AUTHOR'S NOTE:

AS WHAT I HAVE WRITTEN ON THE FOREWORD, THE FIRST CHAPTERS WILL BE PURELY ABOUT MY THOUGHTS. MY INNER THOUGHTS, AND MAYBE MOST OF THE SONES THOUGHT. AND THE THOUGHTS, ARE QUITE SAD. SURELY IT WILL. AND HERE. I REALLY WANT OTHER SONES TO READ THIS FOR SOME ENLIGHTENMENT. 

"Oh, when the time is ready, absolutely. I don't know when but I do want to get married and have kids." -Tiffany

THIS.  A proof that sooner or later, they will surely disband, build their own family and maybe separate to each other permanently. Of course the friendship will be retained. But the attachment can be a little too weak. They are already 25! For God's sake. And at the age of 30, or maybe before 30 or hopefully after 40 30, they will have their boyfriends(just like SooNa), they will get married, and they will have their cute little babies.

And for us-SONES, Bye bye SNSD TT___TT

Before that dating issue of SooNa, I can remember saying this to my classmate(A SONE) 
 

"They aren't staying on their dorms anymore. It means that they can now have their boyfriends"

And boom! I'm right. They do have their boyfriends. Soo and Kyungho is already a couple for 1 year. And it freaking hurts. Not because of the thought that we cannot have a chance to be their one and only, but because of the thought that this relationship thingy might break apart their bond as a group. Tiffany once said that it isn't impossible for them to have thei own family on the age of 30 and it hurts to realize that we can only have barely 5 years to be with them. 

And what hurts the most is that, I can't possibly support them on the next five years of my life because I'm going to college! 

And maybe after I graduate, they already disbanded :(

Another thing. I can see that they are not as solid as before as a group and you can see that they are starting to live on their own by now. 

What's worst is that maybe, the pairs we are shipping today like TaeNy, TaengSic, YulSic, YoonSic, YoonYul name it... They might not be true. Not for a bit. Not at all.

And nobody will know whether they are true.

Because they will never confirm it.

I just hope I can have extra 10 years to watch them perform in stage, to wait for their next albums, and to see them in person. I don't care whether we wait for so long for their album, or their promotions are too short. As long as there is SNSD for us to wait. As long as they are there.

I hope I can turn back time. To be a SONE from the start. From their debut, up to now. And for the next years. I just hope I can feel the time where I'm patiently waiting for their comeback after Gee. For their comeback after Oh. For their comeback after Genie. And for their comeback after The Boys.

But it's impossible. Because I'm only a SONE for two years.

I didn't even support them since from the start. And I regret it.

But I don't have regrets on being their fan.

Even though I know, that once you enter this fandom...

There is no turning back.

Even though it hurts.

I can't do anything about it.

Because  I love them.

And the thought of them, having their last performance on stage. To bid farewell to us-SONES, is really painful. while they are singing "Stay Girls" and "Forever" at stage, we SONES are crying because we might not be able to see them anymore. They might be distant to us. And maybe SONES will not be one of their priorities anymore.

But even though that day will happen, where they will be disbanded, I will still support them. And make them as my inspiration. Because in the future, I promise to find them one by one, meet them, and thank them because a big part of my life will not be complete without them. Even though I will not be there fan anymore, I will still do it. To satisfy the 14 year old me. To make the past me, happy. To make sure that I will accomplish this past promise in the future. Because in my heart, I will never be complete, if I will not do this. I never thought this fandom thingy will be pursuing in this kind of stage. It's almost an obsession. A good type of obsession. I've never been mature on things. Not until I met SNSD. It is where I learn how to respect others. Respecting others preferences and opinions. It isn't purely about just KPOP(genre). It is a family. A halcyon for the fans. I never felt this to EXO, BAP, B1A4, VIXX, TOPP DOGG,GD and the other groups that I stan. Maybe this fandom and SOSHI really has this effect on me. I've never been so serious on anything. Maybe you will brand me crazy, but hey~ I'm not the only one thinking like this. I know I'm not alone.

One day,while I'm listening to fell asleep, it's disturbing how I kept on replaying their songs. Just their songs. Not other groups. I just can't ignore Taeyeon's voice almost giving her heart on the song. with passion, sincerity, feelings, and maybe sadness? Her voice is so calm. Like her attitude. She's always calm. And it's a little alarming. Even on interviews. She's not really talkative. And when it is her turn to talk, I can feel her burden. It's not always like that but, it happens a lot. 

And her thought of releasing and rushing on making new albums, songs etc. is because she's actually insecure of new groups thinking we might switch into other fandom. She's actually drinking alcohol every night to sleep, because she just can't. She said it on an interview. And she might be insane? XD Singing is her life. And maybe she just don't know what to do aside from that. Aside from singing, dancing, performing, recording, and being a part of the group. She doesn't have a lots of friends. She barely have few. Maybe she's really an introvert in real life. And I'm very worried about her, being alone. Being depressed.

I just hope I can be there for her. All of the SONES

To comfort her, when she's in pain.

To tell her to sing, when nobody wants her to.

To wipe her tears, when she's about to cry.

To be her friend, when she feels alone.

To be a shoulder, for her to lean.

To be her FAN, to shout her name. To cheer for her. To make her complete.

And for the rest of the members, I hope someday, when they hear us shouting their names, shouting the word "SNSD", They will recognize us-their fans, and they will smile to us, like what they did before.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

YAAYY~ I GUESS ON CHAPTER 3 YOU WILL BE ABLE TO SEE THE ACTUAL STORY OF TAENY. FORGIVE ME FOR BEING TOO DRAMATIC. I JUST CAN'T HELP IT. AND I NEED TO WRITE IT OUT, TO ATLEAST UNLEASH THE ANGST IN ME.