Hi! It’s sweetpea73 again, doing another review! This time I’m reviewing “Strays” by darkpleasure. You can read the story here!

Let’s go~!

Story Title: 4/5

I like the title a lot, since it can lead to questions. Who is the stray? What are they leaving? What’s going to happen to them?

The definition of stray also makes a lot of sense for the story. I’m paraphrasing, but it’s essentially a domesticated animal/person (Minseok) going away from the “normal path” (marriage, university, jobs). Very well done!

However, the quote about straying didn’t come until the last couple of chapters, so I was kind of confused. But then again, the straying away happened even before the two officially ran away.

Foreword/Description: 9/10

- “But an incident brought him a weird stranger.” --> you could use synonyms because it although it makes it vague, it isn’t intriguing as the previous sentences. And the last sentence (as well as the first) are the most important because it leave an impression. Otherwise, very intriguing!

“His simple and quiet life had suddenly turned into one full of unexplainable happenings and weird situations; he didn’t even know when it would stop.” --> this could be a part of the forward since it’s vague enough, yet it intrigues the reader and is part of the story.

Plot: 9/10

Love and adventure is the theme throughout. There’s also a lot of inner dialogue about Minseok’s decisions of whether he wants to continue with his normal, mundane safe life, or go with adventure and live his life. Ironically, even though Luhan is an alien character, he is also a symbol of the risky lifestyle that Minseok could not enjoy because of his upbringing. Very intriguing.

Even though it is a supernatural/scifi-ish story, there is something very oddly realistic to it. Especially the ending, which is where the adventure book is closed, and ties are cut off. The ending was not expected when first starting the story, but it was very enjoyable.

Characterization: 9.5/10

Minseok’s character was amazing! Because he is the focal point of the story, he should be the best fleshed out character, and he definitely was. He was a character that experienced an ‘out of this world’ adventure, and slowly unravels with the chapters of the senses. With every sense, he forgets his old ways and succumbs to the more entertaining lifestyle.

Luhan’s character stays true to himself throughout the story. Although, the only thing I had issue with was the way that Luhan picked up on “human things”. For instance, the cooking or cleaning. I imagine because he is an alien that was on Earth for 3 years, he has observed humans, but it would’ve been good to explain his intelligence.

Grammatical Structures and Vocabulary: 16/20

The most common mistake I saw was the comma issues. There was a lack of commas where they needed to be, and this is a common occurrence. Commas are an issue throughout the writing fandom, whether someone uses too little or too much. Luckily, it’s a quick fix and something a beta or proof reading can fix.

I’ll give you a few ex