say something (i’m giving up on you)
hakyeon, taekwoon | 1877 words

hakyeon starts to see his lover’s back more often these days. the silhouette of his lover’s broad shoulders has once been a part hakyeon loved to trace with his brown eyes, but now, it only gives him the sharp pain in his left chest. 

the door has become the majority of the noise made in their tiny apartment. the conversations they once had have slowly disintegrated into short and brief grunts and replies. now, hakyeon notices, the front door is opened and closed more frequently and the noise that once made him excited for his lover’s arrival only makes hakyeon flinch in pain.

the love they made has become mere physical touches. now, hakyeon feels like they are only doing it to satisfy their selfish desires. hakyeon feels dirty, used, unwanted.

but he is cha hakyeon and his love is strong and stable.

because jung taekwoon is the world to him. 

so, hakyeon musters up the courage (and gains support from his best friend) and speaks up one night after taekwoon comes home.

“taek-ah,” he starts carefully, watching from the bedroom door as his lover tosses his briefcase on the bed and strips off his upper half of his clothes. hakyeon gulps at the sight because no matter how much time they have spent together, hakyeon cannot help but feel chills running up his spine from seeing a (even if it’s semi-) jung taekwoon. “t-taekwoon, we need to talk.”

all hakyeon gets is a muffled grunt and a disappeared head. as taekwoon pulls the last layer of shirts over his head, hakyeon inwardly pushes himself to step closer to his beloved. seeing taekwoon struggle in his sweaty, sticky, tight undershirt, hakyeon takes the liberty to bring his hands up and help the struggling man. when taekwoon’s head plops out of the white clothing, taekwoon grunts and kisses hakyeon’s hair-covered forehead. hakyeon smiles because it has been so damn long since taekwoon has last touched him with even the slightest warmth.

“w-we can talk later,” hakyeon says with a shy smile. “you should take a shower first.”

hakyeon silently watches his lover leave to the bathroom without another affirmation to hakyeon’s existence. 

they do not speak to one another for the rest of the night.

—————

his mouth dries and his heartbeat quickens. the hold on his cellphone becomes weak, frail — just like his resolution. he swallows thickly.

“hello? you still there?” 

hakyeon blinks and forces a smile (because it’s obvious to his best friend what expression hakyeon has even through a phone call). “yeah, sorry, wonshik. i’m here.”

“i’m really sorry to be the one telling you this. i though it’d be better — ”

“no—i mean, yes, you were right. thank you, i appreciate you telling me…” hakyeon pauses, his mind hazy with shock and disbelief.

“hey, where are you? let me go over there,” wonshik offers through the phone. hakyeon hears ruffling in the background and knows for a fact that his best friend is getting ready to come over. he’s grateful to have such a friend, but what he needs now isn’t his best friend, but his boyfriend.

“no, it’s okay. thank you, won-ah, but i think i should talk to taekwoon about this first. there might be a… a misunderstanding or something. i-i want to give him the benefit of the doubt.” even hakyeon knows it’s unlikely for wonshik, the ever so observant and reasonable male, to misread any kind of situation, but hakyeon loves taekwoon and before anything, he has to trust his lover.

“…cha hakyeon.”

“i love him, wonshik. i—i love him so ing much. i can’t just...”

“…i know, hakyeon, i know.” wonshik pauses and sighs. hakyeon can imagine wonshik running his hand over his hair, like he always does when he is distressed. “just promise me you won’t blindly forgive him, okay? promise me.”

“okay, i promise.”

—————

it’s dark, the sun asleep and leaving behind the moon in its trail. inside the apartment, hakyeon sits on the couch in the dark, the only source of light coming from the moonlight outside and the small yellow bulb from the dining room. his knees tucked to his chest, he nibbles on his thumb, waiting for taekwoon to arrive home.

he isn’t sure how long he has been sitting there, but the moonlight is on the ve