A/N: Watch out for cussing!

Chapter 4: The Demise of Their Past

The noise around him was deafening.

The building to his right was exuding the deep but muted, bass rhythm of a typical night club and the building to his left irregularly punctuated the already blaring atmosphere with the loud, annoying clangor of an arcade center

A tall brick wall loomed behind him, separating the empty alleyway from the smoky, heavy racket of the night traffic clogging up the main road.

And yet Luhan heard nothing but the sobs that wracked Sehun’s body as he choked them out onto his chest incessantly.

He could feel Sehun’s arms clamped around his torso so tightly that he couldn’t breathe.

The mop of shiny hair on top of Sehun’s head prickled against his stomach as the younger pressed his face into it and he could dimly feel the fabric of his black shirt getting soaked.

His senses were overwhelmed and he was barely aware of his arms becoming numb with pain from thoughtlessly hugging Sehun too close.

“Hyung, hyung. Is it really you??”

Luhan could barely make out the hiccupped words emanating from him.

There was a sudden searing on his cheek and Luhan realized that he was crying as well.

He in his breath sharply and shuddered as a sob wrenched from his mouth.

This was real.

This was real.

This wasn’t one of the sporadic dreams he had, where his life wasn’t destroyed and he would still be with his family and could still see and be with Sehun.

This wasn’t one of those moments that he unknowingly wished.

This wasn’t an illusion created by the confiscated drugs in his club.

“Yes”, Luhan finally managed to croak out, “Yes, it’s me. Oh God, Sehun.”

He was answered by another wail of both delight and ceasing despair; a moan so distorted that Luhan couldn’t have even imagined such a desperate sound existed.

He felt his knees buckle and finally let his legs give away under Sehun’s weight, crashing onto the rough ground with a short burst of relieved laughter which extended into a grin as he heard Sehun’s small “Woah!” at the sudden descent.

For a moment, neither of the spoke, still hugging each other and so lost in their reunited bliss that the ache from their awkwardly splayed legs were forgotten.

Sehun was the first to break away from their embrace. Luhan instinctively clenched the other’s jacket tighter as he made the movement but relaxed his grip when he saw the younger smiling at him.

The blood thundering in his ears had calmed down enough for him to properly focus on the other male’s face. At a first glance, nothing much had changed but now he could see the finer transitions.

The boyish roundness of his youth had given way to a chiseled, angular face. The once pouty mouth was drawn in a tired but ecstatic smile and a gritty maturity overtook the mellowed mischievous sparkle in his brown eyes.

It wasn’t the memory he knew but it was still uncharacteristically him and Luhan lowered his head, fighting the urge to weep.

Did he become like this because of me?

“Hyung, look at me.”

His voice was so unbearably gentle and Luhan had to force his head up to meet his friend’s fervent eyes. The smile widened into his familiar grin, the one he gave when seeing him every morning or when they would see each other in school.

Luhan could feel the lost warmth in his chest. This was feeling of home. This was the feeling of belonging somewhere.

“Hey”, he replied, finally. His voice was breathless but Luhan couldn’t give a damn.

Sehun’s grin broadened almost painfully and Luhan resisted the urge to pinch his cheeks.

Not a dream.

There was so much to tell each other, so much to find out about each other and so much Luhan couldn’t tell him.

But at least he could hear about him; what he had been up to these past ten years, what he’s studying now, what his folks are up to, what was he doing here...

Luhan’s blood ran cold.

What is he doing here?

 This was supposed to be a job.

His face must have betrayed his thoughts as Sehun’s smile slowly fell and his face diminished into an inscrutable expression.

“Sehun”, Luhan heard himself speak.

Was that hollow voice his?

Sehun dragged himself away and stood up slowly, his mouth a grim, straight line of anticipation.

Luhan eyed him apprehensively, pulling himself up. The handle of his blade dug tightly into his palm.

His mind was blank.

Bewilderment, exhilaration, exuberance and now, exhaustion. The tumultuous storm of feelings was over, leaving him in the moment of delirium.

Was he supposed to feel this calm?

He could hear every sharp intake of Sehun’s breath and see every flicker of his wary eyes.

The eyes of a prey about to flee the predator.

They were back to where they started, only this time he had to finish it. His hand trembled weakly just thinking of it.

“Hyung”, Sehun‘s voice was small, “I can explain-“

“Please do”, drawled Luhan, leaning back. He started twisting the blade in his hand.

“Could-could you put the knife awa-“

“I could put it in your gut.”

Sehun’s face was contrite, his hands clenching and unclenching the cold, night air. 

Luhan merely stared at him apathetically. The deliriousness was fading to a blind fury that twisted his stomach and it took all his strength not to hammer the younger male to ground, and clobber some sense into him.

What was he thinking entering this kind of world?

“Sehun”, his voice was like a whiplash and Sehun’s head shot up, “Explain.”

“I- I-“

“Oh, now you decide to stutter”, Luhan’s bark of laughter was humorless; “You had no problem saying anything while crying your eyes out like a ing .”

He took a vicious pleasure in seeing Sehun’s face flinch at the acerbity. Luhan crossed his arms and held the gleaming tip of his blade to the edge of his mouth.

“You aren’t leaving until you ‘explain’”, he murmured dangerously.

Sehun fidgeted a bit, looking at the ground as if it would start his explanation and then went still. His mouth moved, forming a weak sentence, and Luhan strained to hear him amidst the noise surrounding them.

“Speak up!” Luhan snapped, jerking forward in an angry stride, “You can do better than that!”

Sehun jolted at his demand but rapidly recovered his composure. Luhan watched him take a breath and-

“I came to find you.”

Luhan hoped that he misheard what the younger had said, just like how he hoped that he misheard the determination lacing those words.

Silence stretched between them; Luhan standing speechless and Sehun gazing expectantly.

“You what??” Luhan finally rasped out.

 The blankness was back. This was not what he expected.

Hell, he didn’t expect this whole situation.  Not the past catching up, not Sehun bursting into his life again, not this.

Sehun was now looking at him with an earnest expression, as if he expected Luhan to declare that he would leave this life behind and come back with him.

As if he could. As if he would.

Luhan took in a shaky breath. He was panicking. Slightly.

“You left so suddenly”, Sehun continued, his voice so low that Luhan nearly missed it, “We were going to help you through it all but you left so suddenly. You left without even telling me.”

It was a minor accusation and Luhan chose to ignore it.

“This has nothing to do with you”, he replied, rigidly.

“Nothing??” Sehun scowled at him, “You’re telling me that I – we – weren’t affected by your parents’ deaths??”

“Yes”, Luhan didn’t even blink at the mention of his parents.

“I was there!” Sehun nearly shouted back, face contorting in anguish, “I was there. And I can’t imagine what you went through-“

“You don’t say.”

“Let me help you, hyung”, he finished softly. He took a step forward and stopped in his tracks when Luhan flicked his knife in front of him.

“You can’t help me”, Luhan said, bitterly, “You’re out of your league here. You have no idea what you’re up against.”

“Yes, I do”, Sehun insisted forcefully.

Luhan eyed him guardedly.

“After you left the hospital, you were a street gangster”, Sehun started off before Luhan could voice any questions, “You were one of the tough ones, although I don’t know how you fought with that small frame.”

“That small frame helped me move faster”, scowled Luhan.

“Right”, Sehun fought off a wry smile, “You were pretty famous on the streets. But you had no name and that was the hard part.”

“The hard part?” Luhan couldn’t help himself.

“Yeah”, Sehun left a small sigh of frustration, “In tracking you down. You changed your hair color so often and changed your style so often that different guys talked about what seemed like different people but were all you.”

“And these guys-“ Luhan began, skeptically.

“Just your average motorcycle gangs and local bruisers”, Sehun interjected, breezily.

“Yeah, them.”

Sehun stiffened at Luhan’s sharp tone, “What about them?”

“How did you meet them?”

Sehun hesitated, not meeting the elder’s eyes.

“Sehun-“

“I was in one, ok!” Sehun burst out, “After you left, there was nothing! Not one trace of you was left! The police gave up searching for you, my parents gave up after a point, but not me.”

Luhan could see the hard glint in his eyes. The sharp angles of his cheekbones jutted out as his face hardened with displeasure.

“So, I got myself into a gang”, he continued, raggedly, “I nearly dropped out of school in my final year because of it. But that’s when I finally got news about you. The unnamed terror of the streets.”

Final year, huh.

Luhan quickly computed the math. That must have been three years ago. That’s when he-

“That’s the time I-“ Luhan started off, contemplatively.

“-You joined Shadow Blade”, Sehun finished, “Yeah, I know about that too”, he added, seeing the frozen look on Luhan’s face.

“How-how did you find out?” Luhan asked, tightly.

Sehun gave a wan smile, “That news I heard about you. It was about you joining some gang, about you leaving the streets. Once you enter a gang, you play by some rules and etiquette, according to my fellows. So, they were celebrating your more or less exit from the streets.”

His smile dissolved into that grim line again.

“I had just found you”, he continued dejectedly, “But it seemed like I lost you to some higher power. An unreachable place. A place I had to reach no matter what.”

“So how did you end up here?” Luhan heard himself inquire, “You dropped out of school??”

Sehun nearly chuckled at Luhan’s incredulous tone, “Quite the contrary, hyung. I studied hard, passed my entrance exams and got into a pretty good university. But I still had to find you.”

“Through drugs?”, Luhan’s voice was hard and Sehun stepped back as though he expected a blow.

“I still kept tabs on you. My friends would often give me info on you whenever they heard something. And word on the street was that you were the Shadow’s latest blade.”

“And how’d you know where or even how to find me??” Luhan demanded, furiously. This brat had done something so incredibly stupid with his life.

All for him.

“Well”, Sehun said, almost sheepishly, “I didn’t get into this business at first. I kept low, been a good student. But I did keep up with my fellows. And one of them who was in this business got mangled up. By you.”

“Scrawny fellow with dyed brown hair?” Luhan asked, casually. That had been the first time he had used his knife.

“The very same”, Sehun replied, tonelessly. If he felt any animosity over his friend’s attack, he didn’t show it, “He kept squealing on how he saw the terror again”, he added on, “And then, I realized that this was the only way to get to you. And so, I got into this business and the rest is history.”

He shrugged as a manner of indicating the end of his story, as if he didn’t just tell him that he got himself into the drug business just to find him.

This brat.

He was going to be the death of him.

“And you didn’t think of the consequences?” Luhan asked, lowly.

Sehun bristled, “I’m aware of the consequences. I just wanted to get you out of this and bring-“

“What if I don’t want to get out of this?” Luhan injected, hotly. He took a step forward and the knife gleamed in the dim light.

Sehun balked at the sight of it but stood his ground.

“This is dangerous, hyung”, he continued, raising his voice, “This life is dangerous. Get out of it. You can still make it. Come back to me,” he was pleading now, “I can take care of both of us.”

“THEY KILLED MY PARENTS AND YOU WANT ME TO SIT AROUND AND WAIT FOR THEM TO FINISH LIVING THEIR COMFY LIVES?!”

Luhan’s shout of rage silenced the younger man instantly.

“The Shadow killed off your parents?” Sehun quietly asked.

“No.”

“Then, who?”

“None of your damn business.”

“Hyung.”

“Get out of here”, Luhan commanded tautly, his head facing the other way.

“Not without you.”

“Then get out for your parents’ sake, for my sake!” Luhan lashed out.

Sehun paled at his words but the determination etched on his face did not waver. But his eyes were stricken, knowing that he fighting a losing battle.

It wrenched Luhan’s heart even more but he had to do this.

He would keep him safe from this world, even if it meant never seeing him again. He will not lose another precious person. Not this time.

He wasn’t supposed to have a weakness, not in Blade and especially not with his mission. Luhan’s resolve strengthened at the thought of it.

“Hyung”, Sehun’s low voice cut through his thoughts, “How far are you going to let this darkness consume you?”

Luhan frowned at the unanticipated question, “What are you talking about?”

Sehun took cautious step forward, eyes obstinate but tempered by despondency.

“All that has happened”, he started somberly, “The street fights, the gang wars, the killings that you’ve done.. They are not you.”

Luhan said nothing, not giving any indication of whether he wanted to hear the rest or not. Sehun continued daringly.

“You are so kind, hyung. A soccer freak. Someone who loves to hang out and drink bubble tea half the time. The hyung I know wouldn’t do this! The hyung I know-“

“Is dead”, Luhan concluded coldly.

Sehun froze; his face betraying his grief. Luhan forced himself to disregard it and the knife nearly slipped from his hands.

“Are you done now, Sehun?” Luhan was being ruthless and he knew it.

The younger male was expressionless now, the streetlights highlighting the emptiness of his eyes.

“Get out.”

Sehun didn’t move.

“Get out before I carve your face in like I did with your friend.”

“You wouldn’t-“

“Watch me.” Luhan snarled.

For a minute, Sehun looked like he was about to say something and Luhan vehemently prayed that he wouldn’t.

Any more words from him and he wouldn’t be able to take it anymore.

No more sweet lies, Sehunnie. We all have to grow up.

Then, Sehun bowed low and walked out of the alley without a word, the crunch of his shoes against the gravel eventually fading away along with his lean figure into the darkness.

Luhan stared at the graffiti covered brick wall of the deserted alley for a few moments before slowly tucking his knife inside his jacket.

He turned around and walked, tracing the same path Sehun took, out onto the main road.

Even at this late in the night, Luhan wondered while checking his watch, the traffic was not light. The horns still blared. The night clubs still pulsed with the rhythm of dance and the clanging arcade center was being shut down for the day.

He walked languidly, exhaling deeply, eyes merely fleeting upwards to check the traffic before crossing any roads.

He boarded the last train back to his place, relaxing on the nearly empty carriage.

There was a large crowd at the entrance to his place, all eager to enter the biggest night club in the city, to enjoy their night out, to drink, make merry and maybe get lucky.

Definitely not, Luhan thought cynically as he neared the building.

One of the bouncers outside saw him advancing and nearly shoved the front section of the crowd to the ground trying to make way for him.

“Now, now Jung Soo”, Luhan reprimanded him, smilingly, “Customers pay our bills.”

Jung Soo had the grace to blush before ushering him in and falling back to his role.

Luhan headed in, pushing past the intoxicated bodies crowding the area with drunken shrills and whoops before whirling onto the dance floor, and climbed the steps up to the VIP section.

His eyes casually skimmed over the area as he walked to his office, halting as he saw a familiar figure hunched over a table, the glass of whiskey untouched in front of him.

Even when he crouched low, there was no mistaking Kris’ broad shouldered, towering build.

Luhan silently approached the table and stood without announcing his presence.

“Well?” Kris’ gruff tone started without a preamble.

“It went fine” Luhan automatically replied.

Kris looked up at him sharply, eyes narrowed or at least it looked that way. The flashing lights were making it difficult to see.

“Having fun?” Luhan asked, habitually. He always asked this and Kris would always reply with a small grin and an order for more whiskey.

“Yeah”, Kris replied, staring blankly down at the dance floor. The whiskey still remained untouched.

“Well”, said Luhan, mechanically, “I’ll be in my office if you need me.”

He his heel and continued to his original destination. Along the way, he caught one of the serving waitresses by arm, ordered himself a bottle of whiskey and stalked away before she could process the information behind her widened eyes.

He entered his office and quietly shut the door, effectively cutting out the loud thump of music surrounding him, and made for the large recliner in the corner of the huge room.

He sat there silently, staring out the large glass window at the city, not noticing the whiskey that was brought to him.

Eventually, he reached out for the bottle, uncapped it and tilted it to his lips.

Good night, Sehunnie.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I KNOW.

I didn't update for 6 months!!

I'm so sorry!

But my life just turned a huge corner by getting a job and the corprorate world just didn't give me enough time to write!

That doesn't mean that I've abandoned this fic. On the contrary, the ideas for this constatntly plague my mind.

So please, do keep expecting more! our OT12 isn't finished yet!