Secret
Suicidal
March 15, 2014
The boy ran back home from school as usual, tears in his eyes, looking exhausted and warn out. Before running to his room upstairs, he spots a note sticked to the fridge, saying:
“Drear Tao,
I’m extremely sorry for what happened yesterday.
I shouldn’t have said that, forgive me, please.
I won’t be home for a few days or longer, so I left money on your table for you to buy something to eat or invite friends over for a party while I’m working at the hospital.
Take care
Love,
Mum.”
“Psh, I wish I’d have friends.” Tao sighed deeply and threw the note into the trash before walking up to his room, immediately falling under his bed sheets. He stayed like that for a while until he fell asleep
March 15, 2014
“Good morning class. Today I have good news for you.”
“Great. Is it a new test again..?” Tao thought to himself.
“We have a transfer student today. Be nice to your new classmate! “ All eyes were on the new boy in class, who came through the door, into the room. He stood near the teacher and spoke with a deep, but soft voice.
“Hello, my name is Chanyeol. Nice to meet you.” The boy bowed in front of the class while Tao studied him for a while.
“Hmm, he’ rather tall. Has big eyes, short hair. Looks like a nice and handsome guy. Too bad I won’t be able to be friends with him, since no one likes me anyway”
“Chanyeol, there’s an empty seat over there, near Tao. Go sit there please” Chanyeol nodded to the teacher as Tao felt a little bit frightened by the new guy. Not that he’s scary looking. Tao always feels rejected by the others, and doesn’t want it to happen again.
“Hi, you don’t mind if I sit here, right?” Chanyeol laughed softly as Tao slowly shook his head.
“He’s so… Happy…”
“Thanks” He sat happily beside Tao while he, himself kept his head down.
Tao closed his locker and left the school in relief, that classes are over.
“Hey!” Hearing the deep voice once again, Tao knew it’s the new boy in school, so he turned his head slowly to see what’s going on.
“I see you’re going in that direction right?” Chanyeol pointed forward and Tao nods shyly.
“Great! Don’t mind if we go together?”
“S-sure” Tao forces a smile, keeping his eyes down.
They started walking in silence. Chanyeol kept thinking of what to say before Tao spoke himself.
“So.. What do you think of your new school?” He asked shakily.
“It’s good so far. Nice people.” He answered grinning widely at Tao.
“Nice people…”
“Oh, my home is this way~” Chanyeol suddenly stopped walking.
“Well, mine’s there” the other boy pointed at the opposite direction.
“I guess it’s a goodbye then. See you on Monday!” the tall guy happily waved at Tao and left, but as for him, he continued walking home almost lifeless as usual.
“Wish that I’d be as happy as him”
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March 15th, 2014
For most people, today’s no school. For Tao- no living hell.
He woke up before rubbing his eyes and immediately grabbing a laptop, which was on the table near him, just to check what’s new. After an hour or so, Tao got interested in one paticular site.
“Well, I have nothing to do with my life, so why not” Letting out a soft sigh, he clicks on the link.
“what should my username be?... Tao? Hmm, too lame.. ”
"Could've been better, but it's ok"
------------
You've logged in as Zitao.
Start talking with strangers!
Llama256: Yo, Anybody here?
Dorito999: Yup!
FanWu: Always here.
Llama256: Great! Hi ya'll again
FanWu: Aye
Zitao: Hi...?
Dorito999: Yo
Llama256: Ohh, a new person! Hi person!!
FanWu: Hi there. What's your name? Or is it Zitao?
Zitao: Just call me Tao..
Dorito999: Hi Tao! The name is Taemin
FanWu: You can call me Kris. Or Kevin. However you like
Llama256: And my name's Amber. The admin of this chat. We three are chilling here the most everyday. Please don't be shy talking to us! We are friendly and happy to welcome new people! ^^
Zitao: Thank you :)
FanWu WANTS TO CHAT WITH YOU PRIVATELY.
Accept Decline
"What should I do?.."
"Do I accept? What if he will call me and leave laughing. "
"But I'll.. do it.."
You've just started a convrsation with FanWu
FanWu: Hi again)
Zitao: Hey
FanWu: I just wanted to know you better, like a friend, you know? Hope you don't mind.
"Friend?" Tao thought to himself
Zitao: No. not at all ^^
FanWu: Great ^^ So tell me about yourself. Where do you live, how are you?
Zitao: Well... I was born in China, but at the moment, I live in Hongdae, Korea. And Im great. Ahhh so boring. What about you?
FanWu: You're not boring! :) Ohh I live in China now! Was born in here too. Why did you leave China and when?
Zitao: ... Um.. Well, personal problems.. I left in 6th grade.
FanWu: Mm? What problems? Could you tell me? But you don't have to though.
Zitao: Maybe some other day.^^||
FanWu: That's totally ok :) How old are you though? How is it in Korea?
Zitao: I'm currently 17 years old. And pretty much the same. The people are the same..
FanWu: I see! As for me, I'm 20. Oh?What do you mean?
Zitao: Nevermind.
FanWu: Okay. I see that you're not really open yet, but it's ok. Remember, I'm always here to help if something happens!
Zitao: Sure c:
FanWu: Brb, gotta go to the supermarket, mom said so lol.
Zitao: Sure, I'll wait.
FanWu left the chat.
But Kris never came back that evening, Tao closed his laptop, thinking that he left because it was akwawrd for the both of them.
"He probably thinks I'm a loser..."
March 16th, 2014
Tao left the school again in a rush, hoping that Kris will be online this time.
Entering the house and trowing his backpack away, Tao ran upstairs to his room and immediately grabbing his laptop.
You've connected as Zitao.
You asked FanWu to private chat.
FanWu accepted your request.
FanWu: Oh hi!! :)
Zitao: Um, hey.
FanWu: Something happened?
Zitao: Nothing. It's just that.. Umm I just don't want you to think that I'm a loser
Tao hit his face against the table
"Why did I say that?"
FanWu: What? Why would I?
Zitao: Well, you didn't came back yesterday..
FanWu: Oh, sorry! My internet went off, please don't misunderstand! I would never ignore you, Tao.
Zitao: No, don't apologize, I undestand.
FanWu: Just remember, I won't ever ignore you. You're too awesome to be ignored. ^^
Zitao: Oh, well, thanks :)
FanWu: well, I was wondering today if I could see you.. Like a selca maybe? ^^ I just want to know you better~
Zitao: Ummm, but I'm ugly..
FanWu: Don't ever say that! I'm 100% sure you're not. Look, let's make a deal. I send you a selca first, then you'll do the same.
Zitao: Okay.
FanWu sent you a picture:
FanWu: Hehe, there you go ^^
"Holy-" When Kris sent Tao the picture, he suddenly froze.
"God.. He's beautiful..."
Zitao: Ohhh you look amazing! haha
FanWu: You really think so? :D Thank you ! Now your turn~
Zitao: Well... Ok, fair enough..
You sent a picture to FanWu
FanWu: You're so cute and adorable! Omg never expected you to be this handsome~
Tao shivered at Kris' words. It made him feel good about himself for once. It made him feel happy
Zitao: You don't know how much your words mean to me. Thank you :)
FanWu: Don't tell me that no one says that to you haha.
Zitao: ...
Zitao: Well... they don't
FanWu: What? Why? I was sure that everyone are falling for you in school.
Zitao: It's not like that.. Kris, if I tell you somehing... Will you not tell anybody? and not think that I'm a freak?..
FanWu: Of course not! Is it something bad? :/
Zitao: I trust you.. To start of, I came to Korea, because all of the kids in school bullied me. I wasn't excepted whatsoever. It didn't bother me that much back then. I thought here, in Korea, people won't bully me at all,since no one knew me. But I was very wrong. Till this day I'm heavily bullied. A few days ago, my mum called me useless, hopeless and a . Before, she was my only hope.. She was the one who cared about me. The one who talked to me everyday. I even.. I even cut. It makes me feel better. Sometimes I just want to die and not exist in this planet. No, I want that every second. But not when I talk to you.. Everyday, I feel hopeless, not confident about myself at all... If you hate me because of this and think that I'm a loser now, It's understandable. I'm used to it.
FanWu: Wow.. Tao.. I ... I don't think that you are a loser and I never will. On the contrary, you sound amazing and I don't know why people bully you. And please, don't cut for me, ok? Please.. I'm in tears now..
Zitao: what, don't cry!
FanWu: It's just that, I don't want my friend to hurt himself. I swear, I will go to Korea, and beat the hell off the bullies. I'm not joking.
Zitao: You will??
FanWu: I will do anything to make you happy. At any cost. No one will hurt my friend. Ever.
Zitao: omg Kris.. Thank you...
FanWu: Promise me you won't cut. And never say bad things to yourself. Because you're not like that. People are just saying lies about you. Try to ignore it.
Zitao: I will try my best for you. Thank you ^^
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A/N: I hope you enjoyed this first chaptetr! I was going to make this a one-shot, but changed my mind. Please, if someone sees grammar mistakes, drop me a message if some of you are willing to help me out with this! ^^ Thank you for reading and stay tuned for a new chapter!
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