AN: So. Disney stuff. Awshum. Enjoy. (BTW not including newer Disney princesses)

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Once upon a time, there was this crazy who fell in a rabbit hole and ate cake.

She died.

And came back.

Again.

And again.

And again.

She came back MANY times.

Her name? Alice.

Get yourself ready.

She'll be taking your spot next, ladies.

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550 BC, Agrabah, Achaemenid Dynasty

"Oh, Prince Ali, I knew you were Aladdin all along."

"I love you, Jasmine,"

"I love you too, Aladdin." said a voice that was clearly not Jasmine's.

"Wait, who the hell are you?"

"YOUR LOVER, ! NOW LET'S MAKE OUT!"

Alice quickly sealed her lips to Aladdin's, and she could feel the prison bars close in her mind.

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220 AD, China, Han Dynasty

"THE HUNS ARE COMING, LI SHANG, WE MUST HURRY—"

"Why should I believe you, Mulan? You lied about your identity, how do I know you're not lying now?"

"Well, my identity's changed again."

"Wait, what—"

"KISS ME, LI SHANG!"

 "What, no—"

She bit his lip hard when the kissed.

More prison bars closing.

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1405, Northern Italy

"Ah, the beautiful sleeping princess of legend, for whom I have slain many beasts and conquered many toils—"

"MY GOD ARE YOU GOING TO TALK FOREVER? AURORA NEEDS TO GET LOCKED UP SOME TIME, YOU KNOW!"

"Wait, this isn't how it works, I kiss you, you wake up—wait, locked up?"

Philip never got to figure out what she meant, however, because she kissed him quickly and then disappeared into thin air.

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1552, Luxembourg

"Wait, Snow White is not dead! She is but in a sleep! And only a kiss from—" 

"Can we hurry this up, I need to get to Jamestown next. Oh, by the way, She's having an affair with the Huntsman."

Without letting the prince speak another word, she kissed him and felt the prison bars close once again.

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1607, Jamestown, ia

John Smith drew in a sharp breath. "A savage," he whispered.

"Oh God, did I really transport to this scene? I couldn't come later on? Really, guys?"

Another sharp breath. "The savage can speak—"

"To speed this up, no, I'm not a savage. I don't care how high a sycamore grows, and I have no idea what the hell a blue corn moon is."

The 'savage' walked right up to John Smith and kissed him on the mouth.

More prison bars.

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1656, Monaco 

"Max, look, I told you the girl with the beautiful voice was real—"

"Okay dude, this is taking way too long. We can skip the part about how I can't talk and then we can kiss and Ariel can rot in a cell. Mkay?"

More lips. More prison bars.

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1769, France

"Belle, daughter, what can I bring you—"

"Save yourself the trouble, I'll do it myself."

Alice stomped to the Beast's castle.

.

.

.

"Hey, Monster Dude."

.

.

.

God, those lips were disgusting. At least Belle is in a cell, she thought.

Hey. That rhymed.

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1809, Germany

"Oh God, where's the pumpkin?" Alice said to the fat old woman with wings.

"You know what, screw it."

She walked her way to the castle, still in her maid clothes, walked right up to Pretty Boy in his throne, and drenched him.

Sigh. Prison bars.

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2014, Seoul, South Korea (Fictional)

"____, I love you." Luhan said.

"Oh God, couldn't it be VIXX or some band full of pretty boys that I actually LIKE? And why does it have to be the girl one, too— OKAY HIS HAIR IS PINK. I GIVE UP."

"...___?" Luhan said.

Alice sighed. "Fine whatever. Yeah, sure, I love you too."

She didn't even have to force herself on him that time.

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"Okay, ladies. You ready to die?"

All of the princesses just stared at her, some quivering.

She looked out at the crowd of young women.

Cinderella, in her stupid blue dress, crying.

Ariel, flopping on the ground without her human legs. Hmm, I won't even have to kill her, Alice thought. She'll die on he own.

Jasmine, just looking flat-out amused. Huh.

Belle, holding a white rose, vomit staining her dress. Huh, Alice thought, I don't think I've ever seen nervous puking before.

Mulan, who apparently didn't understand what anyone was saying.

Pocahontas had that stupid raccoon thing with her— Meeko, right?

Snow White, glaring at Alice with contempt burning in her eyes. I knew it would be funny to tell the prince about her shenanigans with the Huntsman.

Aurora was asleep. Oh.

Wait a minute, why did she get ___ again? Eh, who cares, I'll kill her anyway, Alice thought.

"So. You die. I get your princes. Simple enough?"

They just stared at her.

"Okay!"

Alice snapped her fingers and all of them were instantly transported to the newly-bought guillotine. "Can you believe this was only $50 on EBay? Crazy, right?" she laughed.

She snapped her fingers.

Their heads were, well, beheaded.

She snapped her fingers again. All of the princes, including Luhan, appeared before her.

She snapped her fingers again. Luhan was gone. Good, she never liked him anyway.

"Well, this should make up for Alice in Wonderland's lack of a love interest quite nicely, shouldn't it?"

AN: Hey. Pretty short, but I'm proud of it.
That's all I have to say.

Mikey 마익기 ♥