The Art of Letting Go
Word Count: 1,304

“Hey Baby Smurf, what’s up?” Chanyeol greeted, approaching the small brunette whose nose and ears are red due to the cold weather.

“Don’t ‘Hey what’s up’ me! Why are you late? Do you want me to die from freezing!?” Baekhyun shouted as he tried to punch the giant’s chest.

“Aww, my best friend’s being all cute! Anyway, sorry I am late, I got a call from Kyungie, and he asked me to help him pack for his trip to London!” Chanyeol reasoned out as he pinched his best friend’s cheek.

“You could have called me!” Baekhyun said, swatting away the hand of his friend.

Chanyeol let out a chortle that gained a glare from the latter. He coughed, “I guess someone’s jelly,” he teased.

“Who’s jealous!?” The small guy asked with an eyebrow arched and both arms in front of his chest.

“I don’t know,” Chanyeol laughed. “Maybe someone with a height of 174 centimetres, has brown hair, has a very beautiful voice, and has a very feminine featu-“

Baekhyun elbowed the other guy’s stomach. “I am not jealous! I just envy you for having a boyfriend okay?”

“Then why don’t you pick a guy from your 100 or more admirers, Baek. They are just waiting for you to say yes.” Chanyeol suggested as he held his stomach.

Baekhyun tried his best to not let his smile falter, when inside, he felt something cracked.

*****

He had been friends with Chanyeol for eight years now, and since day one, he had to face a painful battle everyday—to not fall in love with his best friend. But he failed, he failed not to fall, he failed protecting himself from loving him.

He never was expecting to fall, or maybe he was, he was just not ready to accept it nor to admit it. But now—he knew, he knew he fell for the guy who has a very deep voice, the guy who has a very cute and/or handsome face, that tall guy-- he knew he fell for his best friend.

“Baekhyun? Hello?” Luhan, his other best friend, snapped his fingers in front of the smaller guy’s face.

“Oh… yes, why?” Baekhyun suddenly snapped out of his trance, rubbing the back of his head.

“You have been spacing out lately. Is something bothering you?” Luhan worriedly asked as he placed down the notebook he’s been holding.

“Nothing,” Baekhyun said, looking everywhere but Luhan’s eyes. “Let’s just get back to studying.”

“It’s Chanyeol again, isn’t it?”

“No, it’s not hi-“

“It is okay, Baek, you could tell me. What happened? Do you want to talk about it?”

Baekhyun started to tear up.

“It’s okay dear, so what happened?” Luhan asked, hugging the vulnerable-looking guy.

“It is just that, I love him so much! And it hurts so much!” Baekhyun stammered at almost every word.

“Then why don’t you tell him, dear?”

“Everything will just be messed up! Maybe, he’ll just laugh at me or he’ll just be disgusted by me!” Baekhyun let out a sad laugh, “He will never love me even if I’ll tell him.”

“How would you know if you would never try?” Luhan asked as he got his handkerchief and hand it to the latter.

“If I confess, it will never do anything, because he loves someone else,” Baekhyun wiped his tears using the handkerchief. “And it’s funny that I am still hoping he’ll love me back!”

Luhan always have had a heart for the younger guy, he was the younger brother he never had.

“Then why don’t you just let him go, sweetheart? It will ease your pain.” Luhan suggested.

“How can that ease my suffering? I love him so much that I can’t let him go!”

“If you love someone, let them go. And if they came back, then treasure them, forever.”

Baekhyun nodded.

Then, on the same day, he made his decision.

*****

“Hey Baek!” Chanyeol greeted with a big smile plastered on his face.

Baekhyun just stared at him, emotionlessly, and never said a thing.

“You know what just happened today? I asked Kyungie out for a date tomorrow night, and she said yes! Omo, I am so excited, Baek! I will start picking out my clothes for tomorrow night! Do you want to help me prepare or…” Chanyeol trailed off when he noticed that the other guy wasn’t even acknowledging his presence.

“Hey Baek, is something wrong, do you-“

“Nothing’s wrong…” Baekhyun mumbled as he started to put his things inside of his bag pack then went ahead.

Chanyeol followed him.

“Baekhyun! Is there something wrong? Did someone hurt you?” Chanyeol stopped Baekhyun from walking by holding onto the smaller guy’s shoulder.

The smaller guy turned around to face the giant.

“Yes, someone hurt me.” Baekhyun said, without any emotion shown on his face.

“Who? Could you tell me who?” Chanyeol worriedly asked.

“You.” Baekhyun simply said, and walked away.

Chanyeol was too surprised to follow the other guy.

*****

After getting home, Baekhyun decided to take a small nap, to rest, to forget everything even just for a while.

When he woke up, it was past seven o’ clock. He noticed that he was still wearing his school uniform so he head to his armoire and changed into new comfortable clothes.

He decided to go for a stroll.

When he pass by the big tree where Chanyeol and him used to carve on, he sat beside it. He tried to remember everything—from the time they met until now that he is letting go. He decided that, in order to let Chanyeol go, he need to have a closure, he needs to let his feelings for Chanyeol to go too.

So, he got a sharp-edged rock, and began to work on his message.

*****

The next day, Baekhyun was back to his all-smile self.

“Hey, Yeol,” Baekhyun greeted the taller guy. “Sorry for what happened yesterday.”

“It’s okay. But is it true? That I am the one why you’re acting like that?” Chanyeol asked, nervous for the response.

“Yes.” Baekhyun said, as if nothing’s wrong with that.

“Why? I am sorry if I did something wrong, but, could you please let me know why?”

“It is nothing, now. So you don’t need to worry about that.” Baekhyun said as he pat the back of his friend.

Chanyeol was once again, confused. But he just let him be.

*****

After three months, everything is settled, Baekhyun and Chanyeol are friends again, Kyungsoo came back, Luhan found himself a boyfriend, Baekhyun has no feelings for Chanyeol and he got himself a new boyfriend—Kris—too.

And Chanyeol wished he wasn’t affected.

*****

A week after Kyungsoo came back, he got invited on a date by Chanyeol.

They were on their way to the restaurant when suddenly, their car stopped for no reason, when they checked the engine, it was overheating.

Kyungsoo called for a tow truck. After that, he noticed Chanyeol was missing, he looked around and found Chanyeol sitting near a tree.

He went to where Chanyeol was, and noticed that Chanyeol was crying while reading a message carved on the trunk of the tree.

I love you but only when the night is over,
I love you but I won’t let you know,
I love you but I can’t tell it,
I love you but you are too blind to see,
I love you but you are too deaf to hear my heart cry out for you,
I love you but I am afraid to speak,
I love you but I have to let go,
I love you, goodbye,
I love you Chanyeol, but only on my own.

Let’s remain friends, forever.

Sincerely yours,

Byun Baekhyun
(Feb. 27)

That’s almost four months ago.

Chanyeol wished he knew, for he feels the same way too.