Namjoo's thoughts | Chen's thoughts

ONE-SHOT: END: CHENXNAMJOOXKYUNGSOO.

It's been months since Kyungsoo and I got together--exactly four months, actually. Four months is, and had been a long time, but still, no one knows about this relationship we have.

Kind of saddening, because I can't shout everywhere how lucky I am, how I'm so loved, how perfect he is, how perfect we are, how I'm so in love, how I'm so happy, because finally, I'm with the person I've been dreaming of ever since, with the person I've truly loved the most, with the person I only love..

I think it's fine to tell others now that we're together. I don't know why we haven't told anyone yet.. maybe because they'll get shocked? But whatever it is, I'm telling my closest friend, Jongdae.

Jongdae had been my closest guy friend ever since childhood, but we wouldn't consider each other as best friends. Apparently, we have our own best friends. His is Hyerim (which is now called Eunji for unknown reasons), meanwhile, I have Kyungsoo.

We exchange jokes, stories, and problems. He's the guy I would always run to whenever I'm sad, and he would always give me comfort. He's the best, actually. After all of the bad things I've done to him, he's always there for me. I feel bad for that, of course. But he assures me that it's fine, but still, I feel bad.

For what?

Who wouldn't feel bad after dumping someone? Yes, I've dumped him. It was like, I'm on senior year of high school, and him on second year of college. I feel bad, yes, though he didn't take that 'no' from me. But believe me, I liked him, but I couldn't bring myself to love him that much. I couldn't bring myself to be his girlfriend. Sure, we would be perfect, with how we know each other since I was brought to this world, with how our personalities match, with how we are so comfortable with each other.

But that wouldn't be perfect if I don't give the same amount of love he's giving, right? It'll turn out unfair, and I'll be the bad one. I couldn't love him while I'm waiting for Kyungsoo, (though it seemed impossible around that time because Kyungsoo's such a playboy, and me as a broken-hearted-girl-that-oppa-won't-notice) and it'll look like I'm using him. I didn't want that. So--the only easiest way was to be a little honest with him. I had to lie. I had to say I'm focusing on my studies, although I'm just waiting for Kyungsoo. I had to say that I'm scared he'll be like Tao--who waited for me and got tired as well.

Plus, I know it'll be too late if I tell Jongdae I like him, since I know he's not waiting for me anymore.

"Daedae~" I called him through the phone, about to tell him about the four months delayed news.

"Yes, Joojoo~" I giggled over the line at the nickname. "How are you?"

"I'm good! I have a new crush, and she's really cute. She's just like you.."  I felt my heart sank a little.

"You're obviously not waiting for me anymore.. Ah.. who's the girl?"

"Her name's Yookyung," he said. I could see him smile over the line. "She's really nice, I've liked her since last week. How about yourself? How are you?"

"Huh, you're unfair, not telling me that. And it's been a week..." I bit my lip. "I'm fine, and I've got someone, so we're even!" I told him. I would regret this later on.

"What, you're telling me you have a boyfriend? If that's Kyungsoo, I'm expecting it.."

"Yes, I got a boy. A handsome bo--"

"Who is it?" he sounded impatient.

"Guess who."

"If it's Kyungsoo then I don't even know anymore.. why are you making me guess? Maybe you just don't have one. Just tell who."

"What, I have one, alright! It's.. K-Kyungsoo. It's been four months.." I regretted slipping those words out of my mouth the moment I finished talking.

"Huh, you're unfair, not telling me that. And it's been months... I'm still waiting." he copied me and snorted.

Silence.

"You're so unfair.. Kim Namjoo.." I heard him sob. Please tell me this is a dream and wake me up.

"You're such a liar.. telling me you're focusing on your studies.. telling me I'll be like Tao.. when I'm still here waiting for you.." I didn't know how to respond anymore.

 "Jongdae--"

"I've been courting you for two or more years.. I've liked you since we were kids.. even gave you roses when I courted you.. "

"Jongdae.."

"What's with Kyungsoo, huh? I'm better than him, goddamn it."

He sounded mad. I got scared. I want to be honest with him. I want to speak everything out.

"Dae.. I answered him because I know you're not waiting anymore.. you got Bomi before.. and now.. Yookyung.." I'm speechless.

"It's always Kyungsoo.. can't it be us, Namjoo? Huh?"

My heart sank again. He was already crying, and I was, too.

"Jongdae, I'm sorry. I love you, too. But I'm with Kyungsoo.. I'm so sorry.."

Although I wanted it to be us, I don't want to hurt them both. I don't want to lose them both either.

"Just promise me.. it'll be us one day, Namjoo-ah.." and with that, I sobbed a 'yes' and hanged up.  

END.

Hello, did you guys like it. ;;; I published another fail fic of mine again, yaysies~ /o/ This was when I was bored when there's no internet around. ;; I'm sorry, I'll improve my writing soon ㅠㅠ Thanks for reading!!<3

Because he didn't appear that much in the fic (looool say hi to Joojoo's boyf):