“Guise, Park Dobi is here~”

Practically the entire table lounged at the back of the classroom groaned for what seemed to be umpteenth time during just this period. Kyungsoo and Kai; practically ing each other with their eyes as Lu Han shot overly-greasy stares directed towards a delusional Baekhyun watching a boy with overly big ears being a social butterfly as he flapped his wings away.

 

Yes; Chanyeol, Baekhyun, Lu Han and the two proud faggots attended school as a so called 'break' from their extraordinarily busy schedule as EXO. To the majority of dying students who craved and would slaughter to be in the position of EXO, going to school is and if not, the only option. It was either go to school or roam around the city in their spare time with the potential ear from those psychopathic sasaengs with their sonic-booming screams. Not to mention the psychical harassment of being pushed around and touched in all places all day. All places. Kyungsoo still has his occasionally therapy sessions from what he calls his ‘Dark Ages.’

 

A light smile caressed itself upon Baekhyun's thin lips as he saw the taller boy entering, greeting his fellow classmates with an overly excited smile as he made his way to his own seat. To the eyes of Baekhyun alone, Chanyeol was everything that he could look for in any person. He had long passed the stage of denying his undying affection for the older boy. Who wouldn’t?

 

 

They both started as strangers, becoming acquaintances from being trainees. But as time flew by and they became best friends, Baekhyun was scared to ask for more. But after a few weekly marathons of Disney Films and the movie Frozen, you’ll be surprised from the amount of useful you could learn from children’s movie.

 

 

"If only he knew how much I long to be with him, in his arms… Sure I may joke around him, insult him and practically act star-struck behind closed doors like some typical high-school girl, but truthfully, he means a lot to me, and I am grateful for having to at least know him."

 

"…, you thirsty or something? I can literally smell the bull radiating from your mouth. Lesbihonest, you soooo want his D." And cue Lu Han to ruin the sweet, romantic mood.

 

Baekhyun carelessly slapped Lu Han's head, ignoring the melodramatic tantrum he received from the other boy for messing up his perfectly angled hair. Today wasn't a day where he wanted to take anyone's . He may act thirsty, it was a fun thing to do, but he knew everything was platonic.

 

 

“YOU RATCHET- BETCH, I ANGLED MY HAIR PERFECTLY TODAY WITH THE CORRECT CIRCUMFERENCE FOR MY HAIR CURLS, YOU UKE .”

 

 

“ my , Lu Han.” Calm Baekhyun was calm.

 

 

“Pfft of course you would want me too.”

 

 

“Don’t. Turn. This. Around.” Calm Baekhyun wasn’t very calm anymore.

 

 

“Well at least we agree on one similar thing, you really want him for everything, INCLUDING his body.” Kyungsoo, being the ‘mother’ of the group put it simply. Litte did they know that Kyungsoo was rather the sane one in the group rather than the mother.

 

 

Baekhyun diverted his attention back to the taller boy who had his head on his folded arms, pouting ever so cutely whilst waiting for their teacher to the point where Baekhyun could practically drop-kick his face and kiss it endlessly afterwards. Only us Exotics would understand Baekhyun and his inner turmoil at this moment. There was no hiding the happy sigh that came out.

 

 

“Well, I guess having Chanyeol’s body would just be one of the many perks of having Chanyeol himself.”

 

 

Baekhyun may or not have taken ‘glints’ at Chanyeol’s big willy once and a while during their shower sessions and maaaaaaay or may not be the source of his wet dreams and ual fantasies. You can’t blame him. You always can’t blame him. He’s a cute .

 

 

“*sigh* why does Chanyeol have to be so straight.”

 

 

The trio threw looks at each other before Lu Han, obviously having to be the biggest in the world, busted out in a laughing fit. Now Baekhyun is questioning why he hasn’t ran Lu Han over yet..with a steamroller.

 

 

'A deer in the headlights…hahaha oh Lu Han, I am going to make that a pun very soon but you won’t live to know.'

 

 

“AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAA no.”

 

 

Baekhyun frowned at his so-called friend.

“I’m serious guys, his goes up for the hoes, not for the bros. He’s straight.”

 

 

Kai, having experience with what was simply put as ‘dealing with Byun Baekhyun’s ’, simply tried to justify things.

 

 

“Well how straight is straight, Byun Baek? If you consider a slight line we will refer to as Park Dobi beaten to a pulp with a sledge hammer to the extent where its ‘straightness’ is non-existent, then yeah, that’s how straight he is.”

 

 

Baekhyun tried to keep his calm demeanour, despite the fact that his left eye was twitching uncontrollably.

‘Ahahaha..I’m going to have a Deer Skin and Chimpanzee Skin to be able to mend into animal pajamas to add to my collection by the end of the day.’

 

 

“Putangina, get Kyung to you off in the toilets…again. And yes, I heard. You could practically feel the emitting from the boy’s toilet which might I add, have been rumoured to be infected with diseases sooooooo may the STIs by in your favour. You should check that rash out, could be herpes.”

 

 

Kyungsoo, completely caught off guard as he was suddenly dragged into the conversation, hid behind Kai, praying to god that no one else knew about their promiscuous kinks in the toilets.

 

 

“DO NOT DRAG MY KYUNG INTO THIS. IRRELANCE ASIDE, considering your crush- wait no, this has gone too far out of hand to be considered just a little ‘crush’. Your ‘catastrophe’ over is anything BUT straight. Don’t believe me?”

 

 

“pfft you’re preposterous-“

“Exhibit A.” Kyungsoo was kind enough to showcase an example. Yeah, karma’s a .

 

 

In the front corner of the room was an overly-excited Chanyeol occupying his time by playing patty cake with the special aids kids. Judging from the corner of the room, you would really question who REALLY was the special aids kid. Chanyeol was overly amused with the game as he giggled every time he made a mistake in the sequence. Giggled. With his baritone voice.

 

 

 “…Touché, my fellow companion.”

“Nicely put your royalty.” It’s official, EXO are dorky gays.

 

 

And all of a sudden, Baekhyun had one of his many spasms. You see, Baekhyun lacks what basic traits human beings have in the case that he considers the consequences of his words AFTER saying them. Or more so like yelling them out to the world to hear.

 

 

“FOR SAKES, WHY DOES EVERY SINGLE CUTE GUY I MUST LOVE HAVE TO EITHER BE: STRAIGHT, DOES NOT KNOW I EXIST, LIVE 27138921KM AWAY FROM ME, HAS TO BE A COMPLETE ASSHAT, ING DOESN’T EXIST AT ALL COS THEYRE ALL PERFECT IN SHOUJI MANGAS OR ALL OF THE ABOVE MASHED IN ONE. UGGGGGH.”

 

 

At the end of the day, whatever Baekhyun thinks should remain that way.

The whole class turned to Baekhyun, including a Chanyeol who was very taken back from the random outbreak, One may think you would be used to these random outrages if you were to room with the source of the problem for some time. Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaah, no.

 

 

“Hahahaha…Bbuing..bbuing?”

Lucky thing Baekhyun is a cute- otherwise he would have his head beat in by everyone.

 

 

All Kai did was facepalmed as always.

“Don’t do that Kkamjong, your face is already messed up as it is.”

The couple looked at each other, nodding to each other before saying in sync,

“We’re 375% done with your , Byun Baekhyun.”

 

 

--

 

a/n: HEEEEEY ITS TIA ^^...so i guess here is a taste of the crap that you'll read? I'm sorry its crap guise, my humour is dry and I've lost my touch on crack fics, its been a while since i read one OTL FUUU- trying so hard to be funny its sad OTL well im guess im trying to be my weird self? thanks for the tip though Zamy bae <3 BUT YEAH HOPEFULLY YOU ENJOYED IT AND I'LL BE UPLOADING ANOTHER CHAPTER FOR YOU GUYS TO CELEBRATE SEHUNS BDAY~ YAAAY!!

anyways, getting off topic, this chapter is mainly to warm you guys up for what is to come, the action and stuff will come very soon, I promise ;) but thank you for subiing, upvoting and everything! I really hope you enjoyed the first chapter and hopefully you are looking forward to more ^^ bye~ /p.s sorry for so much swearing in this fic, i genuinely cuss a lot when I type, i dont understand why OTL/

-Tia~^^

Twitter --> @SeYeonOTP