushed him hard to stop him from doing so.
"DON'T KISS ME AFTER YOU WITH YOUR !!" I screamed. "Please.. let me-"
"You left me a long time ago.. It's time for me to leave you.." I let myself calm down. "I've had enough, I've had more than enough, Myungsoo. Let me go..."
"Jong-ah, tell me what happened. Please this silence is killing me." Woohyun hyung looked so worried. "I saw you on the streets, crying out and now you won't even speak to me." I stared blankly at the ceiling.
What am I doing?
"Did you something happened to you and Myungsoo?" Woohyun hyung asked softly.
Myungsoo.
I felt tears left my eyes. "Aigoo, so something happened..." Woohyun hyung wiped my tears away as I felt warm arms enclose me. I can't help but sob because it’s been a while since I felt this kind of warmness.
The warmness I longed for.
"I don't want this hyung.. Please tell me this is a dream.. Please.. Please.." I begged. I don't want this. Please someone tell me this is only a dream. No, a nightmare. I clutched hyung's t-shirt as I felt more tears gushed out my eyes.
"Jong-ah, I have no idea what you're talking about. This is driving me mad.." I lost him. I lost him, to a girl.
"H-He cheated on me.." I teared up once again. "With a girl.." I felt hyung tightened his hug on me. "I've had enough but, why does it hurt so much?" I cried.
It hurts.
I used to say to my friends to move on and don't cry.
I never knew break ups are excruciating.
I totally got the wrong idea of it..
"Hyung will always be here.. Everything will be fine, Jong-ah." He comforted.
I wish it will.
FLASHBACK!
“Jonggie, don’t ever leave me!”
“What’s this? Suddenly?” I giggled. “I won’t! Promise me also, you won’t leave me!”
“I wouldn’t because I love you too much! Forever?”
“Forever!” I answered with a genuine smile.
FLASHBACK!
“What’s forever now?” I took a shot from the soju bottle. “Sungjong! What in the world are you doing?!” I glared at the person who took the bottle from me. “Sungyeol hyung.. *hics* G-Give me thattttt..” I close my eyes from the dizziness.
“Stop this. This won’t take you anywhere!” He frowned. “Like I care, I lost everything! Every single thing I have! I don’t have a homeee. I don’t have Myungsoo with me! Why do you even care?!”
“Even if you drink all of these, those things won’t come back to you. Come here, you’re too drunk to even understand what I’m telling anyway.”
“Noooo, I’m not that drunk hyunggggggg..”
“Oh yes you’re not..” He sighed.
“I’m sorry about yesterday hyung..”
“Go abroad, Jong-ah. I’ll help you. This will make you busy and not even think of the pain.” He sighed. “Give yourself a chance. I know moving on is hard, but, you shouldn't let yourself be a slave of the past..” I gave hyung a weak smile.
“I’ll think about it..”
AFTER A FEW YEARS...
"When was your first love? I'm sure a lot of women or even men would like to know if you ever have one?" She asked me with a smile.
"Actually, my first love which I also thought was my last. At that time, I knew that not everybody has a happy ending or maybe it’s still not my time to have one."
"I'm sorry but, the two of you broke up?"
I smiled. "Unfortunately, yes."
"If you don't mind, can we ask how did you break up and move on?"
"I'm not sure what happened. I suppose that is what you called 'fell out love'. When I went abroad, my hyungs helped me. To be honest, its not an easy to move on just like that. In my first few months, I still can't help but, to think of him. I don't believe that work can make you forget. In my opinion, if you just let get drown in work, you'll get lonely and make it hurt even more. "
"Do you regret it?"
"No, I don't regret loving that person. Actually, i'm thankful that he did that. He made me stronger by breaking my heart. He gave me a better and a new start. Love. Love is such a wonderful thing. I think love is a very precious thing because even if it hurts you, it will eventually be the one who heals you."
"Thank you very much, Sungjong-sshi!"
"I think this interview turned into some kind of love talk or something..." I laughed. All of them laughed. "Once again, this is Lee Sungjong-sshi. One of the successful entrepreneur in Korea! I hope you had fun today!"
"Oh yes, I did." I smiled.
"Oh sure!" The MC nodded.
If ever we meet again in the near future. I'll only say three words.
Thank You, Myungsoo-ah.
Hello everyone!
Thanks for reading!
I'm sorry for the wrong grammars because English is not my native language.. :)
Hope you like it! XD
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