It has been 8 years since they become friends .
After the first year of being friends , they had already been a new item .
Bestfriends . That word still lingers in his mind .
They still in the fourth grade back then .
He knew . He knew it well . Even if his love for the slightly older boy is as big as the universe, still he cant have him .
The older really didn’t know , how much his simple words can affect the younger .

“ Youngjae , you are the best human being I’ve ever met ! “
“ Youngjae !! Thank you ! “
“ Youngjae! You are so cute and adorable and sweet and kind and fluffy and many many more, I cant describe it with words ! “
“ Youngjae !! You are my everything . “
“ Youngjae , I don’t know what my life will be if you wasn’t here . “
“ Youngjae !! You like me ? Because I like you !! “
“ Youngjae !! Let’s go there together !! “
“ Youngjae , treat me pleaaaase ~~”
“ Youngjae . I LOVE YOU !! “

Youngjae . Youngjae . Youngjae .
 

The pain is too much . He cant afford it .
Everyday , he must bear seeing the older spent his time with another girl .
He is the one in fault though .
He shouldn’t help the older get the girl for him at the first place .
But , seeing the older's innocent and pleading face , he cant help it .
He is pathetic . He is weak .

He knew who he is in the older’s life .
Bestfriend .
Just Bestfriend .
Not more than that .

“ Hyung , let’s go to the library together after school ? “
“ Sorry Jae , I have a date with my girlfriend . Know what ? She asked me to watch a movie with her !! You didn’t know how happy and excited I am right now Jae !! “

“ Hyung , let’s stay over at my house today ? “
“ Sorry Jae , My girlfriend invite me to have dinner with her family tonight . Im so nervous !! “
 

“ Hyung , teach me this please ? “
“Sorry Jae !! My girlfriend asks me first ! Gotta go !! “

“ Hyung – “
“Sorry Jae , Im busy . “

He stopped asking after that .

 

If I was a burden , 
If I was like a lugage ,
You should've left me earlier .
Im sorry .

He feels that the older is too far .
So far for him to reach .

At days , he’s all alone .
Hiding his sadness , his sorrowness , with the faked smile .

“ It’s okay hyung ! I’ll have my lunch with Zelo today . “


That is the sentence he always give .
It’s all lies . He never went to meet Zelo .
He do it for the older’s sake .

 

 

 

It’s okay . As long as you are happy .
Since you can be Happy without me .
I wish you're Happy .
I'll put all my feelings behind ,
For you .



 

At nights , he’s all to himself . Still . All by himself .
He swallows all his cries , his sobs .
He keeps the pains all to himself .
The only one he had in his life is the older .
Daehyun .
If he is gone , leaving him , just like the others , there’s no reason for him to live anymore .
He breathe for Daehyun .

Daehyun .
 

“ Hey Jae ! I’ve broke up with her . She cheat on me . . . .. “
There’s the tiny bit of hope budding in his heart .
 

“ Soo ,, can you match me with that girl ? From the other class .. Pleasee Jaeee ~~ “

 

PANG .
His heart bleeds .

 

“ Sure , hyung . “ Still . He is pathetic .
“ Thank you Jaee !! I LOVE YOU !! “

I LOVE YOU .
He should know that the words are meaningless .
But still , he believes the words . 
He knew the older didnt meant the word like he thought  .
But still . 
Still .

 

He is back into his gloomy world again .
Time passed by time .
He become lifeless , like a walking corpse .
Thin , pale , ugly .
No life , no soul , no love .





At nights , he sobs .
The love of his life is happy ,
Once again .

I should be happy .

Everytimes he cries his lungs out ,
He cuts his arms .
He feels the pain in his heart lessens that way .
The metal thing becomes his second bestfriend .
After the older .
 

As always , It all went unnoticed by the older .
He knew . He knew it well .

Without you , Im not happy .
But I hope Youre happy .
Live happily for a happy ending  .
Just know I’ll still be there for you .
I'll watch you from afar .



 

 Author's :

 I hope this will do -,- 
 THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING AND SORRY FOR EVERYTHING !!
 Do Comment !!! :D  
 Maybe , JUST MAYBE , there will be a sequel !! :DD 


INSPIRED BY 2ne1's HAPPY Lyrics  . 
:DD .

#prayfortheWORLDpeace .