That day had to come.

The airport was full with separations. It was the same for me. I’ll be leaving them all. My family, my friends and my land. My luggage and backpack grew heavier as the thought came to my mind. It made me thinking whether my decision was right. I wondered if leaving them to achieve my dream was right. Look, sadness had engulfed us all. But, the ticket was in my hand, the contract was signed, the luggage was packed and I was already here. I had to do this. I shouldn’t regret my decision and I must be strong to endure this. I’ll come back with my successful self. I will. I must.

My mother was trying to hold her tears. Her whole body was trembling and I kept assuring her that it will be okay. I patted her shoulder to calm her down. I didn’t want to see her like this. I didn’t want sadness kept clouding us when we separated. I wanted to see her smile as the last memory when I left this place.

It was inevitable.

‘I will visit you during holidays. Okay? Don’t worry, I’ll be fine’ I said but, just after ‘fine’, I broke down. I couldn’t hold any longer. Tears kept flowing. My eyes began to burn. I shouldn’t be crying. I needed to be strong for their sake.

My mother pulled me into her embrace and we cried together. I could hear her laughter. She parted with me and held my face with her palms rested on my cheeks.

‘If you want to cry, just cry. There’s nothing wrong to feel sad. Don’t try lying to yourself. You’ll only hurt yourself,’ and that made me cried again but, this time I wasn’t going to hold back. Shamelessly I cried and my mother also cried but, she was also laughing. Unconsciously, I also started to laugh and everyone around us began to laugh.

I got it. The memory I wanted. Her smile was the last thing I saw when I went through the gate. I continued to wave her until we couldn’t see each other anymore.

I know.

I know separation is painful. And it will never go away. No matter how long it is now, it still stings. Time will not heal this because this is not a wound. This is a part of me. All that I can do is, wait for a new day to come and continue to work hard for my dream.