[Eunhae]
Writer's Bloopers* * *
Hours after the sun had set, the salty air was still b with heat. The tiny grains of sand were still warm. And Hyukjae still felt like chocking on that immense warmth that didn’t appeal to him at all.
An overplayed American song was spinning in the background. Light wind was whistling cheekily through a typical resort town, of the inexpensive kind students prefer.
For much of his first day on holiday, Hyukjae was merely sitting at the beach bar, gazing around at all the happy young people and wondering why his own summer ended up being such a fail.
But even his very thoughts felt heavy in that stupid heat, so he resorted to simply staring at the ocean, the waves performing their unpredictable dance in the wind.
Finally, all light dived under the horizon, and all Hyukjae could do was fiddle with the cheerful paper umbrella and sip his umpteenth cocktail.
Hyukjae suddenly wondered why the hell he even came here. Despite a million summer plans he and his friends from university had made in excited chat, none became a reality. To tell the truth, his circle of friends was quite a disorganized one, a fact with drove Hyukjae insane. He knew they’d missed a ton of fun, and why? Just bad organization and laziness.
To a lonely Hyukjae, what would’ve been a fun place ended up only being irritating. More than anything, the laughter of the students around him was unbearable, and crooked fangs of jealousy bit into Hyukjae’s chest. Stupid kids.
And, man, did the guy at the bar get his order wrong, again? Could this day get any more irritating?
“Hey. I asked for a Mojito, not a Cosmo.”
“Oooops, sorry! I’m really sorry!”
Still in a bitter daze, Hyukjae watched the thin boy working at the bar. At least the boy was having a worse holiday that him, Hyukjae thought in sadistic satisfaction. Probably, the boy would get some lame excuse of a wage at the end of the day, having been bored to death by this crazy heat and rowdy customers. What’s worse, all the girls in a ten-meter radius seemed to be checking the boy out, while he was desperately trying to avoid their flirty gazes, obviously feeling very uneasy.
“Um, that guy asked for a *, not a *. The * was for the redhead on the left.”
Just why was he helping out that hopeless kid? Pity, perhaps. Suddenly, it came to Hyukjae that the two of them were probably the only ers on this whole goddamn beach who weren’t having a ridiculous amount of fun.
“Hey, thanks, man!” smiled the boy, strangely cheerful for someone who obviously hadn’t had money for a proper holiday, but was forced to look all day long at all the lucky people who did, and even smile at their lame jokes and ambiguous comments from the girls.
And not only girls?!
“Can I please get one, hmm, on the beach~?” smiled a dark-haired man, the voice playful but confident.
Oh come on! That joke’s in prehistoric! snickered Hyukjae in his mind, letting a few chuckles actually slip his lips.
“Hey! You’re embarrassing me in front of customers! And how will that affect your beloved profit, huh?”
Only now had Hyukjae realized that the dark-haired guy the bartender* was talking to was dressed in full formal wear, even a suit, on this smouldering beach which was a freakin sauna day and night!
“Say, Siwon, how many drinks have y-“
A clear laughter filled the air, as Hyukjae spun around to see the gentleman-like person fall asleep right there at the counter, a seductive smile still frozen on his lips, his hands an improvised pillow, all elegance thrown out the window.
“Heh, guess my boss doesn’t have much of a tolerance to alcho- WOAH!”
A moment later, the splatter* of glass rang through the night.
“Ooooops! Oh , that’s the eigth glass this week!”
“And the third one today!” chuckled Hyukjae, but suddenly feel silent. Wasn’t it a bit creepy that he even knew that? Thinking back, Hyukjae realized he hadn’t taken his eyes off the boy at the bar for the past few hours. The thought made him feel very odd. He hoped his remark would pass unnoticed, hell, the boy maybe didn’t even hear him.
But the boy actually giggled in reply. “Since you’ve got nothing to do, might as well help me out! I’m not cut out for this, it seems.” he added, shruggling his shoulders.
“Oh, you mean you’re too clumsy?”
Even insults seemed to have no effect on those eternally smiling eyes.
Just how does he do that? How can he be so happy without a reason?… wondered Hyukjae, as he took his place behind the counter, feeling a bit awkward to do so. But the awkwardness disappeared into thin air, as both Hyukjae and Donghae suddenly doubled up with laugher, cracking up loud enough to earn curious stares, after Hyukjae had stuck a silly pink paper umbrella behind the sleeping boss’ ear.
Miraculously, the heat and the carefree atmosphere didn’t choke Hyukjae any more.
* * *
"...Well... I'm all packed up."
That didn't come out as he wanted, Hyukjae noticed with a sigh. He had intended to sound cheerful, to brighten up this daytime darkness that had suddenly fallen over his hotel room. But, despite his best effort, the words were dry, a completely useless piece of information. If anything, Dongahe seemed even closer to tears.
We’ve been here already, Hyukjae frowned. We had already said goodbye last night, and he didn't seem upset... But if this lasts a minute longer, he's going to miss his bus - and I'm already late for mine.
Before Hyukjae could speak, Donghae asked, the words hardly audible.
"We've... had a good time, hadn't we?"
Finally, an opportunity to end this stupid sadness! thought Hyukjae, jumping at the chance.
"Of course we had! I thought that was obvious!"
For a moment, Donghae mirrored Hyukjae's smile. But he hadn't exactly had a good time. He'd had the time of his life.
"Your things are already downstairs, right? Didn't forget anything?"
"No..."
Why the hell is he just standing there?
A loud and angry BEEEEEEEEEP!!! echoed from below.
"I think that was your bus." said Hyukjae carefully, trying to sound casual, as memories of the past days knocked viciously on the door of his mind.
Finally, Donghae took a step towards the door, which had been standing wide open for quite some time. The bus outside beeped again, waiting for a passanger that wasn’t coming.
“Wait, so you were serious about not giving me your number?!” suddenly exclaimed Hyukjae, mentally slapping himself as he heard hurt revealed in his words.
With shimmering eyes, Donghae spun around, a sudden conviction in his voice. “You know what will happen if I do. You know how it goes.”
Shaking his head at the defiance in Hyukjae’s glare, he repeated what Hyukjae had already heard.
“We exchange numbers, we call each other everyday at first, life goes on, we keep in touch because we feel obliged to, and, with time, we’re either a burden to each other, or we completely drift apart. Is that what you want?”
That again, sighed Hyukjae, pressing his lips into a thin line. “It doesn’t have to be like that” replied Hyukjae, his words pale and unconvincing. They were a dead end. On this subject, there was no discussion. Both knew Donghae was right. Experience had taught them that was the way their summer crush must end.
So, then, why this wish to deny that? Why this stupid sadness?
Without warning, Donghae suddenly threw himself at Hyukjae, pressing his body tight against the other’s, seemingly resting his head on Hyukjae’s shoulder. A moment later, Hyukjae realised the reason. It was a good way for Donghae to hide crystal streams that were dripping down his face.
“Sorry for the shirt...” Donghae managed to utter, with a hint of irony. Neither really cared about wetting a shirt in a moment like this.
“I’m pretty sure it’s yours anyways.” added Hyukjae, grateful that Donghae had finally got reasonable. He knew very well what the other was up to. By talking about trivial things, you can forget the ones that matter, a trick that often came in handy.
“So... bye.” said Hyukjae, this time surprisingly satisfied with the sound of his voice, which was perfectly casual, almost playful, as though they’d see each other again tomorrow, or at least the day after.
That’s no way to say goodbye! a voice in Hyukjae’s head scolded. But what, then, was the right way? Does it even exist? No matter how you say it, goodbyes are always so idiotically sad. Who could even blame Hyukjae for trying to avoid them?
“Yeah… bye.” answered Donghae, only mildly successfully banishing emotion from his voice. Unlike Hyukjae, Donghae wasn’t used to this game.
Suddenly, the morning entered through the window and the open balcony, in all its golden summer glory. Hyukjae’s hotel room was bathing in warm light, along with mountains of evidence of one true blast of a holiday. Every single object in that cheap hotel room was tied tightly to a laugh-filled memory. And each of those memories ended with that bright, childish smile, the sun reflected off the slightly uneven teeth.
Now, Hyukjae could no longer ignore the countless reminders of the past 15 days. The room was drowning in them. The dirty clothes flooding the floor, the multi-coloured cocktail umbrellas, wrappers on the nightstand, crumpled papers with funny drawings on the desk, empty ice cream boxes near the fridge… Somehow, Hyukjae both wanted to remember forever, and to completely forget.
The sun revealed everything, and Hyukjae could pretend no more.
“Um, Donghae…”
Donghae swirled around at the sudden outburst, eyeing Hyukjae curiously, only to receive silence.
But Hyukjae’s mind was way too busy to come up with anything suitable to say.
Hyukjae figured he could stash all the memory-filled junk into his pockets, but couldn’t keep the boy himself. So he stared at Dongahe’s face, determined to engrave every detail into memory. The silky brown hair that almost reached the boy’s shoulders. The warm brown eyes that spoke of innocence. The slight sunburn on his pale skin…
Only now had reality hit Hyukjae with all its merciless force. This was the day. The boy was already leaving, as unexpectedly as he had appeared. There will be no way to contact him. Donghae had even forced him to promise he wouldn’t go looking for him when their summer days end. At the time, Hyukjae accepted it without much thinking, since they still had 10 days more to go at the time. How quickly time flies when you don’t want it to…
He had nothing to lose now.
Suddenly, Donghae was jerked away from the awaiting door. A wall solidified behind him, the boy himself completely disoriented, aware only of a soft pair of lips crashing against his.
* * *
Author's Note: Tried to write while on seaside vacation... and while eating ice cream. Naturally, it failed. The ice cream was still delicious, though.
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