Through an Umbrella _final

•  Final ​•

“​ Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise.”
– Victor Hugo, Les Misérables

☂​☂☂​

           A tensed silhouette could be spotted, sitting at a bench in front of a tree where no passerby would dare cross at the time of night. The only source of light is a weak street lamp at the other end of the block and the brightly shining moon. He sits still, only the way his shoulders drop betray the sense of despair he is currently feeling.

           "Kai-ah... I miss you." He mutters, his voice carried away into the night with no one around to hear. Or so he had thought.

           This man is oblivious to the fact that another being is just standing behind the tree. The tree that he is so passionately pouring his secrets out to.

           Every night for the past month this had been a routine for the man; to go and speak to the tree about his worries and deepest regrets. And every night, the other would stand or sit depending on the weather behind the tree and listen to what he has to say. Today the figure is sitting, leaning her head back against the tree with her eyes closed to again soak up his worries and wish for a way to be able to wash it away.

           Her head perks at the mention of his brother who she learned passed away just one month prior. Since she had found him speaking to the tree, he always picked up a 'conversation' with a mention about the weather. It's a foggy night, eh? The rain won't bother me. I wish it was a bit warmer.

           But this was the first time she had heard a different phrase from him to start. And it intrigued her and triggered her curiosity. Which is something that could either help her or severely harm her in life where she already had many experiences.

           "I'm so sorry that I did not attend your funeral. I should have also been the person planning it." The man says softly as if he had no strength left in his body. "I was scared. I didn't know how to feel when I heard the news and I figured it was my fault. That you had to suffer..." His voice broke, "That you had to go."

           The way he says this causes a sense of protectiveness in the girl to run through her veins. Though she doesn't know what role he played in his brother's death what she does know is that he is currently suffering, badly. She wants to reveal herself so much and tell him it's alright. Instead, she sat quietly waiting for his next words.

           They did not come. The man's body was violently shaking as he tried his best to be silent from the emotion of pure angst that threatened to unleash a bellow of all existent negative emotions of the world. His failure to keep the night peaceful was evident when whimpers escaped from his throat. Thinking that no one would be within 20 feet of he area, he allowed himself to cry for the first time.

           There was no sound more heartbreaking than his tears, in the girl's point of view. Even then, she is frozen in place still sitting at the root of the tree.

           The man continues to let out ragged breaths into cold night while mourning for the loss of his brother. All the pent up frustrations since one month ago was released in waves of tears.

           "One day I'll join you, Kai. In the afterlife. It may not be soon but we could cut that wait time short..." His voice shakily says between hiccups. The girl lets out a whisper of a gasp as she processes what he says. "I'll hang by this tree until they take me away. But by then I would have found you already. Let's depart together." He lets out a bitter laugh.

           She cups her hands over as tears spill over her eyes. Shaking her head as if he could see her, she prays silently that his words were not what she thought they had meant. She hears him stand and wipe his tears, cutting the meeting short by an hour.

           Afraid that he'll do something rash, she runs half the circumference  of the base of the tree to find him. Only to see that his broad back is to her, while his hands are busy with a length of rope. Her eyes widen and she struggles to find her voice.

           "Wh-what are you planning to do with that?" She says, mustering up all her courage.

           At the sound of a feminine voice, the man's head whips around and finds a pair of large eyes staring at him. Despite being someone who does not get surprised easily, this appearance completely caught him off guard. His hands stop tying the rope into a noose.

           They stare at each other for a while, taking in each other's appearances. Her hands grip the waistline of her dress so tightly that the man wonders whether it was her grip or the cold weather turning her knuckles white. His softly handsome features startles the girl as she imagined him a crazy bum who happened to stumble upon the tree one day and befriended it.

           "Who are you?" His voice finds a way into her ears. All of her courage was used to ask him the first words she had ever spoken to him and she stays still. Her mind is digging mines to find more courage to buff her with. It fails.

           "I asked who are you?" Rather than a hostile voice, it was a small and vulnerable sound that accompanied the emotions that clouded his eyes.

           "Tae...yeon." She replies in a voice even smaller than his, if it was possible.

           "What are you doing here?" He continued to question. Deep inside his heart, he wanted for her to say caring for you. But that was wishful thinking and foolish. He doesn't know her and she wouldn't know him. Why would she care?

           Silence ensues his inquiry until Taeyeon blurts out words that he had never heard in his life, "Don't hurt yourself."

           Though warmth creeps into his heart, hearing this said causes his brain to spiral into even more confusion. "Did you hear everything I said?"

           She nods meekly, "For the past... month. Since you started coming here."

           "Why are you here? This is my area." He says protectively.

           "Actually..." Taeyeon starts, "I've been coming here every night for peace and quiet for the past half-year. You've only started coming since one month ago."

           "Oh." He says. He drops the rope onto the bench and sits on it, resting his head into the palms of his hand. "So you heard my life story I guess?" Though his question seemed casual, Taeyeon could sense his guarded tone.

           She nods again.

           "Just... don't hurt yourself. Don't think that no one in the world would care if you disappeared." Taeyeon says, intentionally dodging the question.

           He looks up to her and smiles bitterly, "And who would?"

           Taeyeon debates whether or not to say the next words but she decides to push it out anyway, "I would... care."

           The revelation catches the man off guard, again. He was in for many surprises today and he had only just went over two of many. He stares at the short girl in front of him.

           "I would care if you disappeared." Taeyeon says again with more confidence. As the words leave , she realizes that they are true. She would miss him if he left. This man that looks as if the sky just came crashing down on his shoulders, this man that she does not know the name of, and the man that refers to her safe haven as his peace haven. She would miss him.

           He looks up at her with puffy eyes and cheeks covered with dry tears. And... smirks. Taeyeon turns confused at this change in behavior.

           "You would miss me?" Taeyeon nods. "How do you feel about me?" He stands up and slowly walks towards her, suddenly sedated and serious.

           "What do you mean? How do I feel?" Taeyeon asks as she slowly tenses her muscles, she knows the body language of a predator ready to pounce on a victim. She has experienced it many times before. "I worry..."

           His steps hesitated for just a split-second before resuming its menacing pace. "Now tell me, Taeyeon. Who sent you? My aunt? If it's her, tell her she can have the money. She can take the inheritance. I won't need it when I'm dead. Just allow me enough to be cremated and sent off with my brother peacefully."

           "What are you talking about? Your aunt..." A memory of his story vaguely makes its way into her mind. "The one who is trying to take your parents' inheritance from you?"

           His smirk turns into a growl. "So you do know. She's probably not just paying you. She's promised something else, didn't she? What do you want from me? My body? I will never sleep with trash like you. But I can give you this-"

           The man swoops his right arm behind Taeyeon's neck and pulls her into a rough kiss. Her breath was away from the impact of his and her lips. He moves his mouth and tries to enter hers.

           His actions are painfully similar to something that had happened to Taeyeon before and her heart beats wildly. Not from excitement or anticipation but from a panic attack that is crawling its way up her spine and burrowing into her brain. Chilling images flash before her eyes as she relives the moments when her maternal uncle forced himself upon her. And violently reacting if she opposed him in any way whether it be words or attempts at escape.

           Clenched palms make their way to hit the man's chest. Pushing and beating him away from her. Being firmly latched to Taeyeon, he manages to invade . Tears stream down the sides of her cheek and this time it is from fear rather than empathy. She continues to beat at his chest though her strength falters as her brain shuts down from the reminder of past acts against her.

           He releases her, and his smirk falters as she sinks to the ground silently crying. He notices her arms clutching her chest while she gasps for air. A feeling of regret and disgust at himself slice at his heart.

           This girl who was the first person in his life other than his brother to tell him that they care about him, he had taken advantage of on the first meeting.

           "I-I'm... sorry. Taeyeon... I'm so sorry." He slowly backs away from the squatting girl. Kris, you coward. Are you just going to run away again? He thinks to himself. Against all the protests of his conscience, he turns his back and runs.

❖

           This night was a rainy one, which was usually uncommon. Taeyeon left her house with an umbrella just in case Kris forgets his. What happened last night shocked her to the point of speechlessness. The words that came out of her uncle's vile mouth reminds her. Your words will only hurt you. He would say as he forced her to stop screaming for help. She promised herself to never get involved with Kris's life again.

           Taeyeon would just go to the tree every night again to make sure Kris is safe and will not do foolish acts, she had convinced herself.

           She takes her place behind the tree and this time lets herself be rained on since the umbrella would betray her position behind the small trunk of the tree. At the precise time that Kris usually shows up, he does. But this time he sits facing away from the tree rather than towards it.

           "Taeyeon..." Kris wildly takes a shot at calling out for her. "If you're here, most unlikely, I'm sorry for yesterday. I'm sorry I left you like that too."

           Taeyeon stood there listening to his voice. It dances around the raindrops and enters her ears easily. She took a deep breath and continued to listen.

          "I guess you could say I was scared, a coward." He continues. "I hope you forgive me though, so I won't have to live being hated by one more person. You're actually the first one next to my brother to tell me that you care about me. I will care for you if you allow me to."

           Kris sits in silence for a few more minutes. Taking in the fact that he may have gone mad, talking to the night air. He argues in his mind about ways to beg for forgiveness from Taeyeon.

           He hears a rustle behind him and slowly walks towards the sound, silently hoping that it was Taeyeon whether she was going to forgive him or not. Instead, he finds a lone teal and plastic umbrella leaning at the base of the tree. He picks it up and reads the ownership tag. Property of: Kim Taeyeon. If found, please keep :)

           Kris chuckles at the childishness of the tag. He then takes out a sharpie pen that he and his brother, Kai, used to play pranks on their friends before Kai died and proceeds to write a message on the inside of one of the curved wedges. Admiring his creative handiness, he sticks the sharpie back into his pocket and walks towards home, mood uplifted.

❖​

           Taeyeon goes to the tree earlier than usual, it was lunch time and she wanted to relax by her favorite place. From afar, she saw a peculiar looking figure at the base of the tree. Please don't let it be Kris. I can't handle him right now. As she came closer, it took shape of the umbrella that she left at the tree yesterday. Thinking that Kris didn't find the umbrella and left it there.

           She picks up the umbrella,  and looks at the strange marks that she sees on the plastic cover. Realizing that it is writing, she throws the umbrella above her head and reads.

I won't take this from you.
But I hope you forgive me.
-K

           The only K she would know that is asking for forgiveness is Kris. A small smile curves the corners of as she rereads the message. She also had a sharpie in her pocket from her day job as a waitress at a small café. Separating the cap from the tip, she quickly writes a message back. She decides to leave it on the bench for him to find and walks gleeful steps back to her work.

I'll forgive you. But promise me to not hurt yourself.
-Taeyeon

           This process continued for another month, they never met face to face after the incident. Kris didn't even bother to ask Taeyeon to meet him, knowing that she cares was enough for him to feel warm. And soon the plastic cover served its unintentional purpose of carrying and delivering messages to the one person or the other. The messages ranged from friendly conversations to Taeyeon's life stories to subtle hints of flirting from Kris. Taeyeon's messages were more guarded but somehow still wiggled its way into Kris's heart.

           The last few days, Taeyeon had not replied to Kris's confession to her on the umbrella. She was bewildered when it happened, being as dense as she is. Kris slowly feels more insecure and afraid of reading her reply when she does write one. He decides to write one last message on the only open area on the umbrella - the handle - and meet her tomorrow. Face-to-face for the first time in a month.

           The next afternoon, Taeyeon came by the tree to pick up the umbrella note that she would receive from Kris. She hoped that she would be able to find the courage to write back this time. She noticed it wasn't in its usual position, behind the tree, so she searched above and below the bench to yet again be disappointed. Is he mad that I didn't write back? Taeyeon was afraid that he stopped his messages due to her lack of response. No, he isn't that petty. She decided to put her trust in him. She sat down on the bench and exhaled slowly, taking in the scenery in front of her. She'd never get tired of the streetlight that started flickering a few nights ago.

           She reflects on herself as if she were that light bulb, struggling to stay alive and be of use to someone even if standing by silently. If it dies in the next few seconds, I no longer have a hope in my life. She thinks as she plays around with fate. It sputters a few more and finally zaps out of life, giving up the fight. Disappointed, she starts to stand up.

           A figure sneaked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her neck with one hand holding the umbrella that both persons know oh so well. His arms hover over her shoulders before cautiously resting them down.

           "Kris...?" Taeyeon guesses slowly. The graffiti covered umbrella is visible in his hands.

           "Taeyeon." Kris states. "You worried me. You didn't write anything for the past few days. Ever since..." Taeyeon instantly felt a cold rush of air hit her back as his shielding embrace leaves her body.

           Taeyeon understood what Kris meant to say even if he didn't finish his sentence. Ever since I wrote to you that I might love you. He handed her the umbrella and she took over where he had held, the handle. Their hands brushed momentarily and Taeyeon became flustered while Kris remained composed.

           She plays with the handle of the umbrella silently. Kris expects her to notice the question that he had written and waits for an answer while staring at her intently.

           "I can't..." She mumbles to herself. I can't stop myself from falling in love with you, Kris. I'm in too deep to turn the other way and... I'm afraid.

           ​Kris catches the two words she speaks and shifts his feet to walk away, heartbroken. So she can't? Does she not? What about the past month of her life stories and fears and everything she told me? Kris's question had directly corresponded with his thought of wanting to propose to her and officially become her lover. If she had told him yes, he would have had enough courage to do so, after all she already knew his feelings. But she had said destructive words, I can't.

           Taeyeon turns the handle over and finds words written in sharpie that she had overlooked before. 4 simple words with a hook to signify a question.

Do you trust me?

           Do I trust you, Kris? I do. I do. She made up her mind. Ready to answer his question, she looks over to the spot where he had stood earlier only to find him gone. "Kris?" She called out. She spots a figure walking away from her and runs towards it.

           The impact from something behind him knocks Kris forward a few steps. He had been too busy pitying his worthlessness to notice that a girl was barreling straight towards him. Taeyeon wraps her arms around his waist and clasps her hands together on his stomach, locking him in her embrace.

           "I trust you, Kris. Don't leave me like everyone else." She says, her voice wavering from fear that he would turn around and tell her that he was joking around with her heart.

           "You said you couldn't. Don't take your words back because I look pitiful, Taeyeon. It's okay that you don't like me back, just stop confusing me." He pulled himself away from her warmth reluctantly and turned to face her.

           "What are you talking about? When did I say I couldn't?" Taeyeon asked confusedly.

           "Just a moment ago." He tells her.

           She thinks about her past actions for a quick moment.

           "You heard that..? I meant..." She wasn't too sure about revealing what she had actually meant.

           "What did you mean, Taeyeon?" Kris says staring straight into her eyes. A stray strand of hair flutters from her hair band and sticks to her cheek near . He tries not to stare at her soft lips.

           "I meant that I can't stop myself..."

           "Can't stop yourself from..?"

           She takes a deep breath. "I can't stop myself from loving you. I love you, Kris. I was insecure and afraid that you were just playing with my heart. And when you asked the question on the handle I came to realize that I did trust you. I trust you with my life and heart and everything in between. I will continue loving you until the sun in the sky stops shining. Even if you don't actually love me like you said you did, I want you to know that I lo-"

           Her speech was cut short by his lips on hers. Taeyeon had confessed her love for him and Kris had sealed it with a kiss. They released each other and he looked at her lovingly.

           "I really do love you, Taeyeon."

           "I trust that and you, Kris."

           He pulls her into a hug and she grips the sides of his jacket. Behind them the street lamp flickers back on, brighter than ever. Taeyeon and Kris had finally found their hope.

☂​☂☂​

“Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.”
– Robert A. Heinlein, Stranger in a Strange Land